5
Top of the Class
One week later, and a gawping Jane almost dropped the stack of paperwork she was carrying into the cottage.
“You came where?”
“Top,” repeated Bryony, smiling at her stepmother from the hallway. “In every subject.”
“That’s fantastic!” Jane gasped with delight. “Top of the class in every subject!”
“Not just top of the class.” Bryony’s smile widened into a grin. “Top of the school.”
Jane almost dropped her paperwork again, but managed to keep hold of it as she gave Bryony a congratulatory kiss on the cheek. “Well done! I’m sorry I didn’t have time to check the results at school, but I was stuck in the office all day doing paperwork. If I’d known I would have come home earlier so we could have a celebration.”
“It’s OK.” Bryony was actually glad it had turned out this way; it meant she had the pleasure of breaking the news to Jane herself.
And that pleasure was only half complete.
Jane looked at Edwin. “And how did you get on, darling?”
Edwin was sitting at the foot of the stairs, staring glumly at the floor.
“He came bottom,” revealed Bryony, her grin twisting into a smirk.
“Bottom?” Jane frowned. “Of the class?”
“No.” Bryony relished the words on her tongue. “Bottom of the entire school.”
Jane almost dropped the paperwork again.
“Oh dear,” she gasped, after regaining her composure. “That doesn’t sound like you, Edwin.”
“I’ve told him not to worry,” said Bryony. “He can re-sit the exams next term. They give ten points for spelling your name right, so he’s in with a chance of five.”
Edwin lifted his head. His eyes were puffy, and his cheeks burned so fiercely that his freckles had almost vanished.
“I shouldn’t have to re-sit the exams,” he spat. “Bryony should. She’s the one who cheated.”
Jane scowled at Edwin. “That’s a very serious accusation.”
“And it’s true,” swore Edwin. “There’s no way she could come top unless she cheated.”
“How could I have cheated?” sneered Bryony. “Suppose I used magic, huh?”
Edwin glared at her.
“We’ll talk about this later.” Jane gave Edwin a reproachful look before returning her attention to Bryony. “But well done you. I’m sure your father is thrilled with the news.”
“Oh I am.” A grinning Bill emerged from the kitchen. “Wonderful news!”
“About Bryony?” Jane returned her husband’s grin.
“Bryony?” Bill blinked. “Oh yeah, but never mind that. I’ve got some news of my own.”
Bryony had been wondering why Dad had been acting strangely since she’d got home. Well, even stranger than usual. He kept smiling to himself, and seemed disinterested in her brilliant exam results.
“Well?” Jane’s grin flickered, and there was a hint of unease in her voice.
Bill cleared his throat. “Two letters arrived for me this morning. One of which was inviting me to a job interview.”
“An interview?” A shocked Jane finally got round to dropping her paperwork. “For a job?”
“That’s right.” Bill waved a letter he produced from his pocket. “A proper full time job. As a salesman for a leading gutter sales and installation company.”
“Gutters?” Edwin snorted. “I always thought your career would end up down the drain.”
“What are the wages like?” said Bryony.
Bill puffed his chest. “According to the letter, the pay will match my skills and experience.”
“So that’ll be a whole peanut per week,” grunted Edwin.
“The interview is tomorrow,” said Bill. “At nine o’clock sharp.”
“But you’ve never been sharp,” observed Edwin.
Jane shot her son a stern look, then smiled at Bill. “That’s wonderful news. Well done.”
“Don’t get carried away,” said Bryony. “Dad’s record at interviews isn’t exactly flawless. Remember what happened when he went for that building site inspector’s job?”
“I made quite an impression,” said Bill.
Bryony nodded. “But only when you fell face down in that patch of wet cement.”
“I have total faith in you, darling.” Jane patted Bill’s arm. “You said two letters came. Was the other one about a job as well?”
“Naw.” Bill drew another letter from his pocket and handed it to Jane. “Just some stuff about Bryony and school.”
“A letter from the school about me?” Bryony didn’t like the sound of that.
Edwin reacted differently. He sprung to his feet, and his face lit up at the news.
“Have they found out she cheated in the exams? Are they going to expel her? Will she go to prison? Please tell me she’s going to go to prison. A maximum security prison with an electric fence, and a deep moat full of man eating sharks.”
“It’s not from the school.” Jane read the second letter. “At least not from your current school. It says Bryony has been… selected.”
Bryony wrinkled her nose. “Selected for what?”
“Cheat of the Year?” suggested Edwin.
Jane held up a hand for silence, and then read the letter aloud.
“Dear Mr Platt, we are writing to inform you that, as the best performing pupil in her school this term, your daughter Bryony has been selected for admittance to the world famous Schrunkopf Institute of Knowledge.”
“The what?” Bryony’s nose wrinkled even more.
“The Schrunkopf Institute of Knowledge,” repeated Jane. “The letter says it’s a special new school founded by the great Professor Schrunkopf.”
“What’s special about it?” said Bryony. “Do they let you listen to pop music in class? Are there a hundred different ice cream flavours on the canteen menu? Is the uniform a snazzy party dress?”
“I doubt it,” said Jane, scanning the letter. “It says the Institute has been set up to teach intellectually gifted children, and that you are invited to the Institute tomorrow for an induction test to gauge your suitability for admittance next term. Your current school has been notified. A special coach will pick you up at eight o’clock in the morning. You should wear your current school uniform for identification purposes.”
“Wow!” exclaimed Bill. “What a day this is for the family. I get an interview, and Bryony lands a place in a posh new school.”
“But I don’t want to go to a new school,” said Bryony. “I want to stay with Saffy and Jaz. And it’s the last day of term tomorrow. There’s no lessons, and everyone gets to chill out. I don’t want to be stuck in some dingy hall doing more exams.”
“Perhaps Bryony is right.” Jane lowered the letter and looked at Bill. “Sending her to a new school might not be best for her.”
“But think of the opportunities it will bring,” said Bill. “If Bryony does well she could become someone important. Like a lawyer, a Prime Minister, or a TV talent show judge.”
“I think that’s going a bit far,” said Jane. “Bryony might not want a position with such huge responsibility.”
“OK.” Bill nodded. “Then maybe she should settle for just being Prime Minister.”
“I don’t want to be Prime Minister,” said Bryony.
“But it’s a great job,” insisted Bill. “You get your very own cabinet. Not sure about table and chairs, though.”
“She’s not brainy enough to be Prime Minister,” whined Edwin. “She’s not brainy enough to be prime mincemeat.”
“She came top of the school,” said Bill. “That proves she’s brainy. Maybe that’s what we should call her from now on: ‘Brainy Bryony’.”
“How about something more accurate?” hissed Edwin. “Like ‘Low Down Cheating Worm Bryony’. She shouldn’t be selected for the Schrunkopf Institute. It should be me.”
“I don’t want to go to that school anyhow,” said Bryony. “Couldn’t you send Edwin in my place if that’s what he wants?”
“We couldn’t do that,” said Jane. “You earned the chance, Bryony.”
“No she didn’t.” Edwin turned on his heel and marched from the hallway. “She cheated. And I’m going to prove it!”