Be honest. You’re here for irony. Lance Manion does a lot of things well, like talking about himself in the third person, but irony is why you’re here.
So buckle up…
Hair: The American Tribal Love-Rock Musical is a rock musical about the hippie counterculture and sexual revolution of the late 1960s. Making its Broadway debut in 1968, it is renowned for its profanity, its depiction of the use of illegal drugs, its treatment of sexuality, and its nude scenes.
hair /her/ any of the fine threadlike strands growing from the skin of humans
“That’s all well and good,” you might be saying to yourself, “but I don’t see any irony there.” Well, Lance Manion does a lot of things well, repeating himself being chief among those, but making things easy is not one of them. You’re going to have to work for it.
Enter the Cypress Cove Theatre Company located in Kissimmee, Florida. And of more import, their decision to stage a production of Hair.
“Nope. We still don’t see it,” you are more than likely grumbling to yourself, parched for irony. Oh ye of little faith. There is still one detail to introduce that should have the scales falling from your eyes.
The Cypress Cove Theatre Company located in Kissimmee, Florida is the country’s only nudist theater troupe. They perform classic renditions of popular plays and musicals in the buff.
Come on now, think about it. What possible difference could there be between actresses performing in the late ‘60s and those treading the boards today? (Note: He originally typed “striding the pines,” confident that this was the correct expression. It was only after a few minutes that it didn’t feel right and was revisited. A quick Googling confirmed the nagging doubt.) (Also note: Lance Manion does a lot of things well, but interrupting his own story with observations that are completely irrelevant to the plot is not one of them.) (And a last note: Particularly when things are building to a climax and the reader needs complete concentration. Sadly, this is also an issue in other areas of his life.)
If you haven’t figured out what the difference is, the actresses involved in the production soon did.
They were going to have to let their pubic regions go back to a state of au naturel.
I want it long, straight, curly, fuzzy
Snaggy, shaggy, ratsy, matsy
Oily, greasy, fleecy
Shining, gleaming, streaming
Flaxen, waxen
Knotted, polka-dotted
Twisted, beaded, braided
Powdered, flowered, and confettied
Bangled, tangled, spangled, and spaghettied!
Hair! Hair! Hair! Hair! Hair! Hair! Hair
Grow it, show it
Long as I can grow it
My hair
There was much giggling amongst them when that realization set in. “I haven’t had a full bush since high school,” one of them noted. They would have to be walking around the nudist colony sporting enormous muffs for the play’s entire run. “Everyone will know who’s in the play from a hundred yards away,” another actress added with a laugh.
You are now free to bask in the irony.
Go on. Soak it up.
(Note: In retrospect it didn’t really have to be a nudist theater troupe as Hair has nude scenes either way. Lance Manion does a lot of things well, but he’s not a strong finisher. Alas, this too plagues his real life. But irony? You want irony? He’s got that in spades.)