Learning about sexual culture takes place through sexual discourses. Sexual culture is conceived as all discourses (messages) on sex and sexuality transmitted to people, the contradictions they contain, the resistances they cause and they way in which they are implanted through “discursive practices”.
A series of non-discursive factors also forms part of the sexual culture, such as the economy, technology, the body and others, such as vehicles. Macho sexual culture is, then, the result of the interaction of different discourses and the reality in which they unfold. Space, for example, is the product of a culture and at the same time, it re-creates it. The fact that the truck driver considers his vehicle to be divided into areas and does the same with his life in the trailer yard, is both a result and a principle of a culture that, as we shall see, is characterized by its division into mental and real compartments.
As “sexual discourse” we understand all those ideas, principles, notions, myths and symbols that different cultures formulate on sexuality at different times and in different places. Sexual discourses are present in all cultures and are the predominant factor in shaping them. This means that the specific sexual behavior of an individual in a given culture is, in part, the result of his or her own assimilation of the discourses.
Among the formal discourses are those promoted by science – through medicine, reproductive health, psychiatry or sexology – religion (fundamentalist or non-fundamentalist) the law, the media and the education system. Among the informal discourses are those on gender or machismo, which promote the creation of a separate masculine and feminine sexuality with different attitudes, behaviors, rights and obligations for men and women, and romantic love versus erotic love, among others.
Sexual discourses have a series of characteristics. Some of these are mentioned below.
Truckers are traditional men. Most are married with children. As Christians, they receive religious instruction on sexuality mainly from the Catholic Catechism, which is obligatory for Confirmation in the Catholic Church. Although Christianity is the most important sexual discourse and affects all aspects of their lives, it felt the most in the home and the community. It is a discourse that promotes asymmetry between men and women, but for reasons different than “machismo”.
Creation is divine and heterosexuality is the accepted norm
Carlos is convinced that men and women were created to be companions to one another. For this reason, God established heterosexuality as the norm. When we ask him why he thinks God created man before woman, if he intended to create them both from the beginning, he gives us a very masculine theological interpretation: “God first made man who was alone in (the garden of) Eden. But man was very careless and he left everything untidy in the garden. In a few days, the garden was a disaster. So God decided to create woman to clean up.”
Alberto believes that this order is connected with the ban on masturbation, which is also in the Bible. According to this young trucker, when man was alone in the Garden of Eden, all he did was “jerk off” and think about “dirty things”. To put a stop to this behavior, God made woman. However, we ask him what man would think about if God had not yet invented woman. “Well, there were cows and mules”, he says confidently. Gilberto is more serious about this matter and says that the relationship between man and woman is in the Bible, and that there is “no other Adam” with whom to have homosexual relations. “Or another Eve”, we add. “Yes, though the serpent was a female because it was the one that invented gossip,” he concludes.
Sexuality goes hand in hand with sin and marriage is an alternative for the sins of the flesh. Divorce is against divine law.
Jorge believes that “God suffers a lot when he sees the terrible things that depraved people do”. When we ask him what types of things he thinks God disapproves of, he says that the Lord is very sickened by promiscuity. “He always told Mary Magdalene to turn away from sin and get married and have children like a decent lady,” he says. “And where are these recommendations?” we ask with curiosity. “Well, I don’t know, but since she was a whore, he would have whispered in her ear so as to no shame her in front of other women.”
For Christian religion, human sexuality, devoid of the purpose of union and procreation, is sinful. Jorge recognizes this, explaining that “Adam and Eve were expelled for that (sex).” According to Miguel, “marriage is a very sacred duty that God has given us.” Alberto believes that God created marriage to prevent sin. “The Lord wanted each person to have a mate and that’s why he invented marriage, so that nobody would sin anymore.” “Do you know when God invented marriage?” we ask with curiosity. “He invented it after he made Eve. She wanted to get married, like all women.” “I don’t recall a marriage ceremony in Genesis”, I answer surprised. “Well, that’s because there weren’t any guests, because they were very poor so it was very simple and in secret.” Given that matrimony is a divine gift, men and women should do “everything possible to protect the family”, says Gilberto. He believes that the family is at the center of society and that it is one’s duty to do everything to safeguard it.
Among baptized Catholics, “a consummated marriage cannot be dissolved by any human power for any reason, except for death.”74 Ernesto believes that “marriage should be for life”.
The purpose of marriage is procreation and virginity is a requirement for marriage
“You have to marry and have children to please the Lord,” says Pedro with a tremulous voice. He believes that “the Lord loves and adores children. That’s why he wants so many of them.” “But why doesn’t he content himself with fewer and that way we can all eat better?” we ask him. “Don’t be an atheist, man. Don’t you see that if God likes to play with little kids, why should we interfere with his pleasures?”
Most of those interviewed agreed with the idea that God wants everyone to be a virgin when they marry. “I know that some men who are macho don’t agree with that,” says Pablo, “but there’s nothing more sacred than to be totally innocent on your wedding night.” Heriberto agrees completely. “Our wedding night was wonderful because my wife was a saint. I was the first man, and I’m sure that pleased God.” “And were you also a virgin on your wedding night?” we ask. “Well, to be honest, no. But now I wish I had been.”
Recreational sex is bad and so is “unnatural” family planning. Fornication and adultery are unthinkable
For the Jewish religion, the waste of semen was a grave sin. In Jewish teaching, this was considered to be an extension of Onan’s sin (Gen. 28.9)75. Jorge regards masturbation with “great disgust” and as a “terrible” sin that “displeases the Lord”. We ask him if he has ever masturbated. He admits that he has, “but I use a sock so that the Lord won’t directly see how badly I’m acting.” He adds, “if I’m going to sin, I ask God’s forgiveness for what I’m going to do and promise him that it’ll be the last time.” “And has it been the last time?” we probe. “Well, no, but who’s counting?”
Oral and anal sex is even worse. Enrique believes that man is “despicable” in debasing the use of his organs. It is inconceivable that a man should use his mouth or his anus for sex. Although more problems arise with the ban on family planning, most truckers know that by using contraception they are going against God’s will. Pepe says he asks God’s forgiveness each time he uses a condom, because he knows that it is “not well regarded by the Church”.
Emilio almost cries when he tells us how much God disapproves of fornication. “I feel like crying when I see how so many sin by not following that commandment. Its’ not right that we should make Our Lord suffer so much with so much depravity.” “Do you think that of you fornicate, you condemn yourself?” we ask. “No, no sonny, it’s not such a big deal. That’s why Catholics have forgiveness, by truly repenting the Lord forgives us.”
Prostitution represents a human failing and homosexuality is unnatural
We ask several truck drivers what they think about prostitutes. “A prostitute is a woman who has lost the shame of her sex and has fallen as low as you can fall,” says Erick. “A prostitute is perhaps a bit like a snake, condemned to Hell by temptation,” answers Jose. “And do you think they both go to the same place when they die?” we ask. “I’m sure Hell is full of them. Some burning in the flames and others being trampled by devils,” he replies.
The truck drivers are very homophobic, as we shall see further on. Homosexuality is regarded with “contempt”, “disgust”, “distaste” and “anger”.
The origins of romantic love in the West date back to the 12thcentury when the first stories of chivalry appeared. These recount the sacrifices made by valiant knights in pursuit of the ideal love of a woman, who is generally unattainable. The passion felt by both means that the most difficult feats could be accomplished.76 In the twentieth century novels and the media have continued with modified versions of the romantic discourse in music, cinema, soap operas and the theater. It has an important influence on truck drivers, and even more so on their women. According to this discourse, the main purpose of sexuality is to share love and passion is the key emotion. Truckers are less romantic than their women, although they too follow its precepts, especially at home.
Sex is permitted only when there is love and passion. Lovers should say only “romantic” things (not directly) in their sexual relations. Love erases all sins of the flesh. Feminine virginity is important, but it is understood when it is lost for love. In fact, it becomes the main way of proving love, particularly on the part of women.
Jose is married to a very religious woman. “With my wife, I never say a bad word and when we have sex I only tell her that I love her and adore her.” However, both know that his wife was three months pregnant when they got married. Given that he accepts Church dogma with respect to virginity, we ask him why they did not follow the rules. He replies that they were “very much in love” and “gave each other proof of our love”. When we ask him to explain what that proof consisted of, he said that if a woman surrenders her virginity for love, it was not a sin. “It’s a way of demonstrating that you trust each other and making sacrifices to please your beloved,” he says with pride. “And you married her because of the promise she made you?” we ask. “Well, the truth is, I married her because her father put a gun to my head.”
Arturo admits that “proof of love” is a form of pressure that men use to make their girlfriends sleep with them. According to him, macho men use romanticism to trick women. “They see son many soaps and romantic movies that they fall like flies when you ask them for sex,” he says with a broad smile. “A little while ago, I was dating a Guatemalan girl who only watched soaps and after going out with her three times I told her that I had suffered a lot with women and didn’t want to go through that again. „But why would I make you suffer?’ she asked, sobbing. „Because women are very selfish and only go for what suits them’, I said. „I’ll show you that it won’t happen with me,’ she said firmly. „We’ll see when you have to prove to me that you love me’, I replied.” According to Arturo, the following week they had sex in a motel. “You see that I’m a sincere woman”, she said proudly. “Yes my love, now I know that you love me,” he told her with satisfaction. We asked Arturo if the girl had felt bad the following day. “I can’t answer that because I never saw her again.”
When you love each other, you should make all kinds of sacrifices. There should be no obstacles for lovers. Love overcomes all social, political and religious differences.
Cirino tells us that Amalia, his wife, was a “fierce” Christian who only thought about the word of the Lord. However, she fell madly in love with him and decided to make all kinds of sacrifices for this love. “At first I asked her to perform oral sex on me and Amalia couldn’t do it. “The Church says it’s a sin,” she would say. But Cirino would insist: “if you really loved me you’d make an effort to please me”. Amalia said she would talk it over with a “sister” from the Church and would think about it. When she returned the next day Cirino asked her what the response had been. “My sister said that as long as I didn’t do it during Lent, when it’s forbidden to eat meat, I should think of it like eating the host.”
Sexual techniques are not so important. Love is all you need. And when you stop loving, divorce or the break-up of the couple is justified.
Pepe does not think it is important to learn about sex, because love teaches you everything. We ask him if his sexual experience has provided him with knowledge of how to obtain greater pleasure and he answers yes. “So,” we ask again, “how can you tell us that there are no techniques to learn?” “Well, I was talking about women. The more innocent they are, the more desirable. It’s not considered romantic for a woman to know what she wants,” he answers. Marcos agrees. “A woman should wait for the man to teach her everything about sex. If she knows something, it’s because she’s a whore and doesn’t really know how to love, “ he says firmly.
The origins of this discourse are found in pagan societies and particularly in Ancient Greece. According to Foucault77, the Greeks had a very different attitude to sex and unlike Christianity, sexual pleasure or the act of sex were not seen as intrinsically bad or sinful. The Greeks recognized them as a source of enormous pleasure, comparable with good food or wine. This discourse has found support among truckers and is practiced on the street. Unlike machismo, it is not asymmetrical in terms of men’s and women’s rights. It believes that both men and women have bodies and sexual needs to satisfy. Truckers’ wives, with few exceptions, do not agree with it. However, it is the discourse of the women of the street and homosexuals.
There is a sexuality of the street that is different to the “normal” one practiced at home. Pleasure is the main principle to follow. The entire body participates. There are no prohibitions on its use, or ways of controlling its language, unless these are harmful. Oral sex, sadomasochism, masturbation, anal sex and sexual fantasy all form part of the “menu”.
As we shall see later, sex with your wife is “normal”, in other words vaginal sex. But with others, imagination or money are the only limits. Furthermore, in the discourse of the street, language turns the organs into food and forms a part of the sexual relationship. People can talk about their organs and use them as part of the relationship.
Feminism, as a movement, originated in the nineteenth century, though there have been several “waves” and different emphases. In Central America, the liberal version is best known. Liberal political theory is based on the concept that humans are essentially rational beings. Women’s unequal status in public life is the main focus of liberal feminism, particularly practices that limit women’s education and job opportunities.
Sexuality is influenced by the excessive power that men exercise thanks to their greater economic capacity. Women should have the same sexual rights as men. One of these is control over their own bodies. The supposed greater passivity of women is nothing other than their lack of economic and legal independence. True sexual pleasure is found only when both sexes enjoy similar power.
The vast majority of truckers do not agree with the feminist discourse. They regard as a discourse by and only for women. However, the advance of liberal ideas and human rights means that they are increasingly exposed to its principles. Ernesto, for example, admits that at home “my wife and daughters have the idea that I have to help to clean the house and take more notice of their opinions.” Jose says that his wife watches Cristina’s talk show and “that’s put a whole lot of Gringo ideas into her head about the equality of the sexes.” Carlos recently had an argument with his wife when she told him that she did not want to have sex one night and that she was „the owner of her body”. “Who put that idea into your head?” Carlos had yelled at her. “It’s in the declaration of human rights that they read to us at school,” she replied in “an arrogant tone”.
Julia, Mario’s wife, studies at night school because she wants to get a job. “Your salary isn’t enough”, she told him before she started at the night school for adults. Maria, Pedro’s wife, now sells tamales in her neighborhood. “Since she’s been earning her own money, I can’t tell her anything because she jumps at me,” he tells us with visible irritation. Elizabeth, Erick’s eldest daughter, does not want to marry or follow in her mother’s footsteps. “Why should I be my husband’s maid?” she told him when he asked her whether or not she was going to marry her boyfriend.
With the development of psychiatry in the West from the nineteenth century on, and its interest in serving as a bridge for the new states to “regulate” sexuality to their greatest convenience, a new independent discourse emerged. This is known to us as the scientific discourse, and it brings together many scientists including psychiatrists, doctors, demographers, sociologists, lawyers, economists, jurists and, in the twentieth century, sexologists. Truckers are exposed to this discourse at clinics, dispensaries and by the health authorities.
Sexual health is an objective of society and the State. Sex is a natural and pleasurable activity but it needs scientific information to be undertaken “responsibly”.
Truck drivers are aware that there is a sexual health discourse that advocates prevention, family planning and the national health plan of their respective countries. Those countries with large populations and high unemployment rates encourage the spacing of children and birth control. In those with smaller populations, the demographic control message is weaker. However, all countries try to combat sexually transmitted diseases, especially Aids, which is having a major impact in countries like Honduras, Guatemala and El Salvador.
Truckers not only have good information about the need to protect themselves from disease, but they are also aware that the sexual health discourse differs from others, especially that of the Catholic Church. “I know I’m going against what the Church says about this matter,” says Pedro, “but I do family planning, because the economic situation is very tough,” he explains. Cirino agrees that “the cost of living is very high and we can’t have eight or ten children like our parents did.”
Other scientific discourses have also found a response among truckers. Some are aware
of “modern” ideas about sexual orientation, feminine sexuality, abortion and other related subjects. Arturo, for example, considers that homosexuality is a mental illness and cites a few psychiatric studies to back up his thesis. Pancho understands “a bit” about female orgasms and the “G-spot”. Cirino, for his part, reads sexology magazines to learn about “new love making techniques” and he has also bought “special ointments in the pharmacy to delay ejaculation”. Noe has learnt to use a lubricant supplied by the company doctor when his wife “doesn’t lubricate”.
Unlike the religious discourse, the gender or “machista” discourse is learnt by groups of men and has no institution to promote it officially. Truckers and their women assimilate it in different ways and absorb in their own manner. Both know that it is not an “official” discourse and should only be expressed in “appropriate” places (never in front of representatives of science or religion). Unlike the erotic discourse, the gender discourse promotes asymmetrical relations between men and women and considers that women do not have the same rights. It is more commonly manifested in the truckers’ homes than when they are alone in the street or in the company of sexual minorities.
Men are sexually active by nature, larger in size and stronger than women. Activity, strength and size are superior to passivity, weakness and smallness. Penetration is superior to being penetrated. Women who are penetrated are worth less, unless they are married. Men who have multiple sexual relations with different women are more “macho”. Women who have many partners are dishonorable or whores.
Truckers subscribe to the machista discourse – 82% of them believe that a woman’s place is in the home and 80% believe that it is best for everyone that men work outside the home while the women take care of the children (Table2). “Women are meant to stay at home and wait for their husbands, take care of the kids and cook your meals,” says Joaquin, a Guatemalan trucker. “Women are born with a special hormone that makes them more nurturing, like a hen. This hormone comes out with their menstruation and it can be seen when their urine is more yellow. You don’t see hens in the street –they sit on their eggs, keeping them warm. Well, that’s how women should be: only concerned about taking care of their husband’s balls.”
Our questionnaire also included a battery of questions to measure sexism. Thus, 46% of truckers said that women are the only ones capable of taking care of the children and that men cannot do so, and 43% believe that when a woman does not agree with her husband or partner she should remain silent and 37% believe that men have the right to give order and that women should obey. Although the majority does not hold these views, the above percentages are high.
Alberto, a 32 year-old trucker from southern Nicaragua, is one of them. We ask him why he thinks that a woman should keep silent when she disagrees with her spouse. “If I want to have sex and she doesn’t, how will I keep my hard-on if the broad’s arguing with me? No, no, she has to keep quiet while I do the business.” “But don’t you think that’s almost like rape?” we ask with indignation. “Don’t be dumb, kid, when you get Married it’s to enjoy sex and have children, not to agree or disagree.”
When Don was asked if he would allow his wife to go around with another man he admits that he would take the attitude “what your eyes don’t see doesn’t hurt you”, in other words, so long as it happens in another “compartment” of your life, it is not so serious. However, if he found out, there would be trouble and plenty of it, he added.
| Interviewer: | Are you completely sure that your wife is faithful? |
| Don: | I know that she’s not seeing anyone else. |
| Interviewer: | And if she did have another man? |
| Don: | If my wife had another guy that would definitely be the end of the marriage. |
Carlos displays a similar attitude:
| Interviewer: | What if your wife were seeing another man? |
| Carlos: | I’d say she didn’t love me anymore. I wouldn’t grab a weapon to kill her, though. I’d say, “be on your way, it’s all over.” |
| Interviewer: | Do you think she knows that you have sexual relations with other women? |
| Carlos: | She knows something. We all have very smart wives. My wife knows I have sex outside and sometimes she insinuates it, and I say no. I just lie. |
In the random sample, interviewees were asked if they are in favor or against men having premarital sex. 69% supported the idea (in the case of women, only16% were in favor). (See Table 3). With regard to a man paying a woman to have sex, or having sex with different women, 52% and 40% respectively were in favor (for women, these percentages were below 4%). Infidelity was considered acceptable by 37% of the interviewees when it is a stable relationship with another woman other than the wife and 50% when it is an adventure (for women the percentages were less than 10%).
We were interested in probing the reasons for this double standard. Ernesto, a 29 year-old trucker from Honduras, believes that women have no reason to pay for sex, because “men are willing to do it for free. What real man can resist fucking a woman?” he replies in a surprised tone. “I’ve never turned down a fuck in my life,” he assures us. “Anyway, I’d get real mad to know that I could have charged for all the bad screws I’ve had. I’d be rich and wouldn’t be here working my balls off like a sucker.”
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66 The discourses attempt to define what constitutes sexuality, explain its significance, regulate the context in which it manifests and prescribe why, for what purpose, how, with whom, where and when sexual relations occur.
67 They discourage, forbid and censure everything that does not agree with their ends, principles and norms. The penalties for breaking the rules range from death, eternal condemnation, social ostracism or just simple disapproval.
68 They are based on an ideology and a vision of the world that goes beyond sexual matters. They form part of a philosophy of life that regards sexuality as an element of a whole.
69 This means that there is not necessarily a natural union of the parts that make up the whole (the exercise of sexuality). The discourses are not all integrated, but are sometimes a series of discontinuous segments that promote behaviors, attitudes, beliefs and values in different areas or issues.
70 Although it appears to contradict the previous point, the messages that are disseminated explicitly are as important as those that are disseminated implicitly. In other words, in the discourses what is said is as important as what is not said. This is because the part that does not belong to the discourse shapes our experience in as critical and important a way as that that does so.
71 They are transformed in time and space. A particular discourse may evolve differently in different places. Gender discourses, for example, may acquire different forms in urban or rural areas and among the different social classes and generations.
72 Discourses go hand in hand with the presence of dominators and the subjugated, and are never free of the exercise of power. With each aspect of a discourse that is promoted, a relationship of power is established. Some have more to gain from these discourses than others, but none is totally powerless to exert power or resist it.
73 As Foucault maintains, “when power is exercise, there is resistance” (Foucault, 1991). Just as discourses exercise power, they also create the possibility of resistance and we are never completely “trapped” by power, without the possibility of modifying it. Thus, discourses will always be “questioned” and undermined by the resistance of those who benefit the least from them.
74 The Catechism of the Catholic Church, Congregation for the Doctrine of the Faith, Montevideo: LUMEN, 1992, p.528.
75 Jacobo Schifter and Johnny Madrigal, Las Gavetas Sexuales del Costarricense y riesgo de infección con el VIH, San Jose, Costa Rica: IMEDIEX, 1996, p.64.
76 Robert A. Johnson, We: Understanding the Psychology of Romantic Love. California: Harper and Row, 1983.
77 Michel Foucault, The History of Sexuality III. The Care of the Self. Harmondsworth: Penguin, 1988