Rooftop Horror by Mike Bozart - HTML preview

The strangely tragic death of Chinese Canadian Elisa Lam made its way into our chattering office circles this past week. In case you forgot, or never heard, Lam was the 21-year-old female from a Vancouver suburb who ended up dead inside a water tank atop the Cecil Hotel in the Skid Row area of downtown Los Angeles in February of 2013.

This particular hotel is notorious for infamous guests, such as serial killers, [names redacted; we are not in the business of making murders (any more) famous] and for strange events, like a wife’s act of defenestration in 1962 that killed a 65-year-old man on the sidewalk below. Talk about a bad day to go for a stroll down Main Street.

Perhaps you remember seeing the über-creepy elevator video (if not, it is still on Youtube as of this write-up). However, Monique (the customary alias for Agent 32) had not heard about this bizarre case until yours truly (Agent 33) informed her. She was very curious to know more, as she’s a bigtime Forensic Files fanatic. She began reading up on the story on her pink tablet computer.

“The hotel guests reported odd-tasting drinking water with some even describing it as somewhat sweet,” Monique recited from a news article. “That’s totally effing [sic] gross! Major yuck!”

“I know. What a crazy postmortem situation that was.” Sickening. / So sad.

Monique then switched from her tablet computer to our laptop. She prefers it for analyzing videos. She watched the elevator video three times in focused silence. Then she spoke. “So, no other person was seen with her at that hotel?”

“No, no one,” I answered as I looked around for the crunch bowl.

“And, she was travelling alone?” I would never travel to downtown L.A. alone. Never. What was this girl thinking? / She must have been a free spirit.

“Yep, solo, according to all accounts that I’ve read. She had a history of travelling alone and using public transportation. She had gone to Toronto alone.” Gosh, she was crazy to do that. No way would I do that.

“Was she visiting anyone in L.A.?” Monique then asked.

“No, not that anyone is aware of. She checked in with her mom daily by phone. That is, up until January 31st, when she disappeared, only to be found on February 19th in one of the hotel’s four rooftop water tanks by a maintenance worker.”

“That’s crazy! I can tell from this video that she is buang.” [Cebuano for insane]

“Well, apparently she did suffer from bouts of depression and had been diagnosed with bipolar disorder,” I said as I swatted at a tiny fruit-decomposition gnat.

“But, being bipolar or depressed wouldn’t explain her bizarre behavior in that elevator. Is that hotel haunted?”

“I don’t know about that, 32. Isn’t that kind of stuff in an individual’s head?” I wonder what’s in his head.

“I don’t know, Parkaar. [my ailing alias] To me it looks like she saw a mumo.” [Cebuano for ghost or phantom]

“Maybe so. And as you were saying, being bipolar is quite different from being or acting schizophrenic. In that elevator video she appears to be hallucinating – severely hallucinating.”

“Yeah, it does appear that she is interacting with things, persons, or who knows what that aren’t really there.”

“It sure does, 32. In fact, it almost looks like she’s on acid.”

Monique looked puzzled. “On acid? What kind of acid?”

“LSD, that strong psychoactive drug,” I replied.

“Oh, right. But, I just wonder how she got up on the roof. Didn’t you tell me that the door to the roof was locked and alarmed?”

“Yes, I did, and it was. But there are three fire escapes that lead to the roof from the ends of the corridors. In her frightened psychotic state of mind, she could have taken one up to the roof without being detected. There wasn’t a roof-cam [sic] up there. At least, not at that time.”

“Are you sure that a hotel employee wasn’t involved? A lot of people on the internet seem to think so, 33.” Always a possibility.

“Well, Monique, I did, too … for a while. And, well, I guess that it can’t be totally ruled out. But, the autopsy report said that there were no signs of foul play. LAPD [Los Angeles Police Department] considers the case closed. There were no injuries to her body. No signs of rape or a struggle. And, no drugs were found in her system. Well, at least no nineteen-days-after-being-in-a-water-tank traceable drugs, that is.” What is he getting at?

“What do you mean, Parkaarazzi?” Parkaarazzi?

“I just can’t rule out LSD or some similar psychedelic drug. I don’t believe they are detectable after three or four days.”

“Ok, then, 33. So, what was the official cause of death in your book, my psuper psleuth [sic]?”

“Did you remember the psilent [sic] p’s?”

“I did. Did you?”

“Psertainly pso!” [sic]  Psilly kano. [sic]

“Ok, continue, Pumperazzi.” Pumperazzi? What’s the next inflection?

“The L.A. coroner’s official cause of death: accidental drowning.”

“What?! Accidental drowning? Do you really think that she wanted to swim in cold water inside a dark tank?” Something is not right here.

“I don’t think that she entered that tank to go for a swim.”

“Suicide?” She read my mind.

“Yeah, very sadly, I think so, Monique. If I had to bet the farm on a cause, well, that would probably be it.”

“Bet the farm?” Monique gave me an inquisitive gaze.

“Oh, it’s just an old American expression. A figure of speech.” That figures.

“Ok, so you vote for suicide as the cause of death, 33?”

“Yeah. While maybe not premeditated, probably something she arrived at.” Arrived at? He’s so odd with his phrasings since he got that darn voice recorder. I’m sure that he has it on now.

“I wonder what was going through her mind. She must have been in pure agony.”

“I agree, 32. I think that she became immersed in a horror movie that she couldn’t get out of. I really think that after she left the elevator for the last time, she wandered down the hallway in a completely freaked-out state of mind, thinking that someone or some thing was chasing her. She then saw a fire escape and made her way out onto it without being detected by hotel staff. She was able to quietly scurry up the metal steps to the roof. Once on the roof, she realized that she was still not safe from the mumo; it was still chasing her and getting closer. She realized that being on the roof was not going to be a sanctuary; it was actually going to be where the phantom would trap and kill her. Thus, she refocused on getting to a safe place and fast. She noticed the four large water tanks on the roof, along with the ladder mounted to the adjacent wall. Then a synapse of recollection fired in her brain: She remembered the movie Dark Water.” What?!

“Wait, wait, wait! Hold on, 33. Halt that hypothesis right there. How do you know that she ever saw the movie Dark Water? Do you have any proof of that? Has such been posted anywhere online?”

“Well, actually I don’t know that she ever saw it, 32, but just hear out my mindset theory. Then you can poke copious holes in it later on, my pscintillating pscanner.” [sic] I bet that he will type up those last words with silent p’s. I can already see the Arial text.

“Ok, continue, Professor Parkaar.” Am I really sounding professorial?

“With a Dutch double-ah?”

“Sure, why knot?” [sic] I wonder if she meant not or knot … or naught?

“Ok, Elisa quickly scales the ladder and gets up onto the left rear water tank. This is where I think her mind shifted from escape and survive to commit suicide and end this nightmare – permanently.”

“Ok, keep going, 33. I’m following your lurid trail.” I wonder if she knows that I have my digital audio recorder on.

“Miss Lam then lifts the heavy hatch door with a rush of adrenaline. She then leaps down into the tank. Sadly, this is where her life ended. That would be my best guess.”

“You think you’ve got a water-tight theory, don’t you, 33?”

“It seems plausible to me, 32. I’m familiar with the psychedelic experience. I could see this playing out in her mind.” Familiar with the psychedelic experience? How many times familiar?

“You crazy American psychonaut!” [sic] Monique shouted. Psychonaut? “Your great theory leaves one thing wide open:  the hatch door!”

“Wham, bam, and slam! Great observation, Monique. That’s one very important detail. I think that’s a wrap. Hungry?” He obviously was recording our conversation. Again. I wonder when he’ll type it up and make copies. Will he post it on the psecret psociety Facebook page? Will he get my thoughts right this time? Oh, I think I need some more coffee.

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Editorial note: This particular rooftop water tank’s hatch door was reportedly discovered in a closed, sealed position by the police.