13. Learn How To Listen Actively
Learning to actively listen, could be one of the best skills you could ever learn. Many of us suffer with having to make heart breaking decisions or go through troubling times at some point in our lives. In fact, depression is very common with more people dying annually from suicides than all the world’s conflicts. Having someone to talk through your problems with and listen to you, is immensely helpful.
Actively listening, means really showing the other person you are listening and fully understanding and grasping their message. Here’s some tips to help you become a good active listener:
Ø Show you’re listening by responding with nods of the head, ‘yeah’ and ‘uh-huh’.
Ø Look directly at the speaker and give them your full, undivided attention.
Ø Try to notice the body language; as the speaker is talking is there any-thing that seems to worry them as they talk about it or anything they seem excited about?
Ø Ask questions when necessary to ensure clarity around what they are discussing with you.
Ø Allow the speaker to finish before asking any questions.
Ø Paraphrase to show the speaker you understand what they’re saying.
Ø Be honest but careful not to offend in your response; another person’s perspective is often valuable.
Ø Don’t always jump to give advice. The speaker is the one who will know the best way to handle the situation taking into account all the facts, who it affects and what they are prepared to do. The best way to help is to listen and ask powerful questions such as ‘what do you want to do?’ or ‘what are your options?’
Ø Try to be as non-judgemental as possible; focus on why the person has ended up in this situation more than the situation in which they are in.