FLISS
It really started with Diane. And Ted, of course. They had been friends for a long time, close friends, close enough for him to propose marriage to her. It was a proposal she turned down, in a manner that might have been a little more tactful and less perfunctory. Ted didn’t forget. Ted never forgot things like that. He said nothing at the time, but stored what was a clear insult deep in his memory, savouring it and letting the hurt grow, pending a future when he might have the occasion to return the compliment. Good with his hands, an expert amateur with a piece of wood, he was less than perfect when it came to human relationships. So Diane preferred somebody else. Well, that was part of the game, and he had no quarrel with that. He just wished she might have let him down a bit more tactfully, but then tact was never one of Diane’s strong points.
Ted settled down to his woodworking hobby, a welcome respite from the cut throat business of salesmanship from which he earned a very good salary indeed. It was a hobby that enabled him to put Diane out of his mind - for a while.
Early one evening, there came a quiet knock on the door. With a sigh, he put down the piece of wood that formed the belly of the latest in what gave all the appearance of being an increasingly long line of violins, and answered the summons. It was Diane. His mouth opened and closed in surprise.
’Hello Ted. Can I come in?’
’Yes. Yes, of course. Sit down.’
He hastily dusted a chair, one he had just completed except for the polishing, spread a clean paper on top and offered it to her. She sank down gratefully.
’This is a surprise,’ he stammered. ’I didn’t know you were in town. Or have you come back to live?’
’I might be doing just that. As it happens, I’m on a short visit to my parents, and I thought I’d look you up while I was in the area. So, how are you, Ted?’
’I’m fine. How are you?’
She ignored the question, but asked him another.
’Still working for Burney, I suppose?’
’Yes, still there, and doing quite well too. Supervisor already, two years earlier than I had any right to expect. It doesn’t pay much more but it’s a step in the right direction.’
She looked around the workshop, lip curling slightly, not understanding the order in what seemed to her to be merely a clutter of wood and metal. Two or three musical instruments hung on the walls in various stages of completion. Boxes containing smaller items were stacked on a shelf.
’Is that what you really want? I mean, travelling around selling things to people, then shutting yourself up like this in the evening, making things out of wood?’ His hobby had been a bone of contention between them earlier. Diane resented the time and money he spent on his hobby, considering that she could find better uses for both.
’Yes. I like it, and it brings in a bit more money.’ It wasn’t the only thing he really wanted. He felt the urge to tell her, but his natural caution allowed the moment to pass.
’But why am I talking about myself? It is good to see you, Diane. How are you keeping? You must be married by now. I heard you had plans.’
She looked at him reflectively for a long time before answering. A jumble of thoughts ran through her mind, clamouring for attention, jostling for priority.
’No, I’m not married. I had plans, yes. Unfortunately they didn’t come to anything.’ She spoke slowly, with a rare hesitancy. ’Ted, there’s something I’d like to tell you. Can I be honest with you?’
’Of course.’
’And you won’t let what I say go any further?’
’Not if you don’t want me to.’
’No, whatever else you might have been, you were never a gossip. All right then. I’m not married, but I should be. He left me.’
’I’m sorry to hear that,’ said Ted, a sudden whirl of conflicting emotions running through him, sorrow not actually being one of them.
’There’s more. He left last week, the moment I told him I was pregnant. He said ¨Pregnant? Goodbye¨, and disappeared. I haven’t seen him since. Nor am I likely to. Nor do I particularly wish to do so.’
’I see,’ said Ted thoughtfully. ’Do your parents know?’
’No. Not yet. I’m hoping it won’t be necessary to tell them. You can imagine what their reaction will be.’
He did. It wasn’t difficult to guess what a pair of stuffy, old fashioned moralists would make of the matter.
’Yes. I guess they’ll raise the roof. But you can’t hide the fact. Not for very long, anyway. What are you going to do?’
’About the boyfriend? I don’t know. I have no idea where he is. I don’t really want to know. If he can let me down like this, then marrying him is not likely to be a solution, is it? I could get him to pay maintenance, I suppose, but I’m not short of money. The parents see to that. Or will do for as long as I do nothing that will upset them. The only thing is, it leaves me with a bit of a problem. You’re the only person I’ve told, and I’d like to keep it that way for as long as possible.’
She hesitated, then continued speaking in a low voice, watching him carefully as she spoke.
’I don’t know if you can forgive me for the way I treated you, Ted, but if you can, I have an idea which may help to make up for it.’
’There’s nothing to forgive,’ he said, without a qualm of conscience at the lie. ’I couldn’t hold you against your will.’ That much was true, at least. Not without some form of kidnapping and bondage, a length even Ted wasn’t prepared to go to. Not that his conscience wouldn’t allow, but such things had a nasty habit of coming out.
’Perhaps not. Ted, you know what people are like. A woman can’t have a baby unless she’s married. Otherwise she’s put through hell. The child suffers as well. Now I’m beginning to make a name for myself in local politics, and I need to be seen as respectable, otherwise I’m out in the cold. My baby needs a name. It’s asking a lot, I know, but call it a business arrangement if you like. Look upon it in any way that pleases you. Give my child your name, and I’ll help you financially. There’ll be plenty. You know the revered parents are pretty well off. I expect you’ll want to think about it, but please don’t take too long. I’m about six weeks pregnant, and nothing shows as yet, but it will, before very long. Nobody’s going to believe in a premature birth of course, but they can pretend to do so, and that’s really all that matters.’
Ted shook his head at her slowly, enjoying the feeling of power he now had over her.
‘I always knew you were a bit hard, Diane, but I never thought you would go to this extreme. You really expect me to take on another man’s brat? You made your bed, you lie on it. Obviously you’ve being doing a fair bit of that as well. Lying on a bed, that is. Your choice, you stick with it. I wouldn’t touch you for double what you’re offering. Give me a couple of years more, and I’ll have more money than even your parents dreamed about.’
‘But Ted,’ said Diane desperately.
‘But Ted,’ he mocked. ‘Get out. If your boyfriend doesn’t want you, I certainly don’t. I prefer quality, not somebody else’s leavings, and a good deal fresher than you seem to be.’
‘You wanted me once,’ said Diane. ‘You know you did.’
‘Once, yes. Maybe. Not now. You should have stuck with me when you had the chance. You deserve what you’ve got.’
There was no doubt that Ted was not possessed of a forgiving nature. He brooded over the incident for many months afterwards, taking pleasure in Diane’s disgrace, turning more and more bitter in the process, though always and ever putting on a charming face, so no-one ever suspected the black side of his nature. For a long time afterwards, he rejected female company, at the same time being frustrated at his inability to take revenge on womankind in general, as he had taken his pitiful revenge on Diane. Then he met, or rather rediscovered a young woman he had once known at school.
*
Evidently, Fliss realised, she would have to be the one to make the first move. At first she found it hard to decide what that move should be, but an opportunity arose early in the winter. It had been snowing heavily all Friday, and the roads into the valley were only just passable. Ted came rather later than usual, and parked his silver grey Jaguar outside his cottage. Strangely, he did not appear in The Green Man, which was his invariable custom after a long drive, no matter how late he got in.
’No Ted tonight?’ asked Harry. ’I saw his car, and I thought he would be here.’
’A bit unusual,’ agreed George. ’I hope he’s all right. Maybe a bit tired. It must have been a hard drive in this weather.’
’Not like him to arrive without saying a word, though. Well, I expect we’ll find out tomorrow.’
One of the problems of living in such a small village is that nobody is allowed any privacy at all. On the other hand, nobody can get into trouble without being offered help.
Without a word, Fliss sidled out. Her disappearance was noticed, but uncommented on. There are times when even the most curious of characters knows when to keep counsel. As might have been guessed, and undoubtedly was, she went straight round to Ted’s cottage and knocked on the door. After a few seconds fumbling with the latch, the door was opened and a wan face peered out.
’Oh, hello Fliss. Come on in out of the snow. It’s perishing out there.’
’Ted! What on earth’s wrong with you? You look dreadful.’
’Oh, nothing much. I just slipped on the path when I came in and sprained my ankle. At least, I think it’s only a sprain.’
’Let me see,’ said Fliss. ’Sit down there and give me your foot. Hm... well, it does look as though you are right. I can ask the doctor to come in if you like, but I don’t really think it’s more than a bad wrench.’
’Well, I can walk on it, though it’s a bit painful, so I’m sure there’s nothing broken.’
’How are you for food?’ asked Fliss, her mind flying at once to practical details.
’There’s nothing much in. I had planned to do some shopping tomorrow.’
’Well, never mind. You stay indoors and keep your weight off that foot. Let me know what you want, and I’ll get it for you. I’ll even cook it for you if you let me help you eat it. Do you need anything now?’
’No thanks. Well, maybe just a drink. Otherwise I’ll just get myself to bed and rest.’
It was a novel experience for Ted to be fussed over in this way, but one which he found he enjoyed, and he began to look upon his companion in a rather different light than previously. Strange, he thought, how it takes something like this to open a man’s eyes. Once she was just a kid at school, a rather obnoxious one at that. It wasn’t always easy to remember that obnoxious little kids tended to grow up.
On the Sunday night he claimed to be much better, but was clearly in no fit state to return to work.
’Now there’s no point in worrying over it, Ted. You can’t go back to work yet. You’re simply not fit enough for such a long drive. Be sensible and take a few days off. I’m sure they owe you that much at least.’
For once in his life, Ted needed little encouragement, and accordingly rang up his firm to inform of the situation.
Fliss came in every day after work and continued her by now scarcely needed ministrations. The week passed. The following weekend approached. Soon Ted would be leaving again. Friday evening arrived and he felt capable of walking to The Green Man, supported by Fliss only slightly more than necessary. They didn’t stay long. The accident, followed by lack of exercise for several days, had left him feeling weaker than he had imagined.
’I’m sorry I spoiled your night,’ he said. ’Twenty minutes in the pub is hardly high living. And you got dressed up for it as well. You look nice. Thanks for looking after me.’
She wrinkled her nose. ’Think nothing of it, Ted. It was my pleasure. And as for spoiling my night, as you say, a drinking session in the pub doesn’t rate as high living, not even in this village. How about a drink now?’
’Help yourself. There’s tea, coffee, cocoa. Nothing stronger in here, I’m afraid.’
’Coffee will be fine. No, sit still, I’ll make it.’
Pausing by the cassette player, she picked up a selection of the tapes beside it.
’You’ve a good choice of music here. Would you like something on?’
’Yes please. You choose.’
’It’s mainly classical, I notice.’
’That’s right. I like to have something soothing to listen to when I’m travelling so much. Something a bit more than wallpaper music anyway. It helps to while away the long hours on the road.’
Fliss set the serving tray on an occasional table and sat down on a low armchair alongside. Ted noticed the graceful way in which she managed the operation. He liked to see that in a woman, but he wondered if she realised she was giving him a view of certain lacy bits underneath the dress. On consideration, probably not. That chair, he decided, is really too low for modesty. Still, it was an agreeable scene, one that he could look at freely without appearing to do so. A man could do a lot worse than keeping company with Fliss, he thought. He’d had worse, certainly. An image of Diane as he had last seen her crossed his mind and he shivered internally, yet with a feeling of pleasure. Not that he was cold. The fire threw out a warm glow, casting pleasant shadows on the walls. A soft hint of sweet smelling perfume filled the air, mixing with the aroma of the coffee and somehow giving him an impression of cosy domesticity. Strange, he thought, I never realised how sensuous Beethoven can be. A man could lose his head like this. It’s all part of the ambience, of course, sweet music, two twenty five watt bulbs glowing dimly, eau de something or other drifting through the air, flames from the grate throwing Fliss’s features into semi-relief, her hair framed in a narrow band of burnished copper. His thoughts wandered further and he wondered, with a slight sense of shock, how life would be with Fliss as a more permanent companion. It was a new thought, and one he found not displeasing. It would make a change. He had no companion at the moment, had had none for a very long time.
’So you’ll be leaving on Sunday night. I’ll miss you.’
’Not for long, I hope. I’ll probably come back next weekend, depending on how much work has piled up in my absence. Well, I guess I’ll miss you too. I’m not used to being coddled. I have to confess I rather enjoyed it.’
’That’s all right. I enjoyed doing it. Shall I pour you a cup?’
She edged forward on the chair, her dress rucking well above her knees in the process. Ted’s eyes opened wide. A restrained and innocent view was one thing, but this was almost blatant. Not that he minded in the slightest, being a man who could enjoy the sight of an attractive woman at any time, but he could no longer pretend he didn’t notice what she was displaying.
’Er, don’t take this the wrong way, Fliss, but you seem to be showing a bit more than is conventional.’ No sense in frightening her off. A tactful statement was probably enough to reassure.
Pure white, he could see.
’What? Oh, my dress. That’s the trouble with this sort of material. It tends to wander.’
She made a half hearted and careless effort to pull the hem down, covering only the minimum necessary for strict propriety, and continued sitting on the edge of the chair, showing off the rest of her long and shapely legs.
’Will you really miss me, Ted, or is it just the nursing care you’ve got used to?’
He contemplated briefly, wondering where all this might lead to.
’That sounds like a leading question, but I’ll answer it anyway. You’ve been very good to me, and I appreciate being looked after, but I think it’s you I will miss after all.’
A silence ensued while they gazed at each other steadily, heads swimming slightly. And that’s not the drink, thought Ted. There wasn’t enough of it for that. She’s quite a woman. Wonder why I never noticed it before? He opened his mouth to speak, closed it again, then smiled internally as he found the words he needed.
’Would you mind very much if I kissed you?’ he said.
In answer, Fliss leaned even further forward, sliding down to her knees before Ted’s chair, face uplifted. The hem of her dress caught on the chair corner, pulling it higher than before, but she was unheeding of the expanse of flesh she was now exposing. Ted moved to meet her, and lips met in a long, slow, languorous kiss.
’We’re like a couple of teenagers down here on the floor,’ said Ted, when he could breathe properly again.
’Who cares? I’ve wanted you to do that for a long time, Ted. I was beginning to think you never would.’
He grinned at her.
’Perhaps you should have worn that dress a bit earlier. Or in this case, only half wearing it. I don’t know if you realise it, but you are showing off even more than you did earlier.’
’Are you so old fashioned? Do you disapprove? Or don’t you like what you see?’
’I’m not, and no, I can’t say that I do, though I might under different circumstances. I don’t know how conventional I am, but in my own way, I think I’m a fairly normal man, and I have to admit I do like what I see, perhaps rather more than I should when you consider we are on our own here. Don’t you think you are taking a bit of a risk, revealing all that lace to a strange man?’ He thought he could guess her response to the studied question.
’Perhaps I am, but I still don’t care. And you’re no stranger. On the contrary, I think it’s fair to say we are perhaps a good deal more than just good friends. I don’t mind if you see the colour of my underwear, Ted. Who do you think I put it on for in the first place?’
He stared at her with an amused expression on his face.
’Are you, by any chance, trying to seduce me?’ he asked’
’That was the general idea, yes.’ There was only the briefest of hesitations before answering. ’There, so now you know, and if you don’t like the idea, you can send me away as a wanton woman. That is, if you know what a wanton woman is.’
Ted hesitated before speaking, wanting to collect his thoughts into a logical order, wanting to say just the right thing. He crossed his fingers mentally, trusting that the season for thunderstorms was over.
’You may be glad to hear that I don’t. Perhaps that’s been my trouble. I’ve been too busy working and making a career to have much to do with women, especially the wanton kind. That’s no-one’s fault but my own, of course. Anyway, I don’t think you are wanton at all. Nor do I particularly want to send you away. It’s giving no secrets away to say I find you attractive, dare I even say desirable, which is not too surprising when you flaunt yourself in that manner, but I don’t see you as just anyone’s for the price of a glass of tonic water.’ He wondered briefly what her price was. Everybody had a price.
’I’m not, and thanks for the compliment. In fact, it might interest you to know that I’ve never been anyone’s for any price.’
’And now?’ he asked softly. ’No, don’t bother answering that. It’s getting a bit hard to concentrate. I wouldn’t like you to let yourself in for something you may later regret.’
’We might look like a pair of fifteen year olds not quite sure what to do next, but I do think we are old enough to know our own minds, don’t you? Oh Ted, don’t just sit there looking astonished. Kiss me again. Wait a moment, this dress is nothing but a wretched nuisance.’
Swiftly she stood up and smoothed her clothing down, fluffing out her underskirt in a way that made the man’s head pound harder than ever.
’There, perhaps you can concentrate now, though I’m not sure it wouldn’t be better to take it off altogether. More straightforward, anyway.’
’Now that would be taking a risk with your reputation,’ said Ted, breathing shortly and rapidly.
’Any reputation I enjoyed certainly disappeared the moment Mrs. Burton first saw me come in here last weekend. She’ll spread a story of some sort, no doubt. Isn’t a good thing no-one ever believes her?’
’I wasn’t exactly thinking of Mrs. Burton, or any other village gossip. Have you never heard of pregnancy? If you’d given me some advance warning of what you had in mind, I might have come prepared.’
’Only might, Ted?’
’Well,’ he laughed, ’it’s possible I could put it a bit stronger than a mere might.’
’I’ll admit that pregnancy is not really at the top of my list of priorities, at least, not tonight, although I have to admit that I wouldn’t turn down the chance of carrying your child. I love you Ted. I always have.’
A long silence ensued, during which neither moved. Only the shadows flickered around the room, casting faces into relief.
’Well, either give me my coat and tell me to go home, where I can cry in comfort, or lead me to the bedroom, preferably the latter. It’s the only seduction scene I’ve got, and I wouldn’t want to see it wasted.’
’It’s an excellent seduction,’ he assured her. ’The best it’s ever been my pleasure to receive.’
’Indeed, and how many times have you been seduced?’ she demanded, without anger, and not really wanting to know.
He smiled at her for a long moment, while she fretted in an anxiety of impatience and semi-frustration. Carefully, Ted, he thought. Carefully now. Put Diane out of your mind.
’Not many. You’re the first woman who ever tried it. That’s to the best of my knowledge, of course, but then I’ve always been a bit slow. Anyway, I’d have thought you would want to do the conventional thing and have the banns called first.’
She gazed at him with more than the merest suspicion of dampness in her eyes.
’Ted Fletcher, is that a proposal of marriage?’
’I suppose it must sound that way.’ She didn’t notice how neatly he had evaded the question.
’You don’t have to, you know. If I’m going to be a fallen woman, it’s by my own choice. After all, I can hardly claim I was forced against my will.’
’Is that a refusal?’ he asked, with a carefully composed face.
’I’d marry you tomorrow, Ted. Tonight, if it was possible and if I hadn’t other, slightly more urgent things on my mind. I would have married you ages ago, except that you never got around to asking. Shameful, aren’t I? You left me once, although you never knew it. Neither did anyone else, thank goodness. I don’t want to lose you again.’
She didn’t mention Diane directly, but he knew that the thought ran through her mind.
’Excuse my tardiness. If it’s a proposal you are wanting, consider you have been proposed to. I can’t honestly say I intended to propose to you tonight, but now you put the thought in my mind, it seems like a very good idea.’
She reached out her hands to him and pulled him to his feet. His arms went around her, holding her close, smothering her lips with breathless kisses. Her long hair fell softly across his face with a sensuous sensation.
‘I can’t quite think how I got into this situation with a beautiful young woman I’m not married to,’ said Ted, ‘especially when she seems to be intent on cutting off my ability to breathe, but I have to admit it’s no bad thing to be unconventional at times.’
’I’ve never been made love to by a man with a sprained ankle before. How unconventional is it possible to be?’ said Fliss with a giggle.
It was not a particularly bright remark, and she knew it, but the tensions of the moment had driven anything sensible out of her mind.
’No? Well, it’s none of my business, of course, but from your earlier remarks I rather took you to be the virginal type.’
’Oh, I am, Ted, I am. Whether I remain that way is very much up to you. I’ve gone as far as any woman of impeccable virtue should go, even further, and the next move is very much yours.’
The tone of voice was light and joking, but the words contained a seriousness of purpose that was impossible to miss. Ted ran his hands down her body, enjoying the soft shapeliness of it.
’You know something?’ he murmured. ’I think you are right. Things would be more straightforward if this dress was off.’
No other word was spoken, but in a process of mutual understanding, they moved as one to the foot of the staircase. The tape ran to its eventual finish and clicked off. Neither heard it end.
As it turned out, the promises that Ted had given so easily proved to be just as easily broken, and Fliss soon found herself on her own, angry and perhaps a good deal wiser. If he ever had promised anything, as Fliss ruefully realised afterwards. She retreated into a life of a semi recluse for a while, enjoying the fact of being responsible to no-one. It was while on a lazy week’s holiday at home that the reports started coming in. Startling reports. Disturbing reports. Frightening reports.
*
A bright red small car made its way along the dual carriageway. The road was fairly clear for the most part, and the few vehicles that were met had, for the most part, considerately pulled in to the verge. The driver of the red car, a young woman, kept her eyes firmly fixed forwards, knowing what she would see if she looked left or right, not wanting to see that which she had witnessed so many times before. Too many times.
Now there came an obstruction. A bridge crossed the road, casting a shadow on the tarmac below. A bus was wrapped around one of the bridge pillars, slewed sideways and half on the embankment, nearside wheels raised slightly in the air. Several other vehicles had clearly run into the back of it, and an articulated lorry blocked the carriageway completely. There were no fewer than five cars which had run into the side of the lorry and hung there like piglets sucking at the sow.
Cautiously, the driver slowed down, looking for a way through, trying not to look too closely at the burnt out vehicles which littered the carriageway.
‘Oh my God,’ she whispered, as a movement caught her eye. She stopped the car totally and, opening the door, got out slowly, as in a dream. She walked stiffly towards the embankment near to the front of the bus and stared in disbelief at a figure sitting on the grass and rocking backwards and forwards. It was, or appeared to be, a child, and the expression on its face was one that the observer hoped never to see again. Blank and vacant on the one hand. Knowledgeable on the other, with the knowledge that one so young should never be subjected to. She, it was a girl, as the short skirt indicated, though who knew nowadays, looked pale and weak. The woman approached with care. Something tugged at her mind as she passed one of the burned cars, cars she tried not to look inside at the charred flesh. What was it? She shook her head in irritation as she sought to define the feeling. Yes, that was it. Burned out, but cold. There was no heat except for that coming from the Autumn air. Warily she reached out with her fingers and checked. No heat on the metal. Stone cold. Even more warily, she came within a couple of paces of the still rocking girl. She could see bruises, some quite bad looking and at least one cut on the girl’s leg, a cut that had dried up blood on it.
‘Hello,’ she said. ‘My name’s Fliss.’
There was no answer, but the girl stopped moving.
‘Hello,’ said the woman again.
A head lifted and eyes stared into hers. No expression crossed the girl’s face. For a long moment they looked at each other.
What, thought Fliss to herself in horror, does she see?
‘Are you on your own?’
A slight nod of the head.
‘Is there anybody else here. I mean, anybody else alive?’
The girl’s head went from side to side.
‘Then, who are...? Are you... What’s your name?’
Silence. Just a look that said nothing. Not a hostile look, not even unfriendly. Just nothing.
Puzzled, but reaching a decision, Fliss stretched out her arm and took the girl’s hand in her own, lifting her gently to her feet. She stumbled slightly, and Fliss put her arm around the thin shoulders.
‘Come on,’ she said. ‘I think you’d better come with me. Is there anyone here you know?’ Knew, she corrected herself savagely.
Again, just a brief nod, nothing more. The older woman eased the girl away from the wreckage and towards her own car. The girl moved like an automaton, yet offered no resistance. The car was soon turned round and moved back along the dual carriageway to the nearest exit.
The wrong way round, thought the driver, but I’m not likely to meet anyone who cares about it. A tinge of amusement crossed her mind as she reflected that for once, the term “woman driver” might be justified.
They stayed together that night in a department store, Fliss having reckoned that such was likely to offer almost anything that might be needed in the way of food, beds, and washing facilities. She was chary at this time of entering any private dwelling. The horrors that probably lay within were too much to face.
For months, they stayed together, the young girl being obedient, going where she was pushed, doing what she was told without comment. The strain began to tell on Fliss, but she took her new found responsibilities seriously, discovering in her companion a reason to continue living, at a time when it would have been so easy just to let go, and join the majority.
To judge by the light, it must have been about mid summer, when Fliss swore violently, using a stock of words that had been building up for many months. The car had stopped, for no apparent reason. It couldn’t be lack of petrol, as the ta