MY ANIMA
I've seen her a lot and have actually met her quite a few times. Even though she appears as a different woman, she always looks the same and we recognize each other instantly every time. She's in her mid 20's to early 30's, is tall, between 5'7" and 5'10". She has long straight blond hair and blue eyes. She's slim and sometimes small breasted but sometimes a little more voluptuous with larger breasts and hips. Since she's tall she has long arms and legs. And she's always smiling. The funny thing is even though I have been with her on numerous occasions I've never had sex with her. When ever I have been with her it hardly even crosses my mind because I feel complete just being around her.
The first time I met I was on a ferry between Bremmerton and Seattle. I’d been roaming around the Olympic Peninsula hitching the roads and hiking the forests. Talk about green and lush, it is a true rain forest, the only one not in the tropics that I've ever been in and I was very impressed. There's nothing quite like worshipping in the Green Cathedral. We saw each other right after we boarded. I walked over to her and we looked into each other’s eyes and just knew. We sat together and chatted on our way across the sound. She was from Port Orchard, married with two kids, on her way to Seattle to go shopping for the day since I had nothing better to do I asked her if I could join her. Of course, she said yes. We spent the next 4 hours together mostly just being with one another then it was time for her to catch the ferry back. I walked her to the terminal and we kissed good bye. She got on the ferry and sailed away.
The next time we met it was in a health food store on Maui. Again we see one another and it's instant. We start talking, she's been on Maui for a couple years living with her boyfriend. They have a small house on the other side of Haiku just a few miles from my tree house. We have lunch together then she off back to home. She offers me a ride and I accept. She drops me at my trail and drove away. I saw her and her boyfriend a dozen times after that and she always had the time to stop and chat or to offer me a ride. She told me once that her boyfriend was jealous of me because he knew that something was going on between us and even if it was innocent, he didn't like it. He didn't like the way we looked into each other’s eyes as we talked. She said that she told him that he was just being paranoid and to cut the crap. She said that he wouldn't understand anyway.
The time after that I met her on an airplane, San Diego-San Francisco. Fate had seated us together. As soon as I sat down next her she looked into my eyes and said how she was to have me with her because she had never flown before and was really nervous. I told her I had flown thousands of mile with nary a mishap (which was lie) and that she'd be fine. During the flight she held one of my hands the entire way and put the other one down the front of her jeans Al Bundy style. We talked and she told me that she was on her way to join her boyfriend who she'd Been living with in San Diego. He had been transferred to San Francisco and had found an apartment for them. She said that if it had been up to her she would've taken the train but he had sent her the air ticket so she thought she'd try flying. She said she didn't think she would try it again. On landing she asked me to hold her then buried her face in my shoulder and kept it the until the plane stopped. When we de-planed there was her boyfriend waiting to meet her. When she saw him, she ran up to him, threw her arms around him and gave him a big kiss then told him how if it wasn't for me she didn't know if she'd have made it. We shook hands, he then thanked me and offered me a ride into the City which I gladly accepted.
The next time was the best. I was high up in the Rocky's in Colorado camping in the woods a little ways away from a small two lane county road. It was early morning and I was meditating I my tent, the mosquitoes being to bad to do it outside, when a voice said to me, "It's time to go". I immediate pack up and left. As soon as I stepped out onto the road a car came down the road, pulled over and stopped. I went up to it and looked in and we saw each other.
She got out of the car, came around the front, hugged me then looked into my eyes and said, "I knew there was a reason for me to take this back road and here you are." She told me that she was on her way from Denver on her way to get married to her fiancée’ who'd just move out to LA and would I like to join her on the drive to California.
I said I’d be happy to and got in. There wasn't much room, she had it packed to the gills. After that she drove to the nearest freeway now that she had found me there was no reason for her to dawdle. We spent the next two days and nights together, talking, driving, sleeping on the side of the road in the trees side by side in our sleeping bags and just enjoying being together for this short time. On the third day we reached LA. She told me that she wanted me to meet her fiancée but I said no. It'd be better just to part company now, our time together was over. She drove me to the bus station to drop me off. When we got there we hugged, kissed and said good bye. She started crying and said she would never forget me, got in her car and drove away into her new life.
The time after that was on a Greyhound bus. I was riding from Seattle to Eugene, a city I liked to visit before hitching south to the City. I got on about half way through Washington when she boarded and she saw me, walked down the aisle then sat right next to me saying, “Glad you're here. I thought I would have to ride alone." She had been on a one week Yoga/meditation retreat, which she found boring and pretentious mainly because she said, she felt that the instructors attitudes was, "Hey, I’m enlightened and you are not. And I could not care less if you were.” She said even the food was skimpy and served cold. She said she guessed it was suppose to help you overcome the material plane, but it just made her nervous and hungry. She was from Portland, married with no kids. She said that she had a good job and was basically happy enough but felt that something was missing in her life so she had tried the yoga retreat.
I told her to keep the yoga and meditation up because they would work sooner or later. We talked until the bus reached Portland then she kissed me on the cheek, said good bye and got off the bus. I waved bye-bye from the window as she walked away.
The last time I saw her I was in Germany. I’d spent the summer bicycling around Europe, which was really great. I’d bicycled Southern England, the west coast of France, Northern Spain, the Riviera up the Rhone Valley, over to Paris, up to Brussels. Then to Amsterdam, the hippest city in the world, up to Groenig, then over into Germany. Bicycling is the best and cheapest way to see Europe. Everybody bicycles there so everyone is real helpful and friendly, even the French. There are campgrounds in even the smallest villages and if you're not in a town, any field or woods will do. In three months of traveling I only got yelled at once. In Lyon I was riding through a freeway tunnel and the cops told me to get the hell out of there. The biggest bonus was the food. When you are doing 60 to 100 klicks a day, you eat and drink whatever you want all day long and still stay slim and trim. If I found a bakery with extra good chocolate eclairs (my favorite pastry) I would eat a half dozen or more and never think twice about the calories. My usual diet was fresh fruit, yogurt and coffee with cognac for breakfast; fresh fruit, yogurt, bread and cheese, a chocolate bar and beer for lunch; and fresh fruit, yogurt, bread, cheese and sausage and a full bottle of wine for supper with a lot of snacks in between. Yes sir, bicycling in a mighty fine way to go.
I tried it in the US once, bicycling from Bremmerton around the Olympic peninsula, down the coast to Eureka in California then inland down to the City one summer but it wasn't a 10th as much fun, way too many hassles with "the authorities". Anyway...
I am sitting outside of a really small market at a crossroads enjoying the morning sun, eating a mint cream filled dark chocolate bar when she peddles up on her bike, sees me, gets off, parks then comes right over to me and sits down next to me saying, "Would you like to share your chocolate with me?"
I smile into her eyes and give her half of what's left then we eat together in silence.
After we're finished she says that after she does her shopping, she would like it if I came over to her house, see her garden and drink some tea but we have to hurry because she left her year old son asleep in his bed. We bike back to her place, an old German farm house in the country sitting amid the fields by itself. She checks on her baby then makes us tea. We sit around chatting until her son wakes up.
He take an instant liking to me so I hold and play with him awhile then we all go out to sit in the garden. She tells me that her husband will working late so I can hang out with her and the kid all day if I like then spend the night. I ask if her hubby will mind us spending the day together.
She blows air out of her lips the way Germans do, and says "Und vhy should he?" so she, her son and I spend a very pleasant day with one another. She makes us supper then puts the baby to bed. We just talk until her husband comes home at 11 p.m.
She introduces us but he says he's tired and says he will see me in the morning then goes to bed. She shows me where I can sleep in the attic then gets me some bedding and says good night. Next morning we all have breakfast together. They say that they have to go to town that day and that I can either go with them or hang out there. I tell them that I have to pump at 60 K’s of iron by sundown that day or I just won’t feel right. They tell me to stop by again if I ever pass by. I say thanks for the hospitality, she kisses me on the cheek and says good bye and good luck. I get on my bike and peddle away.
I have met my anima other times too but not always in my waking reality. I’m pretty conscience in my dreams now and can remember most all of them upon waking. My anima in my dream reality is always the same woman and I’ve dreamed of her many times. In fact, I have only dreamed of Kelly more. My dream anima is nothing like my waking anima. She too is in her late 20’s but is short with a very womanly figure. She has long black full bodied hair and Mediterranean skin with dark eyes and full lips like a southern Italian. She is always wears an embroidered white peasant dress and is always in the same place when I visit her. She is in a bare room with white walls and a polished dark wooden floor covered by a multicolored rug. The only furniture is a couch made of wood with brightly colored cushions and a wooden rocking chair. When I enter the room she is sitting in the rocking chair, she then gets up, takes my hand and leads me over to the couch where we sit together. She smiles and looks deeply into my eyes. We just sit there in one another’s company never saying a word, at peace and in communion. After awhile I kiss her on her cheek then get up and leave. Perhaps one day she will speak to me. I wonder what she will say?