Witch's Grave by J Bennington - HTML preview

“Sorry to hear that, but you're not cleared here even if you’re cleared there. We’ve had several complaints about improper sexual conduct with your customers. The accusations are serious enough to be discussed and investigated.”

Robin glanced at the two receptionists, witnessed their false busy work, and wanted to slap them.

“Must we discuss this in a public place?”

Robin followed her into the Farmington Room and sat exhausted in a chair by the door.

“I can’t believe any of this. What’s the trouble here?”

“Five customers have reported you offering sexual favors in return for making adjustments in their records to save them money and taxes. Three have said you accepted financial bribes for the same service, and so far, three customers have been verified by an external audit. So, did you do that?”

“No. Do I look like the kind of woman to do that? I can’t believe all the crap that I’m being hit with. It’s not me. It’s not me!”

“What happened on that sudden vacation to Denton?”

“Ariel went to gamble. I went with her to help her drive and locate a relative I never knew existed. I found her grave and tried to make it look loved, but I don’t know. Maybe her spirit didn’t like that. My life has been dragged through a septic tank since then. And I barely get time to straighten one before another one stomps into my path.”

“What did you do with the grave?”

“Threw away a bunch of dried flower stems from her tombstone. I would replace them with fresh ones and return a few times a year to change them. I guess she didn’t like that. I found out from my great-grandfather that she was a witch and was burned to death right outside the cemetery at her home. I guess she’s after me now.”

“Robin, if anyone else but you told me that, I’d recommend you get psychiatric counseling. I can believe you, and what you say might be true, but you are on Administrative Leave with pay until the allegations about your conduct have been investigated. If there’s anything personal in your cubicle that you wish to take with you, let’s go and get that now, and I’ll take your access card. We’ll surrender your pass at the reception desk, and I’ll contact you as the case progresses.”

*

Robin did not remember driving home and did not know she called Rachel on arrival. She entered her apartment, sat on the floor before the love seat, and made an unknown intense inspection of the carpet between her legs. She became aware when Rachel’s worried voice reached her ears and her body warmth pressed against her in a hug.

“Hey, Robin. You don’t look well. Do you need to lie down?”

“That wouldn’t help. You smell like oranges, and I love your warmth now in my cold world.”

“Yeah, I made fresh orange juice for the kids, and the smell lingers on my fingers for a long time. So, what happened to ruin your festive mood?”

“Life ganged up on me as usual. It just can’t stand for me to be so happy for too long.

So, I stopped at the Donaldson Administration Building to arrange some vacation time and learned they had that waiting for me already. They placed me on Paid Administrative Leave pending an investigation from some of my customers. It seems I’m a bad girl with tendencies to accept bribes and/or be promiscuous with them and help them avoid excessive tax payments.”

“Oh, that’s bullshit!”

“I know that. It’s a continuation of the attack on me by Cherie’s spirit. However, even if I don’t like it, the Administrative Leave came at a convenient time because it gives me lots of free time to work on a solution to help myself out of this mess.”

“You’re making me feel bad. What if I kiss you now?” She did not wait for an answer; she just did it.

“Um, that helps. At least I feel connected to the earth and alive.”

Rachel kissed her again.

“You smell like oranges, but you don’t taste it.”

Rachel pulled her face back. “Look at me. Open your eyes. Are you cool with that or this?” Her hand began to explore Robin’s breasts.

“If I weren’t cool with it, I’d slap you and make you feel bad. Where are your children?”

“In daycare. They like it, and sometimes I let them go to have a moment of quiet in the daytime. And it also lets me get used to Frank going to kindergarten next year and Susan the next. Thanks for worrying about them.”

“Then I’m cooler with you kissing me now.”

“Have you done this before?”

“Once with Ariel after the attack started. How about you?”

“Never considered it before this morning when you called and stopped by.”

*

The cell phone awoke her later, and she crawled around the floor to find her purse and stop it. But unfortunately, she could not find her purse before it stopped.

“Where did the bus come from that hit me and knocked me into next week?”

She got to her feet, got her bearings, focused on her next task, and stumbled to the bathroom. She returned to the living room, and the phone rang again.

“Hello. What’s up?”

“I don’t have to ask if you’re okay or not. I can tell you’re not. Do you have any plan, or are you running around scatterbrained and hoping to make plans on the fly?”

“Wow! Thanks, Clarence. Leave it to you to cut through all the fog and slap me alongside the head. I’m not okay, and I’m having problems. I had trouble with the police when I arrived home. I got that straight. I went to work, and I’m on Administrative Leave for some stupid and dreamed-up charges against me. And I seem to be a chick magnet, attracting them to me and unable to say no to what they want. Does that sound like it’s coming from Cherie?”

“It sure does. Would you like some insider information and advice without adding to your problems?”

“Lay it on me, great-grandfather. I’m awake and listening.”

“You need stability more than anything right now. You’ve been hurt and lost a lot, and you can sound as brave as you want. But it has hurt you and more than skin-deep.

You’re untrustworthy in the eyes of many people in authority, and that’s bad news for you. Who was the last woman?”

“How did, never mind, Rachel Gibson.”

“Her status?”

“She’s single. Her husband went to Afghanistan and is MIA. He disappeared and hasn’t been seen for over two years. She has two children, Frank, four, and Susan, three, and has never seen her father.”

“Strike a deal with her and take her in as a partner for now. Then, a miracle will happen in her life, and her children will find unexpected care when you do. Do that and bring her with you when you return to Denton. Just her presence in your life will be a benefit for you.”

“What about Shayne? I liked him a lot.”

“Shayne is Shayne, and he’ll be here. You need stability, not someone on both sides of the fence, whether he knows it or not. He can't devote to you when he’s in a lawyer’s pocket when you’re not proven squeaky clean. Do I make sense?”

“Wow! Yes, you do. I never looked at it that way.”

“Because you’re too emotionally attached to him, and that’s okay, but it’s not what you need now. You need stability, and you need someone to watch your back. She’s there for you. So, strike a deal and don’t worry about using her. That is a form of love, even if idiot psychiatrists want to argue that it’s cruel and detrimental to the used one. They’ve never encountered it in their own life or from a witch’s boredom-solving capacity.”

“And she won’t hurt from it?”

“She might hurt from it. So, what? She might get hit by a bus tomorrow. So, what?

Do it and stop the negatives.”

“What about Shayne?”

“He will be around. But he needs to grow up and learn how to make decisions, and I think that’s coming with his loving you. Are you on the way to Denton yet? You could have been ten miles down the road with all this jawing turned to drive.”

“Clarence, thanks for your words of wisdom. I’ll be on the road soon. But first, I must find out what happened to Rachel and finish packing. See you soon.”

She disconnected the phone and kissed it. “It’s delightful to have salvation at your fingertips. Thanks, Clarence Lowbottom.”

She found Rachel standing at the open French doors by the balcony. She made it all the way to touch her before she was aware.

Rachel whirled and had a hand clutching her breast. “Man, you scared me! I heard nothing at all. How are you? I thought you might be dead or at least unconscious. Sorry, I went so crazy on you. It’s been a long time since anyone has touched me or, you know.”

“I survived. I awoke feeling like a truck or bus had hit me. And that’s okay. It’s a sign of success anyway.”

“You can’t hide some things, girl. You need to go, don’t you?”

“Yes. Nothing will get done here except some more playing with you. I don’t look forward to going into the coming battle, but I must or else dig a hole for myself and wait to fill it.”

“I understand. Are you packed yet, or did you even unpack yesterday?”

“I did a little, but not a lot. I didn’t plan on being here too long.”

“Then go do that, and I’ll make a quick breakfast.”

“Thanks, I will, but I need to ask you something before I do. Will you come with me?”

She left the question at that and waited to see what would happen.

Rachel never broke eye contact. “Uh, why? Is there no one else waiting there for you? Or is that the reason? Or is it something else? Did last night? No, never mind. Now I’m back to why?”

Robin grinned and pulled down her lower lip. She enjoyed the white teeth and the noise when she released it, smacking the upper one.

“I like that problem-solving solution. One, I liked it. Two, I want more. I’m a baby superhero emerging, and I need someone to watch my back so I don’t get killed in the first two minutes of the battle. As a baby, I also need someone with motherly instincts to kiss all the boo-boos I get. Five, I need stability, and you can provide that. You’re a mother with internal strengths to help me where others would fail me.

“I did flip out over a man there, but he’s deep into Denton and works for a law firm and the city government. That puts him on the wrong side because the citizens of Denton executed my great-grandmother. The government officials turned their heads and did nothing to stop it or prosecute the killer mob afterward. She was a witch. They burned her and went back to work. It’s okay. It’s no big deal. No one will ever care or get hurt by it.”

“Wow, you talk a lot when you get wound up.”

“Right, so to that I say, ‘Simpletons! Educated nitwits! You don’t do something like that and think it will go unnoticed or unpunished. I’ve opened the door, and I guess I’m next to be burned, so your problems will disappear! Let the earth open and swallow your whole city, which will solve the witch problems you didn’t have to start with. But, at the same time, it will remove a vast stupidness from the face of the earth.”

A smile worked across Rachel’s face. “Step out, tiger. It’s a pleasure to see you react when a little anger is cranked into the mix of your life.”

She moved closer to Robin and lay a hand on her neck.

“That’s an interesting offer. I like you, and I get pleasure from just being around you. However, what will I do about Frank and Sue while I’m on a crusade with you?”

“You would have to ask that. I don’t know. We can’t take them with us. Do you know anyone safe enough who would care for them?”

“Not offhand, because my parents don’t like Roger or anything about him, and the children are his. My parents never ask to see them, visit them, or have them over for a weekend. It’s like they don’t exist. The only one who might at least consider it would be my sister, Charlene, who hasn’t spoken to me in about twelve years. I don’t know if she would talk to me now.”

“Why the breakup for you and her?”

She shrugged and made an odd face. “Silly stuff. She liked Roger and dated him twice before he asked me out and cast his lot with me. She thinks I stole him to hurt her, and she let me know what she thought of me in public, and then she’s been an iceberg ever since.”

“Where does she live?”

“She rents an apartment in the sprawling metropolis of Milton.”

“Oh, gag me. The place where all queens in the world are made and trained. Give me five minutes alone on the balcony, then bring me your cell phone and her number if you have it.”

“What are you going to do?”

“Send her a pair of crotchless panties so she’ll be easier to touch in the future.”

Rachel laughed. “You’re a nut, but I’ll do it to see what happens. Are you going to touch her? Never mind.”

“Can I supersize that order to include a cup of coffee and a tiny kiss?”

“You got it.”

Robin got comfortable and faced west toward Denton. “I know you think you’re doing things properly, but you’re not. It’s improper for such a widespread and lengthy punishment over something that could have been avoided. I’m coming back. You might close your ears to the rest of the world, but this itty-bitty piece of flesh will be heard. I love you, and I won’t stop until you feel it and return it.”

*

Rachel appeared, set the coffee on a small table, kissed her, and handed her the cell phone.

“Her name is Charlene. Her number is on the screen. Just press the green call button and bon appétit.”

“Wish her that idiom. I already know the outcome. She’ll gag and try to spit me out, but I’ll be stuck to the roof of her mouth like gooey peanut butter. Good luck on getting rid of me.”

“I’m starting to love you a little bit. Is that okay?”

“Ask her that when I’m done. Better yet, wait until after she kisses my feet and then ask her. Then, she’ll be much humbler and more willing to answer. Now sit and be quiet.”

She pressed the call button and waited. As soon as she answered, she pressed the Speaker button.

“If I remember right, this is Rachel’s number. What the hell are you calling me for?”

“I’m not Rachel. She’s busy now, kissing my feet. She’s first. You’re next. Get your butt up here to Seaford, and don’t take too long, or the State Police will escort you. I don’t have all day to wait for your whiney crap.”

She hit the end call button.

It rang almost immediately.

“This is Queen Robin speaking. How may I help you?”

“Who the hell do you think you are? There are no queens in Delaware, and I’m not kissing your feet!”

“I’m Queen Robin, in your sister’s apartment. You WILL kiss my feet of your own free will or be tied to a chair while I shove them in your mouth. And how it happens is no, never mind to me. But feeling your lips on my feet does matter, and it will happen.

Are you driving yet?”

“Who the hell are you? Where is my sister? Get off her phone and let me talk to her!”

“Why? You haven’t talked to her for twelve years, why start now? Oh, I get it. You know she’s kissing my feet, and you’re jealous. You wanted to be first. Well, tough titty, Charlene. You’re second best, but I’ll give you a critique after you're done. You might make the front cover of the Foot Kisser Monthly Gazette.” She hit the end call.

It rang again.

“This is Queen Robin speaking. How may I help you?”

“What are you doing?”

“Sitting here minding my own business, feeling delighted while she washes my feet with her mouth. What is your problem? Why are you annoying me? If you keep it up, I might sue you for invasion of privacy.”

“You can’t do that! I want to talk with her! Put her on the damned phone!”

“Man, you are hardheaded, just like she said you were. Will you promise to come to Seaford when we disconnect and kiss my feet? If you do, I’ll let her talk with you. If not, she’s on the next plane to Portland, Oregon, to be held in some gypsy camp for indoctrination for two days. Then she’ll be somewhere in the Middle East in a brothel, and you’ll never have that chance again. And to top it off, honey, it will be your fault because you have a hang-up about kissing feet.”

“You’re sick!”

“You don’t know me well enough to make that judgment. What is your answer? Will you come and kiss my feet, or will you sacrifice your sister and her beautiful children?”

“Gah! Gah and Fuck! Okay! I’ll kiss your damned feet right before I kick your ass into the ocean! Now put her on the phone! Do you think I’m hardheaded? Take a vote for yourself, bitch! Miserable ass woman! Queen? Queen of what? Queen of the All Toilets Fall Fair?”

Robin handed the phone to Rachel with a huge grin and a blown kiss.

“Hello, Charlene. How are you doing these days?”

“I’m fine! Who’s that crazy bitch? Is she sane or an escaped mental case? Do I need to FEDEX you a straitjacket for her? Damn!”

“She’s a queen, and I was kissing her feet. I’ll kiss more than them when we hang up.

She wanted to break the ice because I sincerely need your help. I’m coming out of the closet, sis. I’m in love with this woman and leaving Seaford with her. I wanted you to be

the first to know because even if you hate me, you’re still my sister, and you need to know.”

For a few dreadful, silent moments, the whole world stopped turning, and nothing would ever move again, breathe again, and no heart would beat again.

“Oh, brother! You’re not joking, are you?”

“No, I’m in love, and I must leave with her for a time, and in leaving, I have a huge problem. I’m going into a battle with her, and like Roger, I’m not sure if I’ll make it back to Seaford alive. There’s a good chance for a return in a body bag and a plywood casket.

So, I need someone to watch over my children until they can stand on their own. And even if you’re angry with me, you’re the one person I’d trust to do that for me. But I must go, and I can’t morally put them in danger with me. Will you overcome your anger and take care of them for me? Even if it’s for their sake and not mine?”

Charlene breathed heavily on the line until she spoke with a much-subdued voice.

“Gosh, Rachel! What a shock. What a surprise! In that case, I’ll be glad to take care of them for you. How are you doing, other than preparing for a battle? What battle?”

“I’m doing as well as I can without Roger. It’s difficult, and men keep sniffing around the widow’s lair. And it’s a pain in the ass because no one can replace him. So, then I cry and stop and go on with life. But this unexpected angel appeared, and I couldn’t say no. I’ll take a risk with her, and she’s going to fight in the battle. It scares the piss out of me just thinking about it, but I MUST go. I can’t sit here and let her go alone.”

“Wow! I never expected a phone call like this. Where are the children right now?”

“In daycare. I take them there sometimes to get used to being alone in the day.

Frank starts kindergarten next year and Sue the next.”

“Ouch! They sure grow up fast. The battle?”

“The battle is with a dead witch who can’t accept that she’s dead. She’s almost destroyed Robin and Denton, Maryland, and I don’t like that. So, I’m joining her.”

“You still live in Draper King Apartments?”

“Yes, I have lived in the same place since our last accidental phone call.”

“I’ll be there to see you after six tonight. Does she truly expect me to kiss her feet?”

“Yes, she does, and it’s not horrible. She does wash them and keeps them clean.

She’s not a gross queen.”

“Okay. I’ll suck up my irritation and kiss one for the team we are.”

“Thanks so much, Charlene. I look forward to seeing you.”

Robin burst out laughing when she disconnected.

Rachel laughed with her and wiped her tears. “You’re a serious nut case, girl. Selling me into White Sex Slavery. Wow!”

“Hey, it worked. C’est la Guerre! This is war, and anything goes to help you win.”

“Wow, did it work! Thanks so much, and be prepared. I know her. She’ll kiss them first thing.”

“Then both of us will benefit from that loving gesture.”

Robin’s cell phone rang.

“Hey, Ariel. What’s going on?”

“You are. I heard you got fired over silly bullshit. Is that true?”

“It’s not true that I’m fired. I’m on administrative leave with pay until the investigation is over. It’s not true that I’m a sexy slut like they think. They’ll find that out on their own.”

“Are you home? Can I stop and see you?”

“Sure. You know where I live. Come on over after work and visit.”

*

Ariel arrived first, and Robin let her inside.

Robin hastened back to the sofa, where Rachel stretched out, laid her head against her chest, and got comfortable.

Rachel fed her grapes by first putting them in her mouth, getting them wet, and then moving them to Robin’s mouth, sometimes with a kiss.

Ariel did a double-take and looked confused a moment before seating herself on the love seat. She watched the transaction through five times, and each was followed by giggling and kissing. She cleared her throat, and suddenly she was recognized.

Robin sat up and laid her left arm on Rachel’s legs. “Hello, Ariel. You look well. You know Rachel, I believe. She lives on the second floor in the center of the building.”

“We’ve met before but not formally. Hi, Ariel. Glad to have the time to talk with you.”

Ariel collected her scattered thoughts and emotions.

“So, Robin, how long is your suspension? Did they say?”

“Brandy went with me to empty my cubicle of personal items and turned in my access badge at the desk on the way out. She said she’ll be in touch with me, but she never put a time limit on its ending.”

“Bummer. When are you going back to Denton? Or are you going with the paid leave in progress?”

“I’m going back, and Rachel is going with me to help me this time.”

“Oh. When is that?”

“I’m trying for tomorrow. So much of the timing hinges on Charlene, Rachel’s sister, getting the children organized and gone or moving in enough to release Rachel. I haven’t worked that out yet.”

“Oh. Since you’ve got everything under control, I’ll mosey on home, and best of luck to you guys.”

She walked toward the door, and Rachel poked Robin and motioned for her to follow.

Robin caught her by the door. “Hey, Ariel. I’m sorry. That was tacky to let you down that way.”

“Let me down? I hadn’t noticed from inside my bag of dog food. Why didn’t you just tell me on the phone?”

“Ariel, I didn’t think it was serious on your side. It didn’t hit me until I heard your disappointed ‘oh,’ and it was too late. I’m sorry. Anyway, I don’t know how long I’ll be with her, and I did hook up with Shayne, and wow, is he wonderful! I can see us being together, but I need her for the moment. She’s in a current no-win situation, and I see no way out for her, and she won’t hurt if I pull away and go with Shayne. You would. Am I right?”

“You are. You still suck, but you’re right. I guess it’s better to separate now instead of killing you later.”

“There you go. Can we still be friends? I don’t want to lose you all the way.”

“We’ll see on that one. For right now, let me go. Good luck, and that’s for real. Call me when Denton is settled.”

*

Rachel met Charlene at the door, and their first hug was awkward but welcome.

Charlene held Robin’s attention and went straight to the sofa. She knelt and caught one foot and removed her shoe and sock. “Hmm, doesn’t smell too bad,” she said and kissed the top above her toes.

“Sorry for my behavior on the phone, but you caused a lot of that.”

She removed the remaining shoe and sock. She kissed that foot and put it on the floor by the first one.

“Well, does that satisfy the queen? I’m not going to get kinky for your pleasure.”

Robin wiggled her toes, placed her feet on Charlene’s shoulders, and rubbed her head with her toes.

“That works for me. Of course, you can do that any time, but a simple hello will work.”

Charlene placed them on the floor again after a second kiss.

“Keep them clean like now, and I don’t mind.”

She glanced at Rachel. “I argued with myself all the way here about your sanity, but now that I see her and taste her feet, you made an awesome choice. Welcome to the family, Queen Robin.”

“You can drop the queen nomenclature. I did that to make you angry.”

“It worked, my queen. Are you really going to fight with a witch?”

“Yes. Cherie, the witch, was my great-grandmother, but that doesn’t make what she’s doing acceptable or right.”

“And could it turn into danger?”

“No doubt about that. She’s almost had me arrested on meth lab charges; I’m on admin leave with pay while the State investigates my bad financial and sexual habits with customers. Then there was that tornado in Denton. There will be three more and then a hurricane. After that, who knows.”

“Wow! I have faith in you and my sister. Have you sampled her sexually yet at least once?”

Robin frowned, and Rachel cleared her throat.

“Oops. I guess I don’t need to know that. Sorry. It was a natural curious response from me.”

“That’s my sister. She’s vividly brash.”

“Hey, Rachel, you'll never know if you don’t ask. That’s what you always told me.”

“You’re a trip, Charlene. Yes, we have done that once. It knocked me out for a few hours. She’s got a lot of sexual tension from being without Roger for so long. I can deal with it. I’ll take knock-out sex over boring hand jobs any day of the week.”

“Awesome! That’s my sister. So, Rachel, where are the children?”

“Downstairs with Renee’s trio. They were still pretty wound up from daycare, so I let them run free with her. She has a mountain of strength and patience.”

“Well, let’s get them up here. Should I come and stay in your place until you’re resolved, or should I take them with me to Milton?”

“That’s up to you. They’re adjusted here, but they’re not in school yet. They would maybe make different friends at your place, which might be good. Just take them to Milton. We’ll pack their clothes for a month and play it by discovery after that.”

“Then that’s settled. Do you want to help, Queen? Or do you have a nail appointment?”

Robin stood and stretched. “I like you, girlfriend. So, let’s go and get the hyperactive bundles ready for a new journey and life experience.”

The children liked Aunt Charlene and were excited to leave with her. They kissed Rachel goodbye, and silence settled onto the couple left behind.

“So, what do we do now?” Rachel asked.

“I have no clue. Why don’t you call your mother and see if she has some suggestions?”

“I’ll do that.” She had the cell phone in her hand before she shook her head. “No.

Whoa, on that! I know what she’d suggest, and I don’t want to hear it. How about we watch some television and go to bed later? It will be cool sleeping with you for one night.”

*

Morning sunlight failed to bring light and happiness into Rachel’s life. Instead, she sat at the kitchen table, hunched over her coffee cup, and stared at the clock on the stove.

“Sobering night, wasn’t it?” Robin asked and used her fingernails to run around her back and shoulders.

“Yes, and you weren’t kidding about the possible danger.”

“No need to kid over that. Are you having second thoughts about going with me? It’s okay. I understand, and I won’t blame or hate you.”

“Hah! You might not, but who would you take to be your sidekick if not me?”

“I’m not sure about that. I imagine I would ask Ariel to accompany me.”

“Screw that! I’m better for you than her. The love I’m starting to feel, and that wonderfully comfortable connection with you is too much to ignore. I might have second thoughts. I might have third thoughts. However, when I’m there by your side, thoughts are all they will be. I might think to haul ass, but my feet will remain solid. So, no more asking if I want to abandon you; I don’t; I won’t.”

“And if you have another nuclear grade nightmare and pee the bed? What then?”

“If you can get over it, then so will I. That was more embarrassing than frightening.

I promise I’ll get faster on sorting out attacks and accidents. When you were bantering with Charlene in phone tag, you said C’est la Guerre. I guess it is war, and she will use anything she can do to diminish or stop us.”

“Yes.”

“And what can we do against her?”

“Not a whole lot yet. I’m sure she has a weakness, and I’ll have to find it. While I’m looking for it, I’ll find ways to stop the minor to major attacks that serve to wear us out and keep us disorganized, which helps and thrills her.”

“And while we’re doing that, we’ll explore ourselves, I mean each other. We need to be stable and trust each other in all matters. Is that a fair statement of a plan?”

“That’s why I asked you to join me, and I’m happy the rest of us is working well. The trust is working because we can’t have sex without trust, and we can’t say I love you without it.”

“Alright, so what do we do today?”

“Have a small breakfast, do some shopping, and drive to Denton before nightfall. I’d like to be at Clarence’s house before the sun goes down. And we’ll have to backpack in what we buy. There’s no road access, just a path through a thick hedge line. It’s not a long distance, but enough for your legs to notice a workout.”

“Sounds isolated.”

“It is, but Clarence told me it was very well protected also. I’m counting on that to be true for us also. It’s a perfect location for our base of operations.”

“Oh, I just love the way you use military terms. C’est la Guerre, battle, base of operations, and nuclear grade nightmares, all turn me on. Do we have to go shopping now?”

“Yes. Control yourself. You can get turned on later.”

“Okay, spoilsport. What is your small breakfast?”

“A toasted sandwich with one egg, one slice of cheese, one slice of tomato, two or three slices of avocado, and some hot sauce drizzled on one piece of bread.”

“And I reckon you have all that here in your kitchen?”

“If I didn’t, I’d have said something else. You’re not cooking yet?”

“Oh, I’m cooking, and you’d better hope my damper opens in time or POW!”

“Like, I’m scared. I’m going to change clothes; you can work as-is. I’ll be back in a bit.”

*

The two women made three trips with the groceries they bought and prepared for the fourth and final hike from the car to the house.

“Your grandfather seems like a very nice man.”

“He is, but I don’t understand how. I don’t think I could live with someone or something so evil for so long that it didn’t influence me to some degree. Do you know what I mean? If your parents were like mine, after time, they started acting or behaving alike in many situations.”

“Now that you mentioned it, I recall that. I just never considered it important.”

“Under normal circumstances, it’s not, but I’m not so sure under the present situation.”

Rachel caught her shirttail and stopped her. “What do you mean by that? Do you think Clarence is helping her?”

“That’s not what I said or meant. I mean, that’s why I want you here to be the eyes in the back of my head when I’m otherwise distracted. Doing one thing intentionally and doing the same thing out of habit are two different items. One is thought out and planned. The other is a way of life and rarely or never reaches conscious level.”

“This is interesting, so can you give me an example of that?”

“Last night, you intentionally slept with me. You hugged me and played with my nipples, ears, eyelashes, and mouth. However, when sleep took over, you were on your right side, and I had your back presented to me. Until the moment of sleep, you acted consciously. Afterward, you succumbed to habit, as you’re used to doing alone.”

“So, my love was not strong enough to override what I’ve done without knowing for so many years. Cool. I get it, and it’s not a problem. However, since we’re dealing with powerful forces, Clarence might have a problem. His habits might work against us if we’re not aware of them. Well, pleased to meet you, Robin Kirby. My name is Conscience, and I’ve got your back.”

“Wonderful. That’s all I can ask for now. Do you like the house?”

“I love it. Is it going to be yours someday?”

“As soon as I get Cherie Pandora Waterman resolved, I’ll go from a pauper to a wealthy woman. Then, I’ll bypass the rich bitch part of the money and enjoy life.”

“Will you do that? How will you handle not helping people?”

“Oh, I’ll help them, but I won’t dole out money without recourse. If you want help, I’ll help, but you’ll commit to helping yourself first. Just give you money with a smile, nope. I’ll give you money with so many strings you’ll walk away broke or make something of your life.”

“That’s awesome if you stick to that. You’ll have a better kingdom than any other millionaire queen.”

Clarence opened the door for them on the last trip and watched as they put away groceries and carried two suitcases to the bedroom, which he showed them. Then they all sat on his front porch with Rachel on the steps. She relaxed and broke the silence.

“You have a beautiful place, Clarence. How long have you lived here?”

“Fifty years, give or take a few months.”

“That’s nearly a lifetime. Wait a minute! Something doesn’t compute in that.”

She turned to view him and blinked several times as she thought. “Just how old are you?”

“I’m 85 right now. I’ll be 86 in nine months if I live that long. Is there a problem with that?”

“I’m not sure, but you and this place are out of sync. You’re older than you look, and the place, the yards, the hedges, the house feel older than that. It’s bugging my copasetic nerves enough to keep me on edge.”

“Are you okay, Rachel?” Robin asked.

“This happens to me when Frank and Sue try to put something over me. I’m fine, but Clarence and this place are not. I’m here to watch your back, and I will. However, I never said I’d watch his back. You can’t store a glass of water on a board tilting at a thirty-degree angle. It won’t work unless the board’s sitting straight and level.”

“What’s that got to do with him and us?”

“It’s not straight. It’s tilted, and Clarence is tilted more than the house and land.”

She stood and faced him. “There’s something wrong with the math. When were you born?”

“I was born on December 15, 1881.”

She hooked her thumbs in her jean pockets and leaned forward. “No. If you were, then you’d be 134 years old right now. So, why do you say you’re 85? You’re very tilted, Clarence.”

Robin was on her feet, rubbing her arms as if chilled. “That’s not right, Rachel. You have to be wrong.”

“He just spoke and told us when he was born. Is he a liar? Wake up. I’ve got your back. Run with it.”

Robin straightened and studied his worried face. “She’s right. You say you’re 85 and will be 86 in nine months, but that ninth month never comes, does it? Roxana told me that Lowbottom folks are for real homeboys. I don’t know about the rest, but you are one. You’re stuck here. You can’t leave. Cherie did something, maybe put a curse on you, and you’re sitting here waiting to die, but you can’t, and you can’t leave. Is that true?”

“Well done, Robin Kirby! With Rachel’s help, you cut right to the bone on that one.

Yes. I’m stuck here. It was 1916, and the government was drafting people right and left for the war in Europe. I was in love with Cherie, and when my number came up, I wasn’t so hot to go. She wasn’t hot about losing me either.”

“Did you know she was a witch?”

“No. Her daddy had this place, and he gave it to her when she asked for it. I didn’t know what was different about her, only that I loved her. She invited me to spend a weekend with her, and I accepted. She asked me to be her husband and live on the land with her. She promised me protection from the government and all prying eyes if I would stay with her past the weekend. And like a fool, I did it without thinking. I didn’t understand her protection for about four months when I tried to leave. I couldn’t. I asked, and she told me she could not protect me from anything evil if I crossed the property's borders. And I couldn’t. I tried several times, and each time she grew more frustrated, and we argued, and she told me she was a witch and proved it.

“It took me some time to accept it, but I adjusted, and I enjoyed life when I did.

Until the accident, and then the vigilantes burned her. They didn’t do me any favors. I was still stuck, and after a while, I realized I wasn’t growing old either. It sucks, but I can do nothing about it. I should be 134 and buried long ago, but I’ll never see it.

“On the bright side, I can go anywhere on the 62 acres I want to and go into the cemetery on the one stretch of road to her grave. And I have. I’ve gone there and cussed her out for what she did to me.” He shrugged. “It changes nothing, but it makes me feel good for a while.”

“That’s not right, no matter the reason it was done. I’ll add that to my list of wrongs to correct. It’s not that I don’t like you, but living forever runs against nature too great to ignore. That’s not a punishment, torture, or burden I’d wish to bear.”

“Don’t fret about correcting that error because I’ll go without a fight and be happy about it. I was ready to do that 85 years ago.”

Robin turned her attention to Rachel. “How are you doing? Are you ready for bed, or are you still energized like your children?”

“Energized. What’s on your mind?”

“Clarence, are your guests included in the protection of this house and area? Since I can go and come with ease, where do I fit in the protection plan?”

“It should work because you’re inside the dome or whatever she created. Once you’re beyond that, eh, I don’t know. I’ll repeat Rachel’s question, what’s on your mind?”

“One, I want to go and visit her gravesite. The second and stronger tornado should hit us between midnight and 2:00 a.m. I want to be on the front porch while it happens.

I want to see how she does it. Since it’s abnormal, it must be created, and if it’s created, it can be terminated. Knowledge gained is a positive thing in this case. The more I know, the more I can resist and bring back in a fight.”

“Amen to that. You’re far from the dizzy child you were when you first got here. You should be protected there. It would have to fail everywhere, and I don’t think that’s what

she had in mind for it to fail there. That would be too simple and release me from the trap she laid so well. Watch and learn.”

He stood and yawned with a wild stretch of arms. “With that said, I’m going inside now. Be careful, and I’ll see you in the morning.”

“Rock on, Grandfather. Rachel, you call your children and let them know mommy’s okay, and then we’ll go to the cemetery.”

“What are you going to do there?” Rachel asked.

“Play lawyer. I’ll tell the jury what I’m going to do, then remove the glove and slap her to start the duel. I don’t want to drag this out another 85 years or more.”

*

Robin enjoyed the chat between Rachel and her children and then her sister.

Finally, excessive kisses were exchanged, and then it was over.

They walked to the cemetery together and stopped at Cherie’s grave. She smiled at the bouquet of plant stems without flowers lying on the tombstone under a sandstone.

“Hey, Cherie, your granddaughter’s back. Did you miss me? I missed you.”

Rachel watched her in silence and often looked behind her, half expecting to find something dreadful lurking. She scolded herself for being foolish and taking up with Robin on a whim and a rush of affection versus logic. However, overall comfort around her kept her holding on to see what happened next in life events. Like she told Robin before departure, her thoughts of leaving were fleeting and never acted upon.

“I guess you had a remarkable life before you died, huh? I’ve had time to think, and I don’t see you as a witch from birth. I can’t see your mother holding you on her lap and telling you that you are different from other women. You’re a witch and will wield immense power over all other humans in your life. And when children are born, they will carry the genes of witchery into future generations for all the time that people will populate the earth. That didn’t happen to you. You never had a family meeting with your parents and friends and came out of the closet and declared yourself a witch. People with sexual tendencies do that today. You did not.”

Rachel gasped when the sky became darker than she imagined possible. And the snowstorm that accompanied it with gale-force winds had her freezing and struggling to rub her arms and move her fingers. She attempted to move closer to Robin but found her shoes frozen to the ground. She stepped from them and shivered more than before as her feet touched the icy grass.

“This is impossible! It can’t happen!” She took two steps toward her goal.

A huge calamitous noise diverted her attention, and her heart stopped at what her mind said was more impossible than the snowstorm. An armor-clad knight on a massive, enraged steed, with black smoke and flames discharging from its muzzle, charged from the entrance and down the drive. The entire presentation of man and horse was cloaked in resolve, and a flashing steel lance lowered to destroy his target, Robin, at all costs.

“What the hell?” She forced the words in a scream that motivated her and freed her to move. She ran and lunged to grab Robin and jerk clear as a passing gust of wind slapped them with a stench of sweaty horseflesh and burnished steel.

Robin exerted a great effort to remove Rachel’s clinging hands and got both to their knees.

“What? What happened?”

“You didn’t feel or hear it? Incredible! Look. It’s going to take a second shot at destroying you.” She pointed to the parking spot where the knight turned his horse.

“Oh, crap!” She scrambled to her feet and kicked the tombstone. “What is wrong with you? Do you think that’s proper? I wish I could do something to you, in turn, to let you suffer some for your wrongs, but I can’t. And even if I could, I have the common decency to choose NOT to do that. But you go right ahead, Cherie. Do your best to kill me and destroy all around me. If you succeed, then what? What will you do when there’s no one left to harass and kill? Will you take it to Satan and start on him? I don’t think so.

He wouldn’t put up with your crap more than a minute before you became nothing.”

She picked up the bouquet from the tombstone and removed one stem of sage. She helped Rachel stand and hugged her.

“I’m sorry you got involved in this, but I need your help now. Just please trust me.

Please, dear Rachel.”

“You’re wild and crazy, girl! What do you need? Speak it, and it’s done.”

“Stand on top of her grave and be a target for the knight. Close your eyes, stand facing him, hold your hands behind your back and trust me.”

“You’re nuts! Trust you? I want to slap you silly right now! Just take all your witchery and get the hell out of my life!”

“Please help me, Rachel. I wouldn’t ask it if I knew you would die from it. I can’t do both things I need to do here. Come on, girlfriend. Trust me.” She gripped her arms and kissed her.

“Okay. If it doesn’t work, your ass is haunted forever. Hear me?”

Robin grinned and turned her around to face the drive. “Hear you. Hands behind you. Close your eyes. Grand. Don’t move.”

The ground and her body vibrated from the pounding hooves, and Rachel did not like the feeling they instilled in her mind or the fear of not knowing what would happen.

She imagined the lance cutting her in half or being tossed and crashing into tombstones all over the place.

“Stop it! Shut up, mind! I don’t need this!”

She tightened her eyes, listened to the swell of hoofbeats, and prayed to see the morning sunrise and her children again.

She never imagined such an enormous horse could bellow, but the one charging toward her did so. She could not see it stop so quickly that the knight sailed over her head and broke two cement angel tomb markers. She could not see the horse standing on his hind legs, pawing the air against some invisible creature. However, she did feel the blood and intestines when it was ripped asunder and cast aside like lint dust. She screamed, peed herself, and fainted.

“Hey, sweetheart. Come back to me now. Rachel? Come on. Let the fear go and come back to me. Come on. You can do it. You’re okay. You were safe then. You’re safe now.”

Rachel returned and scrambled up with Robin’s help. The first thing she did was slap her.

“Safe? You say I’m safe? Who the hell can be safe anywhere around you? I need to go to San Francisco, join a free-love colony, and never see you again! Be a target for you?

I hate you right now!”

“I’m sorry you feel that way, but I don’t blame you. Do you want me to leave?”

Rachel grabbed her and hugged her like a teddy bear. “Leave? Don’t you dare do that to me! That was horrible, but I’m alive, and I just love you a little less than I did an hour ago. However, I’m strong enough to bring that back to normal soon. Damn! That scared the piss out of me. And I mean that for real.”

“I know. I think I’ll start carrying around a web camera and see if I can sell a few of those accidents on the Internet. Might as well make a profit from it if I can.”

“Do you see me laughing, demon clown? Just stop that thinking and think about how to stop everything before it starts.”

“Yes, dear. I’ll do that. Can you make it up on your own now?”

She stood with little help and turned to view the cemetery. The horse was in two pieces, and entrails were scattered in all directions, hanging from tree limbs and tombstones.

“I need to shower and get off what hit me.”

The knight stirred and, with great difficulty, made it to his feet.

“Robin, do you see that?”

“I see.” She moved to Cherie’s grave and crossed her arms over her chest. “Look, great-grandmother, it’s vulgar and downright impolite to interrupt the conversation and try to kill people speaking to you. So, mind your manners and don’t do that again.

Instead, send your knight packing back to where you found him. If one piece of sage can do that, I’ll shove the whole bouquet up his backside and really mess him up.”

The knight refocused on the women and advanced again, on foot and with his sword drawn and ready to mete out death.

“Robin, he’s on his feet and coming again!”

“Stand still and don’t pee again unless it’s on his helmet. Cherie, you need to pay attention. You knew I was not a witch from birth, and you also knew that I would find you and end the silliness. When you’re wrong, you’re wrong, and all the death and destruction you implement or call out will not make it right. Leave Rachel alone and send him away to his proper place!”

Rachel watched her and the knight and heard the birds before seeing them.

“Robin! From the entrance! Five falcons headed for us, and it’s not to share their love!”

Robin looked at the grave with sadness. “You should be ashamed of yourself, Cherie.”

She kept her eyes on Cherie’s name and snapped her fingers on her right hand.

“Sorry, falcons, but I don’t like you all hard and crunchy. I like falcon meat, but only when tenderized.”

She formed a picture in her mind and lowered her right hand.

The falcons went into attack mode and dropped towards her. They all stopped and appeared to crash into an invisible wall with an expenditure of speed, blood, guts, and feathers. They all fell to the ground around the knight. Abject silence engrossed the cemetery, and when it vanished as swiftly as it started, so did the knight, the falcons, and the horse. The evidence of their encounter with Robin, the destroyed and damaged tombstones and trees with hanging entrails remained, but nothing else.

Rachel hurried to her and clung to her like a lifesaver.

“Girlfriend, you’re a mess and scary to hang out with, but your love is worth it.

Thanks for saving my butt several times tonight.”

Robin picked a few leaves from her hair. “I’m rather glad I’m alive to hear that.”

“Do you think I’ll be able to sleep tonight or ever again? That scared me senseless.”

“I think you will. Let’s go back to the cabin now. We’re done here until the next round. I want to get some sleep until the tornado hits. Then it will be time to work again.

Can you handle it?”

“Like I do with my kids when they’re sick. I clean up vomit at one in the morning and again at three and then rock them to sleep. Then I’m up at six and headed for work by seven if they’re okay.”

“That’s interesting to know, but I hope I can do this without vomit.”

“Me too. I can deal with it, but I’d rather not.

*

They reached the house, and Clarence waited for them on the porch.

“Encountered a spot of trouble, I see. You both appear physically okay but kind of rattled emotionally.”

Rachel bowed. “You’re good at picking that out, grandfather. However, you never follow up with a fix. Say what?”

“Say the solution is for you to shower. If that wasn’t on your mind, just stand downwind from yourself, and it will sink in with cringes and yucks.”

He handed her a white garbage bag. “Now that we have that settled, strip off your clothes and then walk gently to the shower and handle it. You’ll feel better when you get all that horse innards off you.”

“Strip here?”

“Yes, and say goodbye to them. I’ll put them in my garbage burn barrel, and you can start off fresh.”

“Strip here?”

“Will you get over it? You possess nothing that I haven’t seen before, and I didn’t suggest it so I could get excited over your naked body. That was not a horse from this world. You need to shed it here and not try to carry it inside, and you need to get on with it because every minute you delay will allow it to build to a volatile state and whomp you.”

She nodded and dropped her clothes into the waiting bag. “Will you go with me, Robin?”

“Sure thing. I’ll help you out when you need it.”

She turned the girl toward the door. “Thanks for your patience, Clarence.”

“You’re welcome, and you can call me grandfather if you will or want to. You have her courage and determination, but nothing else. Are you going to be up to witness the tornado?”

“Wouldn’t miss it for the world. The fight is on, and I want to win.”

“I like that, and my money is on you this time around. So, take care of your sidekick, and I’ll see you both in the morning.”

*

Robin and Rachel lay in bed and talked little, wanting to sleep as much as possible before the tornado hit.

Rachel snuggled against her. “You keep smelling my hair. Do I smell better?”

“Healthier than with that gnarly out-of-this-world horse innards. Does that bother you?”

“Roger used to do that on occasion when he was home. He did that a lot on the last night we spent together. It seemed that he was loading up because he knew he would never have the chance to do it again.”

“Want me to stop?”

“No, I was simply remembering.”

“What else has you acting deflated and distant?”

“It’s just that until tonight, I didn’t understand the reality of what you said to me when you invited me to join you in this battle, and I agreed. I didn’t know or understand that I could respond to someone of the same sex as I did with you. I scared myself by even asking to kiss you. I kept waiting for the slap that never came and hung up on the go-ahead.”

“Mmm. So, do you want out? Hold that comment. Sorry for my memory loss. You might think it, but you never will.”

Rachel sighed and rubbed her head against Robin’s shoulder. “Love that self-correction. I’ve bitten off a lot, but it won’t choke or kill me. I’ll get over the uncomfortable feeling that I can’t give as much of myself as I might need to in this battle. I feel a bit inadequate for the position I must fill, but I’m a fast learner. You must be with two children under ten, or else they will rule you until Kingdom Come.”

“So, I’ve heard. I hope Charlene is a fast learner. And there goes the sleep state. One Rachel’s backside is a silent roadblock to anything else tonight. Goodnight, sweet thing.”

*

Robin’s eyes snapped open to a sense of dread and doom. She slowed her breathing and fine-tuned her hearing, and all she could recognize was Rachel’s steady breaths. She twisted her head until she could see the clock, and the digits told her it was 1:55 a.m.

She yawned and wanted to stay snug under the covers, but she kissed the nape of Rachel’s neck and rolled over to sit on the edge of the bed.

“What’s up, Roger?”

Robin smiled at the sleepy voice and gave her butt a smack. “Wrong partner, sweet thing.”

“Huh? Roger used to do that when he had an erection that wouldn’t quit otherwise.

Sorry. Why are we awake? Do you want me again?”

“No, my internal clock woke me because I wanted to be on the front porch when the tornado started. Remember?”

“Oh, that tornado. Give it two of Roger’s titty twisters and wake me in the morning while it’s groveling for help.”

“Wow! You’re fun to wake up in the middle of the night. I’ll have to set my clock on occasion just to record the responses.”

“Yada-yada-yada. It would help if you went inside the bathroom and created some dry-heaving sounds. That will work faster than anything else.”

“Until now.” She jerked the covers down and smacked her butt somewhat hard.

“Let’s go.”

Rachel sat and gave her best cross look. “If you keep that up, you’ll learn to eat pillows, clown.”

She raced to the bathroom and passed her in the doorway on the way out. “Want me to make some coffee?”

“That’s up to you. I don’t know how long it will take. The atmosphere is twisting and bending into shape for a start right now. I can feel that much.”

“Just my luck to fall for a Storm Lover. I’ll bend and twist some coffee out of the pot, and I’ll be on the front porch if you’re not there first, slowpoke.”

Robin sat in the wooden swing when Rachel arrived. She had a blanket wrapped around her and exchanged one with Rachel for the coffee.

Rachel sat and watched the sky to the west. “The thunderhead is forming there, huh?”

“Yes, and it’s going to be a big one.”

“It must be a male. They all claim to be big when trying to win a night with you.”

“In this case, it’s right since Cherie is assisting it. See the storm clouds from the north and south? Normally they would not be present or rushing to add their weight to the storm. And even the main storm cloud is stronger than it would be. So, this would be an ordinary heat-lightning event without the externals.”

She shifted positions and closed her eyes, and recalled a chant from Cherie’s tomes.

Three times she repeated it and opened her eyes to a world outlined and filled with colors instead of the standard textures. It took a few minutes to adjust to the computer-like graphics, but when she did, the formation of the tornado fascinated her. She followed the heat and cold and the air lines flowing and twirling.

A lightning bolt flashed from the cloud, seeming angry over being watched. It tore across the distance and destroyed a tree at the edge of the western clearing, splitting it in half, setting it to blaze, and knocking it down to rip up the roots.

Robin caught her breath, and her face looked dreamy. “Awesome! I dare you to do that again.”

Rachel viewed her and the destroyed tree. She blinked as the wind blew a mist onto the porch, just enough to feel.

Moments later, the tornado formed and touched the earth a few miles beyond the cemetery and Denton. Then, it began a slow and steady path, growing wider, growing stronger, shrinking, and weakening, causing the appearance of a demonic heartbeat or breathing cycle.

“Okay, grandmother, I got it. You’ve become what you hated most in life. I promise I won’t be that way with you, but you will learn to stop this form of retaliation. What’s done is done, and what's past is past. And nothing that’s done or past can be changed or even destroyed. Once it happens, the mark appears unforgettable, but you can erase it with one thing that you forgot, Love.”

She turned and winked at Rachel as she held up her right hand.

“My darling woman, I love you, and I love the ignorant, the educated, the innocent, and the guilty people who make up Denton’s population. So, take my hand and don’t let go, no matter what you see, hear, or feel.”

Rachel grasped it with her left, and a mysterious, electrically charged atmosphere surrounded them.

“Grandmother, I love you also, and all the games you play, funny or fatal, will not change or stop that love. It won’t stop, even if you kill me. Would you care to reflect on that or take any bets before continuing tonight?”

The air grew thick and deathlike, and the tornado doubled in size and strength.

“Somehow, I didn’t think so.”

Rachel dared to look at Robin and witnessed her skin glowing and changing colors from white, red, orange, putrid green, and back to white.

A thought snapped into her mind, and she turned her head to see a herd of twenty-five Tyrannosaurus Rexes charging full speed toward the porch.

“Oh, why did I ever want to kiss this woman? Oh, why did I ever promise to go into battle with her? Oh, why did I ever leave my two children to have the joy of being eaten by dinosaurs? I need to have my head examined soon, like last week!”

She shuddered at what it would be like when any of them bit her in half and how long she would feel the pain before death.

Then the thought hit her again. “Love? That’s why I wanted to kiss her. That’s why I promised what I did and left my children. I love them, and I will see them again. The pussy dinosaurs are imagination products. I love them and all their charming little quirks. Therefore, I love them, and they will disappear because they’re in the wrong place and time. Goodbye, buddies. The Lowbottom Restaurant is closed for cleaning the restrooms.”

She shut her eyes anyway, and sparks of static electricity raised her hair and crackled up and down her body, and the smell of overheated motor oil had her near the point of vomiting. Still, when she opened her eyes, everything was typical of what she wanted to see.

She turned her attention to Robin and shifted her position to let her move up her right hand and add it to the lifeline already there.

“Hey, girlfriend, you’re okay. I’m okay. Cherie is not okay for whatever reason, but that’s her problem. Right now, you’re my problem. I love you, and that matters a lot here in this place of hatred and vile condemnation for the wrong reasons. Open your heart and love more. You can do it. I do it for Frank and Sue, and I can do that for you. It’s easy. Open your heart and let the emotions compound beyond all imagination, like the hatred for the tornado. Come on, girlfriend. You can do it. Open your heart and let it go like cupid’s arrow straight into the coldness that should know better. Warm it with love, the ultimate spanking to stop a tantrum or hateful scene.”

At first, she was uncertain if she reached any part of Robin, who still sat as rigid as a concrete statue. However, the disappearance of the hungry dinosaurs told her that something was working, and the color transitions in Robin’s face stopped and returned to normal.

The woman let go a huge sigh and shivered. “Thanks for being Cupid’s arrow, sweet thing. Don’t let go yet. Just fetch a mop and get busy.”

Rachel shook her head and relaxed as the stress of the situation left her feeling lightheaded. One round of lightning bolts hit the dome, and then the final demonstration of anger hit them.

The chains holding the porch swing melted from the heat of the lightning, and the whole swing flew backward to crash into the side of the house. It broke into several pieces and dumped the women onto the porch in a heap with the swing and any available loose furniture piled on top of them.

It took them several minutes of struggling and working together to extract themselves from the mess and stand. The storm clouds and tornado were gone. The winds were back to a slight breeze, stars were in the sky, and insects returned to their serenades.

“And the sore loser loses another round.”

Robin put an arm around Rachel and pulled her close.

“And this warrior thanks you for your assistance. Your love and input did a lot to help pull me back from that evil vortex. She almost had me incapacitated until you went on your love spree. Thanks, sincerely. It’s still beating because of you.”

Rachel giggled and leaned into her.

“I had to do that. We were about to be the appetizer for a herd of T-Rexes, and love wiped them out. Do you know they smell like motor oil when they disintegrate?”

“Never knew that, but I’ll file that away for the next impromptu trivia game. Phew!

Are you going to sleep now? Can you, after all that excitement?”

“Roger could put me to sleep anytime with this neat little game he played. It started by undressing me and . . ..”

“Well, I’m not Roger, but I’ll see how it works for me. I think the next trivia game will be a little spicy for the players. I hope they can handle it.”

*

Near noon, the girls woke and managed to get dressed and leave the bedroom.

Clarence sat in the kitchen reading a book when they stumbled in and sat heavily on chairs.

“Looks like something that lost a fight with the cats. Did you two have a rough night? From the looks of things, you did.”

“We did.” Robin yawned and stretched her back with hands joined behind her. “I feel like a train ran over me.”

“It did, and it was a very long train.”

Rachel went to the cupboard and took out two coffee cups. “Sorry about the mess, Clarence. Have you been outside yet?”

“Yes. It will take a little time to put everything back in place. What melted the swing chain?”

“Lightning from the sore loser. She didn’t like her special storm petering out, so she put us in our place with the rest of the garbage and dust mites.”

Robin grinned and gave him a thumb up.

“We’ll help you after some breakfast, grandfather. That took a lot out of us, and we need to get some strength back.”

“No doubt. That tree was over 200 years old. I guess it won’t be restored, but I’ll get over it. I’ll maybe have to get some help with it. Do you think you might handle that task and ask around town for me?”

Hearing him ask for help pleased Robin. “Yes, I can do that. I’m sure there are tree removal services in Denton or the nearby cities. I’m certain Shayne can be of assistance there.”

Rachel sat a cup of steaming coffee before Robin. “Who’s Shayne?”

“He’s a lawyer working for the City of Denton. He’s Walter Arrington’s sidekick, learning to be a for-real lawyer. And Walter is working Cherie’s will for her estate.”

Rachel sat with her cup, blew across the top of the steaming liquid, and sipped.

“Then why am I here?”

“You’re here to help me against Cherie. We went over that in Seaford. I told you he was on the wrong side of the problem.”

“As if that would make a difference.” Rachel turned her attention to Clarence, who stared at Robin.

“Grandfather, didn’t you say last night that she disliked lesbians and put a lot of curses on them?”

“I said that. Why?”

“Robin, is that why you made a move on me and okayed me kissing you? You didn’t want to, but you needed some female at your side, and I just happened to be handy? Is that it? Thanks a lot for your dishonesty.”

“Hey, Rachel.”

“Let it rest now!” She shoved her chair back and picked up her cup. “I’m going to the isolated porch by myself. I’ll keep myself company for the rest of the time I’m here.”

“Hey Rachel, you don’t have to be like that.”

She kicked the chair back into place with a caustic gaze and voice. “Stop the hey, Rachels! Leave me alone!”

With that said, she turned and stomped out the door, muttering to herself.

“Wow! That went well. Wouldn’t even let me get a word in.”

Clarence broke a faint smile. “Is it true?”

“No, I let her in long before I thought of her coming with me. Your insistence that she should join me just firmed the decision to open all the doors to her while trapping my objections behind them. I did not coerce her to come with me. I figured Shayne or Ariel would be better, but they couldn’t stand up to the pressure from Cherie like she has. “And I like her a lot, and I love how I’ve made her laugh a few times. She’s had a lonely and rather painful life on her own, and I loved how she accepted my offer without arguments or coercion being applied. True, she was high on lust at the time, but it wasn’t on my side. I just love being around her.”

“Hmm. Well, you can build a dome for her and keep her inside, no matter what.”

“No thanks. If she doesn’t want to be around me, I’ll let her go. I’ve told her that a few times, and she said she never would. So, I’ll let her chill a few moments, and then I’ll try to talk with her. And, if I can’t win her over, she can go.”

*

Rachel sat hunched over her knees on the front porch steps when Robin sat beside her and draped an arm across her shoulders. “Hey there, sweet thing. You forgot this when you stormed out. You should go nowhere without a hug from your favorite fan.”

“You’re not funny. Go away.”

“I’m being truthful, not funny. And you’re angry and wanting to maybe rip my head off without thinking things through. You’re letting your emotions run wild and seeing T-Rexes instead of a Greek maiden holding a cupid heart box. Are you listening now?”

“Go ahead. I’m not running away yet. I will when I get bored.”

“A little over a year ago, Ariel opened her heart and exposed herself to me. She pleaded her case for both of us, and she tried several times to seduce me. I ignored her. I

wanted nothing to do with that lifestyle. After the fortune teller at the State Fair threw us together in a distant place called Denton, I did give in to her come on, one time, and I must admit I enjoyed it. Then you warned me about the police, and I watched you dressed down in your apartment, and you wanted to kiss me. And after my recent romp with Ariel, I said okay, because I wanted to do that then. Your tanned legs and sweaty skin increased that desire. All that happened before I ever asked you to join me. I figured Shayne or Ariel, but not you.”

She paused long enough to squeeze her and kiss her hair. “And now that I’ve experienced you and saw you hold up against the nightmares, I say, Shayne, who? And Ariel, who? Are we straight on that?”

Rachel sighed and glanced to her face that was close and then away toward the tree line. “I’m sorry to have busted on you like that. We’re straight. I’m straight. What next?”

Robin stretched and yawned. “I needed a day of rest after that adventure last night, but we need to go into Denton proper and see what damage the tornado did before I unraveled it. And we need to pin down Roxana and question her about Cherie’s history and see if any old folks still exist that might have known her way back then. That would be helpful, but if not, I’ll work blind until I get the right information to wrap things up here.”

“And find someone to cut up the tree back at grandfather’s house.”

“That too.” She smiled and kissed her forehead. “It’s nice, but weird hearing you call him that. Don’t stop.”

“I won’t. Do you like being around me?”

“Yes. It felt weird at first, but you grew on me quick. I like it when I can make you laugh over something. Your face scrunches and lights up, and it’s just so cool. You’ve got a symbiotic comedian and super chick girlfriend working hard to become a superhero.

So please learn to deal with it.”

She stood and pulled Robin up with her and hugged her while pressed against a railing. “Can we finish breakfast now and then get busy? I don’t know about you, but the mother me says go to work and worry about a shower later tonight.”

*

The duo’s first stop was the cemetery office, and as Roxana liked to complain, she was alone.

“Oh boy! Just when I think I’ll have an easy day, double trouble walks into my life.”

Robin smiled and waved to her. “Good morning back at you, sunshine. I’m so happy that I could brighten up your day so you can do your job.”

“I’m sure. We’ve been open for fifteen minutes. How may I help you so you can leave last year?”

“I need to talk about Cherie Waterman. She’s the reason for my being here. So, the sooner I get her resolved, the sooner I can be out of Denton and out of your hair. Then you’ll have peaceful days and only your yellow butterfly hair clasp to deal with.”

One hand went to the clasp to touch it. “Thanks. So, what do you want or need today?”

“Do you know if she was bullied in school?”

Roxana gave her a deadpan stare.

“I know for certain that she was not a witch all her life. Being a witch is not genetic.

It’s something you want to be. Maybe you could get trapped into it out of foolishness, but you’re not born that way. So, I’m trying to find out her background and see if I can find that one thing that set her off on the wrong path. Hence bullying came to mind.”

Roxana’s face scrunched in thought. “Hmm. I never considered that, but I can’t answer your question. She was before my time.”

“Darn the luck. Well, do you know if there are older folks around who might have gone to school with her?”

“That’s asking a lot, you know. Let me think. Uh, you could try the Wilson Retirement Center. The two I can recall are Thelma Ritter and Diane Hart. Thelma is pretty much a vegetable. Diane is sometimes here but mostly gone. One day she’s alert and in her 30’s, and the next day, she’s like Thelma. Other than those two, no luck.”

“Darn. What about diaries folks might have kept? Do you think there’s a chance on that?”

“Good luck finding the pine needle in 100 acres of grassy meadows. If it comes to that and we can’t get you to give up, I can put out the word about what you’re looking for and see what happens.

“Just a word of caution, though. The more you ask about Cherie Waterman, and they understand why you’re asking, the deeper the hole is dug for your remains. So just keep that in the back of your mind, and don’t whine that no one warned you when it happens. Leaving is always an option."

“Ten-four, Roxana. Thanks for your concern and advice. How do we get to the retirement center?”

She gave them directions, and they stood to leave.

“What about a tree removal service? I nearly forgot about that. Lightning took out a 200-year-old tree at Clarence’s place last night. Can you help us there?”

Roxana gave her classic “you’re kidding” look again. “How do you propose to get any equipment into his place? Some other Good Samaritans and I take him groceries sometimes, but we must carry it on through the hedge. No one can drive straight into the place.”

Rachel shook her head and slipped into her mother's voice.

“Roxana, it sounds like you’re afraid of Clarence and his property. When you let fear control you, you may as well help dig your own hole in the ground. Would you like to borrow a shovel?”

“Then what do you propose?”

“How about a company that owns and uses smaller equipment, like Bobcats and Kubota tractors and the like? And for transport, ATVs will fit through the maze path.

How about that? I’ve got something to counter every fear that paralyzes you. I’m a mother, and I need to be ahead of my children, so they don’t turn out like you. Someone hiccups loudly, and you’re shaking like a leaf.”

Her face flushed, and she snatched up a ball pen and a small notepad from her desk.

“Fine, smart ass. Here’s the number for Festus Dalton Landscaping and Tree Removal Service.”

She handed it to Rachel, then took it back. “Never mind. I’ll call them. They’d probably ignore you anyway. I know the one tree you’re talking about. It’s the closest to the house. Are there any others?”

“I think there are two others, but much smaller. They were out farther, by the path entrance. I didn’t check the back of the house, though.”

“No problem. I’ll get Festus on the job, and I’ll tell him to check with Clarence about any others. Have a large day at the Retirement Center.”

*

Thelma was not helpful. Most of the time they talked, she never looked at them or made any sign of hearing or understanding them. However, Diane appeared to be waiting for them.

“She’s a witch.”

“Not always a witch. You were not always sitting here in this Retirement Center. You were outside, normal, and active. Then one day, your body or your mind, or maybe both, failed, and you had to give up and come here. That happened to Cherie. She was not a witch at birth, nor was I. Now, was she bullied in school?”

Her cane tapped the floor. “Some called her a bitch. Some called her a witch. Some called her a low-life piece of shit. Bullied, harassed, and abused are mild terms for her treatment. Anything you can think of to make someone’s life miserable, they did to that poor girl. Trip her. Shove her down the stairs. Hold her in the cafeteria while boys pissed on her lunch tray. I felt sorry for her most of the time. It’s not like she chose where she was born or where she was fetched up. She didn’t visit the earth, investigate all the families, and ask to be born a Lowbottom.”

Robin was alerted to that comment immediately. “What? Back up! She was not a Lowbottom. She was born a Waterman. That’s her maiden name! You must be mistaken!”

Diane’s eyes opened wide at the outburst.

Rachel placed a hand and a squeeze on Robin’s arm. “Calm down, birdie. She’s been around Denton longer than you, and she sounded too assured to be lying. Take a deep breath and suck up a long worm. Better now?”

Robin held up a trembling hand and nodded.

Diane turned her head toward Rachel and asked in a whisper, “Is she okay? I don’t like visitors yelling at me. I get that enough here from the staff.”

“She’s okay; she’s just a tad touchy about her history and ancestors. She’s Robin Kirby, and she’s also Cherie’s great-granddaughter.”

“Excellent? That’s a good lineage to come from. Anita Smallwood was your mother, wasn’t she, dear?”

“Yes. She came from Cherie’s daughter, who married Able Smallwood. My mother married Daniel Kirby, and here I am, confused but living.”

“And that’s still an excellent lineage for genes, honey. However, before Cherie was born, before the name Waterman came into play by Shannon being married, she was sired by Bartholomew Lowbottom. You won’t find it listed on paper anywhere, but when you dally and tempt fate with too much opportunity to be alone, the heat gets too much, and wham! And Shannon loved Bartholomew, and she was a slut for him. She’d give it up to him anywhere she could. And all it takes is a few drops of semen and OOPS. Her papa did not like any Lowbottom at all, but he respected the Waterman family. And all it takes is a click, click of two hammers on a double-barrel shotgun, and you’ll marry who

your papa tells you to marry. Right or wrong, most anyone would make the right choice that lets you keep living.

Robin’s face turned painful. “I know that one, and she, Cherie, was proud of the Waterman name and her peers and the community knew who the daddy was, and they cut her down and stomped her into the ground at every opportunity. And, of course, bullies don’t give up. And the scum maggots didn’t lighten up until she couldn’t take it anymore. That’s the boiling point where she didn’t kill herself as most would. Instead, she sold herself to the Devil and dropped into her witch persona.”

Robin jumped to her feet. “Oh, no! Oh, no! They’re all dead but not from natural causes or old age! She killed them all in some way or another! She did, didn’t she?”

Diane nodded, and her cane tapped the floor. “Sit down, dear. Yes, they’re all dead. I don’t blame her one bit for what she did. The miserable slobs had it coming, and their absence from the gene pool is like giving humans a breath of fresh air. I would have done it another way, but she didn’t ask me before she commenced on them. They’re all in the cemetery with her, but they all got there long before her. And I can tell you this with certainty, Robin; she watched them go into the ground and waved goodbye to them.”

The methodology interested Rachel, and she had to ask. “How did she do it?”

“Various ways, but all painful. Six went to a surprise birthday party where they used those trick candles that keep lighting. Unfortunately, they caught the tablecloth on fire and all six, plus the birthday girl and her parents, died.

“Two couples went camping in West Virginia. The campsite was attacked by a group of black bears. One team was killed and eaten. The other couple fled the area and over the edge of a cliff, where a 475-foot drop killed them.

“One girl suddenly got stomach cancer, and it went to her kidneys and then her brain. One died on the delivery table a few moments after her baby. Two men got shot by others on a hunting trip in Colorado. One drowned fishing when his boat capsized.

And one got bitten by a rabid raccoon that got into a grocery store and cornered her out of twenty-one other people available.

“She was highly creative but lethal, and nothing could be pinned on her. No one thought witch until years later when the bus crash happened. Then it was stupid, but that’s Denton folks for you. They’re about as bright as a turned off lightbulb. They ganged up on her, restrained her, declared her a witch at a mock trial, and burned her.

“I think that was stupid, but again, no one asked me or my opinion. She’s still kicking up dust, isn’t she?”

Robin hugged her arms and leaned back against Rachel. “Yes, she is, and it’s up to me to find a way to stop her and her harmful antics.”

Diane’s cane tapped the floor and pointed toward her. “That’s going to take a lot of love. Do you think you have it in you?”

“I hope so. I keep praying for 100,000 angels with a love bomb each and a huge metal basket for her safe departure to where she needs to be.”

Diane’s voice was shrill and cracked when she spoke after laughing. “That sounds like a fine combo.”

Then she turned to Rachel.

“What about you, dear? Are you going to abandon her?”

“No way, ma’am. I’ve been at odds with that a couple of times since I got here. I think it’s coming from Cherie, so I’ve cast my lot to be Robin’s partner and helpmate

until she no longer needs or wants me. I think that’s sufficient to cause Cherie some level of heartburn.”

“You’re right about that. Just stick with her, and you’ll be more than fine in the mix of life. I wish I were younger, healthier, and had the strength to join you two in your fight. As it is, I’ll cheer you from here and pray for your success. God bless you, two girls.”

*

The two tired women returned to Clarence’s compound and sat on the repaired swing, holding hands without talking, and again Rachel broke the wall down.

“Robin, I admire all that you’ve done so far. However, I’m curious how you will get Cherie to stop coming back and hurting people around her. Also, I’ve thought of many hundred ways to restore Roxana’s uterus, and I draw a blank and file every method in the isn’t going to happen locker.”

Robin grinned and traced a finger around her eyes and down her nose and cheeks and squeezed her earlobes hard enough to get a gasp.

“Are you saying you don’t have any faith in me?”

“My mommy side has massive faith in you. The science mom says womb transplants are a no-go. And you have no clue where her womb is right now. And it’s been gone too long. And even if it were handy and on ice, the best method I see working uses steel pins and a cable blanket to hold it in place. And that would give her a rather monster tone that would scare most anyone. Some guy would get her undressed and then run screaming for his momma, his buddies, or the police.”

Robin laughed and hugged her close. “You’re thinking overtime, aren’t you? That’s cute. I could see me as a woman Frankenstein, seducing women and doing all kinds of transplants until I got one to work.”

She laughed again and rubbed her forehead against hers.

“Hey, sugar, keep your mommy side working and watch me. Reflect a moment on Roxana. Does she strike you as the kind of woman who is sexually active, dating men, looking for a husband to settle with and raise a family?”

“In my opinion, she looks like a flat tire. She’s a woman, but part of her is missing, and she’s stuck on the hide-in-the-corner game of her own creation. No one can see she’s lived without a uterus for quite a few years. No man having sex with her would know it was missing. Only she knows that.”

“Right on, and that fact, the one that tells her she can’t have a baby, is what keeps her tire flat on the bottom. So, when I get to her in my plan, I’ll start her on a regimen of dating men, having sex with them so that she can become pregnant in pretty much a hurry when her womb returns. It’ll go like a female NASCAR Driver making a pit stop, and while the necessary service is performed on her car, some virile dude will service her body, and before she’s back in the race again, she’s pregnant.”

“It will happen to Roxana that fast?”

“Yep. I guarantee it. However, since it’s me doing it, and I’m an ex-government employee, it will have to be close enough for government work. I mean, it won’t be spot-on like I was working for Bank of America, which would be wonderful. But it might take two or three times to get it right.”

Rachel frowned and thought hard of mechanics and timing and positions. “Nah. I’m not buying that.”

Robin feigned hurt. “You doubt me? You had better stop that. I’m practicing with Roxana to get it right. Then I’ll use it on you the next time.”

“I’ve had two babies, and that’s enough.”

“I can see it now. You’re squatting down, picking a booger from Sue’s nose, licking your thumb to clear a smudge of dirt from Frank’s chin, and wham! Your stomach jerks.

And you’ll come up hopping mad, and people for ten miles around will hear you yelling at me. Then you’ll throw everything at me that’s not nailed down, maybe even the kids.

However, by then, it’s too late. So go ahead and throw a tantrum; you’re pregnant already.”

Rachel turned red and whirled. “I was going to tell you to leave, but I’ll do it instead!

Later!”

Robin laughed and sat down on the porch steps to keep from falling. “That girl’s too easy to rile but wonderful to make laugh. I hope she adjusts to my sense of humor soon.

Long-distance impregnation? Come on, girlfriend. It’s cool in theory but impossible in practice. My method will require up-front and very personal contact and detailed cooperation. However, by the time I approach her with it, she’ll be primed and do a triple back-flip and ask when. She’ll beg me to knock her up. Of course, you won’t, but that’s quite okay.”

“It is? Have lesbians learned how to do that?”

Robin yelped and grabbed her chest. “My lands, grandfather! You scared me!”

“So, Rachel won’t ask you to get her pregnant?”

“Never mind about that. It’s complicated, and thinking it through and talking about it hurts my brain.”

“Well, don’t tell me about it then. I can wait a few years for that news anyway.”

“I’m sure you can.”

“Thanks for arranging the trees to be cut and removed. I got quite a stash of firewood lay in for winter now.”

“Do the winters get rough here?”

“It all depends on her mood at the time. They can go from jacket weather and little snow to freezing cold and ass-deep snowdrifts to make life miserable. On the other hand, if you settle her before then, we might have a regular season where we have a bit of all that.”

“Then we’ll work toward that goal. Normal is desirable.”

“Have you come up with anything solid yet? Any plans at all?”

“I’m still working on some of them. Mainly I’m gathering information. Today, I learned a great deal about her being bullied and what happened when she hit her breaking point and retaliated versus killing herself. That was interesting and non-typical action. And for her to do all that, she had to have assistance. I’ve encountered one while I was in Seaford getting put on Admin Leave. I don’t particularly like him, or it, but I’ll do what’s necessary, to a point. Picking up her habits wouldn’t benefit either of us.”

He wiped his brow and sighed. “That’s wonderful news to hear, girl. That had me worried.”

“Did you know about her being bullied?”

“I did, but she never let on that it bothered her. She had a very tough constitution. I watched and listened to them die in freak accidents, and I suspected something, but she

was my future, my love, so I tuned out the bad and saw the good in her. I knew how far I could go to interfere with her plans, and when I got close to it, I shut up and left her alone.”

“It sounds like you’ve learned a thing or two over the years.”

“Yes. I’ve hashed and rehashed many things to nearly get sick, and nothing changed.”

He rubbed his neck and sat beside her in the swing.

“I guess the biggest mistake was to take her at face value. Whatever she said, I believed and questioned little. She said she loved me and wanted to stay with me always.

I believed it. Now I think it’s a twisted kind of possessive love. It was one way. I was like a fine piece of art that she adored. However, she was beautiful, attractive, and sexy. I couldn’t get enough of her, so how much should I have argued and fought her? I don’t know anymore.”

“What about when she was exposed, captured, and burned? Were you to show your love for her by defending her, stopping the Denton Mob, or calling on external authorities to out-weigh the locals?”

“I thought of that, and I also thought that I should have fought them to the point that I went with her. But now, who knows?”

“Well, don’t fret over it too much. What’s in the past can’t be changed, and you’ve got two granddaughters who love you. So just let it go.”

*

Robin left him and found Rachel sitting on the back porch, staring at the charred post.

She blew across her ear and put an arm around her waist.

“That was a fairy dollar dropped in the slot. Now you must answer questions. What are you thinking?”

“I’m thinking how much pain she experienced in life. Being bullied all the years.

Selling her soul. Being attacked and burned to death for doing something un-Witchy.

Some of it doesn’t seem fair at all. Then this damned obnoxious green dog keeps skulking in the shadows. I’d like to kick his ass back into hell. He stinks from 200 feet away.”

Robin’s eyes snapped to the forest at the edge of the clearing, looking into the shadows and seeing nothing.

“Is he here now?”

“He came three times since I sat on the steps, but he’s gone now. Why can’t we have chairs back here? Anyway, he comes, drools all around, and then pees on the post. I yelled at him to go away, and he said he was marking his territory. She belongs to him. I told him to go the fuck away, and he told me to be brave and lay beside the post, and he would piss on me too. I told him he didn’t have the balls to do that, and I would kick his smelly ass back to hell for even mentioning it, but when I stood, he disappeared and hasn’t been back.”

Robin rubbed her back and kissed her cheek. “Wow, girlfriend! You told him that?”

“Yes, and I meant it. Things that don’t belong when and where they appear really make me angry. You can joke with me all you like, but don’t try no anachronism poop on me, or I’ll hurt you.”

“Anachronism? Something out of place and time? Got it, fairy princess! Marvelous!

That was a good fairy dollar invested! I love it!”

Rachel twisted to view her. “Then I’m happy for you. I was set to do what I told him before he disappeared. This sidekick of yours doesn’t take no guff, and she’s no wuss, even if she does pee without notice during high fear situations.”

“I couldn’t ask for anything better.”

“I never thought to ask, what are you getting out of this messed-up affair once it’s straight?”

“If I’m the winner, I’ll receive an Atta Girl, a year’s supply of lipstick, two boxes of panty wash, a year’s free subscription to Elle Magazine, and one neat girlfriend.”

“In other words, all the satisfaction and praise you can heap on yourself. That’s cool, though. You forgot an unexpected reunion with an almost grandfather. You can forget everything except for the girl and the grandfather.”

“What other things?”

“That’s what I mean, joker.”

“Oh, and I forgot the year of free toe kissing from my girlfriend’s sister.”

“Which I’ll guarantee, with or without trying. So, what do we do next? Give me something to do, partner.”

“Well, Clarence said he would start dinner in about an hour. So, for the moment, I’ll sit where I am. You sit behind me with your legs wrapped around me and your hands on my shoulders. Then you call your green, nasty buddy back so I can talk with him. That’s the start, and we’ll play it spontaneously from that point onward.”

Rachel moved into position. “I love this sidekick assignment. Must we call him back? Can’t you find a way without him, or could we just fake it?”

“Don’t worry, girlfriend. You’re safe here as you were with the falcons, the knight, and the T-Rexes. Just worry about me. I’m allergic to urine before eight o’clock at night, so hold it.”

“Cute, smartass.”

“I know. Yo! Jaded Willow! Where are you? Why are you hiding and skulking? Carry your tired, smelly ass back to this world and prepare for a conversation with me, Robin Kirby. Come on! Stop dragging your heels and gnawing your own tail! I won’t wait all day, and you’d better not make me come and fetch you!”

He appeared beside the post with a bang, a loud growl, cocked a leg, and urinated on it. “Oh, that felt so grand! Your turn, Rachel. Let it go. You have a nice commode handy, so go ahead and give her a golden shower now! It will make you feel so good.”

Robin shook her head. “Pathetic! If you’re going to be a comedian, you’d better take some fun lessons because you’re not.”

“Whine! Whine! Whine! Go back to Seaford and be another nobody.”

“I will, thanks. However, instead of nobody, I’ll be somebody. I’ll be a for-real queen, and people will come from miles around to kiss my feet and get a Selfie Shot with me. But for you, you’ll have to bring $10,000 in certified gold bullion to do the same and another $5000 for a photo session.”

“No way! I won’t do that now, and I never will! So just leave while I’m being kind!”

“Oh, I love those lies. You’re never pleasant, and you’re never truthful unless it’s with me. Is that why you hate me so much?”

“Go!”

“Why did you do all that for Cherie Waterman? I know you helped her, but why?”

“Go! Go while you still can!”

“Ah, good. Keep up the anger, dude. It lets truths flow and increases your pain. You helped her a lot. Was she your witch bitch? Ha! That’s it, isn’t it? You would never have done what you did without that sexual reward. Oh, my! She was your main squeeze there, and Clarence was the one who had her here. Do you hate him also?”

“I hate YOU!”

“Too bad for you. I need some help, and I think you’re the best candidate for the job.”

“Never! Stop talking! You can’t make those demands! Only she can do that, and you’ll never reach her level. I’ll kill you first.”

“You’ll not kill me at all. That doesn’t lie within your line of authority. And Cherie will never approve it anyway.”

She removed Rachel’s legs and stood defiantly. “Oh, you think you will, huh? Well, you just try it. Go ahead. There is nowhere on, above, or below the earth; you can hide from me. You won’t be safe, even in the Netherworld! And no, I won’t kill you. I’ll keep you in excruciating pain for hundreds of millions of years. I’ve learned how to do that from her Tomes, so just try me! Please try me!”

“This is ridiculous! I’m leaving now. Cherie is horny, and she needs me.”

“You’re going nowhere until your work is finished with me!”

“I’m not helping you!”

“The people of Denton have suffered enough from her mistakes and your assistance.

You will cease that IMMEDIATELY!”

“Only she can command that!”

“It’s not my problem. It’s yours, and I’d recommend you find her, cringe, slobber before her, and clear yourself. Otherwise, you will do it yourself, and you WILL obey me.

This interview is over, and you’re hired, and you will start to work as of now!”

He growled and howled and increased to three times his size and charged toward her.

“Girlfriend, do you have a safety pin on you? Please be a good Girl Scout.”

“Mommy always has those around for life’s little emergencies.” She unfastened one from the bottom of her blouse hem and laid it in the waiting hand.

“I want to go on record and say I love you. You’re awesome.”

“You’ve not seen awesome yet. Sit tight now.”

She opened it, bent it nearly straight, and held it between the closed fingers of her right hand. Then, she stepped forward and clasped her hands behind her back.

“Come on, unruly employee. Hit me with your most potent piss-ant endeavor. When you do, I’ll pop you and watch you fizzle and sail around the clearing here, bouncing off trees and anything else, farting like you just ate a 100-acre field of beans. And when you lie on the ground looking like an empty bladder, I’ll light you on fire.”

“Impossible!”

“Very possible. Demons burn the same as witches, except they shriek louder and longer. Come on, big boy. Put me in my girlish place, doggie style and vulnerable.”

Too late, he realized what she meant to do, tried desperately to stop, but failed and could only achieve a hard turn to her right. He howled in pain when the safety pin pierced him and dragged along his underbelly. He expended more tremendous efforts to stop, but he hit the cabin wall beside the back door, bounced back, rolled head over ass

around to hit the post, and jar its foundation loose. He groaned, and his tongue slipped out and lay in the dust as his sight dimmed and he felt near death.

Robin was at his side before he could think or react with the pin pulled back and ready. She struck him again behind his right shoulder and reeled from the blood-curdling screech.

“You evil, nasty bitch!”

Again, he leaped into the air and deflated farther as he fell on a collision course with her hand and the damned pin.

“Please! No more!” he pleaded as the pin stuck in his throat and her hand deftly flipped his body farther from the house toward the tree line and far away from Rachel.

He looked like a wet Chihuahua, trembling from the cold and in mortal fear of the heinous monster who still held the damned mommy pin that hurt him bad.

“I’m sorry. I’m sorry! I’m such a loser ass hole! I’ll try to be more reasonable from now on, boss lady. Please stop. I won’t touch her, and I’ll stop running my mouth unless it’s a positive response to something you’ve asked or a job you’ve assigned. Please? Have mercy! I can’t take any smaller. As it is, I’ll be ridiculed and teased for eons by all known demons in the Netherworld!”

“That’s an acceptable surrender.” She stood and slipped the safety pin into the waist of her skirt.

“I’ll see her right away and turn in my resignation letter. I’ll work for you now, no matter how much it hurts me, and this small prelude tells me I’ll suffer great and long before I’m free of your dictatorship.”

“Another acceptable surrender. Welcome to my toolbox, Jaded Willow.”

He groaned in humiliation and disappeared.

Rachel hurried and hugged her. “Damn, woman! I love you. That was amazing!”

“Yeah. I liked it too because I didn’t have to change any diapers this time. You must be getting used to it.”

“I am but excuse me. I’ve picked out the bush, and I’m going to make a nature donation now.”

Robin chuckled as Clarence approached her.

“That was awesome, Robin. I’m happy you’re figuring things out and swiftly. That demon is good, but she let him go on his own too often. He'll work much better for you if you hold him to the task and don’t tolerate his gaff like you just did.”

She winked and kissed his cheek. “Thanks, grandfather. Uh,”

The tomes are on the kitchen table. I’m ahead of you for once.” He cast her a sideways glance but said no more.

“What? Let it out. You’ll feel better.”

“Are you going to, or do you plan to restore Roxana’s uterus? Cherie was the best around, but I don’t think that even she could do that.”

“She removed it, so why not put it back?”

He frowned and rubbed his chin. “Cherie did that?”

“Roxana told me about the pre-Halloween night where it happened, and Jeremy died, and Robert disappeared.”

“Oh, yes, I remember that, but still, restore a womb?”

She laughed and patted his arms. “Don’t worry about it for now. That’s a popular question posed to me many times. It’s quite simple once you find out. I’ll explain it later.

For now, I’m tired, and I need some sound resting time to let my body heal. As soon as Rachel catches up with me, I’m going to bed.”

*

The next day began with sunshine and a gentle breeze. The resident and guests at the Lowbottom House decided to dine outside on the front porch. Afterward, Robin and Rachel visited Cherie’s grave once more.

“Hello, great-grandmother. I’m back. Whether wanted or not, I’m the proverbial bad penny that keeps popping up. I just wanted to tell you that I loved you and enjoyed learning about your life. Yesterday, I learned about you being bullied in school. That’s reprehensible, and I don’t condone it. I’m sorry that it happened to you, but I discovered that you overcame it and severely retaliated against the bullies. Then, without being aware of it, you became a bully yourself. It’s not right for you to do that.

“I hope you understand what I’m going to do. It’s time for you to grow up. I know it might be difficult since you’re already dead, but you will do that and stop bullying the world and people who had no part in discriminating against you. You’ve hurt many people with your silly revengeful countenance, even me, who didn’t know you ever existed. So just stop it and rest in peace, as much as it’s possible for you. You’ve chosen your destructive path, and I’ve chosen my own path of effervescent love.

“Thanks for transferring Jade Willow to me to use. I will use him on rare occasions until I’m finished here in Denton. I will stop or lessen the destruction of the remaining tornados and the hurricane. I must do that to stop the anger against you and me. Your reign as the Punisher Bully is ending, and my reign as the Healer Cupid is beginning.

Please pay attention to me so you won’t get hurt anymore.”

The air remained warm, but a surreal quietness surrounded them. A grasshopper, a dragonfly, a praying mantis, and a wren buzzed them and landed facing them on top of the fresh bouquet of weeds.

“You’re welcome, great-grandmother.”

Robin saluted the display and blew a kiss to the tombstone.

*

If the tornados and the hurricane went unchecked, Denton, Maryland, may have been uninhabitable for a decade or more. Weakening them and stopping their intentional destruction wore out Robin and Rachel. A two-day respite in Seaford restored their physical and emotional well-being, and they prepared to return to Denton.

“You know, at one time in my life, I’d have hated this and dragged my lead feet for months to avoid it. Now I look forward to it.”

“Does the final act of your puzzle have something to do with that?”

She cast Rachel a naughty gaze. “Perhaps.”

“When do you let me in on your secret plan?”

“When you decide to have another child for us.”

“Well, goodbye, Robin. My lawyers will be in touch.”

A hand went into the air. “Talk to the hand. You’ll be with me when I discuss with Roxanna how to rectify her womb. Then you’ll shake your head and think I’m the

nuttiest person in the world, and you might be right this time. However, I’m a government employee, and we have a saying, ‘Close enough is okay for Government work.’ Relax. The time is growing near to do that so I can open the money doors. Are you going to leave me then?”

“Hey, I’ll hang around with you with or without the money. You make life interesting. I just want my babies to be with me also.”

“That’s a given, honey. How are they?”

“Charlene’s heart is melting, and it’s even begun a small heatwave in mom and dad.”

“Good deal. It will take a sun full of love to melt the resistance and balking at what I’m brewing up, but it will happen, or else I’ll go back to Seaford and live my life in shame and disgrace.”

CHAPTER ?????:

Robin rose early and kissed Rachel’s shoulder as she gathered her clothes and slipped out of the door to dress in the living room. The walk to the car was delightful in bare feet and sandals hooked on her fingers. She enjoyed the damp, dew-laden grass and used paper towels to dry her feet before putting on the sandals and driving away.

She stopped in the empty visitor's parking lot at the Wilson Retirement Center and walked up the steps to the office. It surprised her to find the door unlocked. She closed it behind her and halted at the chilling atmosphere.

“May I help you?” asked the morning security guard. “We’re not open for visitors yet.” “I didn’t figure you were, but I need to speak to one of your guests, a Diane Hart. I can wait for her until it’s time.”

He scrutinized her and pressed a button on the desk beside him. “You’re that Kirby Girl who’s been stirring up trouble around Denton, aren’t you?”

“I’m Robin Kirby, but I’m causing no trouble.”

“Don’t give me that lying hoopla! Anywhere a Kirby goes, bad news follows them.

Why don’t you go back to Delaware and stay lost there?”

“Look, I’m not here to cause anyone trouble. So why does everyone have to criticize me and determine I’m bad without knowing me?”

“You’re the great-granddaughter of Cherie Waterman, aren’t you?”

“Yes, but what does that have to do with me? She’s dead, and I’m alive.”

“Is she dead? Witch’s curses never die with them. You’re here, and now the hatred she felt for Denton residents is coming back to life and hurting people who want to be left alone!”

“Oh, bullshit! Curses don’t work unless some dumb and uneducated people are around to believe it. If that’s the case, you and 1980 other residents of Denton are keeping it alive and passing your stupidity on to the next generation. Give me a break!

I’ll be glad to get it done and let this hick town disappear into the history book as roads are built all around it so no one can even find it by accident!”

He started to dispute the statement when the doors opened to the common greeting and meeting area and a woman in a white nurse uniform entered.

“What’s wrong? Why all the shouting out here?” she asked.

“This man is sitting here being stupid and saying I’m the reason for all the problems in Denton because Cherie Waterman was my great-grandmother. That ignorance is my

problem and the reason for the loud responses! Narrow-minded people like him upset me!” “I know who you are, Miss Kirby. Why are you here now? Can’t you read the posted sign with visiting hours listed on the door?”

“Yes, I can read the sign! And since it’s nine whole agonizing minutes until it begins, I’ll wait in my car! Heaven forbid that I encounter a human who is educated and willing and capable of thinking independently in this alien country town! I hope you all stay and die here. The rest of the world is not ready for your idiocy yet!”

“You don’t have to be so snotty and demeaning, Miss Kirby.”

“And you don’t have to be stupid and say I’m causing problems, but you do! I’m here to solve problems, and most of them do not concern you whatsoever! It’s not my fault that many people in this isolated place want to jump into pointing fingers and make me the scapegoat for the problems you and your ancestors created! Your ancestors did that, not mine! I came here in kindness, and all I get is belligerent responses and accusations from people who don’t know me! Stop it!”

“Okay, Miss Kirby. Who are you here to see?”

“Diane Hart. I spoke with her yesterday, and she asked me to return if I needed more information or help.”

The nurse’s face registered surrender. “I should have known that. We can’t keep her in bed for any reason this morning. Go on inside the greeting room. She’s there at a table, one hour early for breakfast. Go on.”

She opened the door for her and waved her inside.

*

Diane sat at a round dining table, waiting patiently.

“Good morning, Robin. I’m so happy to have you as a visitor again. Come on. Sit with me. What can I do for you today?”

“Trip as many staff personnel as you can get away with. That’s a good place to start.”

She gave a muted response and nodded. “Aren’t you happy that you don’t carry a weapon?”

“You got it, Diane. I’d be charged with so many murders; it would be ridiculous if I did. When I stopped, the population sign would read about ten.”

“I hope I’m one of the ten. I’d rather go peacefully in my sleep.”

“You’re safe.”

“You’re not. I had several dreams last night and this morning about a pregnancy. At my age, that’s either a blessing or a boon. I don’t know which I prefer. Are you here to give me the answer?”

“If I can, I will. That’s one of the biggest and most challenging tasks I must perform.

However, I have a rough plan, and I want to run it through your brilliant mind. Since you know all the players involved, I figure you’re the best person in Denton to do that.

What do you say?”

She put on a great smile and rubbed her wrinkled hands together. “I say tell me.

Don’t make me take up my cane to you. You won’t like it.”

*

Rachel spent the remainder of the day observing her quiet superhero and waiting for her composure to break and start any conversation. She had watched Roger act the same when there was something important that needed discussing, but fear of the results if misunderstood caused lockjaw for hours or sometimes days.

Clarence watched both until he had to say something, anything.

“Rachel, what is up with the two of you. She’s pacing. You’re watching. Neither of you is talking. What derailed the train?”

“Nothing major, grandfather. To me, it’s minor. To Robin, it’s a mountain prepared to bury her. She has a wild plan to tackle Roxanna’s womb, and she needs some external help from Shayne, and she’s worried about any level of contact with him interfering with me, with us.”

“Ah, the woman’s about to cheat, and it worries her. Good for her. Should she be worried?”

“No way. I’ve told and showed her I care; I love her, I want to stay with her. It’s not like it was with Roger. The commitment doesn’t carry the same weight. We’re together for a different reason, not from a long-term loving relationship.”

She sighed and stood when the swing moved forward. “I guess I’ll have to tell her again.”

“If she stops pacing long enough.”

“Oh, she will. She’s about to fall down, and I’ll be there for her.”

“Do you know her that well to know she’ll fall?”

“Yes, and since I know her and set the stage to trip her, I can guarantee it.”

“Rachel, I love you. It’s been rewarding to know you.”

“Good. Enjoy me for the time you have left. That’s worrying her too. That which was lost is found, and she’s reluctant to let go so soon.”

“She’ll get over it.”

“I know she will. Let me go now.”

She walked to sit beside a bush close to Robin’s path. She waited idly, holding the end of a grapevine in her hand until Robin was in position and jerked the vine up to catch and tangle in her feet.

Robin hit the ground with a grunt and moved to her knees.

“What the hell? What happened? Nothing was there before to bother me.”

“Aww, did poor little superhero fall down and go boom? Oh my! Oh, dear! Do your hands stingy wingy? Crawl over here and let me kiss the boo-boo.”

Robin’s eyes found her in the bushes. “You? I might have known it would be you!

Why are you bothering me?”

“Because that’s my responsibility. It’s part of my job description. Paragraph 34a, subparagraph eek. When Robin is hung up over a dilemma that isn’t a dilemma, trip her, so she falls and suffers a humiliating boo-boo. Then kiss it and make it better. Come on.”

“How can you be so calm about what I’m going to do? Is everything about you invalid? Is there nothing in your job description about that? Come on. This is killing me!”

“You’re killing yourself, sweetie. You’re causing yourself more boo-boos than the law allows. Since you told me the plan that Diane approved and thought was wild and groovy, I’ve thought about it, and I’ve joined you in wanting to see it happen. Like Diane, I can see mouths drop open, fingers point, and whispered rumors fly like

confetti; when it happens, and people won’t hate you, they feel sorry for insane people who think they could get away with it. Come on, sweetie. Open. Let the truth set you free. Come on.”

“Doesn’t that bother you?”

She smiled and gave a thumb up. ‘Yes, it does. I almost had a heart attack when you said yes to kissing you. I couldn’t for the life of me understand why you would. However, you did, and we both liked it. Then I asked for more, and WHAM! I was in a state of shock like you wouldn’t believe.

“Wow! You asked me to go with you in this battle, and over the last weeks, I’ve grown accustomed to your presence in my life and wonderfully comfortable with the sex.

You rock, girlfriend! And no, I don’t 100% like what you’re going to do, but I know why you will. Shayne has the facility to help you with your plan. I don’t. And since I’m not equipped for it, I’m here for our pleasure, not procreation. I also know that you’re out of luck without doing that tonight. No other man in Denton will give you yesterday’s last breath, but he will. He’s had you once, and he’s dying to have you again. So, suck up your sense of loss that won’t happen, turn your panty hamster loose, and have fun. You need it. Without that second time, he won’t help you. Afterward, he will do whatever you want, even if it’s something crazy, like robbing a bank. No problem, honey, consider it done.”

“Panty hamster? That’s a good one. I like it better than coochie. That sounds like bugs or something. Okay. Thanks, girlfriend, sidekick. Maybe I’ve become too attached to you, maybe more than I thought possible.”

“I know, but I’m glad it’s me instead of Ariel. You did with one phone call what I failed miserably to do in eight years. You got my children in Charlene’s life, and it’s spreading out to capture mom and dad. Wow, superstar. Go do what you must do, and I’ll let it pass with no more comment. I wish I could be there when you lay it on him, after laying it on him.

“You’re terrible, sidekick.”

“And you’re so cute in loving me. So don’t worry, we’ll be okay in the mix of life.”

*

Shayne felt great after learning some extra carnal knowledge with Robin. He lay languid beside her but within touching reach and trailed his fingers over her skin.

“Robin, you are one fine woman. I don’t care if you got here to Denton by accident, by design, or by being evicted from Seaford, Delaware.”

“So am I, darling. I fought it for so long I thought I won until Ariel won a room and money here and bugged me until I went with her. Now, here I am, enjoying the last bachelor in Denton, Maryland. Lucky me.”

“Me also.”

“Did you date any women before I got here?”

“I never met anyone worthwhile.”

“Get out. What about Roxana Perkins? She’s single and available.”

“Uh, no thanks. She has too many problems and needs a strong man to help her.”

“Oh, so you’re telling me she needs Shayne Wolf. Why didn’t you date her?”

“For real? Well, I don’t find her that attractive, and I also hear she’s frigid.”

“No way.”

“Yes, there is a way, sweet thing. I recall she; her brother and a friend went into the cemetery on Halloween night, and only she made it out alive if you want to call her that.

Her brother disappeared. The man with them was killed after raping her on a grave. It was all a gross mess.”

“Mercy!”

“Yes. Mercy. That’s what I say to your suggestion to date her. She has more problems than there are mathematicians in the world to count them.”

She laughed and snuggled against him. “You crack me up, thinking all backward. A real man would tell me this way.”

She cleared her throat and deepened her voice. “And let me tell you what, Clyde.

That Roxana is a Mother Goose of a sex maniac in them faded jeans and plaid flannel shirts. She hadn’t been laid in over nine years, and when I got to massage her panty hamster, she came alive and raped me every night for twenty-seven and a half days!

Wow, what a woman! She had me in positions I never thought possible, but she did. If a man could get a woman pregnant while she’s still pregnant, I’d have nineteen kids on the way.”

“And Clyde would say, ‘In other words, she’s ugly.’ And you’d say, ‘Clyde, my buddy, I found her in the dark, laid her in the dark, and neither of us will ever care what you think.’”

“You crack me up, Robin. Stop for now. Wow, what an imagination.”

“It’s not that far from the truth, Shayne. I’m serious. She’d treat you like a queen would her king if you ever got next to her. Nine years is a long time to be rejected and ignored when everything but one works normally. Her missing womb does not affect anything else.”

He lay quiet a moment. “You mean she can still have sex? I thought, well, I was told, something ripped that part out. But, you know, she has no vagina.”

“What? Man, I’m glad I’m not a man. She’s got a vagina. She has no uterus. She wants to get pregnant, and even without a uterus, she can still do that. Do you want to help her? She will rape you when you get close to her. The how to do it will return in about ten seconds, and you’ll be a good ten pounds lighter when you do get away from her.”

He laughed and flipped a nipple. “Hey, that was a serious face there. It sounded like you really wanted me to date her.”

“It was serious. I would love to see you date her. I’d love to see her feeling like a worthwhile woman again. But unfortunately, that night of what should have been fun turned into a nightmare that still crushes her. She needs a man to pull her out of that shell. A man like Shayne Wolf could do that.”

“You say she wants to get pregnant. How can she do that without a uterus? That’s an essential organ for birthing.”

“All things in creation can be recreated or recycled or reused. So, if you date her a few times, work your Shayne lupine magic on her; I guarantee you will get her pregnant.

And when she tests positive, you got a love slave for the remainder of your life.”

He sat up, turned on the bed, and stared at her crossly in the semi-darkness. “Robin, you are one wild ass woman to ever think of something like that.”

“I know, but the money started me, and since she was so bitchy when I first met her, I wanted to know why. Now I know. Now I have her solution to womanhood, right here in my hand.”

She moved her hand and found her target while studying his eyes.

“Do you want me again?” she asked.

“Of course. Once is never enough.”

“Then get busy with Roxana Perkins, and you can experience my sexuality again.

Maybe a couple of times. I’m not going anywhere anytime soon.”

“Good deal. I’ll leave now and knock up Roxana before morning.”

“No deal. You stay right where you are unless it’s a bathroom break. Then, you show me how you’re going to do her, step by step, so I can grade you.”

*

Shayne had no problem finding his clothing when he dragged his tired body from the bed in Room 501 in the Denton Hotel. However, he remained in shock when Robin kissed him goodbye at the door, and he departed by himself. After buying a cup of coffee from a breakfast vendor, he sat on the boardwalk for half an hour before deciding. He chose to follow through on his wild promises to Robin Kirby, currently the most desirable and crazy woman in Denton, Maryland.

He called Walter and said he was sick and took a day off. He sat in his car, looking both ways on the street that had not moved since it was built, trying to firm his mind.

“What did that wild sexy, and too intelligent woman say?”

“You want to help abused women. Roxana has been abused and lived without help, but with a lot of ridicule and shunning for nine years. You can start with her. You want to build a food kitchen to feed the homeless. Many of Roxana’s children have never been born because they have no home. They will appreciate being born Shayne. End her abuse with tender love and sex. Enshrine her in your loving home. The eggs will come from her, the sperm from you, and I’ll provide the surrogate womb for her children to grow and be born. We’ll make a crack team, Shayne Wolf, and I don’t mean the illegal drug. So go forth, with faith, Lupine, and stir up some native and lonely hormones.”

“Great. The condensed version is, she has you by the balls, and you’re screwed either way. Might as well make it a double bagger.”

He turned left and headed for the Denton Cemetery Office.

*

Robin left the hotel, drove to the back of the cemetery, and walked whistling to Clarence’s house and Rachel waiting on the porch.

“Man, you look good. But you also look tired and worn out. Like you’re about on your last step before the rest of your energy leaves you, and you fall on your face.”

“I love you too, Rachel. Good morning.”

“Back at you, love. Sit down before you fall, and I’ll fetch a cup of Grandfather’s

‘can’t sleep from fear’ coffee. That will work for you.”

“Thanks. You do that. Where is he this morning?”

“He woke energized and went to cut some grass in the cemetery. He said he needed some exercise.”

“Good for him.”

“Did you meet with any success other than having a lot of fun?”

“I did, sweetheart. Unless my reading people are wrong, he’s in the office right about now, noticing Roxana for the first time in years, and he’ll have a date lined up before he leaves. I wish I had a camera there to see how he does it, but I’ll just have to have faith in him.”

“Like he had faith in you and some of his body parts last night, hmm?”

“Bring the coffee. I’m ready to wake up. I’m not ready for that discussion yet.”

Rachel returned, and Roxana called her at the same time.

“Robin, you won’t believe what just happened! I was the only one here, darn the luck, and Shayne Wolf came by asking for information on a plot. He said he wanted to plan for his children. I told him he had none. He looked at me all weirdly and said he knew because they all waited in my belly to be born. I was astonished! Then he asked me for a date, and I didn’t want to do it, but he got my weakness. So, I’m going with him to the high school football game on Friday. Do I sound excited? Do I sound like a teenager?

I’m old enough to be his mother, and I’m going on a date with him? Do I need my head examined? I’m too old for him!”

“Hey, Roxana. Take a breath, honey. Wow! That’s the reason for excitement but breathe every now and then. And don’t worry about being too old for him. You’re not that old, and he’s not that young. And if people bother you, move to Seaford, Delaware.

Several older women marry younger men, and wow, they have fun. That’s fantastic news! I’m so happy for you, Roxana. I’ll come by later today and see you in person. Yes, you can have me as a girlfriend. Yes. Bye.”

She disconnected, lay the phone in Rachel’s lap, and took the perfect coffee. She sniffed it, smiled luxuriously, and sipped it. “Perfect. And we have a perfect second step complete. Roxana has a date for Friday night. So now comes the most difficult part of my offer of love and a trip to Baltimore Fertilization Clinic.”

Rachel rubbed her back and told her not to spill the coffee. She laughed as she gripped her bra clasp, stretched it, and let it go to slap against her skin. She watched and coaxed the hand that held the hot liquid jerk and dance, but it maintained perfect balance and never spilled as it had in the past.

“Excellent, child. I’m getting better, you’re getting better, and you’ll have no problem with the next phase of ending Roxana’s punishment. The full moon is two days away, on Friday night, on Roxana’s first date in years. Are you ready?”

“Ready and fidgeting like my butt’s wedged in an anthill. You want to go with me when I visit her?”

“Yes, to visiting both of our women, the live one and the dead one who still thinks she’s alive.”

“Thanks, sweetie.”

“Mom called me today.”

“Whoa! I hope that’s a good sign.”

“It was. She asked about how I was doing and made some pleasant conversation.

Then she asked if I really kissed your feet on the first day of every month or was that a rumor. I told her yes. Then she asked about you and how we were doing together. I told her fine and then had to stop because of crying. Damn, you’re awesome without even trying. Then I said goodbye to grandfather just in case it doesn’t end like we want it to end.”

“That was good, sweetie. I think things will work out well. We’ll both go forth in faith and shake up the world. Would the world expect less from a Kirby Girl?”