 |  |
I was sitting in a beautiful cemetery in the Gatsibo region of Rwanda. I had paid for the remodeling of the graveyard with some of the proceeds from my bestselling autobiography, as my family needed to have a serene resting place. I kneeled next to the family grave and spoke. “I did it, mama. I killed the man who murdered you. I avenged your suffering, and I reminded the world about the plight of our people. I committed the perfect murder. By shooting the dead body of Patrick Bagosora, I convinced the court that I wasn’t the one who killed him. In fact, I have murdered him twice. I poisoned him with a lethal drink the day before I shot him, to get away from first-degree murder.”
I felt an unexpected breeze coming towards me for a few seconds. It ended as quickly as it appeared. I am certain that my family members' spirits were finally able to go to heaven as I had avenged them. As the wind blew gently, the sun’s rays shone through the clouds towards a grave at the end of the graveyard. An adolescent girl was kneeling in front of the grave. I rubbed my eyes in disbelief. The graveyard had been empty when I came in, so where did this girl come from?
I approached the crying girl. She was sobbing in front of a particular grave. I kneeled next to her and spoke gently. “Are you having a tough day?”
The girl looked at me and spoke, “My mother died a few weeks ago. I don’t know what to do?”
“What about your father?” I asked.
“He left many years ago. I don’t know where he is.” The girl sobbed.
“I understand how you feel, my dear. Are you hungry? I can feed and house you while we are looking for your father.” I suggested.
“Thank you, Madam. I can’t tell you how grateful I am that someone sees me.” The girl whispered.
“You’ll be safe from now on. I am Samantha.” My voice soothed her.
“I am Naomi,” Naomi replied softly.
“Nice to meet you, Naomi. We better get you some food.” I said, smiled, and took her hand gently.
Naomi smiled and I took her to my place where I prepared a big warm meal and then tapped up a large bath for her.
***
IT IS INTERESTING HOW much one can miss out when one is constantly dwelling in the past. I had walked past Naomi every day for a whole week without noticing her, while my mind was stuck in the past. Once I let go of my dead ancestors, the light shone on Naomi and I noticed her for the first time. I like to believe that Jesus put her on my path, but I am not too sure about it. For that to be true, Jesus would also be the one responsible for Naomi’s mother’s death, and I rather not host thoughts like that about the Lord of Mercy.
Regardless of why our paths crossed, Naomi turned out to be my second lease on life. Until I met her, I had only lived for myself and avenging for my dead family. Living for the dead is a hollowed existence, and for many years, I was more dead than alive. Once I found Naomi, I got my second lease of life. Together with Naomi, I experienced the happiness that my life entailed before the Rwandan genocide occurred.
At times, I fell back into melancholy. Experiencing happiness and true meaning in life, I bemoaned the many years of sorrow I had wasted. I shook off these feelings as fast as I could. The past was gone, and the future hadn't happened yet, so all that mattered was enjoying the present.
As for Naomi, I found it thought-provoking that she was 12 years old when I found her. This was the same age I had been when the civil war took everything from me. In a sense, I felt like a time-traveller creating a new future for someone walking the same path that I had walked.
I tried to avoid making the mistakes that my adoptive mother in Australia, Lisa Henshaw had made when she raised me. I reminded myself that Naomi was not a replacement for the family I never had. Naomi was a unique gift from God, and the only way I could give her the upbringing I never had, was to treat her as such.
As for Naomi, I am sure that she saw me as a replacement for her dead mother, at least in the beginning. I accepted this for what it was. It had taken me over 20 years to get over my family, and I was selfish if I expected Naomi to change her perspective overnight.
Once Naomi and I had settled in, I focused on my future vision for my village. I prayed to God every night to give me the strength to stay on the path of positivity and love. I had spent too long on my path of vengeance and sorrow, and enough was enough.