Peripheral by Mike Bozart - HTML preview

Halapad nga mga mata. Widely spaced eyes in the Cebuano/Bisaya dialect. She recalled hearing it for the first time when she was just four years old while out playing with other jet-black-haired, tan-skinned girls next to the landmark bell tower in the center of the small coastal town of Siquijor (on the like-named island-province in the Central Visayas of the Philippines). She asked her parents why her eyes were farther apart than the other children, but all her half-Chinese mother would say is that it was God’s will. Her one-quarter Malay father never gave an answer; he would just look up at the clouds and begin cursing, using the most indecipherable, though most assuredly vulgar, quasi-words.

During the first week of 1^st grade, it seemed that all of the students, one after another, asked her: “Lizette, why are your eyes so wide apart?”

She had no answer. Lizette just pursed her lips, shrugged her shoulders, looked down, and almost began to cry. She sincerely wanted to vanish.

By 3^rd grade it had gotten a little better. The questions about her atypical eye-spacing had now stopped, and she had acquired a friend: a girl with a cleft lip named Angelina. They were soon eating their lunches together, often sharing and swapping food. They played together during recess. They trusted and confided in each other. She finally had someone like herself. Life wasn’t quite as harsh with Angelina by her side.

It was in the middle-school grades that Lizette became keenly aware of her ultra-wide-ranging peripheral vision. Whereas most people can only see, or fuzzily perceive, ten to fifteen degrees behind the outer corners of their eyes, Lizette could visually discern images thirty degrees to the rear of her temples with high acuity. At first this was more of a curse than a blessing, as she caught all of the hushed snickering that the offending preteens thought was out of her sight. She never turned around. She just wondered: Why me, Lord? Why? What did I do to deserve this fate? What?! No wonder my parents didn’t have any more children. Who would want another one of me? I wouldn’t.

In 8^th grade the other girls started to take a big interest in the boys. Some started to flirt. But, Lizette couldn’t imagine any boy liking her. She had already resigned herself to a spouse-less life. A spinster she would surely become. She could already see her singular future.

Just before the start of 9^th grade, her best friend’s family had raised enough money (via remittances from an older sibling residing in the United States) for an operation to correct Angelina’s facial deformity. When she learned about it, Lizette told Angelina: “Lucky for you, girl; you will soon look normal. My situation can’t be fixed. I’m stuck with my strange appearance for life.”

However, the medical procedure went horribly wrong. Angelina was an undiagnosed hemophiliac; she bled to death on the local clinic’s makeshift operating table. Her parents were inconsolable. Angelina’s father committed suicide by ingesting a poisonous plant eleven days later. Her mother became a brooding recluse.

Lizette became withdrawn. Her only true friend was gone. She actually felt that Angelina caught a most fortunate break: She no longer had to endure a world of stares, taunts, whispers, and name-calling. Dhay, nakalikay ka niining impyerno. [Cebuano/Bisaya for ‘Lady, you have escaped this hell.’]

In 10^th grade Lizette was befriended by two normal-looking, though reserved, quite shy, female students: Janith and Josalyn. Though she never became as close to them as she was to Angelina, they were good, noncritical, supportive company. They were boyfriend-less, too.

At the close of the school year, the two young ladies planned to celebrate by taking a ferry to Cebu City to go shopping in the big mall with Lizette. At first Lizette retorted: “No way!” She was very afraid of all the stares, sneers, and giggles in such a large city. But Janith and Josalyn wore her down. After an hour Lizette finally relented and said “Oo.” [Yes in Cebuano/Bisaya]

At 5:55 AM sharp on Friday, April 8^th (2016), newly-seventeen-year-olds Lizette, Janith and Josalyn, along with Janith’s nineteen-year-old sister, Jasmine (who would act as a chaperone), boarded the Fast Ferry from the Siquijor mooring pier. The transit along the Cebu Strait would take all of five hours.

The weather was fair. The sea was tranquil. Lizette opted for an outside seat on the bow of the vessel to avoid the longing gazes. The other three girls joined her. They had brought some rice, lechon manok and tubig (spit-roasted chicken and water) for the long journey.

At 11:11 AM they were walking down the gangplank to exit the small ship. They then hailed a pedicab to the Ayala Mall in central Cebu City. Lizette kept her head down to avoid eye contact with all the passersby on the streets. She quietly prayed that she wouldn’t become a freakish spectacle in the large, multilevel, modern mall.

However, that would not be the case. The gawkers and pointers were onto her before she walked ten meters (33 feet). Totally exasperated, she looked askance. And there it was: a kiosk with reasonably priced sunglasses. Perfect! There’s my solution.

Lizette made her way over to the mid-concourse display stand. She quickly settled on a pair of thin, black, sleek, wrap-around shades that were only 365 pesos (about $7). She looked at herself in the small mirror. Yes! This is the new me. I’m going to wear these all the time now! My perfect disguise.

“Well, look at Lizette,” Janith announced to the other girls.

“That’s a cool look,” Jasmine told Lizette.

“Salamat,” [Cebuano/Bisaya for ‘Thank you’] Lizette replied with a beaming smile. I’m so glad that I came to Cebu with the girls. These sunglasses are a godsend. And, I’m so glad that I had enough money for them.

As the female foursome primarily window-shopped in the crowded mall, Lizette felt confident like never before. She had found her shield – a new source of strength. I should have bought these sunglasses years ago. I feel great. What a life-changer.

At four o’clock they stopped in the food court for an early dinner. While eating some glutinous (sticky) rice, Lizette caught a handsome Filipino guy of about 18 to 19 years smiling at her from three tables away. She smiled back. It was the first time that anyone had ever flirted with her, and it was certainly the first time that she had done so. And such did not go unnoticed by the three young ladies.

“Wow!” Josalyn exclaimed. “Kana nga bata ganahan nimo,” [‘That boy likes you’ in Cebuano/Bisaya] she murmured in Lizette’s left ear as she eyed the clean-shaven lad.

Lizette just giggled. I can’t believe this is happening. To me!

“You sexy girl,” Janith pronounced playfully.

“Lizette, you look like a diva with those shades,” Jasmine added. Wow! A diva? Do I?

And then the young man got up and walked over to their table.

Lizette was stunned. Oh, my God!

“Is this seat taken, miss?” he asked Lizette.

“No, sir,” she blurted and giggled.

The dark-haired young man took a seat. “My name is Roy. Are you ladies from Cebu City?”

“No, we’re from Siquijor town,” Lizette confidently answered.

“We’re just here for the day,” Jasmine added like a protective big sister fending off a wolf.

They would spend a half-hour making small talk. When Roy stood up to leave, he gave Lizette his cell phone number, which he had jotted down on a corner of a napkin.

“I would love to visit Siquijor,” Roy declared. “I’ve never been there. Yet.”

“Oh, sure,” Lizette replied almost automatically.

Roy waved goodbye. And then disappeared around a corner.

Lizette was awestruck. He seems like a nice guy. And, he’s so cute, too. And, he’s a freshman at the university. This is too good to be true. I’ll never forget this day.

The young ladies kidded Lizette to no end on the return trip. She just smiled with her new shades still on, even when twilight had descended. This has been the best day of my life!

Once back at her home at 10:47 PM, she took a deep breath and texted Roy.

What are you doing, loverboy? This is Lizette from the mall today.

She was almost shocked when she clicked Send. But her hormones were a-raging. Hope he doesn’t have a girlfriend. Is he a player type? He sure was smooth. Too smooth? Is he really a college student? Or, is he into something nefarious? No, he’s a nice guy. Must cease with the doubt and negative thoughts.

Roy returned fire two minutes later.

Was just thinking of you, princess. Thanks for texting me. It was so great to meet you this afternoon. You were the prettiest woman in the whole mall. Can I come visit you tomorrow? It’s an open day for me. No homework. All caught up on my summer-session studies. I really want to see you again soon.

Lizette read his text five times. And then she looked in the mirror. What will Roy think when he sees this? Need to delay him. Not ready to reveal my true look to him yet. Will he freak out when he sees me without these sunglasses?

I am busy tomorrow, dear. Family stuff. Can’t get out of it.

Roy replied three minutes later.

I understand. Perhaps next weekend?

Lizette figured that she could come up with a plan to soften the revelation by then.

Sure, Roy. See you then.

Roy’s final text on that fateful day:

XoxoX

As Roy’s ferry approached the municipal pier the next Saturday around noon, Lizette bent down to retie a dangling, loose-knot shoelace. That’s when her shades suddenly slid off her head, bounced off a slanted plank, splashed into the bay, and promptly sank. Oh, no! Why did this have to happen now?! What should I do? Think! He’ll be getting off that ferry in five minutes!

Lizette then frantically texted a headshot of herself to him with this caption:

Sorry, Roy, but this is the real me.

Roy immediately reciprocated with a photo of his disfigured torso and some expository text:

And this is the real me, Lizette. The result of a drunken knife fight. A permanent reminder of adolescent foolishness. I never take my shirt off in public. I avoid swimming pools like the plague.

Long story kept short: In 25 months they were married. Roy would quit college. They would form a wav-file-accompanied jazz duo known as Peripheral. Roy played saxophone or trumpet on the far-right side of the tourist-surrounded, 3.5-star-hotel stage; Lizette sang old standards like Tangerine on the far-left side. The years passed serenely. Well, up until the night of that massive earthquake.

Angelina?