I feel very
uneasy now.
I just watched the 13th episode (out of 22) of an anime I’ve been watching for a few days. At the end of said episode, there was an image of a teenage girl waving happily at her guest, not caring at all for the fact that she was in a hospital room. The image was accompanied by the following line of dialog: “He might have to lose someone he cares about.” Something along those lines anyway. It felt too much like a dark premonition of future events. It felt too much like a prediction of a character’s death.
I’ve watched other anime series before in which characters die left, right and center. But this instance was completely unpredicted and subsequently made me feel surprisingly uneasy. I was even trembling ever so slightly mere moments ago. But I’m not anymore.
Huh. I guess even a pen and paper can work as a stress reliever.
Or, in this case, as an anxiety reliever.
I do feel as though one of the characters in that anime will die. And that character is going to be the girl in the hospital. But if I can see it coming, why do I still feel so uneasy?
It’s not very usual for me to get emotionally invested in media at all. I will admit, though, that there have been a few instances I’ve cried playing specific video games or watching specific anime series. Even so, those instances are few and far enough between that I can’t call it a common occurrence.
“Emotional” is not a word I’d describe myself with. Granted, I do have emotions, but I only show them so often. It takes a considerable amount of effort to bring some emotion out of me. Unless the emotion that’s being attempted to invoke in me is anger - but joy and sadness, for instance, are the kinds of emotions I’m mainly talking about. I can get angry over the most trivial of matters, but not so much happy or sad.
Some people might call me cold-hearted. Who knows? Maybe I am cold-hearted. But in any case, my heart isn’t frozen solid. My foundation isn’t unshakable. All it takes is effort. And that scene in that anime... Oh, did it really shake my foundation.