Chapter 15
First Voyage
This summer has been a very busy time for me. Shortly after returning from the camp I got a job on a river passenger steam-boat as a surplus machinist. It has been my first time to live on a vessel. I have got a small single cabin with an overhead spare bed that had been broken. The boat has been named after the leader of our freedom fight "Kossuth”. My first job on a boat has formed my mind on a mass scale. A boat is a complete world, but it is so compact, everybody knows everything about everyone else.
Here I write little about my experiences on board this river boat, as I gave a much more detailed account of the trips I was able to make in my home country as well as abroad in my book Canned Roaddust. But circumstances and events that mustn’t go into such travelogues and still are giving a wide picture of the country at that time I am recollecting here.
I have met some very kind people among the crew and the officers. The captain was a true gentleman. His manner and character could have secured him a pass into any clubs in England. The chief machinist was of a special type. He was fat and his temper as flammable as gasoline. But he was a kind man and could not have done any harm. During the first week I have done some things wrong because of my inexperience. He has always been angry and used rough expressions, but after that he has never been unkind and taught me about all details of the trade.
The deputy chief machinist has been a small man and he looked very ugly. He has been a good example that the majority of women are hare-brained and without good taste. Ugly and conceited he was, he has had the greatest number of love affairs of all the men I have met in my life. No woman could avoid his courting, and even his wife, a good-looking and fair person has not left him for his adventures. I found only one property of his to write on the positive side and it was his skills in the trade. He had started his career at 15 and there have not been boats on the Danube he could not have anything to say about.
There have been two ordinary machinists, a young man and an elder one. The younger one’s wife was pregnant and he left this job soon after to be able to stay home with his family, and took the job of a refrigerator mechanic on company ships. The elder man has been a very simple, but really good person. He could also tell me anything about the trade and knew what to do in different situations, but his theoretical knowledge has been next to nothing.
There were some unpleasant people, too, but I do not remember them very well.
The passenger steam-boats of the company have been doing two different missions. From the capital to the southern border town of Mohacs they were passenger and produce transporters. At that time the capital was the industrial and commercial centre of the country to such an extent that there was only one wholesale market in the country, at the southern part of the capital. From all over the country produce has been carried there and along the Danube the state farms and newly established private farms loaded their vegetables and fruit onto these "market-woman” boats. The upriver trips have been much slower than the downriver ones, not only because of the current, the upriver stops have lasted more than one hour at some settlements, there was so much load to be placed on the promenade deck. Sailors liked these trips: their wallet became thicker as the loading has been done by them and market-women paid in cash.
Along the river south of the capital the traditional dress was still usual at that time. A big part of the population has been of German origin and the women carried on themselves a lot of under-skirts. Some had more than ten. They looked much fatter than they really were. We called them paratroopers as the uppermost skirt took the form of an open parachute.
It has been funny to see these market-women take their nap. They arranged their sleeping place on top of their full sacks. As they lay down, half of their skirts served as bed-sheet, the remaining ones as cover. Not all of them spent the night this way. Some of them had enough money to take a comfortable cabin and paid to the sailors to guard their goods. Today’s millionaires in this country began their original capital accumulation that time.
On these routes most passengers have been ordinary poor people, who took the boat instead of train, as it has been cheaper. To sit through the 17-hour upriver trip has not been very easy. Even in downriver it took 13 hours. Downriver the boat left at 8 p.m. and arrived at 9 a.m. the next day. Upriver she left at noon and arrived at the wholesale market at 5 a.m. the next morning. At the terminal she reported at 8 to 9 a.m.
The other assignment for the boats have been excursions. To the north from the capital there are two towns on the riverside that are famous for their historic sites and ruins. Saturday and Sunday during the summer season have always been excursion days. The boats were leaving at 8 a.m. and back at 2 p.m. from the other end. The trip took 4 hours upriver, 3 downriver.
My greatest pre-marriage affair has started on this steam-boat. On one of the market-woman upriver trips I spotted a girl on the aft promenade deck sitting on a bench and crocheting. It has been hot, but the aft promenade deck has had a canvas shade and she has been sitting under this shade. I did not like her at first. She had short hair, almost boyish and, it is hard to tell truly, her face was that of an ordinary peasant girl. She wore tight dark blue slacks and a white blouse.
I took my afternoon shift at 4 p.m. and, after finishing it at 8 p.m. I took a shower and went up to the promenade deck to catch a little breeze. The sun was setting and I caught a glimpse of the same girl sitting on the same place and going on crocheting. She was alone with me.
I neared her and sat on the neighbouring bench, from where I could speak with her.
"Do you still have thread to do your work?” I asked.
"I have much left”, she said.
"Do you travel alone?”
"Yes, I do.”
"Where did you board the boat? I did not see you get in.”
"In B.”, she said. "who are you?”
"I am a student, having a job here during the summer holiday.”
"Do you study for an engineer?”
”I do.”
We fell into silence, she did her work, a small woman’s cap took shape. I said after a long pause:
"You look very young.”
"How young?”
"I think, you are 18. Did I guess well?”
"You did”, she said, but she was smiling. It could have been for my good guess or just the opposite.
"Are you going to the capital?” I went on trying to draw her into a conversation.
"Yes, to the eleventh district.”
"I am living there. Where is the place precisely?”
She opened her bag and took out a small notebook. She was leafing through it. Then closed it and said:
"It is not the eleventh, it is the fourteenth district.”
"Is somebody waiting for you?”
"Yes, my brother. He is younger than me and prepares to be a mason.”
We continued our conversation. She asked me about my family, my studies, the time-table of the boat, where it was going next. She told me she was a nurse in a children’s hospital in B. and she was living there as a lodger. Her name was Yolande. It became dark and she said she would find some food in the refreshment room.
I went to my room, but it was too hot and I could not sleep. Around 11 p.m. I went up again to the promenade deck. There were some sleepers on the benches, but she could not be seen there. At last I went to sleep, but early in the morning got up. I took my breakfast and, as my morning shift would only begin at 8 a.m., I went up to the promenade deck. She was sitting there crocheting.
We greeted each other as old friends and began talking.
"Have you slept a little?” I asked her.
"Yes, I took a nap in the common passenger room on the bench:” I had some doubt about her telling the truth, as I had been walking a lot in the evening and had not seen her. But, who was I to tell it to her.
"And you”, she asked, "are you always up so early?”
"No, not at all. I start my shift at 8 and sleep until seven.”
"And now?”
"I do not know, I could not sleep well.”
I felt a desire to win her confidence. I said:
"It is very early, still we have some hours before we lie on the Central Terminal. You must be tired. In my cabin you can sleep and I wake you up when it is time.”
She did not say anything. We sat in silence. Then she stood up and said:
"I trust you. Show me there.”
I showed her to my place and left her alone.
The boat arrived to the wholesale market, the sailers unloaded the produce. It was almost 9 when I wanted to wake her, but suddenly she appeared. She looked fresh and her hair was neatly arranged.
"Could you sleep?”
"Very little. As soon as I went to sleep the ship lay on the pontoon and there was a big noise. But, thank to you, I rested and I am grateful.”
"It is nothing. You could have slept more.”
She sat beside me and I put my arm around her. She did not try to avoid it. I asked:
"You must be hungry. Do you want to take something?”
She did not say a word. She sat and remained silent. Then, as the boat began to move again she asked me:
"How long is it to reach the Central?”
"Fifteen minutes.”
"Let us go down to your cabin. Here it is cool.”
We went down. As soon as I closed the door, she sat on my bed where she had slept not long before. We embraced each other and kissed until the boat took her place with a bump and we fell on the bed. We laughed and kissed again.
She gave me her address in B. and I promised to write her as soon as possible. She did not want to stay long in the capital.
I asked for permission from my boss to go home and he allowed me to do so. I accompanied Y. to the terminal building where she was met by a blond boy. I went home and, as it was the first time that I could leave the boat and go home, my mother received me with a great joy.
After lunch I returned to the boat and did my work of lubricating the engine, changing gaskets and cleaning it from oil and grease. The next day the boat would go on an excursion trip and, without delay, switch on the downriver route southward. It was my first trip on the leisure route and, as the boat was waiting for the return, we had nothing to do. One of the unpleasant people from the crew asked me about Y.
"Did you make love to her, too?” he asked laughing, using four-letter words, of course.
"I do not understand your question”, it was my answer. I really did not know what he wanted by his unintelligent manner. He was grinning all the time and said:
"I took her to my cabin and made it to her.”
I began to feel uncomfortably. True, during the night I had not seen her, but I had not thought until then that she could have been behind some door. And now I became sure that she had lied to me. In spite of the great anger I felt I said to him calmly:
"You are lying. She is certainly not for your attempts.”
In my heart it was painful and I swore I would revenge myself. And at the same time I wished she could give me an acceptable excuse.
In a bad mood I stood at the boarding plank to see the incoming passengers. To my surprise Y. was coming on board. She smiled at me and I did not want her to know at once about my doubts, so I smiled back. She took her bag to my cabin and stayed in. After taking a shower I also turned into the cabin.
We were talking for a time and decided to go to sleep. She was kind to me, kissed as I wished. But, as I was attempting a closer relationship she refused it.
"What is it?” she said. "I thought you were an honest boy.”
"Well, I thought I was allowed to do the same as others here.”
There came a long silence and her body became stiff. She asked:
"What did that rogue say to you?”
"He said you were making love together”, I said.
She turned around on the bed, face down, and began to cry. I felt very uncomfortably.
"Tell me, please, the truth”, I was begging her.
She went on crying and when she finished it she said:
"I think, you would not believe me, but it is how it happened. When you went to take your shift I ate a sandwich in the refreshment room. There he came to me and said, if I wanted a place I could go into an empty cabin. He showed me into one. I wanted to know if it would cost me much, but he just grinned. I felt uncertain and when he left me I wanted to go out, but he slipped in again and closed the door. He wanted to kiss me first, but as he is at least forty I fought. He wanted to take off my slacks and as I did not allow it, he ruined my zip-fastener. I began to cry and said I would repeat it to the police. It seems he became afraid, he gave me a safety-pin and hit me on the face, before pushed me out.
"I felt terribly and went into the common room and lay on the bench covering my head with my sweater.
"I was thinking about the shy way you came to me and compared it to that brute. I was ashamed.”
In the cabin it was dark as pitch, I could not see her face as she told me her story. I have been sure she told me the truth. Anyway, I wanted to believe so, and at last my anger turned into sympathy.
I did not force her any more to make love with me, we kissed each other very passionately uncountable times and I let my jealousy go. That time her story was true. In the coming three weeks I spent on the boat, the man she called the brute and rogue, showed me his true face and it really proved her story.
Much later I could summarize my judgement about Y. She has been a typical foul player. She has taken everything for her advantage. She recognized quickly the rules in her favour, but overlooked the ones against her. At last it caused our separation as I could not bear dishonesty when I have given only my best to her.
I awoke to see it was getting brighter. I got up and went to see where we were. We had just passed the stop before her living town, so I went back to her and woke her up. Together we sat on the upper deck where we had made our acquaintance and talked very little.
And there began our correspondence.
The next time when we were heading downriver I got my permission to get out for the time the boat would make her turn. I had about 6 hours to dispose of. I made the two miles from the pontoon to the Children’s Hospital in the centre of the town and called her out. She was surprised, but pleased. She took two bicycles and slipped away with me for the time we had. She showed me the best places and then we sat making plans for the near future.
Following this day time ran quickly. My thought have been mainly occupied by Y., but at that time I have not been completely in love with her yet. This was the reason why other encounters with pretty girls have not been avoided. Well, not one of them has been serious.
A very pretty girl one day on the market-woman upriver trip started to talk to me and, after a long chat she accepted my invitation to take my cabin during my night shift. Very tired, after shift and shower I went to my place and there she was sleeping on my bed. Very silently I tried to lie on the small place left free, but she woke up. She was beside herself and said, she thought I was more honest and straightforward. The words flew from her mouth as running water. At last she caught the truth that I wanted only to sleep. She then disclosed that it was her trip to meet her fiancé and the next day they were to marry.
We became good friends at last, she slept on beside me and even she kissed me many times by her whole heart. I have never met her again.
One Sunday morning on the leisure trip upriver I became aware of two girls: one a child of about 10 and the other about 17. They were very excited, running many times around the boat. It seemed as if it had been their first such trip. Suddenly, as I was staying on deck, the smaller one ran into me and apologized. The elder girl asked me, if I knew when we reach the village of T.
We began to talk and, as it has been rainy and they still had about an hour on board, I showed them to my cabin. The child wanted to go up rather soon. We stayed there and talked about everything. She has not been against, as I tried to kiss her. She invited me at her arrival to come to her family’s house, if I wanted to go on our relationship. I visited her once, when I finished my work on the boat, but she had nothing to beat Y. in my heart, and I have not seen her any more.
One Sunday morning the boat has been lying on the pontoon, waiting for noon to leave on a market-woman trip, when the first officer came and said, Mr Titov has been sent up for the second space-flight of man.