Chapter 68
During the height of some of the difficult times at the coffee house, while praying one night, I was visited with a thought. I told god that I would like to speak with Him face to face, so that He could hear my complaints and respond to me. I was extremely upset, and I wanted an audience with Him. This following may seem somewhat strange, but actually took place. The words were no sooner out of my mouth when I heard the words, “go see Bob,” the associate pastor, the pastor’s son. The Lord said, “I will speak to you face to face through him.” I had been going to church there for about one and a half years, and Bob had not spoken ten words to me. I was broken, and god sent me to see Bob!
I called for an appointment and went to see him. When I told him what the Lord told me, he made a face and said, “Okay, let’s see what happens.” I was so broken; before I could say five words I was weeping, broken before god and man. I shared my heart and disappointments as if I were speaking directly to my Father in Heaven.
I spoke of my hurts, fears, and bewilderment, asking why He was making me go through these abuses, living in a state of near poverty, being an enigma to myself as well as others, and of all the things that were, I felt, destroying me. When I finished, Bob said he felt the Lord was saying that He was pleased with my obedience and wanted to bless me. He wanted to bless me because of His love for me and not on a works-based response such as, “Do a good work and get a blessing.” This is the way we Christians often like to connect with god. Yet, He was saying that He wanted to bless me because of His love for me and that was enough to satisfy my plea. Soon, He said, I would see His blessings because of His love for me. Still hurting, still wanting a change, NOW, but because of this meeting I was willing to wait a little longer for the Lord to move in His way and accomplish His purpose.
Our God in Heaven is our Father. He wants to have communion with us, if we will just allow it. He wants us to get personal, get close, and have fellowship with Him. Come to the fountain of Living Waters. Let your tears run down, then drink from His supply of love and tender mercies. He cares more about us than we could ever realize, especially while we are on this earth’s journey.