CHAPTER 4 – WHAT DO YOU REALLY WANT?
Earlier this year I attended a conference for entrepreneurs and the keynote speaker was someone who I was really looking forward to hearing from. He had a reputation of being very motivating and apparently had a way of challenging his audience to take action.
The speaker came onto stage:
You are all full of shit.
He repeated it – “You are all full of shit.” As you can imagine, there were a few awkward chuckles in the audience but most of were a little stunned by his less than warm introduction.
“Who does this guy think he is?” is what I was thinking, and I’m sure I wasn’t alone.
Without any explanation of his “full of shit” statement, the speaker began to talk about his personal fitness goals. He admitted that long hours spent running his own business had taken their toll. He made little time for exercise and ate on the road often. His lifestyle caught up with him and he was 55 pounds heavier than he wanted to be.
He told us that he knew he needed to make a change when his belly became the same size and shape of his pregnant wife’s! He joined a gym and hired a personal trainer.
He then recounted a story that many of us in the audience could surely relate to. He started going to the gym 4 days per week. He cut out a lot of junk food from his diet and was very motivated to do whatever it would take to shed those 55lbs.
After a few weeks however, work began to get hectic and it was harder and harder to pull himself out of bed early enough in the morning to make it to the gym. Stress led to snacking, and snacking led to a little weight gain, not the weight-loss he was aiming for.
He relayed a conversation he had with his personal trainer:
Him: “It’s just so hard to get here every day when I’m dealing with all this stuff at work.”
Trainer: “Do you really want to lose those 55lbs?”
Him: “Yes! I will do whatever it takes!”
Trainer: “You’re full of shit.”
This story got a less-awkward chuckle from the audience. Maybe this guy isn’t so bad after all (since he’s “full of shit” too).
The point of his story was clear: He said that he wanted to lose 55lbs and he even declared that he would be willing to do anything to reach that goal. But, those were just words. He really was full of shit because he prioritized his work over the healthy choices required to lose weight.
He challenged the audience in a similar way.
Is your business not performing as you’d like? You have to ask yourself if you’re really willing to make the sacrifices needed to get it where you want it to be. What do you really want?
What do YOU really want?
I recently read a interesting article that discussed the sacrifices required to have 6-pack abs. It was written by a woman who was in great shape but who had never been able to get the defined abs she wanted. So, she made it her mission to get a 6-pack and she decided to chronicle her journey.
She talked about the regimented exercise routine she followed, and she discussed all the foods she cut out of her diet (goodbye chocolate!). Her progress was slow and painful, but even though she wanted to quit many times, she stayed on-track until she got her first 6-pack stomach.
That wasn’t the point of her story though. Yes, she was proud of what she had accomplished but her message was a little surprising. When asked if all the sacrifice was worth it she quickly responded, “Not a chance!”
Giving up foods she loved and spending all that extra time in the gym was NOT worth the reward of having great abs. After accomplishing her goal she reverted back to a more “normal” routine, one that still kept her fit but was much less stringent and much less life-defining.
Think about your fitness goals. Do you have a number that you’d like to see on the scale? Or maybe there’s something that you’d like to change about your physical appearance? Maybe you’d like to be able to do something athletic that you’ve never done before?
What are you willing to do in order to reach that goal?
You are going to have to give up a lot in order to be successful. Are you ready to make those sacrifices?
I know it sounds intuitive to say that improving your fitness will take sacrifice. Of course it will. But, knowing this intuitively and owning it for yourself are two very different things.
I think you’d agree that it’s hard to lose weight if you eat desserts every day. Donuts, cookies, candy, chocolate, cake, ice cream, and other similar treats are not weight-loss foods. You know that.
But, what happens when you’re at work and someone brings in a batch of homemade chocolate chip cookies? Are you willing to sacrifice the enjoyment of eating those cookies in order to stay on the path that leads to your goal?
When you go out for dinner with your friends, are you willing to pass on that glass of wine or beer that everyone else is enjoying? Is the sacrifice in the moment worth the satisfaction you are going to get several weeks or months in the future?
Don’t get me wrong – I’m not doubting your intentions or your resolve. I’m simply asking legitimate questions that I hope you’ll consider.
In theory most of us would say that the long-term benefit of reaching a fitness goal far outweighs the short-term enjoyment of cheating on the action plan. However, the short-term enjoyment is very real AND it’s immediately available. This instant gratification is powerful and shouldn’t be overlooked.
The fact is, there are real benefits to saying YES to that chocolate chip cookie your co-worker offers. There are social benefits of connecting with others who are also eating the cookies, plus there is a physiological reward that comes from eating something sweet. That cookie will make you feel good – Your stress will seem lessened, your energy will peak, and you will feel happier. Those feelings all have real value and shouldn’t be minimized.
In contrast, saying NO to short-term pleasures can have many costs. You may find yourself in awkward social interactions when you are the only one who isn’t partaking in the food or drinks. Also, you are passing up on opportunities to put yourself in a better mood. Avoiding a cookie may actually make you feel a little extra stress in the moment, or it might make you feel a little more tired. Again, those are real feelings and they are powerful.
This is one of the reasons why weight-loss is so elusive. It requires commitment to a long-term reward while sacrificing many immediate rewards that feel so good. The long-term reward is mysterious – When will it happen? How will it feel? Will I actually get there? Whereas the short-term rewards are concrete – That cookie will taste great right now!
Before you decide to take up the program I outline in the coming pages, I want you to think about the short-term rewards you enjoy each day. What would happen if you gave those up? Is achieving your long-term goal worth the sacrifice?
Unlike the woman who wanted to get 6-pack abs, I’m not going to ask you to make any insurmountable changes to the way you live. But, I am going to ask you to make some changes that are uncomfortable at first.
In the next chapter we examine some of the barriers to change that you will likely experience. If you are ready to break through those barriers then join me. I fully expect you’ll find that the long-term reward your earn is far more valuable than the sacrifices required to attain it.
9. What do you really want? (i.e. what is the specific goal you would like to achieve?)
10. What rewards would you get if you reached your goal? (i.e. how would your life improve?)
11. Are there things in your life that you would NOT give up in order to achieve that goal?