When it comes to
obsessions, I like to think they’re relatively rare occurrences
to me. But to say that I don’t obsess over anything at all
would be a lie. After all, I do recall some instances. Some of them
have even been inexplicable.
One obsession I recall having over that one girl I met on the train once. Now the interesting thing about that case was that I was in no way attracted to her. And yet, somehow, I ended up thinking about her obsessively for a week afterwards.
And of course, there are the occasional trivial matters I shouldn’t obsess over. But I can’t help myself - after all, I’m admittedly quite the overthinker. Why else would I have obsessed about the hidden meaning behind that freshman girl’s “quiet” comment about me, for instance? Furthermore, why else would I have mentioned it in these ramblings twice?
Lately, though, there has been one person you could classify as a pseudo-obsession. I say “pseudo-obsession” because I haven’t so much thought about her uncontrollably as I’ve consciously given her lots of passing thoughts. I am talking, of course, about the one that got away, so to say.
I only hope she’s alright. Well, “only” is a slight understatement - I also hope she thinks about me every day, if only for a moment. For me at least, not a single day has gone by without me giving her a thought since our ways separated for the second time.
Of course, my concerns towards her are strictly platonic. After all, she already established once that she didn’t want us to get romantically involved. And in all honesty, upon reflection, I’m perfectly fine with her decision.
I might have taken it unnecessarily hard at the time. But then again, she was my first love. My only concern as far as my own future goes is that I never find another woman as fine as her. If I ever even find a woman to start a relationship with.
Best to stop before I start complaining about that again.