I SMELL POT
My friend George is in the hospital. It's a small one that serves the desert community. They don't have many patients so he has his own room. Now as you know George is a pothead of the first magnitude so after a few days there he wants some smoke and tells me to tell everyone who comes to visit him to bring some which after that we all do. Usually we get him a wheel chair, wheel him outside so he can toke up without the authorities any the wiser. But there was this one time.
Kelly and I walk into George's room and he tells us to sit down because he has a good one to tell us.
It seems that Indian Johnny was there to visit George right before we showed up and and brought George a hooter to smoke. George says, “I didn't feel real good and the weather is kind of cold today so I told Johnny just to fire it up here. He asks if it's okay and I tell him sure. The nurses never come around this time of day. So Johnny opens the window and we stand next to it and suck that puppy down.”
“A few minutes Johnny says he has to go so...”
“Anyway, he's not gone more than 5 minutes when my nurse comes in and says loudly, “I smell pot!” and gives me the evil eye.
“So I gotta think fast saying, “You smell what?”
“She says someone has been smoking weed in this room and she want to know if it was me.”
“I look her in the eye and lie like a motherfucker saying, “Sorry, but you know I don't have no sense of smell anymore so I didn't know my last visitor was smoking reefer I thought he was smoking a cigarette.”
“My nurse tells me she does remember I lost my sense of smell but it's illegal to smoke anything in a hospital and I should know that. I tell her I just forgot.”
“Then she wants to know who it was and I give her some phoney name. But she knows what Johnny looks like so tell him not to visit anymore.”
Kelly and me are laughing like crazy and congratulating George on his quick thinking.
He looks real proud of himself then say to us, “I know you brought me a joint, Tai, so go get me a wheelchair.” And I did.