The Dumbbell's Dictionary by Jack W. Richey - HTML preview

Lexicographer, n. Maker of dictionaries, a la Samuel Johnson, Noah Webster, and of course, Ambrose Bierce. Position I would much like to achieve, but have not and more than likely never will.

LGBT, n. Shorthand for National Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual and Transgender Pride Month.

(Bring on the multicolored flag!) Barak Obama has, for the second year running, proclaimed June as this abomination. It of course represents „diversity and inclusion," and any of us who protests is labeled as merely an intolerant bigot, racist, and a variety of other not so nice terms. All those gender-confused sycophants will surely be thrilled, that is, until the day our economy collapses due to concentration by the powers that be on this frivolous nonsense rather than paying our way and making it work.

Liability lawyers, n. In view of the rapacity of liability lawyers and the huge settlements runaway juries are willing to award in product liability cases, it"s a wonder that this country still contains people who will risk making and selling things. Further, it"s a downright miracle that anyone is still willing to take the risks involved with a new invention.

Liberal, n. Otherwolder. Charles Dickens had the twentieth century American liberal pegged exactly right in his novel, „Bleak House," and I quote: „…that little tornado of conceit and self-righteousness who set herself to rehabilitating the world while she neglected her own family." My take on the modern American liberal Democrat is somewhat as follows. He gets out of bed, demands that someone be available to cook his breakfast, eats his breakfast, then proceeds out of his house to save the world. I contrast this with my envisioning of the conservative, who cooks his own breakfast and, after finishing it, goes outside to help his neighbor build a fence.

Liberal Hubris, n. It has had its day, but that day had not yet come in 1951 when Lionel Trilling, a prominent liberal literary critic, wrote that there were no serious intellectual ideas to be found in modern American conservatism. He was for the most part correct at the time in his assessment.

No more, for he wrote only a few years prior to the advent of conservative intellectuals and scholars with names like Russell Kirk („The Conservative Mind: From Burke to Eliot in 1953), Wilmore Kendall, and Eric Voegelin. And within a few short years, William F.

Buckley (founded National Review in 1955: „Standing athwart history and yelling

“Stop!”), Robert Nisbet, Hadley Arkes, Thomas Sowell and George Will were added to the rolls. And this is to say nothing of Whittaker Chambers" magnificent „Witness,"

published in 1952.

And the ranks continue to grow. Consider George Nash"s monumental „The Conservative Tradition in America since 1945." Were Trilling with us today, he would be constrained 92

to admit that American liberalism has become morally and intellectually bankrupt over the last three decades. (See Emmett Tyrell"s „The Liberal Crackup.)

The „imperial overstretch" of the Great Society sixties, with its doomed attempt to remake both man and society, has come back to haunt its authors. All the new ideas (such as reducing taxes and regulations and balancing the budget) emanate from the other side of the house, none of them breaking faith with Edmund Burke.

Liberalism, n. State of mind which, according to James Burnham in his magisterial

„Suicide of the West," permits Western Civilization to be reconciled to its dissolution. An addendum. More than thirty years ago, in an English paper I wrote while in junior college, I labeled Arthur Schlesinger, Jr. a liberal and then wrote: „That is as it should be." The instructor, also of the liberal persuasion, pounced. It seems that even that long ago, to be labeled with the „L" word was a no-no.

Too bad, for just as there is a mind set and view of the world that can be called conservatism, so there also is a set and view that can be called liberalism. When I challenged the instructor on this point, he had no rejoinder. And please let"s never forget Schlesinger"s obsequious history of the Kennedy presidency, „One Thousand Days."

And further, with all respect to Mike Savage, liberalism is not a mental disorder. It is, quite simply, evil incarnate, composed in equal parts of collectivism, fascism, progressivism, and statism. If ever the progressive/liberal agenda is implemented in its entirety in this country, we will be well on the way to the „Road to Serfdom," for the first rule of liberalism is that government failure always justifies more government. And, our present federal government under Obama is certainly failing.

Liberals, n. As a group, why the herd mentality, groups vs. individuals? Why the constant appealing to the lowest common denominator? Why the catering to man"s lowest basic instincts? The liberal herd mentality can"t stand standards of behavior, and can be counted on to everywhere and every time to label any rebuke of their bad behavior as intolerant and judgmental. (There"s that nasty word again.) And not infrequently, to act like thugs: Witness the radicals at all too many college campuses shouting down conservative speakers. Why are these leftists so afraid to hear the words from across the aisle?

Liberty, n. According to the Founders, that which we need to watch out for on each and every day, lest it be taken from us by increments, and not as an avalanche in one fell swoop. The Obama administration (only one term) is attempting to do just that, that is, incrementally. Welcome home, Health Care!

Liberty versus License, n. They are most definitely not the same thing, the second being a corruption of the first. License says „anything goes," and can readily lead to tyranny.

Liberty, however, must be ordered, must stay within reasonable bounds if it is to be protected. A nineties book titled „No Liberty for License" (The author"s name escapes me.) goes into this problem with great insight.

Liberty versus Safety, n. Ben Franklin reminds us that those who would sacrifice a bit of liberty for the guarantee of safety, deserve neither liberty nor safety.

G. Gordon Liddy, n. Ex CIA agent of Watergate fame, prolific writer, and conservative commentator. His „When I Was a Kid, This Was a Free Country" says it all.

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Lies, n. It"s easy enough to define a lie, but much more difficult to determine why anyone would lie. To say we lie because we are fallen creatures is undoubtedly true, but that is a necessary but not sufficient answer. A part of the human condition that lasts forever?

Whatever the validity of the above, it is a sure bet that any man who lies to you about his private life will also lie to you about his public life.

Life, n. It is intrinsically precious. At what point in the course of an incurable fatal disease has it become no longer precious? How do we make a supportable calculus of quantity of life versus the quality of life? Assisted suicide being beyond the pale, and euthanasia being also beyond the pale, how do we decide whether to use aggressive intervention to prolong a life, versus letting nature take its course, especially when the ill person can no longer communicate with us?

Life of the mind, n. Political liberals should try it.

Life"s Journey, n. It is given to each of us to make life"s journey only once. Why then cannot we treat each other beautifully, each and every day? I ask this so that there will not come a time, further down the road, when we have cause to regret the way we were.

Light bulb, n. Doesn"t weigh as much as a heavy bulb.

Light at the end of the tunnel, n. Light that you face immediately before being run over by a locomotive.

Light Brigade, Charge of, n. Poem by Lord Tennyson, immortalizing the doom of the English cavalry at the guns of the Russians at the Battle of Balaklava in the Crimean War. Sounds like something that could have pulled off by the Obama administration.

Limited Government, n. We no longer live in such a system, having now gone far beyond Theodore Roosevelt, who merely said that he could do anything the Constitution did not expressly forbid. Congress now routinely passes laws that violate Constitutional provisions, which our current Constitution-hating Chief Executive is only too happy to sign into law. And of course, when the Congress does not act quickly enough to embrace his designs, he simply signs another Executive Order by which to bypass that august body. (The federal legislation leading to the authority of the President to initiate Executive Orders did much to undermine the separation of powers at the national level.) Finally, it goes without saying that the Federal Courts can be counted on to reinterpret the Constitution such that what protections are left to the people are being continuously eroded. And on that note, where have we gone as a nation when the Supreme Court rules that the Constitution does not recognize a fundamental right of the individual to contract privately with his doctor? The Constitution was written to limit the powers of government, not the rights of citizens, with whom the ultimate power was supposed to lie.

Limits, n. They do indeed exist. But are they recognized in relation to social problems and governmental issues? I think not, at least not enough, at least by the decision makers in the seats of power, but I would encourage the thinking citizen to understand that there are social problems that are by no means solvable, but are subject to amelioration, for as the science of economics reminds us, there are tradeoffs, which should be taken advantage of. See, for example, Thomas Sowell"s „Vision of the Anointed," and „The Quest for Cosmic Justice."

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Lincoln-Douglas debates of 1858. Having to do with the imposition of slavery in those territories not yet designated states. Lincoln won. But he was trying to replace Douglas in the Senate. That he lost, but more than made up for that loss in the presidential election of 1960.

Lightening, n. Dissipation of mass from a lightning bolt.

Lilliputian, n. Does it pertain to our observable universe? Why not ask Tom Swift?

Limerick, n. Often bawdy verse named after a region in Ireland. Shakespeare swore that the limerick was the noblest form of humor. A few hundred years later came Isaac Asimov, who disagreed, saying that the top spot belonged to the pun.

Limpet, n. A fish with a limp.

Abraham Lincoln, n. America"s second greatest president. He held the Union together, and gave us the Gettysburg Address, which will surely go down in history as one of the most beautiful utterances of any man, whether at peace or war. At the end of the Address, he gave us something to seriously think about. Thus, I wonder whether a government of the people, by the people, and for the people is any longer possible in these United States of America.

Linear Thinking, n. Any liberal who tells you he has a problem with your linear thinking doesn"t have a problem with the thinking being linear, but being yours.

Listless, adj. Condition you will find yourself in if you lose all your lists.

Literacy, n. A state to be desired among at least the majority of the population of a so-called civilized country. Sadly lacking in the United States of America in the Year of Our Lord 2011.

Little Bo Peep, n. She hasn"t really lost her sheep; they"re merely taking a stroll, and becoming pregnant.

A Little Knowledge, n. If it is indeed a dangerous thing, then all too many of America"s students, at all levels, are in no danger whatever.

Little Miss Muffett, n. Sat on her tuffet, her clothing all tattered and torn, for „twas not a spider that sat down beside her, but Little Boy Blue with his horn.

Live Free or Die Hard, n. Title of a recent Bruce Willis movie. Should be the motto of every dedicated and patriotic American.

Liverwurst, n. Some people enjoy it. Others think it reprehensible.

Livery Stable, n. Place where livers are stored.

John Locke, n. Published shortly after the „Glorious Revolution" of 1688, his „Two Treatises of Government, and „Letter of Toleration," helping to set the stage, along with Montesquieu"s exposition on the requirement of three separate and equal, co-ballancers of government, for the evolution of the American Constitution. That said, one cannot help wondering whether his concept of the human brain (mind) as a „Tabula Rasa" did the philosophy of the mind a whole world of good.

Loch Ness Monster, n. Of course it exists, but not in a lake somewhere in Scotland; rather here, in these United States.

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The Logan Act, n. Federal law that prohibits the attempts of private citizens to engage in international diplomacy. Question: Why have Jimmy Carter and Jesse Jackson never been prosecuted for their repeated violations of it? Ah, political correctness!

Logic, n. Science that Obama failed to study either at Columbia or Harvard.

Lolita, n. Vladimir Nabokov"s masterpiece. It is not, as some have viewed it, pornography, but rather a work of art.

Bjorn Lomberg, n. Danish mathematician who set out, with a class of his graduate students, to prove the veracity of the concept of global warming. Didn"t happen. When he and they had completed their research, they determined that so-called anthropogenic cause of increases in global temperature was nonsense. I don"t believe Al Gore listened to him.

Loquacity, n. A pretty good synonym for garrulity.

Lord of the Files, n. The consummate bureaucrat.

Lord of the Flies, n. Otherwise known as Belzeebub: Barak Obama.

Lord Jim, n. With due respect to Joseph Conrad, having higher status than Squire Jim.

Ludicrous vs. ridiculous, adj. What, pray tell is the difference?

Louis XIV, n. Vaunted Sun King of seventeenth century France. Reputed to have said:

„L" etat, c"est moi. If he in fact uttered those words, they would have not been without some justification.

Love, n. Between a man and a woman, is surely a „many splendored thing," provided only that it is sincere and mutually reciprocated. Pardon me if I exclude, purposely, the denizens of the Queer Nation and their followers.

Love, Sex, Death, and the Making of the Male, n. Someone should write a book. Matter of fact, someone already has.

Lucifer, n. Interesting that the direct translation from the Latin means „Light Bringer."

Lunatic, n. Small insect on the moon.

The Lust for Power, n. Defined by Ayn Rand as the weed that only grows in the vacant lots of an abandoned mind.

Martin Luther, n. A great man who almost single-handedly started the Protestant Reformation with the nailing of his ninety-five theses on the door of the church at Wurtemberg. He was also, however, a vain and cruel man, who had no problem at all with the German princes in and around his principality torturing and killing peasants and heretics. That said, however, I borrow from what he said at his trial at the Diet of Wurms.

Thus, in my writings here: „Here I stand. I can do no other."

Lybia, n. Reagan had it right. Obama doesn"t have a clue.

Lying, v. When a citizen lies to a public official, he commits a crime. A congressman lying to the citizens, however, is perfectly ok when he is trying to hide the actual effects and impacts of another federal law.

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Lysergic acid diethyl amide, n. Pace the Beatles, „Lucy in the Sky With Diamonds" just doesn"t get it.

Trofim Lysenko, n. Stalin"s favorite biologist in the 1930"s. A firm believer in the Lamarkian theory of acquired characteristics. Thus, if a female cat loses its tail and then has kittens, they will be born without tails. Should have been easy enough to check, but wasn"t, and consequently set back Soviet biological research by decades.

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General Douglas MacArthur, n. Had it exactly right in saying that there is no substitute for victory. And here is what he had to say to the Cadets at the U. S. Military Academy in May of 1962. „Their story is known to all of you. It is the story of the American man at arms. My estimate of him was formed on the battlefields many, many years ago and has never changed. I regarded him then, as I regard him now, as one of the world"s noblest figures – not only as one of the finest military characters, but also as one of the most stainless. His name and fame are the birthright of every American citizen. In his youth and strength, his love and loyalty, he gave all that mortality can give. He needs no eulogy from me, or from any other man.

He has written his own history, and written it in red on his enemy"s breast. (Sounds a bit like George Patton at this point.) In twenty campaigns, on a hundred battlefields, around a thousand campfires, I have witnessed that enduring fortitude, that patriotic self-abnegation and that invincible determination which have carved his statue in the hearts of his people. From one end of the world to the other, he has drained deep the chalice of courage. As I listened to these songs in memory"s eye, I could see those staggering columns of the First World War, bending on soggy packs on many a weary march, from dawn to dusk to drizzling rain, to slogging ankle through mire of shell-pocked roads, to form grimly for the attack, blue-lipped, covered with sludge and mud, chilled by the wind and rain, driving home to their objective, and for many, to the judgment seat of God.

I do not know the dignity of their birth, but I do know the glory of their death. They died unquestioning, uncomplaining , with faith in their hearts and on their lips the hope that we would go on to victory. Always for them: Duty, Honor, Country. Always their blood, and sweat, and tears, as they saw the way and the light"

Macedonian Phalanx, n. Perhaps the most invincible war machine in Western history until, that is, the ran headlong into a Roman Legion in 196 B. C.

General MacClellan , n. When, after the Battles of Onasssis, One and Two, Otherwise known at the Battles of Bull Run One and Two, which the Union lost, Abraham Lincoln deferentially approached the general and asked, “ If you"re not using the army, could I borrow them?

John D. MacDonald, n. Great popular author of the 1960"s-1970"s, of the Travis McGee series, with always Travis"s cohort, the hairy economist, Meyer. Not too many folks, I would wager, know that he also wrote three splendid novels of science fiction, thus:

„Wine of the Dreamers," „Ballroom of the Skies," and „The Girl, the Gold Watch, and Everything." Stephen King recently called him one of the greatest writers ever.

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Machine Politics, n. American style, they are disgusting, and an affront to democracy, let alone republicanism. Take a look at Boss Pendergast of Missouri, Boss Plunkitt of Tammany Hall in New York City, or the Daley machine in Chicago (hometown of our illustrious leader).

Madness, n. Just what is it? Some have described it as not thinking right. That, however, will not do, for it remains the sad, sad truth that most people don"t think. Else, how could the American electorate have elected Obama?

Mary Magdalene, n. Was she truly such a sinner?

Magnanimity, n. Largeness of mind, precisely what Obama and his minions lack.

Norman Mailer, n. Entertaining novelist of the mid twentieth century, his best work being

„The Naked and the Dead," his novel of the troops in the Pacific Islands during WWII.

Perhaps the most memorable statement of the novel was by a sergeant who said: „The General ain"t so hot. His shit doesn"t smell like ice cream."

Machine, n. Ayn Rand defines it as „…the frozen form of a living intelligence. Can anyone improve on that?

Malaise, n. Jimmy Carter had it. The American people didn"t. He saw Ronald Reagan on the horizon. Kind of goes back to Jeanne Kirkpatrick"s characterization of so many demented liberals as the „Blame America First" crowd. See her „Dictatorships and Double Standards."

Man, n. Ayn Rand tells us this about man: „By the grace of reality and the nature of life, every man is an in himself, and never the means to the ends of others." Immanuel Kant introduced the concept, but never fully articulated it.

Man in the Generic Sense, n. The generic use of the term „man" is verboten in some circles. We shouldn"t use „woman" because it contains „man." We can"t use „human," for the same reason. We can"t even say „huperson," inasmuch as it contains the male „son."

Perhaps we could settle along the lines of „hupersibling." Further, Man is not bloody likely the center of the universe. Consider the light years that would have to be traveled to the Andromeda Nebula, the nearest spiral galaxy to our own Milky Way.

Man who loved women, n. Me.

Man o" War, n. Larger battleship than a Woman o" War.

Man the Measure of All Things, n. If this is true, why does the universe exist?

The Man on Horseback, n. William Manchester, a noted historian described this phenomenon relative to Douglas Macarthur, in a 1970"s tome, as the „American Caesar."

Unfortunately, he was before his time, for he had never heard of Barak Obama.

Manchurian Candidate, n. Barack Obama.

Man-Made Disasters, n. Global warming? Nope. Economic meltdown and constant war against the mind, while refusing to recognize the existence of Islamic terrorists? Oh, yes.

Mao Tse Tung, n. Communist mass-murderer. His „Little Red Book" is a joy to read.

Anyone who can quote you parts of that slim tome is either unearthly, or an absolute butcher.

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Map, n. Useful as it is, or can be, one should always remember that it represents but does not constitute the terrain.

Marc Antony, n. According to Shakespeare, he told the crowd in the Roman Forum that he had come there not to praise Caesar, but to bury him. That didn"t sit too well with Octavian who, in the battle of Pharsalus bested Antony and caused Antony"s death, along with that of Cleopatra, with whom Antony should never gotten involved.

Marathon, Battle of in 480 B.C., n. Battle in which, along with the sea victory at Salamis, saved Western Civilization. Had it and Salamis not been won, we would probably all be speaking Farsi. And this is to say nothing of Leonidas and his three hundred Spartans at Thermopylae. One must wonder whether, under the Obama administration, such defenses would ever have been mounted.

March Hare, n. Earlier than the April Hare.

Marcus Aurelius, n. Last of the „good" Roman Emperors. True Philosopher-King, famous for his Meditations. Perhaps, had he meditated a bit longer, he would not have allowed the Empire to end up in the hands of his son, Commodus, with the ensuing disastrous results.

Margueritaville, n. Been there more than a few times, and indeed managed to lose my jigger of salt.

Marie Antoinette, n. Hapless wife of Louis XVI, who was beheaded shortly after him, after they were caught trying to escape the Terror via carriage. She has been unjustly accused through the remaining centuries of having said, when she was told that the people had no bread, „Let them eat cake." I don"t believe it. She was far too much a lady to have uttered such a despicable an outrage.

Marine Corps Shame, n. From internet news yesterday. It goes like this. Ann Arbor, Michigan. „Victory – Federal Judge Permits Father of Serviceman killed on U.S.S. Cole to Express Opposition to Islamic Terrorism over Objections of Base Commander!" „Jesse Nieto is one of those many unsung patriotic Americans. He served 25 years in the Marine Corps, including two combat tours in Vietnam. His youngest son Marc, and sixteen of Marc"s shipmates were killed on October 12, 2000, by Islamic terrorists who bombed the U.S.S. Cole.

Nieto has worked as a civilian employee at Camp Lejeune Marine Corps Base in North Carolina since 1994." Yesterday, U.S. District Court Judge Malcolm J. Howard delivered good news to Mr. Nieto. He ruled that Camp Lejeune officials violated Nieto"s free speech rights when they ordered him to remove decals attacking Muslim terrorists from his vehicle. Judge Howard enjoined Marine officials from further enforcing the ban against Nieto." „The rest of the story on political correctness run amuck follows."

„Beginning in 2001, to show his anger toward the Muslim terrorists who killed his son, Nieto displayed various decals on his vehicle expressing anti-terrorist sentiments, such as

“Remember the Cole, 12 Oct 2000,” “Islam = Terrorism,” and “We died, they rejoiced.”

Based on a complaint from a Marine who is married to a Muslim, on July 31, 2008, two military police officers (MPs) issued Nieto a ticket for displaying “offensive material.”"

„After Nieto refused to remove the “offending” decals from his vehicle, the Base Magistrate issued Nieto a written order, ordering him to remove his vehicle from the base 99

until all decals were removed and banning his vehicle from all other federal installations.

The order in effect prevented Nieto from driving his vehicle to Arlington National Cemetery (a federal installation) to visit the grave marker of his fallen son."

„As a result of the Marine Corps" unlawful action, the Thomas More Law Center, a national public interest law firm based in Ann Arbor, Michigan, filed a federal lawsuit against the Camp Lejeune Commanding Officer and the Base Magistrate on behalf of Nieto in the U.S. District Court for the Eastern District of North Carolina. The civil rights lawsuit challenged the constitutionality of the military"s ban on Nieto"s speech."

„Richard Thompson, President and Chief Counsel of the Thomas More Law Center, commented, “Political correctness is destroying our military. 9/ll was caused by Islamic terrorists, and our troops are being killed by Islamic terrorists overseas and on our very own military bases; yet, our commanders are more concerned about „diversity" and not offending the Muslim community.

And here, the military re-victimized a father anguishing over the murder of his son by Islamic terrorists because they don"t want to offend Muslims.” During sworn testimony taken in the case, Marine officials admitted they would allow speech that favored Islam, but not Nieto"s speech because they considered it “extremist, indecent, and offensive.”"

„In his opinion, Judge Howard responded to the government"s argument as follows:

“Defendants argue that the regulation is reasonable and necessary because it is aimed at preventing speech the sole intention of which is to enflame the passion of those within the Base command. (I ask: whatever happened to the first amendment clause on freedom of political speech? That clause was not written to protect non-inflammatory speech, but rather speech that has the capacity to enflame emotions.) However, defendants fail to recognize that pro Islamic messages such as „Islam is Peace," and „Islam is Love," may be just as incendiary to individuals like plaintiff as anti-Islamic messages are to the individual who complained about plaintiff"s decals.”"

Robert Muise, Law Center Senior Trial Lawyer Center who handled the case commented:

“As Judge Howard"s well-reasoned opinion makes plain, political correctness and

„diversity" do not justify violating the Constitution. As a former Marine, I am ashamed at the way the Marine Corps treated this grieving father and war veteran. When I told him of the good news yesterday, he was elated. He plans to be back on base with his vehicle early next week."

To which I can only add: God Bless Jesse Nieto, and his son, Marc. God Bless Judge Malcolm J. Howard. God Bless the Thomas More Law Center. Shame on the Marine

Corps. And, to paraphrase Jeremiah Wright: God Damn political correctness! It will, if left unchecked, first kill our military, and then proceed to kill the rest of us. Recognizing that this entry is far and away the most lengthy in this work, so be it, and I am glad of it.

This sort of thing needs to be recognized by what is left of thinking Americans.

Marriage, n. A (one would hope) holy union between one man and one woman, for dual purposes: love, and procreation. If the definition of marriage is expanded to include unions between two men, or between two women, we are eventually doomed. Had the first couple been Adam and Steve rather than Adam and Eve, how many humans would now be inhabiting this planet Earth?

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John Marshall, n. Followed John Jay to become the second and longest serving Chief Justice of the U. S. Supreme Court. In the 1820"s he wrote and delivered the majority opinion in McCullough vs. Maryland, one of the Court"s landmark decisions. The decision forbade the state of Maryland from taxing the Bank of the United States, thereby prohibiting any state from taxing a federal entity, for „The power to tax is the power to destroy." Upon being reminded of this pronouncement, Justice Oliver Wendell Holmes, Jr. bluntly responded: „Not while I sit on this bench."

Karl Marx, n. A very astute German Jew who refused to accept his heritage and, after getting acquainted with Frederick Engels, penned his world-shaking „Capital," as well as the Communist Manifesto. There is no denying that he got a few things right. There is, however, the undeniable conclusion that he got the major things wrong. Welcome Lenin, Stalin, and the entire bloated carcass of the Soviet Union and the client Communist states.

Just goes to show that there is no such thing as the straight arrow of political development. Contingencies arise, as do exigencie