VIII. BULLYING OR THE CULT OF SIZE

The observation undertaken throughout the region and the structured questionnaire enables us to learn much about the different characteristics of truckers. In social and economic terms, they could be classified as being from middle and low class groups. The situations of extreme poverty and marginality found in other occupations (farmhands, construction workers, assorted vendors and others) were not observed. In general, we found that truckers were able to maintain themselves and their families.

As expected, truckers are adults whose ages are within the most economically active age groups (nine of every ten were under 50 years of age), and although almost one-third had not completed primary school or had even less formal education, almost all could read and write (Table 5). Far from being an illiterate group, their basic education enables them to perform their tasks as drivers.

According to Marvin, his friends claim that “since most truckers are dwarves, they do this job to feel bigger.” This is an interesting point, as there is a popular belief that truckers are physically large, rough, tough and strong. From the observations conducted among this group, we found that truckers are generally average people and that the ability to drive a truck does not depend on height. But their relationship with such a large machine makes people think that the driver must have the same characteristics. When Pablo’s friends see his height, they try to tell him that he is not as manly as he appears to be, or that he needs to drive a truck to be so.

One characteristic is that truckers are not organized in federations, associations, unions or chambers. This is the case even though 81% of them work for established companies (and do not own their trucks) and a similar percentage are salaried workers (Table 4). There are no organizations to safeguard the labor rights of truckers. When asked about this matter, they expressed interest in belonging to some form of organizations that would fight for better wages, for their health and for better accident and life insurance.

The exception to this rule is Nicaragua, where there are two truckers’ organizations: The Federation of Nicaraguan Transport Workers (FECATRANIC) and the Association of Nicaraguan Transport Workers (ATN). The reason this has occurred in Nicaragua and not in other Central American countries is that, for several reasons, a large proportion of drivers in this country own their trucks (48%). By contrast, in the rest of the region, businessmen own 81% of the trucks.

The truck owners, however, are organized. They are grouped together in the Central American Transporters’ Federation (FECATRAN), and umbrella group of all the transport associations in Central America to facilitate international transport of freight through the region and to negotiate free movement between countries with the various authorities responsible for traffic, customs, immigration, health, agriculture, the economy and economic integration. In addition, FECATRAN concerns itself with the education and well being of its members.⁸⁰

This lack of organization explains why salaries are considered low. Only 20% said they felt “very satisfied” with their wages. Their number of years in the job suggests that truckers have extensive experience of this type of work, since almost 90% (Table 4) has spent five or more years driving trucks (of these, half said they had between five and fourteen and nearly one-third had fifteen years or more). Truckers may spend up to forty years in this occupation, and they consider that the maximum age for this work is 55 to 60, depending on their state of health and transport company policy. Another characteristic of the job is that 85% (Table No. 6) said they worked alone, without any help.

One indicator of the truckers’ vulnerability is their lack of social protection. For example, it is well known that not all truckers are insured. Only 62% said their firm offered some form of insurance against risks and 5% said they had personal insurance policies. Moreover, we were able to corroborate that approximately 70% of truckers have no life insurance and when they do, this benefit is generally provided by the company (21% have life insurance through their firm and 9% acquired it personally). (Table No.7)

A premise of machismo is that a man is superior by virtue of his greater strength.⁸¹ However, as we have seen, truckers are men who have little power in their own communities, who must work in difficult conditions under the supervision of other men, with low salaries and few social benefits. Size is a cultural construction: truckers may feel small in their communities, but they find other ways of building themselves up again.

Their enormous, heavy vehicles are enough to intimidate anyone. The truck consists of three parts: the cab, the platform and a container. Cabs have eight to ten tires on their two axels, measure on average four meters, weigh approximately five tons and are capable of different speeds (eight to sixteen gears). The length of the containers is more variable, but they have another ten tires and weigh approximately two tons. This means that truckers drive machines that transport heavy materials, that have twenty tires in total, measure 14 meters in length and weight seven tons. They are capable of carrying up to 22 tons of weight, or even more. It is this vehicle that compensates truckers most for their vulnerability on other fronts.

Size matters

Truckers are aware of the popular idea that considers them to be physically large, rough, tough and strong. They themselves acknowledge that, whether myth or not, people regard them as strong. They are also thought to be ready for any fight. “In the villages we pass through, people consider us to be feisty and aggressive,” says Alberto, who fits the popular image of a trucker, because he is a tall dark man who and measures (1m. 80) with good biceps and a big chest. “To change a tire on a truck you need physical strength,” he says, “and it’s not every guy that has the strength to do it.” In addition, the road is full of dangers, both natural and human. Truckers are expected to defend themselves from thieves on the road and from inclement weather. “Once I was passing through Nicaragua,” says Julio, “and I was surprised by a band of thieves. I had to get out my revolver and shoot it out with them. Fortunately, the bandits took off,” he adds.

Appearances are projected to other parts of the body. Genaro says that women tell him his tongue is very large and that when he kisses, they feel it reaching down into their throats. “Many of them tell me that it’s like a snake that’s gone in too far, and that they’ve never experienced such a large piece of meat sliding down so deep, that sometimes they don’t know whether to breathe or allow themselves to be engulfed by it.” However, when Genaro shows me his tongue, I can’t see anything remarkable about it. “Well, Genaro, it looks like a normal size to me. I love cow’s tongue, to eat, but that’s really large,” I reply. “Unless it stretches when it’s stimulated, I don’t see anything special about your tongue,” I add. The trucker looks at me in some confusion and, unsure how to rebut me, says, “I thought I really did have a huge great tongue, so many women have said so that I believed it.” “Okay, so stop sticking your tongue out at me, because people looking at us will think that your making fun of me or that we’re both crazy!”

Julio is convinced that truckers’ hands are larger and more sought-after. He believes that the work of loading and unloading attracts men with large hands, who can handle more cargo. I ask him to show me his hands. They are large and full of calluses, but not neglected/unkempt. “Women love me to grab their asses with my hands. Some say it’s the combination of their large size and because they’re hot. And I won’t even tell you what I do with my fingers,” he says to arouse my curiosity. “Tell me what you do with your fingers! All this information is for our study, so nothing should be left out,” I say with curiosity. Julio wants to tell me but he’s playing „hard to get’. A few minutes later, he reveals that large fingers with calluses are great for stimulating the clitoris and that many women prefer them to a penis. “Look at this finger”, he says, “don’t you think it’s as large as a penis?” “Yes, I’ve seen penises smaller than your finger.” “Well, this big fat finger has seen a lot of tunnels, and I’m not talking about the ones on the road,” he boasts.

Arnoldo, from El Salvador, thinks physical strength is what is important for a trucker and what attracts women. He is a good height with an enormous capacity to lift heavy loads. His dark face, thick lips and black hair hardly move as he lifts a great container of bananas in a single movement. “I lift any woman I take to bed in the same way. They love it when you show them that you have the strength to lift them like a load,” he says with a smile. Physical strength is a requirement for work. At times they must load or unload merchandise on the road. Other times they must make complicated repairs. If we were to see Arnoldo on the street we would think he was a body-builder. His biceps and chest are totally developed. “Have you been told that you’ve got a great body?” I ask to pursue the subject. “Look, kid, a trucker’s work is hard and difficult. We’re the cowboys of the highway. But it’s not a lousy horse we’re riding but a dinosaur.” “But do you really think that you’re better or more attractive for being strong?” I ask. “We’re all attracted to what we don’t have. A woman who is weaker feels that a strong macho man can give her the strength she doesn’t have. And she’s not the only one who feels that way. Why do you think there are guys who dress up like women and walk the streets in search of men? What they’re looking for is a macho, a bull with well-hung balls,” he concludes.

If a tongue can deceive and appear longer, it is hardly surprising that the same can happen with a penis. “I’ll bet anyone,” says Jose, “that if I fuck a woman in the cab she’ll think my dick is larger than if I do it in a hotel.” According to this trucker, it isall a matter of perception and women are influenced by the place where they have sex. Cirino believes that his member is larger than average and that, for some reason, truckers are better endowed than ordinary men. “Take a good look,” he says as he takes out his penis, “what do you reckon this one measures?” Before my eyes appears a thick dark penis that looks at me like a small puppy hoping to be adopted. The trucker is not in the least ashamed of showing it to me and is willing to prove his point. I find this situation uncomfortable because I don’t know what to do or where to fix my gaze. “Well, Cirino”, I’m forced to reply, “I’m terrible at mathematics. I was never any good at measuring anything, much less without a ruler.” “No problem, I have one right here to measure it. You hold the tip up and I’ll grab it below.”

I take note of my surroundings. We are sitting in a park on the seafront in El Salvador. Our bench is near the local butcher’s store. There are few people around, but this is hardly the most appropriate place for such a display. An elderly woman is sitting three benches away from us and discreetly eats a meat patty that she bought at the butcher’s. But my interviewee is determined to prove his theory and there is no way of dissuading him. I hold the measuring stick uncertainly – I’ve no idea where it came from or how it was so conveniently produced. “Who would be interested in taking measurements?” I wonder to myself. I do not think women are so intrigued by size. I suspect that other dates might be interested in this matter, but not of the female gender.

Finally, I measured it. “Seven inches. It’s not small but it’s nothing out of this world either”, I tell him. “Ah, but you haven’t seen it erect,” Cirino replies with some annoyance. “Well I’m not going to either, because if there’s something I’m not interested in measuring in this survey it’s the size of truckers’ penises,” I reply. “Anyway, if you say that women think it’s larger, then that’s what matters,” I say to end the conversation. “That doesn’t cheer me up. Don’t you know there’s a rumor going around that the Maya peoples have the smallest penises in the world? This is one of the few places in the world where men haven’t complained about the Korean condoms being too small,” he tells me. “Well, if that’s the case, just be glad that you’ve been endowed with a few extra inches,” I respond to close this absurd discussion.

While I listen with Christian resignation to the theory of sizes, the elderly woman who was eating her meat patty nearby approaches us. “I saw you measuring the butcher’s sausages with your measuring stick. That shameless butcher is selling them shorter these days, right?” she tells us in an irritated tone. “Yes” I reply. “My friend and I were just talking about how they’ve gotten smaller.”

The idea that large means better has been with us for hundreds of years. Nazi doctors spent time measuring human skulls to divide people into superior and inferior races. Some researchers such as Tripp⁸² theorized that homosexuals had larger penises. Dowsett, for his part, argues that men with larger penises are more promiscuous and says women should measure their boyfriends before they marry them (Dowsett assumes that women value fidelity over size)⁸³. Recently, researchers on homosexuality have begun to measure the size of the hypothalamus and other parts of the brain to find differences between and between heterosexuals and homosexuals.⁸⁴

“Cirino, my final question, what happens to truckers who are of normal or small size and can’t convince any woman that they’re super-endowed?” I ask. “I’m going to tell you a secret,” he confesses. “There’s a trick to make your dick feel larger. When you’re inside and the woman is very lubricated, you take it out and dry it on the sheets and put it in again. That makes them feel a great thing,” he says without embarrassment.

Admiration

Many truckers feel admired by people. Not just for their driving skills, but also for the size of the vehicles they handle. Macondo has felt this. “Among my neighbors, many of them admire me. When I arrive in my truck they say „wow! What an artist!” Jesus says city people look down on truckers, but that is not the case with village people.

In any little village you go to the people are very special. If there’s nowhere to eat, you go to any house and say, „I’m stopped over there, I can’t leave and there’s no place to eat. Would you sell me some food?’ „Sure we can’, they say. They ask you in and you get so much admiration they even let you use the bathroom and give you the best attention and treat you real well.

Enrique feels the same way. “Yes, it’s great to drive because people admire you. Sometimes it makes you smile when people keep gazing up at you.”

People, friends, girlfriends ask me how I manage to drive that great vehicle and they ask me how many gears it has and how fast it can go.

Truckers also feel admiration from their male friends.

They congratulate me for driving such a huge vehicle, they’re really impressed. Many ask me to take them for a ride.

Gonzalo talks about his friends, his skill and his willingness to teach others.

People say, “I admire you for going around in that truck, I’d like to drive it, race it” and they say it’s difficult.

Some feel that women admire them for their truck. Justo explains:

Napoleon, unlike Justo, has more experience of driving a truck and of women’s reactions:

Marvin is even more explicit about the admiration women feel for his truck.

The prerogatives of size

Driving a large truck means that truckers feel superior to mortals who driver small cars. They themselves are convinced that they are badly regarded by other drivers. In Costa Rica, for example, truckers are perceived as the second worst drivers, after taxi drivers.⁸⁵ The main criticisms made against them is that “they think they own the roads” and “are aggressive towards all types of vehicles” because they are so large. They call the drivers of small cars “cucarachas”, revealing their disdain towards them.

Fernando says, “I know that most of the population is of the opinion that truckers don’t respect anyone and think they own the roads just because they drive those huge trucks.” Julio shares the view that a few truckers give them all a bad name.

They say we’re like pigs when we drive, that we don’t respect anyone when we’re on the road. They think we’re animals and that we drive like horses. But we’re not all the same. What happens is that we all pay for the sins of the few.

Marvin and Mario not only think the same but also admit that some truckers are aggressive when they get behind the wheel.

People think we’re arrogant, that we don’t let anyone through on the road, that we feel like Superman once we get inside the cab, and things like that. Small vehicles always think he comes the monster and say, “here comes that beast, let’s get out of his way”. There are all kinds here. Sometimes truckers drive on the offensive, throwing the vehicle at the „cucarachas’ and trying to screw them.

Jesus tries to explain why he believes some truckers act this way.

A lot of people have a bad opinion (of us) because they consider us to be the ogres of the road and other such things. What many people don’t realize is that this work is very pressured, very tiring and destroys a lot of homes. This job separates you a lot from the kids a lot, separates you from the wife, especially if one is a bit machista.

Caliche believes that the smaller vehicles on the road should be more considerate.

People who drive small vehicles should have a certain amount of consideration when they meet a trailer. They think that you throw the truck at them and that you think you own the road. What people don’t think about is that you’re driving a vehicle nearly 18 meters long, higher and wider than any other and carrying 20 or 22 tons in the trailer.

Jose thinks that the hostility does not only come from the truckers but also from the small cars that feel overwhelmed by the size of the trucks.

Many people feel that those who drive trucks are like steamrollers. They think that we do whatever we like, and that’s not true. In reality, if you travel along any road in Central America and watch the way people drive, you’ll see how crazy they are. Small cars try to get past one of these trucks, getting almost between the tires, and they push in front of you as if they’d won a race. What they don’t realize is that you’re carrying 40,000 pounds of cargo, plus the weight of the truck with container and all. If you hit the breaks in an emergency, there’s going to be an accident.

Does size confer respect?

Truckers believe they are admired for driving large vehicles. However, if we read their evidence carefully, we realize that it is not size that matters to people. Women say they feel attracted by the security and the freedom that truckers offer. Men are attracted by the adventure they promise.

The people who admire the vehicles and their drivers are those who dream of leaving their communities. “For me, trucks offer the possibility of leaving behind this boring life I lead,” says the schoolteacher from the Costa Rican village of Naranjo. For Pablo, a Nicaraguan married man, trailers are attractive “because sometimes I’d like to run away and leave behind my domestic responsibilities.” Miguel, a bar owner from Honduras, would one day like to “move from place to place and make a new life”.

However, those who adore trucks are the ones who use them most as a means of transport: travelers on the roads of Central America. They like them because they see them as a passport to freedom. This group of admirers does not come from the region’s machista groups. On the contrary, it consists of the most international and modern individuals. “People who wander and travel are the most rebellious and non-conformist,” Cirino tells us. “They escape from their miseries and their communities; they are the exiles of our countries.” Sex workers and transvestite homosexuals have good reason to love the trailer. Both represent the greatest antagonism to the traditional gender discourse in the popular sectors of society. “No decent woman,” says Cirino, “ will get in a truck to travel from one country to another.” By “decent” he means a woman who obeys the macho precepts of submission and subjection to the decisions of men. The transvestite, another type of frequent traveler, is equally non-conformist. His goal is to leave his community to be able to dress like a woman and have sex with men, a total affront to the macho system. “All these people on the move are escaping as much from poverty as from the daily jail that recreates it every day,” says Carlos.

Truckers, apparently, misinterpret people’s feelings. They believe it is size that seduces, whereas the contrary is true. The large size that people see in them really corresponds to the freedom with which they are associated. But why this illusion? What is it that confuses the truckers so much that they fail to grasp the real significance of their role?

One explanation is compartmentalization, once again. Unlike the prostitutes and the transvestites, the trucker is a part-time traveler. His escape from traditional roles and his incursion into new territories is a temporary. Once he is back in his own community, the trucker returns to the traditional life of religion, sex and gender. This, the liberating impact of one of his two lives must remain unprocessed or “under wraps”. It is easier to believe that his greatness lies in his size than in his daring. In this way, the trucker feels he has gained the respect and power that he lacks in his own community, without assimilating the fact that he receives it for violating the principles of his other life. The fantasy that is created that admiration is based on a few extra inches masks a reality that is harder to apprehend: his escape is only a half-escape. The big rough truckers will return like swallows to their small, vulnerable nests. Like modern Cinderellas, they return to a reality of vehicles that do not belong to them, salaries that are not enough to live on and policies over which they have no influence.

Truckers have not been the only travelers who failed to understand the deepest sense of their journey. During the Second World War, whether deluded by others or by themselves, many reached Hell without recognizing it until the last moment. “I don’t know why the journey is so important to me, and why when I return I feel the need to set off again,” says Cirino. “I still don’t understand this need that I feel.”

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⁸⁰ This information was supplied by Rolando Fonseca, Executive Director of the National Chamber of Cargo Transporters, CANATRAC, in Costa Rica, on January 13, 1998.

⁸¹ Oscar Lewis, Five Families: Mexican Case Studies in the Culture of Poverty. New York: Basic Books, 1959.

⁸² C.A. Tripp, The Homosexual Matrix, New York: MacGraw-Hill, 1975.

⁸³ Gary W. Dowsett, Practicing Desire. Homosexual Sex in the Era of AIDS. Stanford. Stanford University Press, 1996.

⁸⁴ Jacobo Schifter, Psiquiatria y Homofobia, San Jose, Costa Rica: Editorial ILPES, 1998.

⁸⁵ In a survey of Costa Rican adults carried out by UNIMER, 17% of respondents said that truckers are the second worst group of drivers, while 40% said taxi drivers were the worst. La Nación newspaper, San Jose, Costa Rica, June 21, 1999, p.8^a.