My love Kelly and I were hanging out with a bunch of hippies up in the woods near a hot spring in Oregon when this thing comes running up to us. It took us a moment to recognize it as a dog, well, part of a dog anyway. It didn't have very much fur on its body and it's face had none. Also, it's face looked like old leather all stitched together, one eye was gone and the other was kind of bulging out and it had no ears. It's body consisted only of it two front legs, shoulders and body, it had no back legs or a tail but it did seem to get along fine just walking on it's front legs. It was friendly too and ran right up to us. Behind the dog walked a young long hair.
I asked him if this was his dog and what the hell was its story.
He said, "My name is Steve, and yes, he's my dog and his name is Otto. He was brought back from the dead when he was electrocuted.”
We ask if he wanted to smoke a joint and tell us the tale.
He said, "Sure" sat down and between tokes told us, "Me and Otto used to live in Colorado and one day we were just walking in a field under some high tension lines. Otto saw a rabbit and took off after him. The rabbit came to a downed high-tension wire and hopped under it but Otto ran right into it and got zapped real bad. By the time that I got to him he was on dead with one eye hanging out of it's socket and his fur on fire. Me and Otto had been together for a long time so I wasn't going to let him die if I could help it. I beat out the fire, then gave him mouth to snout recitation performing CPR on him at the same time. I got him breathing, carried him to my car then rushed him to the vets. The vet took one look at Otto and told me to let the poor thing die, but I told him no way and that he'd better save Otto or I would beat the hell out of him. He told me to calm down and he'd do what he could. He got Otto stabilized then told me that was all he could do. He said that I should take Otto over to the university where they had a vet school. I put Otto back in the car and headed over there."
"I got him there and they took one look at Otto and said that maybe they could save his life but it'd be expensive and that he would never be the same. I told them I didn't care, just save Otto. They took him and told me to go home. Two days later they call me and tell me that I can come over to see him so I go over and see him. They got him in traction and he’s all covered from nose to tail in bandages with only his one good eye showing. The professor tells me that they called the TV station and that a film crew was coming to do a story on Otto and me and that I should hang around. I do and they interview both me and the professor then take pictures of Otto."
"The next day the TV station calls me and tells me that somebody after seeing the piece on Otto has started a fund to save Otto since the professor said that it could cost up to $25,000 to save and rehabilitate him. They told me that they were sending the money directly to the university so I wouldn't have to worry about the bill. Man, that really made me happy."
"It took six weeks of intensive care to save Otto then another two months to rehabilitate him so he could walk and take care of himself. I went to see him every day to help him along the way. After they were finished with him they told me that I could take him home and that I didn't owe the a single penny because the fund had grown to more than $70,000."
"I was so happy the day that Otto came home, but then I started thinking. It only cost $25,000 to save Otto and they collected $70,000, so since the fund was for Otto then they should give me the other $45,000. So I went to see the professor and asked him for the rest of Otto's money. He told me that it wasn't Otto's money but that it belonged to the university since it was sent to them. I argued with him that it was the TV station that sent the money to the university and it was sent there for Otto. He told me that Otto could come back anytime and they would fix him up for free for as long as he lived, but that I wasn't getting any of the university's money. I went and saw a lawyer and he basically told me it's their money. I went to the TV station and they told me it was old news so I contacted the National Enquirer and they ran the story about the university saving Otto, with pictures even, but nothing about me not getting Otto's money. I got a few copies in my car. Want to see them?" I told him maybe later.
I asked Steve how Otto was holding up?
He said, “Pretty good. Sometimes when he gets tired he starts dragging ass and I have to help him put a little but all in all, he’s doin’ real well.”
We hung out with Steve, Otto and the other the hippies for a week then it was time for us to move along. But I can still see Otto running after Steve on his 2 front legs with his Frankenhound face.