Chapter Six: Ourselves and Society
Understanding Ourselves within Society—Power Within
We can lose ourselves if we follow others in what they perceive we are and how they think we should be. We must not limit ourselves to the expectations of others. We must also be cautious of becoming stranded in our own perceptions, for when we do, we can fall into the falsehood of trying to seek solace or validation from others. Remember, we can be but figments of the imaginations and preconceived perceptions of others. Often, our greatest limitations are the perceptions of another.
But I ask, when it comes to our limitations, what prevents us more from succeeding: how others see our limitations or how we see our own limitations? Worse than succumbing to the negative views of how others believe we should be is succumbing to the negative views of how we ourselves believe we should be. We can often be hostages of our own minds and preconceived limitations. Often, the greatest difficulties in overcoming our obstacles are not the obstacles themselves but the perceptions of our limitations, not only by others, but also ourselves. We should ask ourselves, “Am I a prisoner more because of my own mind than because of the minds of others?” Meaning, are our perceived limitations placed more by ourselves than by others? Why is it that we can so easily travel in the shadows on the “railroad of life,” trapped in a “boxcar of our own psyche,” and only look out at the light as the world passes by?
Sometimes, I wonder if our own endeavors in life are helpful or hindering, blocking, or even distracting from our goals or success. Can our endeavors even guide us away from our success? Meaning, can the things we do in life to succeed be possibly in reality leading us away from success? I also sometimes wonder if we are afraid of the failure that is found within success. Are we afraid that in order to succeed in one particular area we may have to forgo success in other areas—thus succeeding in one that we wished to accomplish, but leading to the failure of others? Can we sometimes sabotage ourselves so we will not succeed in a particular area? Perhaps we subconsciously sabotage ourselves because we are worried about failing in other areas in the pursuit of that one particular area. Or do we even subconsciously sabotage ourselves in that one particular area because we are afraid of not being able to succeed? To this I say, we must succeed despite our own endeavors. Also, we must not let fear be our primary motivator.
We are often content with merely scratching the surface of who are and what we can do; we can be content to live out our lives like hermits, within our own little worlds, within our own minds. Sometimes we avoid looking at our true selves; we look at ourselves as if we were someone else looking through glass doors from the outside. We sometimes can be only images of ourselves; we have possibilities that we could not even imagine.
Within all of us lies the “power.” We all have this inner force that pushes us forward. This force pushes us constantly. This force is neither evil nor good. It is neither right nor wrong. It is neither pleasurable nor painful. Sometimes this force pushes us toward what we should do and other times it pushes us toward what we should not do. Sometimes both or neither. It is the human drive. We all have this “power.” It is just a matter of tapping into this energy and keeping the changes to ourselves under control, so they do not rage like a wildfire out of the path of the intended purpose and consume everything in our way. How we use this great energy can be good, evil, right, or wrong. When we are able to properly guide this energy that is found within ourselves toward completely peaceful and productive purposes, then we will finally be able to be at one with the universe, life, or that which created all.
Understanding Ourselves within Society—Our Actions
I believe violence and control of others are taught in words as well as actions. I also believe control of others is a form of violence, even if it may sometimes appear to be a mild form. And violence is not only used for control of others, but control of others is itself a type of violence. Each is interlocked with and dependent on the other. Violence and control can be virtually one and the same. In the world of today, we need to take the necessary—and only the necessary—steps to neither be controlled by others nor control others ourselves.
Whether people like to admit it or not, human society still has natural instincts of control and/or violence that it exerts on other people in general and the world we inhabit. Over the many centuries and millenniums, humans have increasingly turned to other methods of control rather than actual brute physical domination, methods such as the various types of social control or social manipulation. Physical control is however still an ingrained part of our world, especially on a personal level. While most of us openly detest this form of control, many of us tend to ignore or grudgingly accept the other forms of violence and control that do not involve physical domination, such as social manipulation. Do we think this new kind of control makes humans more civilized than our ancient ancestors were? We must ask ourselves, What does “civilized” mean to each of us? So, we must each ask ourselves, What is civilized? Perhaps what is and what isn’t civilized is in the eye of the citizen. Perhaps our ancient ancestors would have viewed our world as violent due to our ability and predilection to create atrocities, war, and death on a massive scale that is impersonal and easily done. We can commit such acts with feelings of dissociation, but with the same results. We merely have to push a button, and never look into the eyes of the victims as we figuratively push the blade in.
Understanding Ourselves within Society—Examination
Humans have survived thus far as predators by nature, yet at the same time humans have intellect and compassion. Most of us have been fortunate enough to have enough intellect and compassion to suppress or eliminate many of our inherited destructive primal instincts. This is not to say that those instincts are completely gone; some, such as our instincts for self-preservation, may still lie beneath. It is just that many of us have taught ourselves to suppress or eliminate what we perceive to be negative aspects. We must be careful; not all are born with what we would consider to be the positive naturally inherited instincts for survival and advancement of the species. We must not assume that all are born with all of the positive “stereotypical instincts” that contribute to the survival of all. But there is still hope when we hear of a parent sacrificing themselves for their child. However, I still wonder sometimes what instincts are in control of those actions or motivations.
The intellect of survival and compassion can be intertwined and has given some humans compassion for other species and, more importantly, compassion for other humans. The vicious instinct of violence and control is in constant battle with intellect and compassion. And sometimes our intellect is what gives us our compassion. Many of us are not so different from each other.
I do not believe humans are naturally or purely “good” or “evil.” I believe nothing corporeal can be naturally and completely good or evil. However, how we act upon our emotions, with our available knowledge and abilities, can be considered as certain degrees of good or evil. Instincts are not evil or good; they are merely and only instincts. However, if we can control our instincts and we are still being unnecessarily violent or destructive, then perhaps we are doing evil. I believe humankind has also corrupted the definitions of evil and good by making them concepts by which we judge and justify our own actions and the actions of others. We have corrupted the true definitions of good and evil by human judgment and partiality.
Many people have had thoughts at one time or another that they themselves may not consider to be violent, but which in the mind of another may be so. But I must have faith that most of us strive to be pacifists at heart and are capable of thinking through a problem logically without resorting first to violence. Thus, we are capable of not acting upon our primal instincts of following through with one of the many different forms of violence, including control, as we or even as another person may define it. Everyone has had a violent thought (including violence in the form of control), even if only as defined in the mind of another person. In our mind, what we are thinking may not be violent or may even be considered justifiable; however, to someone else it may be considered a violent or unjustifiable thought. Our intellect may be strong enough that our “violent thought” is insignificant or suppressed so much that it does not affect our decisions to a significant degree or even surface within our conscious mind. But it may still be there. If we have “violent thoughts,” it does not necessarily mean that we are violent or may act violently. If we have anger in our heart, it does not necessarily mean that we are bad or angry or will resort to violence; it means that we are human.
It is certain that our passions and desires can have the ability to become increasingly destructive. So, we must learn to better control them before they go from “holding us back” to “taking us back.” That is, before they do not just prevent us from succeeding but actually cause us to recede. But because we must be realistic when it comes to our societies and humanity as a whole, the use of force may unfortunately be necessary at times for defense. But, if we must use force to protect ourselves, we must make the honest attempt to use adequate but minimal force. Remember, might does not make right. But we must not completely blame the people who still use violence and control over others for their own problems. I blame all of us for these problems, because we all have had a part in creating them and it will take all of us to help fix them. We must also examine why violent behavior is acceptable. Why do we fight as a species? Animals fight and kill others of their own species over basic survival needs and sometimes procreation. We fight and kill our own species for both of those reasons, and more. When we are wounded like animals, we can become like animals. When we as a species can openly admit that we have the potential for violence under the right circumstances, then maybe we can follow the road to eliminating violence and the negative types of control. Until we as a species are completely able to keep our instincts from being such motivating factors in our everyday lives, we will never be able to move beyond where we are as a society and move into another stage of society. We are often the main cause of our own misfortunes. The largest barriers to the survival and growth of our species are often the best aspects of our species. When we consider ourselves and see that on a completely personal level and on a worldwide societal level we can have the potential for violence and the negative types of control, then we can begin to evolve past the need to use violence and negative types of control. When we realize that what we are doing may be wrong, our illusions about ourselves will collapse, and we can address the threats we pose to ourselves. What hell can spring from the deepest, darkest pools of the human mind? Hell can sometimes be a picnic compared to that which can lurk in the mind of man.
But we must not forget the positive side of that statement. The positive is that unknown potential lurks in the mind of humanity. It is for this reason that I would take the mind over a gun any day. Because the mind invented the gun. Our propensity is a duality of a double-edged sword surrounded by destruction and creation. Going on this assumption, if our instincts are a double-edged sword then in losing one edge we may lose the other. So, I ask, When does eliminating our disadvantages become a disadvantage in itself? It is not in our best interest to completely forget our instincts for survival. In this quandary, I personally choose to seek the creative side of our instincts.
Understanding Ourselves within Society—Reflection
Sometimes in the flashing moments in my mind, while attempting to understand each of our places in society, I find myself sarcastically wondering if perhaps the difference between those who are found to be insane and those who are not is the former have yet to discover how to fake sanity. We all can have the potential to drift into our own versions of insanity; insanity in the sense of doing what others may consider to be irresponsible behavior. Irresponsibility both intentionally and unintentionally does accumulate and reproduce. In my opinion, because of this, there can often an “insanity of inhumanity” prevalent in the world. By this I refer to not accepting but still tolerating evil in the world. I personally believe it is time to stop the insanity of inhumanity. Let us not make life a seemingly endless fantasy, only silenced by the reality of the cries from the children of humanity. Again, I suggest that we must consider why so much behavior that is harmful to our survival and our ability to flourish is considered acceptable. If it turns out that the ones who reject such behavior are crazy or unrealistic, what does that say about the rest of the world? Offhandedly I sometimes wonder if it would not be better to be insane and not just seeing with open eyes. For if I am truly sane, then the atrocities of the world are real. If the majority of the world is considered to be sane with all of its closed-mindedness, hatred, exercise of control over others, self-centeredness, greed, cruelty, and depravity—if we consider this normal—then what a frightening world we live in indeed, as we free-fall into the future. Thus, it is sometimes a most frightening thought that we are the sane ones. It can be a beautiful thing to know that we are not crazy, but what a terrible responsibility it is. Normality can however change with the times. The acceptance of some of our new normalities, the continued acceptance of past normalities, and those normalities that we have accepted in the past all have the potential to be considered sane and insane. We can have the tendency to distinguish between insanity and sanity by what is expected of us in the contemporary time. Many of our current beliefs and concepts of sanity, truth, and morality are defined only by our current understandings or perceptions.
Perhaps, if one does view the whole world as an asylum, then it may be best to blend in and pretend to be a patient. I personally on occasion try seeking a place that is non-obtrusive, neither here nor there, or anywhere. Sometimes we can survive by being inconspicuous or non-threatening; a power of one. Yet, some perceive themselves as existing in and affecting only that which they know of as their immediate, daily lives. According to some, those people could be perceived as living in a world of non-existence. They exist in a world of non-existence in the sense that they comprehend themselves as more separate from the world than they actually are. Such a person may see themselves as an afterthought of the world they inhabit or even completely separate or disconnected from the world. We must not forget that we ourselves often create the world around us. This is why as we all live our lives out, I must reask myself the question, Is my world an illusion or am I simply disillusioned by my world? Is my world an illusion in the sense that I can live out my life within my own version of reality? Am I just fooling myself that this is just the way it is? Am I part of my illusion as you are a part of yours? Are we all just helping one another in deluding ourselves into perceptions of reality? I wonder if we can be only images of ourselves, images defined in our perceptions. Can we also be nothing but playthings to our imaginations? Is what we feel real or delusions we wish to accept in order to protect, represent, or promote ourselves? This is why for the sake of ourselves and the sake of others we must take an honest look inside ourselves.
We can only understand ourselves to a certain point before we must take time to understand others on their own ground, so that we may even better understand ourselves. We must be careful in life so that we do not become greedy, self-absorbed, arrogant, or closed-minded. Greed, overindulgence, and similar traits are weakness. Being self-absorbed leaves us blind to the outside. It saddens me that many people cannot see, or refuse to see, all of the pain in the world, while others see but still let it happen. They ignore all of the hunger, death, and disease—just to name some of the pain and misdeeds. They ignore them not just in certain parts of the world, but everywhere else in the world. It happens in all parts of the world in some form or to some degree, but more in some places than others due to our complacency. Unfortunately, in some instances, it takes more strength to put up with it or fight it than it does to run away. These are situations that we cannot afford to allow to continue. This complacency, even about the lesser forms of suffering that are found in our everyday lives, allows other forms of the insanity of inhumanity to continue and flourish.
Truths
If one person and another are both doing what each feels is in the best interest of all, and their views conflict with each other, they both could still have good intentions. In reality, it could be debatable who really knows what is in the best interest of all and which course of action will really lead to the best solution for all in the end. After all, none of us knows the best answer; we are only human. If any of us truly and honestly knew the correct answer to anything with 100 percent certainty, I would hope that we would admit it ourselves because admitting it to ourselves can sometimes be more difficult than convincing others. But recognizing the truth is not easy either; if we knew what truth looked like, then we would have already known what it is. We must be careful, because we can sometimes discount or ignore the answer when we do have it. Sometimes the question can tell us more than the answer itself. Other times, the reexamination or restructuring of the answer can reveal even more. For example, turning the answer into a statement can open up more possibilities. But not all is lost; there is hope in this confusion. We still must continue our search; for sometimes in searching for our answer, it may find us. We may not be able to find the truth of life; the truth may have to find us. In searching for the truth, we allow it to be more able to find us.
But unfortunately, we live in a world where the truth matters not—only what each believes. We have become a society that can delude ourselves by searching out and grasping at extreme and farfetched conclusions if they support our beliefs, rather than accepting the overwhelmingly obvious and well-supported facts. Individuals and even societies can easily discard those overwhelmingly supported and numerous facts if they do not support their beliefs. In our current world, and with our new abilities, the results of this have become increasingly dangerous and thus important not to ignore. Therefore, we must be careful when we tend to look for facts that support our opinions and disregard or devalue those facts that do not. Perhaps, it is best to listen to all but believe no one completely. Unfortunately, the awareness of cynicism is becoming even more important in the world of today. Perhaps we should see everything, but not believe everything, listen with our ears and hear with our hearts, and remember that nothing worldly is an absolute truth, nothing worldly is an absolute lie, and there is some truth in everything.
There are many truths in the world. There are some we may consider to be “certain truths” that may yet contradict one another. If we truly explored the original roots of certain contradictory truths, the cores of those truths sometimes support one another. They can be simply different sides of the same equation. We must be cautious of those who would use the cores of those truths or a grain of truth to support an inaccurate conclusion. We must be cautious of those who will twist or manipulate the truth, tell half-truths, or lie by using that grain of truth or core of truth to prove something contrary to the reality of the situation. We must instill the tools and abilities in people so they may search, discern, compile, and analyze facts for themselves in order to incorporate those facts into their set of beliefs. Remember, some truths can be a matter of human perspective. A modern example would be that of a person seeing a vehicle seemingly irresponsibly swerve into the middle of the road, causing a collision. Yes, it is true that a witness may see that vehicle as being at fault for causing the collision. And it is true that vehicle did cause the collision. However, another witness looking from the opposite direction may have seen that the vehicle swerved to avoid a person lying in the middle of the road.
Many people have found a truth that applies to them. Their beliefs are completely accurate in the terms of their life and their world. Your truth is completely accurate in the terms of your life and your world. In your eyes, it is the truth. I do not deny your truth. I do not know what is right for you. But in the eyes of another, it may not be the truth. Nevertheless, your truth is still your truth. In the respect of truth, we must not only be true to others, but also be true to ourselves. We must have truth for ourselves.
The truth, no matter how bad or good, must be told. But that does not mean you have to be malicious. The truth must be told. There must be a time of no more lies. Those who know the truth, yet do nothing, are not innocent. Why must those who feel that they know best keep others in ignorance? Is it because they believe that others cannot handle the truth, or is it because they fear that those others can? Hiding the truth, no matter the reason, is still hiding the truth. People must have all the available information to make a properly informed decision. Before we purposely hide information about a particular truth, we must ask ourselves, Who are we to decide what information may distort the perspective of another? Who are we to decide what information people should have to make an informed decision? Yes, it is true that people can be unduly influenced. However, we need to have faith that most people are not complete idiots. We must also keep in mind that the telling of the truth may not be easy or accepted. Sometimes, we will not like the truth. Sometimes, we may not accept it. Nevertheless, the truth is the truth. So, how chilling the truth can be. We must remember that truth is a result of understanding. Yes, it is always more prudent to see for ourselves rather than trust in blind faith. We must see for ourselves. But I sometimes think, Do I really know or believe what I see, and if the truth were a person would it really care that I believed? Yes, I do believe what I see; however, at times I do not want to believe it. Other times, we do not always recognize the truth when we first see it. But in the end, let it be said: Truth above all else. And the truth is within our grasps. One of my favorite quotes as a child was a quote attributed to George Orwell: “In a time of deceit, telling the truth is a revolutionary act.” My own quote on this is: Sometimes the only thing more frightening than a lie is the truth.
Protecting the Naïveté within Ourselves
I believe naïveté within ourselves, in some way, is what gives us our edge. Naïveté is what helps people daydream, and daydreams can not only help us get through the day but also help us to aspire for more, have hope, and work for the future. Without daydreams there would be no hope. Without hope there would be no planning for the future. Without planning for the future there would be nothing to look forward to in the future. Thus, there would be no future. When we are naïve, we can have a significantly different attitude going into a situation. When we have naïveté in our hearts, we do not realize or easily accept the difficult or seemingly impossible obstacles that face us. With the naïve attitude in our hearts, the defeatist attitude within us is diminished or non-existent. Without the defeatist attitude, we tend to have greater prospects of hope for the future. And greater prospects of hope for the future can give us hope in our minds in the present. As long as people are naïve in their hearts and hopeful in their minds, there is hope for the future. There is hope for the future because our world believes it has a greater chance to live, grow, and learn. When we become jaded or develop a closed-minded attitude, it is harder for us to grow and learn. We all must grow and learn in order to survive. Without learning we become stagnant and can no longer adapt. No matter what we believe in, without hope or the belief that “we can do it,” even if “it” is only survival, we would cease to advance, or even possibly to exist. Sometimes hope is all we have.
When we begin to more willingly accept the impossible or improbable as limitations, then we can begin to accept our own limitations and those others may place upon us. As our view of the world becomes more realistic, we begin to not only realize our perceived limitations but also become more willing to accept those perceived limitations from ourselves and others. Thus, we may begin to stop even trying. When we stop trying, those options that never would have appeared to us before begin to disappear. Practicality becomes dangerous to our future when possibilities begin to disappear. If naïveté and naïve people begin to die, then their dreams die along with hope for the future. So, if I am naïve, then I am glad to be naïve because it means that I still have hope and belief in a better world, and that I will act accordingly and not give in to the acceptance of a “why even try” attitude. So, in that respect, I am proud to be naïve.
Yes, people will take advantage of others when they can, because we have created a world where it is expected that people will take from and feed upon others. When we feed, we can open ourselves up to the same danger of being fed upon. I personally try not to take advantage of others for my own benefit. For this, along with my other beliefs, people at times have called me naïve. However, being naïve is better than the alternative. Remember, the behavior of lies can breed a toxic environment around us. Sometimes, I cling to my naïveté as to a security blanket—for when I am no longer naïve, I am open to corruption.
Changing Society
Unfortunately, in the world of today it often appears that the ones who get ahead are those who take advantage of the weaknesses of others. How can our younger generations ever believe that walking on the backs of others is wrong, when they see that those who do so seem to get the most rewards? In order to be more successful in eliminating wars or injustices, we must refrain, as a society, from the habit of taking something from someone without reasonable cause. We must refrain from depriving someone unjustly. We must seek out consent and avoid deception and coercion. We, as a society, tend to reward dishonesty. How can we respect honesty when we fear or deny it? How can we truly follow the path of honesty when we intentionally or unintentionally reward dishonesty? How can we ever expect things to change when we tell our younger generations one thing but continually do another? We must begin practicing and living more by what we profess, even if it may be to our disadvantage, before we teach. We must refrain from encouraging the rejection of a belief or practice simply because we think that the acceptance of that belief or practice may be dangerous to our own. We must refrain from encouraging the rejection of a belief or practice for the reason that the end result may be to our benefit.
If we want peace, we must live by it. Violence and negative types of control are not necessarily inevitable in the pursuit of goals or survival; they are not the answer. In the pursuit of peace, many people are too quick to believe in or resort to violence, negative control, and the flexing of strength. This attitude is partially where the belief that peace can be achieved through violent means comes from. I admit that sometimes peace in the short-term can be found through force, but it is often temporary or just a façade. It is this attitude that spawned different arms races in the past and has contributed to so many wars. It is very improbable that we can honestly achieve long-lasting peace by dominance, by having more weapons than others do, or by inspiring fear. Mutually assured destruction is not a solution, but a postponement. We cannot find peace with scare tactics or bribery, either. When peace is found through scare tactics or bribery, we do not grow. Instead of seeking peace to find knowledge of ourselves and the opportunity it provides to improve ourselves, we sometimes try to seek it as just an alternative to conflict or war. While peace thus sought may be needed in the short-term, we must remember that the superficial will only bring superficial results. And peace found this way is only a short-lived peace and often just a façade. A façade that can leave our hearts and minds skeptical to the next short-term peace. Or, such a peace will only last until the generation that sought it is forgotten by time. Eventually, we may give up on peace altogether. True peace cannot be sought this way. If peace is only sought as an alternative, we may not be able to truly appreciate it for the knowledge of ourselves and true potential for advancements that it brings. People cannot be forced into peace. For it to work correctly, people should want to have peace for its own sake, not as an alternative. Nevertheless, I guess in these times finding peace through almost any method is a good thing. However, why do we have to pay for peace with such sacrifices as conflict, war, or worse? We can find peace much more effectively and quickly, and at a lower cost to life, if we find it through peaceful means.
There are some who would push society against the nature of the individual, which would result (and has resulted) in a society completely structured and ordered, void of individuality, individual thought, et cetera. Such efforts have always ultimately failed and only left that society weaker. There are also those who would have society go to the other extreme—the extreme of the animal, marked by things such as anarchy, self-absorption, et cetera. That type of society leaves us vulnerable to the future. We must think logically and not succumb to the extremes. We must not become vulnerable, allowing us or our future to be taken advantage of or put in jeopardy. We cannot allow the vulnerability of others to be used against them or used to jeopardize their future either. Yes, it is true that we should not condone the slothfulness of those who do not help themselves. But it is also the duty of all of us to help others so they may be able to help themselves. More importantly, it is our duty to protect the innocent and vulnerable. I personally detest those who prey upon the innocent and vulnerable. It disgusts and saddens me that a