Chapter Eighteen
At five-thirty, exactly, Danny Predmore left his office and hopped the down-bound elevator, joining four other people headed out for the weekend. He pushed the button for the third floor. Valerie Robinson had promised to meet him there, just outside the Peninsula Title office suite.
It was Super Bowl Weekend, and preparations were being made for the biggest party day of the year. Everyone was gearing up for an early start on the festivities. But, for the first time in recent memory, Danny cared less about any of that.
At “3” the elevator car suddenly became too small to accept all the awaiting passengers, so Danny stepped off. He joined Valerie where she was standing in line and took her by the hand. “Let’s take the stairs. It’ll probably be faster.”
When they got into the stairwell, he stopped, leaned over to her and gave her a kiss on the cheek. “Happy birthday,” he said, graciously.
She smiled back at him, her cheeks flushing slightly. “Thanks.”
“Twenty-one. Wow. That’s a great year. You’ve got your whole life ahead of you.”
They walked downstairs and out of the building. Danny apologized to her that he had not warmed up the car. “I should have done at least that much for you on your birthday.”
“No, you shouldn’t have,” Valerie told him. “You are doing enough just by taking me out.”
“But it’s my pleasure to take you out.”
She slipped her arm around him and hugged his waist. “You’re so sweet.”
“That’s funny,” he said. “I’ve always thought so too, but you’re the first person to notice.”
“I don’t believe that.”
“It’s true. I’m largely misunderstood by everyone — except you, that is.”
“Well, that’s what friends are for — to understand each other.”
“Then that’s what we’ll drink to this evening — to understanding!”
“And friendship,” she added.
“And friendship.”
They got into Danny’s car, and after he scraped some ice crystals off the windshield, they drove out of the building parking lot and up the northbound I-75 ramp toward Lake Orion. They were going to one of Danny’s favorite placesBilly’s Steak House.
The freeway was clogged, as usual. But Danny noticed how much faster the drive went with someone to keep him company while he drove. Actually, Valerie talked almost non-stop, unloading her workday experiences. He wondered who got to hear these things on nights when he wasn’t around, basically every other night of her life.
Upon entering the old roadhouse, Danny gave his name to the hostess. She immediately seated them in a booth in the rear dining room. The ambience suggested warmth and romance, and Valerie’s face glowed in the yellow-lit room. Had Danny not already made up his mind that she was off-limits, he would have been totally smitten with her.
Still, he managed to puff up with pride every time she looked at him with her dark eyes. Her look spoke volumes about how highly she regarded him, and how she was happier to be here with him tonight than anywhere else she could have gone in celebration of her birthday.
“So, tell me,” he said, opening the wine list, “What should we order to toast the rest of your life?”
She let out a laugh. “I have no idea. I’ve never tasted anything but beer and I didn’t like that very much.”
“How about some champagne?” He hated champagne but believed Valerie might find it to her liking.
“Sound’s good to me.”
“Then champagne it will be.” Danny handed her one of the menus. “Here you go. Pick out whatever you want for dinner.”
When the waiter came by, Danny asked for a bottle of French Brut, not the best on the list, but still $45.00 a bottle. He made a brief show of looking at the menu, but the tenderloin tips had been on his mind since lunch. Meanwhile, Valerie studied her menu diligently. Danny took the opportunity to admire her from across the table. She was wearing a green, Scottish plaid jumper over a white turtleneck shirt. Her hair curled beautifully about her forehead, framing her angelic face. She wore little makeup; Danny figured she did not really need any at all. She was a natural beauty.
At that moment she looked up and caught him staring.
“What?” Her eyes widened.
“Nothing. You’re beautiful, that’s all. And I like your outfit.”
She cocked her head slightly. “Thanks. It’s one of my casual Friday outfits. Real comfy.”
“So what did you decide on?”
“I don’t know for sure. But I think maybe the whitefish.”
“Good choice. You’ll like that for sure.”
Their champagne arrived, and they ordered dinner. Danny lifted his glass to her. “Here’s to understanding.”
“And friendship,” she added.
“I was getting to that,” Danny said as they clinked glasses.
“I didn’t want you to forget.”
His instincts were correct. She liked the champagne. Danny warned her however not to drink it too fast. She remained in her chatty mood, giving him chapter and verse of her struggles to become more independent of her parents. She could not understand why they didn’t recognize her maturity level, and why they would not let loose on the reins. For instance, why should she have to constantly report her whereabouts to them? Shouldn’t a young woman with an Associate’s Degree and a full time job be able to conduct her life with some modicum of privacy? But no, her parents wanted to be informed of everything she did and everywhere she went. Danny agreed with her position, but at the same time he tried to help her understand that her parents loved her and probably worried about her. Considering how beautiful she was (and how outgoing), he could understand why they might be concerned. But it was too much, he told her, to try to control her life down to every move, or to deal with her like she was a teenager — which clearly she no longer was. “It’s just hard for some parents to let go,” he said.
“Well, if they don’t start to let go soon, they’re going drive me out of the house.”
“Maybe that’s what you need,” Danny said. “To get out of their house and into a place of your own.”
“I would really like to do that. But I don’t have the money right now.”
Danny thought of offering her refuge at his house should she ever need it, but he stopped short. “Well, if you want, I’ll help you put together a financial plan for how to comfortably make the move. I’ve got a good track record with money management.”
“Do you really think you could help me? I’m pretty poor, you know.”
“I’m certain of it.”
Their dinners arrived, and while Valerie was attending to hers, Danny asked her the obvious question, “What did you tell your parents you were doing tonight for your birthday?”
“I told them I was going out to dinner with a friend from work. And not to wait up for me, 'cause I may be out late or stay the night.”
“And they weren’t suspicious?”
“They had to cut me a break — after all, it is my birthday.” She took in a forkful of her fish. “And I didn’t say they weren’t suspicious; they’re always suspicious. But, I’m a good girl, remember, so I’ve never given them any reason to doubt my word.”
Danny could see that. He would not doubt her either if he were her dad — actually her step-dad, as he recalled. Nonetheless, attempting to view the situation from her parents’ position, the only thing that might concern him was that she, perhaps somewhat naively, had put herself entirely into his hands for the evening, obviously trusting him not to take advantage of her. But then again, her step-dad had no way of knowing any of this. And that was most assuredly a good thing.
“Well, drink up then,” he recommended. “Sounds like you have a whole night of independence ahead of you.” But she needed no encouragement. She had already neglected his warning about the champagne.
Valerie asked him to tell her about his trip and how things were going between him and Julie. “I don’t know,” he replied. It’s kind of hard to judge. All we’ve done is write e-mail back and forth.”
“Did you tell her you’re coming out there?”
“No. I want it to be a surprise.”
“Do you think she’ll be happy to see you?”
“That’s hard to say.” He picked up the bottle and refilled her glass. He had only drunk a few swallows of his own. “The thing that bothers me is that she seems so distant in her letters. It’s like we were never close.”
“She’s probably just being self-protective because she doesn’t want to get hurt again.”
“Yeah, you’re probably right.” He carved up a too-large chunk of steak before putting it into his mouth. “So how do I get her to drop her guard?”
“Just be yourself, Danny. Like you are with me.”
Hearing her say these words, Danny became encouraged. He sensed that he’d already arrived at the place he needed to be in order to win Julie back. He did know how to treat a woman in precisely the way women want to be treated. Valerie just said so herself.
He set to slicing up another piece of meat. “I just have to keep reminding myself that the past is the past. And you know what?”
“What?”
“I have you to thank for helping me really believe that.”
She slid closer to him on the padded seat and kissed him on the cheek. “You’re so sweet,” she said, then rested her head against his shoulder.
He quickly changed the subject. “You’ll never believe what my company expects me to do in the upcoming year.”
“Tell me.”
By the time they finished their meals, Valerie had become giddy. And Danny felt a little guilty for having gotten her drunk. Since her car was still parked in the office building lot in Troy, he knew he couldn’t take her back there any time soon and let her drive home in her present state. He thought over his options for a moment and then suggested, “how ’bout we order some coffee and dessert?”
“Only if I can have an after-dinner drink. I’ve always wanted an after-dinner drink.”
You don’t need an after-dinner drink, he thought, but did not say.
“Sure, whatever you want. It’s your night.”
Upon returning to their table, the waiter, when asked for a recommendation, suggested the signature brandy — at six-fifty a glass. Danny could have predicted as much. But then, he hadn’t had brandy in the space of Valerie’s lifetime either, so he merrily agreed to two glasses, along with two coffees and two slabs of Billy’s legendary double-chocolate cake. What’s a birthday without cake, anyway?
Danny conceded to himself that the waiter deserved a decent tip when Valerie, with a look of pure delight on her face, said she liked the brandy even more than the champagne. Unfortunately it delivered the knockout blow, putting her deep into the ozone, where even the coffee couldn’t reach her.
Not knowing what else to do, after paying the bill and helping Valerie with her coat, he led her to the car, buckled her up, got in himself, and began driving toward his house. She yammered the whole way, though it was a short drive, slurring her words somewhat and rambling on about this and that. “Dinner was fand-dastic. The cake was ‘to die for.’ I feel posid-div-ly wonderful. Danny, you are such a dear.”
He hoped she did not object, he told her, but he was going to take her to his house to give her some time to sober up. “Great,” she said. “It’s way too early to go home anyway, ‘specially on my birthday. Do you have any brandy at your house?”
“Don’t be silly.” Danny said.
“Why not? I like being silly. I never get to jus’ be silly anymore. It’s fun.”
After pulling the car into his garage, he told her to wait until he came around to help her out. He lifted her arm around his shoulder and led her through the kitchen door.
After hanging her coat, he helped her to the living room couch. “Relax a few minutes,” he said. “I’m going to go put some coffee on.”
By the time he came back, she was gone.
Danny walked down the hall in search of her. But upon hearing sound emanating from the bathroom, he headed back to the living room to wait for her return, settling himself into his favorite chair. After a few moments he heard the squeak of the bathroom door and watched for her to emerge from the hallway. When she did not immediately appear, he set off in search of her once again.
He got all the way to his bedroom before finding her. She had turned on the light and was looking around.
“I thought you got lost.”
“I’m just taking a tour,” she said, grabbing onto one of the posts at the foot of his bed.
“Sorry it’s such a mess,” he said. “I’m not the neatest housekeeper.”
“At leas’ you made your bed.”
“My mother taught me that.”
“Yeah,” she acknowledged. “Muhzers are like that.”
“I put on some coffee.”
“I know.”
“Come on. I’ll show you around the rest of the house.”
“Okay.”
Danny pointed out his master bathroom but cautioned her not to go inside. He had not picked up after himself this morning. Plus, he deliberately left out all his toiletries so he would not forget to pack what he needed for the trip. He took her by the hand and led her into his office, Daniel’s old room. His computer sat quietly on the desk there. Against the wall stood a bookshelf containing various manuals, binders, and paperbacks, haphazardly arranged. Assorted papers lay scattered on the floor, along with a couple of beer cans and a near-empty bowl of pretzels. He realized that, like his bedroom, the office was in dire need of straightening. It embarrassed him that she was seeing everything in such disarray. But she did not seem to mind.
From there they went into Clarrie’s old room, which looked pretty much as it did when his daughter lived at home, except that all her pictures and personal items had gone with her to college. Valerie said she liked the pink and white-striped wallpaper, and the balloon-style curtains. The bed looked comfortable, she added.
Finally, they proceeded back down the hall toward the living room. She clung to his shoulder as they walked, bumping into him along the way.
“There’s the dining room, which I hardly ever use,” he told her. “Julie got all the good dishes in the divorce settlement anyway.” He led her back toward the couch. “Well, that’s pretty much all of it, except for the lavatory. The basement’s finished, but it’s kind of a mess down there. Plus, I have the heat turned off downstairs.”
He helped her seat herself again on the old blue couch with the poofy pillows, a remnant of his married life. Julie had picked it out without having consulted him first. But then again, he had never been much of a furniture shopper.
“It’s a nice house,” she said, adjusting one of the pillows behind her.
“I’m glad you like it.” He did not know what to say next until he remembered the coffee. “I’ll go get us some coffee.” He turned on his heel and left her alone again.
He returned carrying two mugs of steaming brew and put them down on coasters on the coffee table.
“Come here, sit next to me,” Valerie suggested. “We can talk.”
As he did so, he felt a little bit like he was back in college again. Like he had taken Julie out on a date, gotten her looped, and invited her back to his apartment to see what might develop. He, of course, felt a strong attraction to Valerie; it was futile to think otherwise. But he had already made a commitment to himself to respect her, to treat her appropriately, and not to try to make anything out of the relationship beyond the bond of friendship. Now, alone with her in his house, sitting next to her warm body, he was struggling to remember why it would not be a good idea to try to seduce her.
She turned herself so as to better converse with him. “You know what I’ve been thinking?”
“No idea,” he replied, noting that she seemed to be getting a second wind.
“I’ve been thinking that here I am twenty-one years old, in the prime of my life, and I have nobody to love. It’s ridiculous. Most of my girlfriends from church are either engaged or married already. And I am just getting old, all alone.”
“I’m sure it can’t be as bad as all that,” Danny said, studying her. “You may feel old, but take my word for it, your life is just beginning. And besides, I’m sure there’s a guy out there — right around the next bend probably — who you’ll fall madly in love with.”
“I doubt that.”
“Why? You’re beautiful — ravishing, really. What man wouldn’t want to find someone like you? I only regret not being born twenty years later than I was.”
She leaned over to kiss him on the cheek. “You’re sweet,” she told him for the third or fourth time tonight. “You have no idea, Danny, what it’s like 'cause you’re so different from my parents. They are so strict; they don’t want me to date any guys who aren’t members of the church, or at least Christians. And so there’s no place where I can go to meet guys except church, and that doesn’t leave me with many choices. Besides, the church guys are such geeks.”
“I’m sure your parents want the best for you. They’re just being a little over-protective; that’s all.”
“I know.” She picked up her coffee mug and blew some steam off the top. She audibly slurped some coffee. “I really love them, you know.”
“I’m sure you do.”
“I think what they’re afraid of is, if I don’t live my life according to their standards, I’ll end up with some guy who’ll beat me up or run around on me or something. But the thing is, Christian marriages are just as likely to end in divorce as any other marriage is these days.”
Danny didn’t know what to say in response to this last statement, but he tried again to encourage her, “Don’t worry, you’ve got so much to offer someone. You’re not going to end up as a statistic.”
“I’m not so sure, Danny.” She paused to take another sip, then continued to verbalize her thoughts, “I think Christian kids like me get married way too soon because they aren’t allowed to have sex any other way. Then, once they find out who the other person really is, it’s divorce court time.”
She went back to her coffee. Danny watched her, admiringly.
After setting her mug down she went on, “And I’m probably the next victim. I’d already be one if I dated more often, like the guys I met at college. All they ever wanted was my body.” She turned to him again and looked right into his eyes. “Tell me something, Danny.”
“What’s that?”
“Were you a virgin when you got married?”
“Not exactly.”
Valerie giggled at his response. “What does that mean — ‘not exactly?’”
“Julie and I dated for a while, and after we got engaged, we thought it would be all right to, you know...”
“To have sex.”
“Right. We knew we were going to get married, so we figured it was okay.”
“But you see, that’s exactly my point. I couldn’t even do what you did without committing a sin, and, according to the church, sex is the worst kind of sin, 'cause you commit it with your body. It’s true, of course, but that doesn’t change the way a person feels inside.”
Danny began to feel the import of her internal struggle. The one burning passion that every young person has, the thing everyone wants most in life, this was the very thing that Valerie had been taught to run away from. It was as though she was fighting against her very own soul. She could either give in to her desires, or virtuously attempt to defy both nature and her own physiological instincts. There would be no victory regardless of the outcome. Marriage was the only way out of the dilemma. But then, how could you be sure you were picking the right partner — your soul mate, so to speak?
He took her hands and held them. “Hang in there, Valerie. You’ll get through this.”
She put her head on his chest. “Hold me, Danny. Just hold me.”
Danny put his arms around her, and for the first time felt the softness of her breasts as she pressed herself against him. He also felt the warmth of her breath on his neck and the gentle grip of her hands as she wrapped her fingers up over the top of his shoulders from behind. With his senses full to overflowing with her, he found himself fighting back an unbelievable urge to kiss her. It was she, however, that saved him the agony of restraint when she presented her lips to his.
They kissed gently and lingered together for a moment. Danny pulled away first. “I don’t think this is a very good idea.”
“Why not? Don’t you like me, Danny?” She ran one hand down the side of his face.
“Of course, I like you, Valerie. You’re probably the best friend I have. But I’m an old man, and you’ve just had a little too much to drink.”
“Come on, I want you to kiss me again.”
He of course wanted the same thing, but he did not want to ruin the specialness they had by allowing something romantic to get in the middle. And mostly, he did not want to rob her of the flower of her youth, something he knew he could easily do if he let down his own artificial defenses.
“All right,” he said, giving in temporarily, mainly because of his deep regard for her, and because he could not bring himself to deny her what was in his power to give, especially on this night — her night. “But only once more.”
They kissed again, and he carefully lay her head down on his lap. With one hand he began stroking her hair. He could tell that she was still slightly inebriated and therefore somewhat confused, feeling desires which she’d been forced to suppress since early adolescence. He had seen drowsiness in her eyes earlier, and consequently, he hoped she might fall off to sleep if he could get her to relax. Once asleep, maybe she could overcome her birthday melancholia, a painful mournful state, one with which he had acute familiarity, having been there himself not a fortnight ago. With some sleep she could likely revive her predominant spirit, slough off the night, the champagne, and the brandy, all together, and especially her amorous feelings for him. In addition, explaining her whereabouts to her parents would be better left for morning when she would have a clear head on her shoulders and the usual spring in her step once again. He could take her to her car before heading down to Metro Airport for his 1:00 flight to California.
He was right. In about ten minutes she was sliding off toward dreamland. Feeling her grow heavy with sleep, he tried to get up without waking her. But, while attempting to put a pillow under her head, she stirred again and mumbled something unintelligible.
“Shh.” he said. “Go to sleep. I’ll get you a blanket.”
“I don’t want to sleep here.”
“Well, you certainly can’t go home in your condition.”
“No, no, Danny. I want to sleep in your room...with you.”
“I don’t know, Valerie.”
She lifted her head up and looked at him with sad eyes. “Not for sex, Danny. I can’t have sex, remember? I just want you to hold me. That’s all.”
So, Danny took her to his bedroom, but as he tried to get her to lie down, she protested again. She didn’t want to wrinkle her clothes. So, gingerly, he helped her out of her jumper and blouse, and for a moment he stood there gaping at herat the young, lovely body he was about to hold in his arms for an entire night, at her magnificent breasts, her graceful round bottom, the soft protrusion of her belly, all adorned with white satin underclothes. And inwardly he cursed himself for being so damn old and so damn concerned that he didn’t spoil their friendship or her innocence, such that he shook at the very thought of violating her. And then he sat her on the bed, and, seeing her shiver, he went to his closet for one of his old, cotton button-downs that she could wear for a nightshirt.
He put her into his bed and covered her with the sheet and quilt. He then went into the bathroom to undress, and, looking at his own aging, not nearly so magnificent body in the mirror, he thought it best to put on some pajamas — a clean pair, of course. He brushed his teeth, straightened his hair, and used the toilet before returning to her.
“Hold me, Danny,” she said, somewhat sleepily.