‘Oh, we all know what kind of friend. Yes, she is fair.’
Shipra masi called for Rajji mama and Lappa mama’s wives, Kamla and Rajni, respectively.
‘Come, see Krish’s friend. The Madrasin Kavita told us about,’ Shipra masi shrieked.
Rajni aunty and Kamla aunty came over. We exchanged polite greetings. My mother explained how my father had viral fever so he couldn’t come. Everyone knew the truth but nodded in total support. Shipra masi even suggested some medicines.
‘Ananya Swaminathan, aunty,’ Ananya repeated her name to Kamla mami as she hadn’t caught it the first time.
‘You are so fair. Are you hundred percent South Indian?’ Kamla mami asked.
She is also an IIMA pass out and a brand manager at HLL, I wanted to say. But those are things you discuss in Chennai, not at the Taj Palace, Delhi, during the Talreja’s sagan ceremony.
‘By South Indian standards, she is quite pretty,’ Shipra masi added insight.
‘I know, otherwise how black and ugly they are,’ Kamla mami said.
Everyone laughed, apart from Ananya. She had braved a smile all along, but it disappeared. I moved next to her and gently patted her back.
I didn’t want her to react. Smile like a ditz and your chances of being accepted will improve. Sometimes, love is tested in strange ways.
‘The boy’s side has come!’ Kittu, my youngest cousin, came running inside like Amitabh Bachchan had lost his way and rung the doorbell.
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‘Let’s go, let’s go,’ Kamla mami hauled up all the ladies. The ladies deposited their gold sequined bags with Swaran aunty. Her immobility made her an ideal cloakroom.
‘So, what is the surprise gift?’ my mother egged on Kamla aunty.
‘You will see it soon-ji. But the expense has broken our back. Minti’s daddy had to take a loan.’
‘It’s OK, you have only one daughter,’ Shipra masi said as all of them walked out.
Ananya let out a huge sigh after the Punjabi aunty gang left.
‘You OK?’ I said. ‘No, let me guess. You are not OK.’
‘I need a drink, let’s go to the bar,’ Ananya said.
‘But stay a few steps away. I’ll order the drink,’ I said.
We reached the bar. Tinki and Nikki came running to me, their lehngas lifted up to their ankles with their hands.
‘Krish bhaiya, get a full glass of neat vodka. My friends from college have come.’
‘Why can’t the girls take drinks themselves?’ Ananya asked.
Tinki and Nikki turned to Ananya, puzzled. At nineteen and seventeen, they looked overdressed in their designer clothes.
‘Tinki, Nikki, this is Ananya,’ I said.
‘Oh, you are the one,’ Tinki exclaimed.
‘The one who?’ I said.
‘She is your girlfriend, no, Krish bhaiya?’ Nikki said.
I didn’t respond.
‘You are blushing,’ Tinki said, and turned to Ananya. ‘I love your earrings.
Where did you get them from?’
‘Coimbatore,’ Ananya said.
‘Where is that?’ Tinki said.
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‘Tamil Nadu, that is where I come from,’ Ananya said.
‘Stupid, didn’t you read it in geography?’ Nikki scolded her sister and turned to me, ‘Your girlfriend is so pretty. And her sari is also so beautiful.’
‘Thanks,’ Ananya said. ‘Both of you look great. I want a lehnga like that.’
I took a full glass of vodka from the bar and poured it into three glasses. I topped the drinks with Sprite and brought it for the girls.
‘I don’t drink. It’s only for the DJ later,’ Tinki clarified. ‘Anyway I am eighteen now.’
‘You went to IIMA, no? You must be so intelligent. Can girls get into IIM? Nikki said.
‘Of course, why not? What’s it got to do with being a girl,’ Ananya said.
I stepped away from them. The girls talked for the next ten minutes. If nothing else, Ananya had bonded with the younger set of my family. Why was it so much harder to win over the older generation?
‘Where are you?’ my mother’s angry voice cut into my musings. ‘The ceremony is about to start.’
I collected the girls and we went to the stage. Minti sat on the floor of the stage with Duke in front of her. A priest sat alongside.
As my aunts would say, Duke was on the healthier side.
‘He is fat,’ Ananya said flatly.
‘Shut up, someone will hear you,’ I said.
‘Oh, people really are careful about what they say around here,’ Ananya said, sarcasm shimmering in her words like the sequins in her blouse.
‘C’mon Ananya, they are not even aware they are being offensive. You will like them once you know them.’
‘Please, I like your cousins, let me be with them,’ Ananya said, her voice defiant from the vodka.
‘We like her,’ Nikki and Tinki certified as they gave Ananya a hug. Just like men, women too become friendlier after alcohol.
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Duke was indeed fair as milk. The chubby cheeks and fair complexion made him look like a solely Cerelac-fed adult. He wore a shiny maroon kurta, of probably the same fabric as one of Ananya’s mom’s saris. Damn, I was remembering Ananya’s mother here. Focus, I said to myself.
Minti wore an orange lehnga studded with Swarovski crystals and other precious stones. According to my mother, it cost twenty thousand rupees, while the wedding sari had cost thirty thousand. Ten percent of the wedding budget is bridal costumes, my brain made a useless calculation.
The priest chanted mantras. Minti gestured at her cousins to ask if she looked fine.
Nikki put her right thumb tip and index finger tip together to signify she looked fab. Nikki also put her right middle finger on her forehead to show Minti she needed to adjust her bindi. Minti followed the instructions and fixed her bindi with the left hand even as the priest tied a thread on her right. I learnt three facts about women: a) they never lose track of how they look; b) they help each other out by giving instructions in any way possible; and c) they can multi-task. Of course, my mind couldn’t focus on the ceremony. I thought of ways to make my family like Ananya.
Duke pulled out an engagement ring from his kurta pocket. He displayed it for the cameras. A collective sigh ran across the women as they realised it was a solitaire.
‘One-and-a-half-carats at least,’ Shipra masi curated it immediately.
Duke put the ring on Minti’s finger and everyone clapped. Minti gave a shy smile as she brought out a ring, a simple gold band for Duke. She put the ring on him.
‘She looks so sweet,’ Tinki said and the two sisters gave each other hugs, their eyes wet. Women have surplus emotions and they don’t need a big trigger to spill them out.
Duke’s family waited after the ring ceremony in anticipation. Rajji mama took out a little box from his shirt pocket. He passed it on to Duke. Duke refused three times. Rajji mama insisted until Duke accepted it. Duke opened the black box. It had a key with the Hyundai Motors sign on it.
This time the women and men gave out a collective sigh. Yes, Rajji mama had outdone the solitaire.
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‘They’ve given a car,’ Shipra masi said, to make it clear in case somebody hadn’t got it.
Grown-ups from both sides opened their respective sweet boxes and force-fed the other family. All of us went on stage one by one and congratulated the couple.
Minti’s parents gave gifts to all of Duke’s uncles and aunts. Duke’s parents returned the favour. My mother and Shipra masi received a sari each.
‘Show me yours,’ Shipra masi said to my mother. Fortunately, they found them similar. Duke’s parents could not be accused of aunt favouitism.
Rajji mama gloated after everyone complimented him on the masterstroke gift.
‘Uncle, start the DJ,’ Nikki said to Rajji mama.
Rajji mama nodded towards the dance floor. DJ pussycats from Rajouri Garden comprised of two fat surds who had waited hours for that signal. They started with dhol beats. All the younger cousins hit the dance floor. The uncles needed a few more pegs and the aunties needed a few more elbow pulls from the younger kids to come and groove.
‘They gave a car?’ Ananya said in shocked voice even as Nikki dragged her towards the dance floor.
‘Yeah, a silver Santro,’ Nikki said, ‘come no, didi.’
Ananya went with the girls. Her years of Bharatnatyam training made her the best performer on the floor. She picked up the Punjabi steps fast and even taught my cousins a few improvised moves. She looked beautiful in her dark green Kanjeevaram . Like an idiot, I fell in love with her all over again.
‘Have you eaten dinner?’ my mother came up next to me.
‘Er …no,’ I said, peeling my eyes away from the floor.
‘Then eat fast, we won’t get an auto home,’ my mother said.
‘We will buy a car soon,’ I said.
‘Like your father will let us have one. Anyway, why should we take? Kamla said we shouldn’t buy anything major until you get married. We don’t want duplicate items.’
‘Mom,’ I protested.
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‘Go fast, the paneer will get over. And tell your friend to eat.’
I waved at Ananya to come eat with me. She panted as she walked with me to the buffet. I put black daal, shahi paneer and rotis on my plate. Ananya took yellow daal and rice.
‘That’s it?’
‘That’s all I like,’ she said.
There was a commotion at the bar. Duke and his friends were fighting with the bartender.
‘What happened?’ I asked.
‘They are not making the pegs large enough. Duke’s friends are upset,’ an onlooker said.
Rajji mama intervened. The hotel staff had foreseen that the whisky may run out and so had started doling out smaller quantities. There were no extra bottles of that brand even in the hotel. Rajji mama took out a wad of notes and gave it to the hotel staff. A waiter was sent to the Delhi border to fetch the whisky. Like always, money soothed nerves and everyone became cheerful again.
‘This is a wedding?’ Ananya said.
‘Of course, that’s how all weddings are. Why, your side has it different?’ I said.
‘You bet,’ Ananya said.
We bade goodbyes to Rajji mama and Kamla aunty. As I walked out with my mother and Ananya, Shipra masi called me.
‘Yes, aunty,’ I said.
‘Listen, you are our family’s pride. Don’t do anything stupid. These Madrasis have laid a trap for you.’
‘Good night, aunty,’ I said.
‘See, I am saying it for your benefit. Your mother has suffered, make her happy. You can get girls who will fill your house with gifts.’
I bent down. If all else fails with kin, touch feet.
‘What did Shipra masi say?’ Ananya asked me.
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‘She said to make sure Ananya is dropped home safe,’ I said as I stopped an auto.
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46
I met Ananya at Punjabi by Nature in Vasant Vihar. I should have thought of a better-named venue, given her current mental state. However, the location was convenient and the food excellent.
‘What is the point of me attending these family events, I feel so awkward,’
Ananya began.
‘It’s one more ceremony – the actual wedding. Don’t worry, tomorrow my aunts will be more used to you. Once my mother sees them accepting you, she is more likely to say yes.’
‘I think she wants a set of car keys more than anyone’s approval,’ Ananya said.
‘No, my mother is not like that. She doesn’t want the car, but she wants her siblings to appreciate she managed a car. Get it?’
‘Not really,’ Ananya shook her head.
The waiter came to take the order. We ordered one paranthas, which came with enough butter to stop your heart instantly. We ate dinner as we contemplated our next move.
‘Sir, would you like to try our golgappas with vodka?’ the waiter said.
‘What?’ Ananya said.
‘No thanks,’ I told the waiter and turned to Ananya. ‘It is a gimmick. Trust me, Punjabis don’t do that on a regular basis.’
‘I am going back to Chennai in two days,’ Ananya said.
‘I know. But I will speak to mom, maybe even my uncles, after the wedding. I want to lock this in,’ I said.
‘What about your dad?’ Ananya said.
‘He won’t agree. We’ll have the wedding without him. Aren’t mom’s side relatives enough?’
‘They are more than enough. Each talks more than ten of my relatives. Still.’
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‘Ananya, you can’t get everything in life. Your parents, my mom, relatives – we have enough blessings. My father is not required.’
‘You should talk to him though. He’s your father,’ Ananya said.
‘Isn’t the food great?’ I said as I rubbed butter on my paranthas.
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47
Minti’s final wedding ceremony gave new meaning to the expression over the top.
Real elephants and ice sculpture fairies greeted us at the entrance. The boy’s side had not yet arrived. Patient ushers waited with trays of flower petals. We shuffled through landscaped gardens with two dozen dolphin-shaped fountains to reach the main party area. The caterer had chosen a world theme. Food stalls served eight cuisines – Punjabi, Chinese, home-style Indian, Thai, Italian, Mexican, Goan and Lebanese – with at least five items in each genre. Apart from these, there were two chaat stalls – one for regular eaters and other for health-conscious guests. The regular counter served samosas and tikkis, while the health counter had sprouts-stuffed golgappas. My aunts took both, one for the taste another for health.
There were two bars. The first bar had a giant Johnny Walker Black Label magnum cask. All uncles congregated here and waiters kept bringing in a regular supply of paneer tikkas and hara bhara kababs. The second bar was the mocktail bar, nicknamed the ladies bar. It had a large display shelf with two dozen glasses of different shapes and filled with psychedelic fruit drinks.
‘Beautiful, Rajji, you have held the family name high,’ my mother said, admiring the flower arrangements on the bridal stage.
‘These orchids have come from Thailand. Just landed two hours ago from Bangkok,’ Rajji mama said.
‘Fifty thousand is just the flowers bill’ Shipra masi said. We raised our eyebrows to express suitable awe.
My cousin Rohan came running in to tell us that the baraat had arrived. We went outside and stood next to the elephants to receive them. Rohan gave me a pink turban, something all brothers and close male relatives wore to receive the groom.
‘You look cute,’ Ananya grinned.
All turbaned men posed for pictures with their equivalent counterparts from Duke’s side. I had a picture clicked with Prince, Duke’s cousin. Minti’s father grinned as he hugged Duke’s father for a picture. Duke’s father frowned.
‘Why is the boy’s father so serious?’ Ananya said.
‘Maybe he is hungry,’ I said. We soon found out I was wrong. Duke’s family did come inside and sat on the sofas. However, they refused to touch anything to eat.
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‘One cold drink-ji,’ Kamla mami begged Duke’s mother, who shook her head.
“We are not hungry,’ Duke’s father said. Duke, his parents and a dozen close relatives sat on the sofas next to the stage. Half a dozen waiters stood by with trays but the boy’s side ate nothing.
‘The snacks are not hot, go get fresh ones,’ Minti’s father screamed at the waiters. His anger was misplaced. The boy’s family had not refused food because of its temperature.
‘Ask what’s the matter. Something is wrong,’ Shipra masi said.
‘Who will ask?’ Rajji mama said. ‘They are not saying anything.’
Kamla aunty wore a worried expression. Ten minutes passed.
‘What’s going on?’ Ananya said.
I shrugged. Shipra masi told the younger cousins to move back. She folded her hands and went to Duke’s father. He looked the other way.
Ananya and I stepped back a few metres. We could see the elders but not hear them.
My mother and her two brothers folded their hands in front of Duke’s parents.
Like a landless farmer, they waited for the feudal lords to respond. A few minutes later, one of Duke’s aunts spoke to my mother.
My mother nodded as she listened carefully. After Duke’s aunt finished, my mother came back to huddle with her siblings.
‘This is too much drama. I have to know what’s going on,’ Ananya said.
I pulled my mother aside.
‘It’s the Santro,’ my mother said.
‘What? It doesn’t start?’
‘Be serious, Krish.’
‘Sorry, what happened?’
‘Some misunderstanding has occurred. When Rajji gave the Hyundai keys, Duke’s parents thought it was Hyundai Accent. But it was a Hyundai Santro.
Accent costs five lakh, Santro only three lakh.’
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‘I thought it was a gift,’ Ananya said.
If my mother found Ananya’s entry into the family conversation odd, she was too preoccupied to dwell on it.
‘Yeah, wasn’t it a surprise?’ I said.
‘What do you think this is Krish? A birthday party? Everyone knows the surprise. Duke’s parents had already announced the Accent to their family. They are feeling insulted and cheated.’
It is amazing how people can feel insulted even after being welcomed by elephants.
‘Now what?’ I said.
‘Nothing, they are saying no wedding until Rajji changes the car.’
‘Can he?’ I said.
‘He is already broke doing this wedding. But what choice does he have? He has promised them he will.’
‘Then why are they sitting there with sullen faces?’ I said.
‘They want a guarantee. Duke’s father wants the difference in cash right now.’
‘Now?’ I said.
Ananya’s eyebrows went up and stayed there as she didn’t know how to react.
Shipra masi called my mother again and the elders held animated discussions.
‘Is this fo