HOMELESS IN AMERICA
It’s the beginning of summer, my lover Kelly and I are camping way out in the woods in our VW van on a spur of an abandoned logging road miles from the nearest town on some BLM land. We’ve been here for over a month and except for when a car passes by on the logging road, a quarter mile away which only happens a couple times a week, we haven’t seem one other single soul. We go to town a few times a week for ice, supplies and to visit our friends but other than that we just hang out enjoying the beauty of nature happening all around us.
It’s a lovely Monday morning. Kelly’s having coffee and I’m not even out of bed yet when a light green Bronco cruises by on the logging road. It slows down then turns around coming back towards us. It turns onto the spur and pulls up right next to us. I can see that it’s a BLM Ranger car. Kelly sits there while the Ranger gets out of his vehicle. I, seeing this, get up and quickly throw on a pair of pants. I greet the Ranger then ask what he wants since we’re not doing anything illegal. Why, we don’t even have an open fire, we cook on a propane stove.
The Ranger tells us that he the head of Enforcement for this district and he wants to know what we are doing here.
Camping, I tell him.
He asks if I know that there’s a 2 week a year stay limit in his district.
I ask if he’s joking because every where else in the US the stay limit is 2 weeks a month. I figure he thinks I don’t know the law and won’t question his authority.
He informs me that in his district it’s 2 weeks a year. And by the way, just how long have we been here?
I look him in the eye, smile and lie, “Only a week, officer.”
He says he don’t like my attitude so lets see some ID.
I show him my driver’s license with a PO Box for an address.
He looks it over then asks where we psychically live.
I tell him in the van.
He asks if we’re homeless.
We are, so what?
So, he says, it is illegal to live on either BLM land or on any Federal lands. Now he smiles as he tells us that either we leave right now or he will ticket us for living on Federal property.
I start arguing with him that we have same the right as any American citizens to use any Federal lands as long as we follow the rules.
He agrees saying we can use BLM land for day use but it is totally illegal for any homeless person to sleep at night on Federal property, because the Federal Government doesn’t want to seem to friendly to the homeless.
Now Kelly jumps in wanting to know just what the hell he meant by that!
He tells her if they let the homeless sleep on Federal lands then the homeless might just try to set up shop, start living on Federal property permanently. Then they’d become a real problem, not for only the BLM, but for the regular folks who want to use the lands as well. The Ranger then asks Kelly for her ID.
As he writes down all our particulars in his notebook I ask him if the 2 week limit applies to day use.
He says no, we can be here every day if we want but only from sunrise to sunset, if he catches us anywhere on BLM land after dark then he will arrest us and take us straight to jail. Plus since he now knows we’re here, he’s going to make it a point to start cursing the area at night. Now, are we leaving or is he going to issue us a ticket?
I tell him it’s daytime.
He says since I’ve already admitted that we spent last night here, we can’t stay here today. We have to leave. And if I don’t stop arguing with him, pack up and leave right away then he will take us to jail where we will sit for a few days then we can tell it to the judge. So what’s it going to be?
I’m pissed. I’m pretty sure he’s lying to me about either the 2 week stay limit or the no homeless sleeping on Federal lands policy, or both, but it ain’t worth spending time in the greybar hotel over especially since that would only get Kelly mad at me. I tell him we’ll leave. The Ranger relaxes but says he’ll stay until we’re ready to go just to make sure we don’t get lost.
Man, I am really pissed off. How dare that scum sucking pig fuck with us when we weren’t even doing anything wrong! As soon as we get to town I call Legal Aid. I tell them the story. They tell me to come right over. Kelly and I meet with a paralegal. We tell him the story. He informs us that it’s true, there is only a 2 week a year limit on BLM land in this district but in the National Forests it’s still 2 weeks a month. Also, he tells us that just last month went through this with the Forest Service. It seems they had been kicking homeless people out of the National Forests for quite a while until one of the homeless had come to here to complain about it.
Legal Aid had threatened to sue the Forest Service unless they immediately cut the crap. The Forest Service then backed off saying that from now on, all would be welcomed in the National Forest on an equal basis as long as they followed the rules. Now, he says, he’s going to have to go through it all over again with the BLM. He calls the US Congressman for the district and informs him about the situation. He then calls the Ranger. He tells us if he can get the Ranger to say to him that the homeless aren’t allowed to camp on BLM land then Kelly and I will have the basis for a suit. And not against the Ranger personally, but the BLM and the Federal Government as well for an act of blatant discrimination. Unfortunately the Ranger’s not in. Then he calls the Director of the BLM for the district informing him that unless the situation is rectified immediately then he will be turning our complaint over to the Legal Aid attorneys. The Director of the BLM tells him that he has to talk with the Ranger first so how about a face to face meeting in a week. The paralegal tells him that is acceptable and hangs up. The paralegal tells us to come back in a week.
A week later I show up at Legal Aid. Kelly told me she’d had enough fun with the law. She’d rather hang with some friends of ours, smoke some weed and get high. The paralegal is ready to go. With him are not one but two lawyers who will be the ones to argue the case. On the way over the lawyers tell me that they’re constantly getting cases like this. All law enforcement officials, whether it be private, local, state or federal, are always hassling the homeless and most of the time they do so illegally counting on the homeless to be either ignorant of the law or easily frightened by authority. The cop’s attitude is simple; let’s move the trash along. Right before we get to the district BLM office one of the lawyers asks the other if he wants to be the good cop or the bad cop. I laugh, it’s always the same game.
As soon as we enter the secretary calls the Director of the BLM. He immediately enters the waiting room and informs us that there’s a conference room for us to talk in. In the conference room we are all introduced to the Ranger, two BLM lawyers and an observer from the congressman’s office. The Director says he’ll start the proceedings as all the lawyers turn on tape recorders. Right away he starts lying. He says he’s talked to the Ranger, and the Ranger has assured him that he most certainly did not tell me that homeless people are not allowed to camp on BLM land. Why, I must have simply misunderstood him. The Ranger only told me about the stay limit.
I get pissed! I stand up and yell out, “Either you or the cop is a liar! He told me homeless people ain’t never allowed to camp on BLM...”
The Ranger interrupts me saying,. “I never said that! You misunderstood me that’s all...”
I interrupt the Ranger shouting, “Liar! You are a fucking liar!”
The Director says, “Calm down! Calm down both of you.” Then turning to me he says, “Please take your seat, and there’s no need for name calling.”
One of my lawyers grabs my arm telling me to calm down. I sit back down saying to the Director, “Do you think that I am so stupid that I don’t understand English? Or maybe you think I’m a trouble maker who made this all up just to have some fun.”
The Director says he doesn’t think I’m either of those.
I say, “Well then, either me or the cop is a liar.”
Now one of the BLM’s lawyers says, “No one is calling anybody a liar. What we’re saying is that you just misunderstood the Officer, that’s all.”
I say, “It’s pretty hard misunderstanding a cop with a gun telling you to get off of BLM land or you’re going to be arrested, isn’t it?”
Now one of the Legal Aid lawyer’s jump in saying, “Look, as I’m sure you already know, we recently went through this same thing with the Forest Service about the homeless in National Forests. And, as you also know, it was established that you can not discriminate against them. They have the same rights as any other citizen of the United States to use Federal lands. So let’s cut to the chase and forget about this particular case for a minute. We want your assurance that there will be no more “misunderstandings” with the homeless in this district ever again.”
The Director and his lawyers confer a moment. Then all the lawyers have a discussion for another 15 minutes about the law and the homeless. Finally, the Director of the BLM states for the record that from this point forward he will make certain that no discrimination will ever take place against the homeless again in this district.
Everyone relaxes and seems satisfied, except me. I ask what about what happened to me.
Now even the Legal Aid lawyers seem to be on the BLM’s side telling me the situation has been rectified and from now on I will have no more problems with the BLM. Right, they ask the Director.
He agrees. Then, smiling at me, he tells me that I am welcome on BLM land and as long as I follow the rules I won’t have any more problems.
I ask him what about the cop lying.
The Ranger, not looking at me says, ”I’m sorry if this little misunderstanding caused you any trouble.”
I say, “There wasn’t any little misunderstanding...”
But one the BLM lawyers break in saying, “Well, I guess that about wraps it up.”
After a little more discussion then few pleasantries, everyone but me shaking hands. The meeting is over. We leave.
As we’re walking to the car I say, “That cop was lying, he..”
One of the lawyers interrupts saying, “Of course he was, cops always lie. Did you expect him to admit to breaking federal laws. If he had you could have sued his ass. In any event, we got what we wanted.”
I’m still a little mad and say so.
He tells me to get over it then says, “If you want to see if you can get them to discriminate against you again, go back to the same place you were camping and stay there until they harass you. If they threaten you with a ticket, make them write it. If they threaten you with jail make them arrest you and take you in. Then give us a call and we’ll represent you. Also, from now on you should always carry a tape recorder with you and anytime you have to deal with anyone in authority, tape the entire conversation. Don’t do it covertly either. Always let them see the recorder and let them know that you are taping them. You’d be surprised how much respect and how much less bullshit you’ll get. They’ll be so cautious, courteous and correct with you, you’ll think they’re kissing your ass. If everyone taped their conversations with the authorities then we lawyers would have a whole lot less to do.” Ever since then I have always taped any conversation I’ve had with anyone in authority and I must say, that lawyer was 100% right.
The next day Kelly and I went back to the woods and camped in the same exact place. No one bothered us there for the next 3 months. Every now and then we’d see a Ranger’s Bronco cruise by, but not one of them ever stopped.
It’s the beginning of autumn, my lover Kelly and I are camping on that same road when Kelly tells me there’s a light green Bronco coming our way. I get out of the van holding my new mini tape recorder and wait. Looks like it’s time to see what’s what. I turn the recorder on but instead of the head Ranger, a different one emerges from the vehicle.
He sees the recorder then says hello. He tells us he’s looking for a guy who’s been running around up here threatening people and stealing things. He describes the guy and his car then asks if we’ve seen him.
I tell him we haven’t.
He tells us to be careful if we see the guy, he might be armed, and he’d appreciate it if we did see him, to report it.
I tell him thanks for the info. Then, just for fun, I lie telling him we’ve only been camping here a few days and are planning to leave soon.
He says, “I don’t want to know anything about how long you’ve been here or when you’re planing to leave.” then he turns to leave.
Before he does I ask what happened to the head Ranger.
He says,’ Oh, he was transferred to Yuma, Arizona for the summer. They needed him down there, but he’ll be back next month. Good day now.” He gets back into his Bronco and leaves.
I laugh as I tell Kelly, “They needed him in Yuma. What a joke! There’s nothing down there in the summer time except for a few desert rats who can just barely stand the daily 120 degree temperatures. I hope he’s not suffering to badly.” and laugh some more. Kelly laughing too, tells me I shouldn’t be so vindictive. Then she lights a joint, takes a hit and passes it to me as we enjoy all the beauty that’s surrounds us.