Being in the last year was as tedious as anything could be with my project and presentation but that does not make me forgot Cynthia for once or the way she was the last time I saw her.
I was restless. I wasn't comfortable with Cynthia's condition the last time I saw her and I prayed to see her again which I was granted two days before my last paper.
I saw myself on the same green lawn we used less than two years ago. Which made it thrice and made me started wondering the reason why we were using the lawn again.
Few seconds later, I saw Cynthia coming from that exact edge I knew she will be coming from, looking weaker than the last time I saw her, although she was trying all her best to cover it up but her paled face gave her away.
"Cynthia" I called rushing toward her, trying to support her but she held up her hand as a signal that she was okay.
"Tao seo" "Cynthia" we chorused.
"Sit down we have to talk" she said with a serious tone and that was how we found our seat on the green lawn.
"Cynthia. You look pale"
"For now, forget about my health and let sort out our problem"
"Problem" I said spoiling my face to show her how bitter that word was on my tongue.
"Yes. Our problem"
"I don't understand. Do we have a problem"
"Yes I know you don't understand but I will try to make you. I'm inexperienced"
"That was exactly what you said the last time"
"Tao seo. Please. Hear me out. I don't have much time"
"What do you mean 'you don't have much time?'" I asked not hiding how scared I was from my voice.
"Please Tao seo"
"Okay. Go on but..."
"I'm inexperienced. I do not have a tutor. I thought we have all the time. We were given all the chance when we were young but I thought you were too young to understand who we are, but I was wrong. I don't know you becoming eighteen will changed our destiny forever. I've wasted so much time and I'm regretting it now, because my options are limited. I can't give you a single detail of these who I am again nor can I tell you anything that can help to us to find each. I lost that power the exact second you became eighteen and I'm sorry Tao seo because we lose"
"What do you mean we loss?" What are you saying Cynthia?" I asked not trying to hid my fear.
"Tao seo, since your eighteen birthday, I've been having a very great fight with the death and I don't want to die.
For me meet you here, on this green lawn,the closest place where our souls can meet, I use eighteen months and during those months my body is on an hospital bed attached to an IV. I haven't been myself since the day you became eighteen and I'm sorry to tell you this but we lose.
"Cynthia. I can't understand what you're trying to say? I can't understand you?"
"I know it's still hard for you to understand but I'm very sorry because we lose I don't want to be a loser at both sides. I don't want to lose you and also lose my family" and with that I was crying, not that I was making any sound but I was crying because the only girl I had ever liked was saying her byes.
"Cynthia. Please. Don't leave me. We can work this out. You can write everything down. Can't you? I mean anything I can use to find you. Just write it down and I promise you I will find you or die trying, but please don't leave me" I pleaded with tears in my eyes and I was picturing my life breaking into million pieces in my mind.
"Tao seo. It's too late. That opportunity closed the moment you reached eighteen and if I try to come back here again, I know I wouldn't even make it and I don't want to die. I also don't want to leave my family. I'm sorry if you think I'm choosing my family over you but you also have to understand that that is the only way we can both be alive" she said standing up which I also did and then she hugged me. The first ever hug I received from her.
"I'm sorry" she said and with that she also started crying
We stood like that for years or maybe for hours I can't remember and even though the hug felt great, I knew it was going to be the last one I will ever get from her.