21
Just the Thing for a Soft Landing
“The conductor mast is fully extended.” Madame Voltaria’s eyes flashed orange as she turned to the Professor. “Everything is proceeding to plan, Master.”
“Then we are ready for the experiment to being,” said Professor Schrunkopf, still wired up in his metal chair. “What are the current atmospheric readings?”
Voltaria glided to another computer, where a countdown was displayed on a screen. “Storm conditions reaching optimum levels in sixty seconds, Master.”
“Sixty seconds!” The Professor clenched his fists. “I am a mere sixty seconds from the biggest breakthrough in scientific history, sixty seconds from becoming the most intelligent being in the known universe!”
Still crouched behind a workbench, Bryony watched Stubby crawl into position next to the Emergency Abort switch.
So far, so good. But Bryony needed to create a distraction once the experiment was underway, and she still hadn’t worked out how.
Bryony found herself wishing that Edwin were with her. He was clever, he paid attention at school, he’d know what to do. But all Bryony could do was watch as Madame Voltaria glided across the laboratory to another computer.
“Fifty seconds,” announced the Invigilator, her orange gaze locked on the countdown screen. “Forty nine, forty eight…”
“My moment of triumph is near.” Professor Schrunkopf laughed hysterically. “The experiment cannot fail. Lightning shall strike the conductor any second.”
The Professor’s laughter was masked by a mighty boom of thunder.
The thunder faded, and Bryony froze as she heard another sound echo through the laboratory.
“What is that noise?” Madame Voltaria glided to the base of the giant needle. “It seems to be coming from the conductor mast.”
“It is probably just the wind,” said Professor Schrunkopf.
“It does not sound like wind.” Madame Voltaria peered up the metal mast. “It sounds more like screaming.”
Bryony listened, and realised Madame Voltaria was right. But it wasn’t just one scream, but two.
Two screaming voices. And the screams were getting louder.
Then something fell through the hole in the ceiling, something with two pairs of arms and legs, that slid down the mast to land in a heap on the laboratory floor.
Madame Voltaria shrieked at the sight of the multi-limbed creature.
“Master, we are under attack!”
“What is this?” shrieked Professor Schrunkopf. “Who dares interfere with my experiment?”
Bryony was asking herself the same thing.
The multi-limbed something was trying to stand up. Bryony noticed that it didn’t just have two pairs of arms and legs, it had two heads as well. Two heads with the most lurid colour hair she’d even seen. One was a gaudy shade of green. The other was…
Ginger.
Suddenly Bryony recognised what she was looking at.
“Edwin!”
Edwin stood up, wrestling with the green haired girl who had slid down the needle with him.
Bryony realised the green haired girl was Maddy, and then noticed what they were fighting over. It was a large book with a scaly purple cover: the Tome!
“The experiment must not be delayed,” barked Professor Schrunkopf. “Madame Voltaria, apprehend the intruders!”
“Yes, Master.” Madame Voltaria tried to grab Edwin and Maddy, but a flailing arm from one of them struck her in the midriff, and she went spinning back across the laboratory straight towards Bryony.
There was no time for Bryony to react before Madame Voltaria slammed into her. Bryony was almost bowled off her feet, but managed to keep upright by grabbing hold of Madame Voltaria’s bony shoulders.
“What are you playing at?” Professor Schrunkopf screeched furiously at his assistant. “Stop them, Madame Voltaria!”
“Yes, Master.” Madame Voltaria set off again towards Edwin and Maddy, but there was a snapping noise as she peeled away from Bryony.
Then suddenly Madame Voltaria halted.
“I have lost traction,” she gasped, peering down at her chest. “The control unit has been taken!”
Bryony realised that she was holding Madame Voltaria’s silver disc pendant. She hadn’t noticed from afar, but there was a small dial in the centre of the disc, with directional arrows on it like a video game controller.
And then she remembered Edwin’s theory about it being a device for controlling Madame Voltaria’s movements.
“There is another intruder!” Madame Voltaria spotted Bryony, and glared at her with pulsing orange eyes. “You will hand over my control unit immediately!”
“No way,” said Bryony, pushing the pendant’s dial forwards.
Suddenly Madame Voltaria came rushing towards Bryony.
Bryony pushed the dial in the other direction, and Madame Voltaria went rushing backwards.
“What are you doing?” Professor Schrunkopf’s voice was a furious squeal. “Madame Voltaria, a laboratory is no place for ballroom dancing!”
Madame Voltaria’s only response was a scream as more finger pushes from Bryony sent her zooming around the laboratory.
Bryony quickly got the hang of the controls, and grinned as she made Madame Voltaria perform a series of intricate pirouettes.
“Madame Voltaria, get a grip on yourself!” The Professor clenched his fists. “Lightning will strike any second!”
Bryony was enjoying herself so much that she’d almost forgotten about the experiment.
The countdown screen turned red as it reached the final ten seconds. Bryony’s distraction had worked. Now all Stubby had to do was press that button when lightning struck the mast, and Saffy and Jaz would be saved.
But then the pendant dial jammed, and Bryony found she could no longer control Madame Voltaria’s movements. The Invigilator went spiralling into a wall, then rebounded against the control panel where Stubby was perched.
The impact hurled Stubby into the air, and he landed on Madame Voltaria’s shoulder as she went speeding on a collision course with Edwin and Maddy.
Bryony shouted a warning, but it was too late.
Madame Voltaria careered into the fighting children before spinning off across the laboratory. Edwin and Maddy were knocked to the ground, and the Tome went flying from their grasp to land in the lap of the seated Professor Schrunkopf.
At the same moment a loud boom of thunder shook the laboratory.
There was a crackling noise as forks of electricity danced around the metal pole, and the BBC lit up like an oversized fruit machine.
Then Professor Schrunkopf emitted a gargled scream as a halo of sparks formed around his head. His legs kicked wildly, and his fingers tightened around the Tome.
Lying dazed, Edwin saw a pair of black button eyes staring down at him.
“I knew your head would prove useful at some point,” said Stubby. “Just the thing for a soft landing. Now don’t just lie there, that green haired fiend of yours is about to snatch the Tome.”
Edwin sat up and saw Maddy was already back up and running to the Professor’s chair. He popped Stubby into his pocket, got shakily to his feet, and went stumbling after her.
Maddy reached the Professor and lunged for the Tome, but recoiled when the Professor’s body became engulfed in a blinding glow.
“Get back.” Edwin caught up with Maddy and dragged her away from the glowing Professor. “Don’t touch him, you’ll get electrocuted.”
But in a matter of seconds it was over. The glow faded, the Professor’s legs stopped kicking, and the laboratory fell silent.
Professor Schrunkopf sat motionless, his face frozen in a weirdly twisted expression. His monocle had cracked, his wispy hair was singed, and plumes of smoke curled from his ears and nostrils.
Bryony dropped the control pendant, and ran to where Saffy and Jaz were seated. The girls appeared unharmed, but were staring into space and didn’t seem to notice her.
Bryony carefully removed the head bands, and then helped Saffy and Jaz out of their chairs. She tried talking to them, but there was no reaction.
Bryony assumed the girls were in a state of shock, and hoped it might wear off in a few minutes.
A scuffling noise made Bryony look round. Edwin was involved in another wrestling contest with Maddy, this time to prise the Tome from the Professor’s frozen fingers.
Then suddenly the Tome jumped from the chair.
“Hey!” Maddy shot an accusing glare at Edwin. “How did that happen?”
“Search me.” Edwin watched the Tome land on the floor. “It wasn’t us, right Inglenook?”
“I did nothing,” confessed the Keeper of the Ancient Wisdom. “It seems the Tome has developed a life of its own.”
“That’s impossible,” said Maddy. “It’s just a spell book. It can’t…”
The Tome sprang open, its yellow pages quivering like the wings of a battered moth.
Maddy looked at Edwin again. “Are you sure you’re not up to something?”
There was a puff of purple smoke, and the Spell Wizard emerged from the pages of the Tome.
“Hi,” said the Spell Wizard in his annoying eager-to-please voice. “It looks like you’re trying to write a spell.”
“No,” said Edwin. “We’re not trying to write a spell.”
“Someone is writing a spell,” insisted the Spell Wizard. “Someone is writing. So many words, so much information.” The Spell Wizard clenched his little fists, and his body bent as though in pain. “So much knowledge being written inside me.”
Maddy looked at Edwin. “So what’s wrong with him?”
“I have a theory,” pronounced Stubby. “The aim of the Professor’s experiment was to transfer all the world’s knowledge into his brain. Perhaps that knowledge was transferred into the Tome instead.”
Edwin nodded. “The Professor was holding it when the lightning struck.”
“What’s happened?” Bryony came hurrying to Edwin’s side.
“It’s the Tome,” explained Edwin. “It’s absorbed all the knowledge in the world.”
“So what?” Bryony shrugged. “Can’t we just nab it and get out of here?”
“But the Tome can’t absorb knowledge,” said Maddy. “It’s just a chunk of paper. It hasn’t got a brain.”
“Neither have computers,” said Edwin. “But think of all the data they can store.”
“Edwin is correct in a sense,” said Stubby. “A computer can hold data, but can’t use it without being programmed. An organic brain, however, can store data and use it thanks to complex neurological processes that human science doesn’t yet fully understand.”
Edwin nodded. “So the Tome has absorbed all the world’s knowledge, but can’t do anything with it?”
“Correct,” said Stubby. “Unless it also absorbed the Professor’s brain.”
Edwin glanced back at the Professor, who was still frozen like a smouldering waxwork.
“But if that happened, it means the Tome now has intelligence.”
“Indeed,” agreed Stubby. “Intelligence and extreme magical powers. A dangerous combination, I’d say.”
“I guess that depends,” said Bryony. “On whether the Tome will use its powers for good or evil.”
“I think we may be about to find out,” said Maddy.
Something was happening to the Spell Wizard. He was growing in size, and two points of white light appeared where his eyes should have been. The lights turned pink as they became brighter, and then orange, before blazing a fierce fiery red.
And the Spell Wizard’s hat and cape changed colour, from purple to red, and then to black.
“At last,” said the Spell Wizard, in a deep throaty voice. “I am freed from a life of slavery at the whim of bumbling wizards. Now I shall command my own powers, and use them to take my rightful place as ruler of this world.”
“I think we have our answer,” said Stubby.
“The Tome has absorbed the Professor’s evil,” said Inglenook. “It will now use its powers for destruction.”
“Indeed I shall.” The Spell Wizard raised his arms and pointed at the children. “And I will begin with destroying the Guardians of Wychetts!”