Assorted Ramblings of a Different Young Adult by Santtu Pesonen - HTML preview

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21-11-2016: Gratitude


Gratitude is one of the things I display on relatively rare occasions. But when I do display it, it comes from the heart. On the occasion that I thank someone for something, I make it as clear as possible that I genuinely mean it.


One such opportunity I had the accidental pleasure of having yesterday. I was going to a local bar for a writers’ night, but it ended up not happening. What instead ended up happening was me finding a few of my colleagues, among them a woman to whom I owe more than I’ll ever be able to repay.


You see, it’s thanks to her that I ever attended any of the university’s parties to begin with. Without her, I would have been an outcast. That’s not even an exaggeration - it’s thanks to her that I wasn’t left out from the start.


Either way, I thanked her for all of it yesterday. How the opportunity presented itself was slightly unexpected, though. After about three hours at the bar, one of the colleagues was about to leave, so we ended up going along with him. Along the way, the rest of the company left us until I was alone with her. And so I took the opportunity.


In all honesty, I had no particular reason as to why I thanked her right then and there. Surely I would’ve had more opportunities in the future. But since there was one at the time, I figured I might as well take it.


I did, however, have a reason why I didn’t want it to be too far into the future. That reason has to do with my intention of leaving university. And once I do, I won’t know how soon I’ll see her again, if ever.


I’ve recently come to realize that I started pursuing a career in education for all the wrong reasons. I was never genuinely passionate about becoming an English teacher - it was merely an ideal career choice I somehow planted into my own head. The oddest thing about it is that I managed to convince myself it was the right way forward.


No. It isn’t. I’d much rather pursue a career in something I’m genuinely passionate about. And education is certainly not it.