I'm up at the crack of dawn in search of the elusive wild majick mushroom. You've got to get up early or the local kids beat you to the field picking them all, then you’ll have to buy them. My girlfriend Kelly and I are in a very pretty little village on a peninsula on the island of Java called Panganduran. To get here from Yogakarta we had to take a mini-bus for a few hours. Next an inland waterway river taxi for another three hours which stopped at every little village along the way and played bing-bong music for the whole journey, then another mini-bus for additional hour. A very pleasant and scenic journey. Panganduran supports itself through tourism and fishing. The tourists come for the seafood, the beaches, the coral reef and a national park that covers the south half of the peninsula, which is full of monkeys, birds and some wild water buffalo that live in dense jungle. The main thing the fishermen catch is; fish, squid, lobster and more lobster. We've rented a room in a house that's made like a bungalow out of coconut wood with a palm frond roof but it's big with three bedrooms, two bathrooms, a two story high living room and a full kitchen.
Each morning we go to the lobster market and buy two kilos of small size lobsters for $2.50 a kilo. The bigger ones cost double or even triple that so mostly the hotels buy them. Next we hit the fruit market buying at least a kilo each of what’s ever available which might include: mango, jackfruit, selak, longsat, mangosteen, chiramioya, custard apple, rambutan, passion fruit, lichi, and guava plus any other tasty looking fruit there is to try. Yes, Kelly and I eat at least ten kilo’s of fresh delicious tropical fruit each and every day. This may sound like a lot of fruit but like the lobster it's mostly waste; rind, seeds and other inedible parts. Indonesia has more fruit and more different kinds of fruit than anywhere else in the world I've ever been. While other countries might have a dozen or so varieties ripe at any one time. A big fruit market during season in Java will have a hundred different kinds from the usual, such as pineapple and watermelon, to the truly exotic like durian, which on the outside looks like a spiky football. However, the inside looks and smells just like wet yellow baby turds but tastes like a creamy butterscotch from heaven. They even have so many avocados they just juice them.
Anyway, we take the lobster and fruit home. The fruit we just peel and eat. For lunch we fix the lobster a different way each day. Sometimes we boil them then dip them in butter, other times we'll fry them in tamarind or chili. I do feel sorry for the poor little devils as I plunge them head first into the boiling water but a man's got to eat, and they do taste so good. We'll then serve them with rice or noodles. For supper we go to a fish restaurant and each have an entire Silver Pomfit that weights over a pound. The cooks fast fry the fish in butter, pepper and garlic then serve it with rice, chili sauce and salad, and all for only $2.00.
We've been here for over two weeks and will stay until our visa’s runs out. This is really a cheap and best place. We get it all for only about $20.00 a day and that even includes a bottle or two of Bintang, a very good local beer. We spend our days eating, reading, laying on the beaches, hiking the jungle, swimming in either the ocean or the rivers then checking out all the little creatures on the coral reef during low tide while watching the sun set and generally doing nothing but living the good life. Plus, there's majick mushrooms, which is where I'm going now.
To get to the fields where they grow, first you have to go through a jungle that's filled with monkeys who, if you're not careful, will steal anything you're carrying. They're real sneaky little bastards attacking from behind and once they snatch something you can kiss it good-bye. Then you have to cross a stream, climb up a steep muddy hill and there you are, in a grassy meadow with the water buffalo and the gold tops that grow on their shit. You have to be careful here too. These are wild water buffalo who will charge you if you get too close so you have to keep an eye on them while you're looking for the shrooms. I was lucky today, no buffs but plenty of psylociben.
I eat some and bag the rest for later for Kelly, who would rather stay at home smoking ganj then hike the jungle. Since it's still early and such a beautiful morning, I figure I'll take a little hike through the jungle and check out the abundant bird life. I stroll along the trail for about an hour before I decide to turn around. When I do I see a young guy coming up the trail my way. He stops and we chat. He's a German dude named Albert who’s here on holiday all by himself. He has a map of the park and is on his way to the biggest waterfall in it. He asks if I would like to join him. I've seen hundreds of waterfalls in my life but I'm pleasantly buzzed and having nothing else to do that day I say okay and off we go into the jungle. The trail is on again off again so we have to guess part of the way until we come to a large river that looks like the right one. We jump in and wade down it for half an hour until we come to some pools that already have a dozen people in them, all young euro's. This is the place. We're at the top of the falls which has a series of large pools before the river plunges over the edge falling at least 500 feet straight down to the sea below.
I'm feeling the majick mushrooms real good by now and ask Albert if he'd like to try some.
He asks me if they're any good.
I say, "Pretty good." and smile.
He tells me he's never had them before so I hand him five, a light dose. He eats them.
We take off our clothes and jump in the biggest pool and it’s cool and refreshing. We spend the next couple hours there, swimming, sunning and chatting with the other euro's who have all declined my generous offer of shrooms. If I want a thrill, I just hang my head over the edge of the falls and look straight down to the sea below crashing against the rocks.
After awhile I ask Albert how he's doing.
He says fine and that he’s enjoying the high but he thinks it's time to go back to town now.
I tell him that sounds good to me.
We put our clothes back on and head up river. Everything is going along fine until Albert says, "Oh, oh! I think I've lost the map."
I tell him not to worry about it. I've been lost in the woods lots of times. It's no big deal. Sure, we're both high but how lost can we get. The park may have really thick jungle over some very rugged terrain but it's only a mile long and two miles wide. If we walk long enough we'll either hit the ocean or town but Albert is worried, none of this looks familiar to him. I tell him to be cool. It's just the mushrooms working on his mind and as long as he doesn't get scared then everything will be all right. I don't know where we are either so I lie to him. I tell him not to worry. I know the way.
We follow the river until we come to a small waterfall that I know we didn't pass on the way in but I do know town is due north and uphill from where we are. I tell Albert it's time to go over land because the river is turning east. We scramble up the muddy bank and within 100 feet are in deep jungle.
Albert starts freaking out! He doesn't know where anything is. For a minute his panic gets to me because I don't know where the hell we are either and I think, 'Oh shit! We really are lost.' Then I remember the shrooms and calm myself. I tell Albert, whose whimpering and wild eyed, to shut up and follow me because I know exactly where we are. Which is true, we're somewhere in the jungle in the park south of town. I pick a direction and head "north" with Albert following me.
When you are lost in the woods there's only one thing you can do and that is to have faith. That works because within ten minutes we come upon a trail, not the trail we came in on but a trail none the less. Albert's all right now and talks happily as we walk back toward town.
When we get there he offers to buy me lunch and won't take no for an answer. We have a meal of shrimp fried rice washing it down with cokes. I ask Albert how he liked the mushrooms.
He tells me that he barely felt them but what he felt, he liked. I offer him a few more to take home with him. He takes them and thanks me. After lunch I say goodbye to Albert and wander on home to Kelly.
When I walk in the door she asks where have I been so long. I toss her the bag of shrooms and begin, "Well, I met a German guy named Albert and.....”