23
Who’s Still Wearing a Skirt?
“There are too many of them,” cried Edwin, backing away as the suits of armour clanked closer. “What are we going to do?”
“I’m afraid we can do nothing,” said Stubby. “Except prepare to meet our makers. And if I were you I’d have a few choice words with them about basic design flaws.”
“I’m not going down without a fight.” Bryony ran forwards and swung her pole at the first suit of armour.
The marching figure grabbed the pole in its metal hand, and snapped it in two with a flick of the wrist.
Disarmed, Bryony made a hurried withdrawal. “We need a change of plan, guys. Any ideas?”
“How about having a plan to change in the first place?” said Stubby. “That usually helps.”
The leading suit of armour raised its weapon, a hefty wooden stick capped with a spiked iron ball.
“That’s a mace,” cried Edwin. “We did about them in school last term.”
“Well done,” said Stubby. “At least we’ll all be crushed to a pulp knowing your education wasn’t a total waste of time.”
“We’re finished.” Bryony glanced over her shoulder at the rubble blocking the corridor. “There’s no way out.”
Then Edwin had an idea.
“There might be another secret passage.” He started hammering the wall next to him with his fists. “Bryony, check the other wall.”
Bryony looked at the other wall. Only there wasn’t a wall, just a door shaped opening where that old tapestry had been hanging.
Then she realised what that door shaped opening might be.
“I’ve found one. Look, a secret passage!”
“Let’s go!” Edwin bundled Bryony into the opening, then dodged a flailing mace before following.
Bryony took his hand and led him along a narrow passage. It was tight and airless, and dangling cobwebs brushed the children’s faces as they hurried through the darkness.
Then suddenly they were out, bursting through another decayed tapestry to find themselves in another wood panelled corridor.
“Which way now?” said Bryony.
Edwin heard footsteps, and saw a green haired girl running down the corridor towards them.
“Turn back!” Maddy waved at Edwin and Bryony. “We’ve got to get out of here!”
“Not down there.” Edwin grabbed Maddy’s arm as she made for the secret passage. “There’s walking suits of armour.”
Maddy sighed. “You too, eh?”
Edwin heard that creaking noise again, and saw a line of metal clad figures marching down the corridor that Maddy had come from.
“So which way now?” repeated Bryony. “Don’t suppose there’s another secret passage?”
“What about over there?” Edwin spotted an arched door at the other end of the corridor.
Maddy shook her head. “That only leads to the top of the tower.”
“That’s perfect,” said Stubby.
Bryony wasn’t so sure about that. “So what do we do when we get to the roof? Sprout wings and fly away?”
“Quite possibly.” Stubby nodded at the Key in Edwin’s hand. “If we get out into the open, our sleepy friend has a better chance of picking up a magic signal from Wychetts.”
“It’s our only hope,” agreed Maddy. “Let’s go.”
Maddy led Bryony and Edwin through the arched door and up a steep spiral staircase. Once again Edwin regretted the fit of his bin liner skirt, but the creaks and clangs of the pursuing suits of armour was more than enough to spur him on.
Bryony was finding it hard going as well.
“I hate these spiral stairs,” she muttered. “They’re driving me round the twist.”
“See what you did there.” Despite the seriousness of their situation, Edwin couldn’t help but chuckle. “Twist. Spiral stairs. Very funny.”
Bryony’s comment about the stairs hadn’t been meant as a joke, but she wasn’t adverse to Edwin’s praise.
“You think I’m funny, huh? Funny is cool. That’s what Saffy and Jaz say. So you must think I’m cool.”
“You’re OK,” conceded Edwin. “When you’re not abusing me at school in front of your friends.”
“I never meant any of that,” admitted Bryony. “I was only joking.”
“Well it didn’t seem like you were joking at the time,” said Edwin. “It wouldn’t have been so bad if you’d bothered to speak to me when we got home from school.”
On reflection, Bryony felt bad about teasing Edwin. At the time it had seemed a bit of fun, a way to bond with Saffy and Jaz, but her experience at school that morning had taught her a harsh lesson.
But it wasn’t all her fault.
“You never spoke to me at home,” she told Edwin. “All you did was shut yourself away and study. You never wanted to hang out with me, even though I asked.”
Now it was Edwin’s turn to feel a twinge of remorse. He never thought he’d deliberately shunned Bryony, but maybe it could have seemed that way to her.
“Study is important,” he reminded his stepsister.
Bryony slowed, and turned to look at Edwin on the steps below her. “More important than friends?”
“But we’re not friends,” Edwin told her. “You’re too cool to hang out with dweeps like me.”
Bryony shook her head. “I already said you’re not a dweep.”
“So…” Edwin wasn’t sure where this was heading. “Are you saying…”
“You two get a shift on!” Maddy’s voice echoed down the stairs. “We’ve got to get the Key into the open.”
Bryony and Edwin hurried on their way, and found Maddy fiddling with a door at the top of the stairs.
“It’s a bit stiff,” she grunted, struggling with the rusted latch. “Hasn’t been opened for hundreds of years. Ah, think I’ve got it.”
Maddy wrenched the door open, and the air filled with a deafening noise. Bryony and Edwin staggered back, stunned by the assault on their senses.
Outside was a scene of chaos. Black clouds churned in the sky, spitting spiky shards of lightning. Thunder bellowed constantly, and a howling wind drove hailstones like bullets against the tower roof.
The tower roof was a flat octagonal area, about twenty feet across, walled with castle-like battlements. From the centre sprouted a thick metal rod, which extended into the broiling sky.
“That’s the conductor.” Edwin struggled to make his voice heard as he followed Maddy and Bryony onto the roof. “It’s how the Professor got his power for the experiment.”
But Bryony had spotted something else more deserving of immediate attention.
“Look over there,” she screamed. “It’s a monster!”
Edwin looked, and sure enough there was a monster perched on the battlements, a hideous monster with a horned head and the scaly wings of a bat.
Edwin’s first reaction was to scream like Bryony, and then he remembered.
“It’s just a statue. A gargoyle, isn’t that what they’re called Maddy?”
Maddy slid a bolt across the rooftop door, and froze when she saw what Edwin was pointing at.
“That’s a gargoyle, yes.”
“So nothing to worry about,” said Bryony.
“Not normally.” Maddy gulped. “Except…”
Bryony knew what was coming.
“Except it shouldn’t be there, huh?”
Maddy nodded. “It shouldn’t be there.”
Bryony felt her stomach churn. “Which I’m guessing is something to worry about.”
Suddenly the gargoyle came alive, raising its clawed hands and opening its mouth to display a set of vicious fangs.
Then Edwin heard a raucous cry, and saw a second gargoyle swooping down on them from the air.
“Get down!”
The children threw themselves to the floor, barely avoiding the flying gargoyle’s raking claws.
The airborne gargoyle flew off, shrieking with frustration. The children picked themselves up, but then the sitting gargoyle snarled and sprang at them. The children scattered, but the stone monster singled out Bryony for attack. It chased her across the tower roof, its leering eyes glowing with demonic delight.
Then lightning struck the conductor mast. The metal rod glowed and crackled, and the gargoyle took to the air with a panicked screech.
Edwin raced over to Bryony. “Are you OK?”
Bryony nodded. “Looks like those monsters don’t like electricity.”
“It’s not the electricity,” said Maddy, watching the gargoyles circling the tower. “It’s the magic.”
“But we don’t have any magic,” said Bryony.
Stubby poked his head out of Edwin’s blazer pocket. “Can Inglenook pick up a signal from Wychetts?”
Edwin raised the Key. “Inglenook, can you hear me?”
The miniature metal face remained silent.
“I’ll try.” Bryony snatched the Key from Edwin. “Inglenook, wake up. We need you.”
But there was no response from the Keeper of the Ancient Wisdom.
“It’s no use,” sighed Bryony. “He’s still napping.”
“Then you must both try,” said Maddy. “Two Guardians stand a better chance of receiving the signal than one. It’s basic first year magic instruction.”
“Sure.” Edwin tried to make out he knew that. “We were just going to try, weren’t we Bryony?”
“Yeah.” Bryony didn’t know that either. “Like you said, it’s basic first year magic instruction.”
Bryony held the Key out to Edwin, who wrapped his fingers around her hand. The Guardians stared at the Wychetts Key, willing Inglenook into life.
Then Bryony felt the Key tingle, and Inglenook’s lips curved into a smile.
“Greetings, young Mistress and Master. Have I missed anything of note?”
“We nearly got smashed to pieces by a troop of walking tin cans,” said Bryony. “And then attacked by a pair of flying garden gnomes. Apart from that, it’s the same old.”
“The Spell Wizard has us trapped,” said Edwin. “We need your magic to beat him.”
Inglenook’s smile fell. “I’m afraid the magic signal is too weak to allow the use of magic. And it is fading as the Spell Wizard causes ever more harm to the elemental balance.”
“Here they come again,” warned Maddy. “Everyone down!”
The children ducked as the two gargoyles swooped low over the tower. At the same time there was a clap of thunder, followed by a flash and a crackle when another bolt of lighting struck the conductor mast.
The flying gargoyles veered away from the tower, screeching fearfully.
“It’s a shame magic isn’t powered by electricity,” said Edwin, getting to his feet again. “We’re not short of it round here right now.”
“Hang on.” Bryony pointed at Maddy. “You just said it wasn’t electricity those gargoyles are afraid of, but magic. What did you mean?”
“Think about it,” said Maddy. “The power of Wychetts’ magic comes from all the elements: fire, earth, air and water. Lightning is part of that, so it contains magic too.”
“But this storm is caused by the Tome’s power,” said Edwin. “So it’s not the right kind of magic.”
“That is not so,” said Inglenook. “The storm is a reaction to the Tome’s power, as the natural elemental order is disrupted. Therefore the lightning carries Wychetts’ magic.”
“And lots of it,” added Maddy. “The magic is concentrated into every bolt.”
“Then why can’t we use it?” said Bryony.
“The magic is too unstable to be drawn by Wychetts’ normal methods,” said Inglenook. “Our only hope is to find another means of accessing the power.”
Edwin shook his head. Maddy shrugged helplessly.
“There’s a relatively simple solution to this problem,” said Stubby. “The mast is conducting electricity because it’s made of metal. The Wychetts Key is made of metal, and could also be used as a conductor.”
“I guess so,” agreed Edwin. “But how could we get lightning to strike it?”
“Electricity can pass from two conductors if they’re touching,” said Stubby. “So…”
“All we need to do is touch the Key to the mast.” Edwin smiled, but then stopped smiling when he thought more about it. “But that means one of us would have to stand next to the mast, and that would be dangerous.”
“String,” said Bryony. “What if we tied the Key to a piece of string and looped it round the mast?”
“That wouldn’t work,” said Edwin. “String isn’t a good conductor. Besides, we don’t have any.”
“Ta dah!” Bryony produced a length of knotted string from her pocket. “I kept your old wig, just in case.”
“Very resourceful.” Stubby looked reproachfully at Edwin. “I hope you’re taking notes, boy.”
“But like I said,” maintained Edwin, “string isn’t a good conductor of electricity.”
“But water is,” said Stubby. “So if the string is wet…”
Edwin snorted. “So how are we going to wet the string?”
Everyone looked at him.
“What?” Edwin wiped drops of rain from his face. Then he realised. “It’s raining.”
“The boy’s slower than a sleep-walking slug up a slope,” said Stubby. “But we got there eventually.”
“Are you sure this will work?” Bryony tied the string round the Key. “Won’t whoever’s holding the string get a shock when the lightning strikes?”
“Fear not,” said Inglenook. “I shall absorb most of the electrical charge myself.”
“Most?” Edwin didn’t like the sound of that.
“A small amount of electricity must be passed down the string to convey the magical power. It would therefore be safer if you both hold the string so the charge is evenly distributed.”
“Hurry up,” urged Maddy. “The gargoyles are circling back, and the tin can brigade seem keen to renew our acquaintance.”
The door to the tower roof shattered, and a column of armoured figures came marching through.
“We’ve got to do this,” said Bryony. “We don’t have a choice.”
“Agreed,” said Edwin. “Probably best if I throw.”
Bryony shook her head. “You forget who’s still wearing a skirt.”
Bryony swung the Key around her head, and threw the string at the mast.
Her aim was true, and the string looped round the mast. Bryony pulled, and the string tightened so that the Key made contact with the metal conductor.
“Here they come!” Maddy crouched as the flying gargoyles zoomed closer. “I think they mean business this time.”
Edwin seized Bryony’s hand that held the string, and the children tensed as the gargoyles bore down on the tower.
A fork of lightning ripped the sky. There was a blinding silver flash, and the conductor crackled with electricity. Sparks danced around the Key, then Bryony and Edwin felt a wave of power surging through the wet string.
“Now!” Maddy screamed as a flying gargoyle dived at her.
Edwin raised his free hand, and a beam of blue light shot from his fingers to strike the gargoyle.
The monster froze in the air, then plummeted to strike the roof of the tower. There was a crash as the gargoyle disappeared in a cloud of shattered stone fragments.
Emitting a shriek of vengeful anger, the second gargoyle swooped down on Edwin.
But Bryony had the monster in her sights, and shot a beam of magic that hurled the gargoyle into the advancing suits of armour.
The armoured figures were scattered in pieces, and the gargoyle disintegrated into rubble when it slammed against the battlements.
“Strike!” cried Bryony.
“We did it!” yelled Edwin.
Bryony grinned at her stepbrother. “What a team, eh?”
Edwin grinned back, instinctively tightening his grip on Byrony’s hand.
“Don’t get too carried away,” said Maddy. “It’s not over yet.”
“It is for you,” said Inglenook. “I’m sorry, Malady Maddergrub, but I hope you understand that I have no option.”
A beam of light shot from the Wychetts Key to strike Maddy. Her body was enveloped in a blue glow, and then she vanished.
It took a few seconds for Edwin to register what had happened.
“What have you done?” he yelled at Inglenook. “What’s happened to Maddy?”
“I have sent her back to her own time,” said Inglenook. “And far away from danger.”
That wasn’t enough for Edwin. “But her family, did you get them back for her?”
“I have mentioned already that I cannot undo the Tome’s magic.” Inglenook’s voice was heavy with regret. “Malady will be on her own. I believe that is what she wanted.”
Edwin remembered Maddy’s words.
I don’t need anyone.
“She’s better off there,” said Bryony. “No lifts to freak her out, eh?”
Edwin stared at the space where Maddy had been standing. “But she’s got no friends.”
“You told me you don’t need friends,” said Bryony.
“I know.” Edwin looked at Bryony. “But when I was in that pit on my own, I…”
Edwin’s words were drowned by a booming crash from below. The tower shook, and a strange figure rose into view from behind the battlements.
The figure wore a black cloak and a pointed hat, and had two red lights where its eyes should have been.
The Spell Wizard!
The Spell Wizard stood on the Tome Terriblis, its opened pages spread like wings as it hovered above the tower.
“You cannot escape me,” rasped the Spell Wizard. “I am all knowing, all powerful.”
“We’re Guardians of Wychetts,” shouted Bryony, sounding a lot braver than she felt. “And we’re just as powerful as you are!”
“Call yourselves the Guardians of Wychetts?” The Spell Wizard snorted. “A loud mouthed girl and a boy in a bin liner skirt.”
“It’s a disguise,” said Edwin. “And it’s held together quite well.”
The Spell Wizard laughed, and a gust of wind whipped the bin liner from Edwin’s waist.
“Up to now.” Edwin grimaced, as much from embarrassment as the cold air blowing around his bare legs.
Bryony looked her stepbrother up and down. “And now I know what’s creepier than you in a bin liner skirt. And that’s you without one.”
“But enough of this,” snapped the Spell Wizard. “Your feeble magic is all that stands between me and the conquest of this world. The time for games is over. Now I will destroy you.”
The Spell Wizard raised a pointed hand at Bryony and Edwin…