Loneliness: Call Of Instincts For Self-Actualization
Of Potentials Within, To Be Our Own Buddha
If we put all the above ideas in linearity, if we sum up things, it seems clear that all things start with mind consciousness and end there. Even the drives may be bio-chemical but they are expressed as per the mind consciousness of different people. All people have the same sex drive. However, as these drives are conditioned by cultural learning as well as an individual’s own meme or shade of consciousness, different people express their sexuality in contrastingly different ways – both physically as well as mentally. Drives may be common but their expressions are varied, depending on subjective individuality. Same with loneliness!
This is the core realism, which we now have to understand and accept. It is consciousness, which defines and determines our cognition – that is the way we perceive and accept realism. And, this subjective cognition in turn shapes the causality – the logical connection between various factors in the cause-effect cyclicality, in all of us. That is why we all need to understand and accept that prime winner or loser is consciousness – this subjective sense of I or the self. That is why empowerment of consciousness is the cardinal and core task every single person has to do in his or her life. More poised and empowered your consciousness, far streamlined, settled and balanced is your cognition and causality. This ensures, you have a life-living situation within yourself, which stands you in perfect wellness and excellence with all elements and factors in milieus outside.
Thousands of years back, the wise of humanity said, ‘Nothing external to you have any meaning and impact on you’. Modern science also says the same thing. All realism is within us – this mystically marvellous consciousness is the seat of all realism. Consciousness shapes all realism because consciousness shapes cognition and this then moulds causality. This 3Cs process is an internalized process. From outside, all people are the same and all of us have the same drives, same body-mind mechanism. Still, there are loads of differences about how different people believe and accept outside realism as. This difference is within – different memes and shades of consciousness do the trick.
That is why common drives engender uncommon realism for us. We all know this story about a king, who had a few thousand beautiful young women in his harem, whom he ordered to be killed to be replaced by more number of women. This is a tale common in all cultures. Kings had large harems and still they were not sexually happy and satisfied. Moreover, we also have this common story in all cultures as how a man or a woman killed themselves as they could not imagine to live anymore after the demise of their partners.
What makes it happen? The king and the common lover both have the same sex drive. Both have the same body-mind mechanism. However, their perception and perspective about sex and intimacy varies so much, on two different extremes of the scale. This happens because of the difference in consciousness. Sex is a physical or tangible tool for attainment of an intangible worth called intimacy. This intimacy is not physical, tangible or material. Sex is tangible and physical. Drives are body realism but they are expressed and attained in mind realism. All worthy attainments of humanity are intangibles, endowed in physicality but attainable through intangibility of mind consciousness.
In modern clutter culture, sex has become the tool of greatest dismay and disarray. This harem syndrome is almost everywhere. People in drift and flux accept sex as physical thing and value little about the intangibilities of intimacy, affection and compassion, which are more meaningful aspects of sex. The physicality and tangibility of sex has led to the king’s attitude towards sex. More sex partners, more physicality but lesser intimacy, lesser intangible satisfaction and happiness.
Similar is the situation about loneliness. Like sex, our instinctive drive makes us go for connect with more people. This drive makes the individual to accept that success and self-worth shall be attained more when more and more people shall know and accept it. So, like sex, we indulge in the physicality and tangibility of the mental and intangible need called connect. However, more we connect physically, lonelier we grow. Deeper we enter into this crowd of drifted and fluxed culture, more disconnected and dissatisfied we stand.
This connect has to be an internalized realism. People first need to be connected within, and then only outside connect can be fruitful and satisfactory. As is the reality, nothing external can have any meaning and impact on us if it is not internalized first. That is why the wise of even contemporary culture put premium on self-awareness, self-analysis and self-actualization. This process is the internalization mechanism and this surely needs loads of self-control and self-discipline. And to start that, one needs to come out of the drift and flux of life.
As we earlier accepted, if we are in empowering company of internalized and intangible emotions of affection, compassion, mutuality and intimacy with self – with our own higher consciousness; we shall never feel loneliness as a burdened realism. Rather, we shall feel and accept loneliness as a very empowering facility of consciousness, leading us to life-living wellness and personal excellence. Once we have our higher consciousness in perfect poise of purpose, we shall enjoy the magical-mystical-marvellous intangibles of all things tangible in our lives. Then, sex shall be extremely satisfying, as we shall be in harmonious company of intimacy, affection and compassion. Then, loneliness shall be rewarding!
We all know about epiphany moments of life-living experiences but very few of us actually live its magnanimous magnificence. Higher consciousness lands us with epiphanies of life and living. All endowments and attainments then become multidimensional, unleashing spectrum of true and everlasting happiness and satisfaction.
Loneliness, like sex is very misunderstood realism. Look, how all over the globe, so many people are being drawn to meditation. It is growingly being understood and accepted that larger humanity has never understood their drives well. It is now accepted that somehow, most of our life-living troubles emanate out of our poor handling of our instincts and drives. That is why our cultures are so cluttered and dysfunctional.
Globally, in many cultures, people are accepting the ancient wellness principle that humanity needs to redefine, redesign and reapply their drives of hunger, sex and social needs. And how to go about it? The primary requirement is addressing your higher consciousness. It is not easy for most in clutter culture as focusing on the self, which is in definitive self-control of all the sensory pulls and drives is a tough task. That is why for many, who find themselves cluttered, meditation extends a handy tool to start the journey inside.
In all cultures, we have had so many greats, who understood and accepted the importance of the joy of connecting to the real self. They could attain greatness only because they realized that primary task for everyone is to hit the poise within. They understood the importance of deep-rootedness of consciousness in a milieu, where self was addressed only to own self. In Indian spiritual traditions, especially in Yoga philosophy, meditation was emphasized for befriending the self. In other Oriental tradition, there is a word called Shikan Taza, which literally means ‘Just Sit’. These techniques are for empowering the consciousness by focusing on self, to internalize all joys and satisfaction within.
Therefore, it is important that we understand loneliness in a completely new light. We have to understand and accept that loneliness is your first intelligence, beckoning your drifted and fluxed consciousness to come out of it and start the journey of self-exploration. Most greats used this precarious energy of loneliness this way. Buddha was a king’s son and was raised in all worldly endowments, with all the material glitter, glam and indulgence intentionally made splattered around him. He was young, had a beautiful wife and a lovely son. Still, he felt loneliness in his world of drift and flux. This lonely feeling paved way for him to attain Nirvana.
He left everything. As there was no poise of purpose within him, he felt unease and more loneliness. He later discovered that world had grief and troubles but leaving the world and turning a saint was no solution. He realized that it was the poised mind, which was the solution of all grief and troubles. He advocated self-actualization of this poised being, which in modern scientific lexicon is called higher consciousness. Buddha’s life-living philosophy is a very contemporary need. In all eastern spiritual traditions, there is this emphasis on self-actualization. They insist that all realisms are within this poise mind or higher consciousness. Even God is within this mind consciousness.
We all have a Buddha within ourselves. Who is a Buddha? Buddha means the enlightened and empowered. Therefore, being Buddha means actualization of the potential of our conscious self, which is already there within us. This potential is dormant, or un-evolved, or untouched in most of us. Also, in all of us, there always happens a time and space, where we feel disenchanted with the world we live in and with the people we are surrounded with. As the scientists say, the very people and the very material consumptions, which make us thrilled and happy once, are the primary source of our disenchantment, heartbreaks and ultimately the loneliness. The Yoga philosophy said the same 3000 years back!
Therefore, loneliness feeling must be accepted as the clarion call of our own instincts to get ready for the ultimate journey of personal empowerment and self-actualization. It beckons to herald the process of making us Buddha – the enlightened one. Later, when we shall talk about homeostasis, we shall get to know the term set point. This is a biological term for a body facility, which is wired in our mind to make us return to our mean-wellness point. Being Buddha also somehow hints at being in the poise, the set-point of body-mind mechanism. This poise emotion is embedded deep within us. We miss this as we are not self-aware and in a drifted and fluxed consciousness.
Therefore, loneliness is a very positive and very beneficial mechanism in we all and it must be accepted this way. May be, it is our instinctive design that loneliness feeling has been drafted as the alarm bell, when our minds become too much cluttered to threaten our own wellness and beneficial survival. It may be like the alarm bell of your washing machine, which starts a loud beep alarm, when we overload it.
However, the prudent thing is, before this alarm bell rings, we all must be aware of the threshold of the mind consciousness to bear with this cultural clutter. Why wait for the alarm bell. Start the journey towards higher consciousness. Never commit the mistake of loading your washing machine with more clothes, if its overload alarm bell rings.
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