The Pagan's Progress by Gouverneur Morris - HTML preview

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CHAPTER IV
 
NO MAN AND NO FOOT

And so he hid away his secret invention and started off to the flinty hillside where No Foot had his work shop.

This No Foot had once been a mighty hunter, but as luck would have it a great stone had rolled upon him as he climbed a hill and smashed one of his feet so that it dragged after him. Forced to abandon the chase, he studied how best to work in flint, and became in time so clever that he made the best knives and clubs of which there was any record. He invented the spear. In return for his work, the tribe gave him fish and meat, nuts and berries, so that he lived on the fat of the land and was held in great esteem. But he was a surly old beggar, difficult to approach, avaricious and susceptible to nothing but flattery. He had an ugly old wife who kept cave for him. No Man found No Foot sitting in the midst of his chipped flints, chipping busily. A goodly row of sharp polished knives and spear heads spoke also of his industry. He did not look up as No Man approached tho’ undoubtedly he both heard and smelt him.

No Man squatted directly in front of No Foot, and blinked at him. No Foot blinked at the flint that he was chipping.

“These are the most beautiful flints that I have ever seen,” said No Man presently.

“You are not telling me anything new,” said No Foot in a surly voice. Tho’ he was very much flattered inside.

“But how large they are,” said No Man.

“They are for men,” said No Foot, “not for bone scratchers.”

“I have thought,” said No Man, without taking offence, “that you made them of this size, because you were unable to make them smaller.”

“Unable!” said No Foot, flaring up, “I can make them of any size I choose.”

No Man laughed provokingly.

“Go back to your cave, Do nothing, No Man,” said No Foot. “You are between me and the light. Furthermore your person is offensive and your face of appalling ugliness.”

No Man continued to laugh. Then he addressed the hillside.

“He is angry,” he said. “Ho-Ho—because he can’t make them small. He has three feet and two of them are hands. Ho-Ho. He has three feet but he cannot run on legs. He has two hands but he cannot make little spear heads. He is a lump of mud, a filthy bear, a litterer of the ground. Furthermore, if he were not so humorous to look at, I could not bear the neighborhood of him.”

Even to No Foot this seemed a clever sally, and he could not help laughing.

“Why do you want me to make little spear heads?” he said presently.

“I will tell you,” said No Man, “but do not repeat it. I want them to put on little spears.”

“You have a ready tongue,” said No Foot, “considering that you are a filthy ne’er-do-well.”

“I want three of them,” said No Man.

“And what will you give me in exchange for my time and my flint.”

“I will come sometimes and talk to you,” said No Man.

“You will get a clubbing between the eyes, if you do.”

“I will draw the story of your life on a nice white bone, and give it to you. It will consist entirely of hunts and fights in which you get the best of it.”

“That is something,” said No Foot, and he scratched his stomach thoughtfully.

“I will also,” said No Man, “put in a great many pictures of very beautiful women who have run away from their husbands for desire of you.”

No Foot grinned.

“You shall have the little spear heads.”

“They must be of this bigness,” said No Man, and he showed No Foot just what he wanted.

“And when do I get my bone?”

“I shall labor hard, but it will be some time. When do I get my flints?”

“On the very day that I get my bone.”

“I would like them in two days.”

“You can’t have them—not till I get my bone.”

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And No Man was obliged to be content with that. So he ran all the way to his cave, got him a flat, white, clean bone and fell to scratching upon it the totally imaginative life of No Foot, his mighty deeds, and his mighty virtues. When it was finished he carried it to No Foot, and received in exchange three beautiful little spear heads of sea green flint.

“I have no doubt you will become a hunter,” said No Foot politely, for he was pleased with his bone.

“These flints are even better than what I expected from so clever a maker,” said No Man.

“And as for this bone,” said No Foot, “it makes me feel as if I were young again and two-footed.” And so with mutual compliments they parted.

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