Celebration Of Success Of Self-Control
As I am about to begin the last chapter of the book and talk about happiness of loneliness, I am very optimistic about one eventuality. I very humbly believe that you have connected to me and my words in good trust and goodwill. This is important as what I need to say here now has utility and worth only when you accept them as. The words in the next few paragraphs are very personal and are about what I have internalized. I need your faith in them.
We have already shared before that if the hypothesis is right; the idea is accepted as right. If two people have an assimilative and integrative attitude, one can easily see that words travel well between them and meanings have larger and deeper utility. There is an unusual magnanimity of reception. Friendship is one positioning, where assimilation and integration about divergent hypotheses has larger accommodative space. A seed is more objectively accommodative in space than a grown up tree. Friendship is seed positioning.
That is why, I very affectionately request you to be my friend and accept the words below as one long conversation between friends. This, I am confident, shall engender smoothness of navigation and fruition of the entire exercise.
It is a heart-felt realization that our very worthy ancestors as well as many before me have already said almost all good things. What I can do is present them in new set of words with novelty of references. The only justification of me telling them is that all goodness and wellness ideas and words need to be repeated and retold, to add to their all-pervasiveness.
At the age of 48, I can say with innocence that getting old is such a beautiful and satisfying experience. It makes the self accept the utility and fruition of holistic, assimilative and integrative consciousness. Getting old has probably pushed me close to the eligibility of perhaps beginning to understand what essentially is there to be understood!
The wise have said, wisdom is what we internalize. I humbly say that what I share with you here is what I have internalized in my life. I believe you to believe me that all my previous 25 books have been humbly intended to be only this affectionate and compassionate sharing with you, what I have internalized.
Acceptance is the most difficult attainment in life. Luckily, it is an internalized process. We are not dependent on anybody or anything outside us to have this attainment of acceptance. The primary, the unequivocal and undeniable truth of life and living is loneliness. All of us come into this mortal world alone and have to go alone. This optionlessnes is some acceptance, hardest for we all. But then, there is no escape from the truth and realism. That is why the wise of all ages have insisted that mortality is our primary and ultimate wisdom, with which we need to live happily.
What essentially is happiness? This question comes first as we are talking about happiness of loneliness. There surely cannot be a singular definition. Happiness is not an objective, tangible, measurable entity. We cannot have an index system for that. However, after so much knowledge about our body-mind mechanism, we now know so much about what factors are associated with this very wide range of emotions called happiness. We surely know so much about consciousness, homeostasis and brain mechanism. This knowledge makes us stand in good stead in designing our happiness package. The artistry of happiness is in acceptance – acceptance of hardcore and objective realism and truth about life and living.
We all wish to be happy. We all are designed to be happy. But, happiness is not a static entity. There is a systematic cyclicality of consciousness, cognition and causality, which never allows happiness (even grief) to remain static and fixed. Our body-mind mechanism is designed in such a way and the external milieus too work in a way that happiness for us stands as a synthetic realism – this means, it is always evolving and changing in thesis-antithesis-synthesis cyclicality. That means, happiness is a dynamic, evolving entity and we have to be very endowed and prepared to be in control of most of the factors and elements, which synthesize happiness in time and space dimensions. This itself presupposes that we are in acceptance mode, in happy reception of the truths, objective realism and ephemeral nature of most realism about life and ourselves.
There are some critical truths about life-living and our own body-mind mechanism, which we need to be in absolute reception of acceptance. This is option-less. These acceptances are unavoidable for lasting happiness. Being in the flux and drift, or wilful denial of these truths shall always have calamitous impact on our wellness as well as happiness.
The primary acceptance is mortality. We have already talked about how acceptance of mortality opens the doors of empowerment for us, which in turn translates into life-living wellness and personal excellence. Another very important acceptance is the unpleasant truth that evolution has not designed us and bestowed us with any higher purpose of life. It was a stupid engineering, an accidental or randomized chain of mutations, which were aimed not at excellence of the species but bare survival. Therefore, another very critical acceptance is that all of us have to individually design and devise our own higher purpose of life, which augments our wellness, happiness and excellence.
Evolution needs to be accepted as it facilitates a very crucial learning for our wellness. Evolution science accepts that DNA is the foundation of all lives, including humans. This DNA mutates naturally in its course of replication, which is essential for survival and continuation of life. The mutations are option-less as changes in external milieus need suitable changes in DNA and therefore, mutations are a function of adjustment to outer or external milieus. This realism is the most beautiful and most primary metaphor of how life and its overall wellness are all about adjustments. We have talked above about happiness and wellness being a synthetic realism. This means, life and its wellness is not static but dynamic and necessitates masterly adjustments for lasting wellness and happiness.
Moreover, evolution also offers a great metaphor of how self-control is the critical attainment in life. Science accepts that mutations are not only natural and option-less but also randomized. The mutations are not aimed at excellence but bare survival. This extends to us a metaphor of self-control. We surely cannot afford to be as random as evolution’s mechanism of DNA mutations. We need great self-control to ensure that mutations in our lives may be an adjustment to changes in external milieus but these changes we accept in our lives has to be optimally controlled, if not perfectly controlled; and never randomized. Our life-living choices cannot be controlled exclusively by external elements in milieus. As scientists say, we are past the stage of stupid engineering of evolution. We are now very endowed and empowered. All future mutations, in human lives or in the world we live shall be controlled well by us. Self-control defines the modern humanity, not randomized and erratic causality. We shall do all the best possible masterly adjustments with empowered self-control.
Another important acceptance is about the overall futility of pop shades of cultures in our contemporary lives. It is said, ‘every healthy kid born is a veritable genius of the cosmos but it takes 25 years for the society and popular cultures to turn him or her into a stupid’. This is just a hint at the fact that societies and cultures of contemporary times have become a storehouse of choicest hypocrisies and they have calamitous impact on a person’s wellness, happiness and excellence.
We do not need to go into details of this issue. What we have to accept is – everyone is born with certain specialities as well as few disadvantages. Ancient Indian tradition said that all people are born with one of the three broad consciousnesses. Modern science classifies all people of the world under seven memes or shades of consciousnesses. The primary acceptance about consciousness is – one’s true purpose of life and living and one’s lasting wellness and happiness is in doing such things in life, for which his or her consciousness is naturally aligned to. We have already talked about how subjective consciousness defines and decides one’s cognition and this subjective cognition in turn shapes up his or her causalities of life and living. We have also talked as how higher consciousness is powerful enough to change this innate mind consciousness and instil a higher purpose in life.
Modern science has done a lot of researches into types of people, based on their consciousnesses, body constitutions and brain types. Contemporary science classifies all people of the world into 16 brain types. These brain types are genetic groupings, which signify that each brain type has specific innate and born mental as well as physical skills. Each brain type has inherent body-mind proficiencies as well as deficiencies, which largely decide what a person can do well in life and what not.
These brain types are somehow a practical guide to know from early age as what a person can do best in his life and what pursuits can fetch him or her best set of wellness and happiness gains. Scientists say, the brain type decides almost everything one does; academics, economic activities, careers, relationships, parenting, expressions and communications, sports and leisure, spirituality, etc. We are not going into details of all these scientific findings. What we wish to say is – we live in an age, where we have growing pool of critical information about life, living as well as our own mechanism. Acceptance of these information is surely going to help us in designing and shaping our lives and living in such a way, which suits our subjective individual consciousness. The simple acceptance is – if we are true to our consciousness, we are close to our homeostatic equilibrium. This helps us attain poised cognition and causality. This in turn helps us remain in lasting wellness and happiness.
This realism needs to be internalized. The difference can only be realized, not known by just reading about it. Each one of us is different within, even while we all look almost the same from outside. The real and true endowments are all within – in our consciousnesses and we have to accept with holistic reception that consciousness has a structure and function, which are all within, in our brains. Our consciousness, which is an intangible entity, aligns naturally with intangibles in external as well as internal milieus.
That is why it is crucial to first accept as of what consciousness type we are. Then, as per his or her consciousness, he or she must design or re-design his or her life-living choices. All life choices and personality choices need to be aligned and generic to one’s special shade or type of consciousness. This alone can be the right recipe of lasting wellness and happiness. Often, we align with elements in our milieus, which are opposite and antagonistic to our consciousnesses. Often, we align (have relationships) with people, who are in different shades of consciousnesses, which may be opposite or badly competitive to our own consciousness. This is primary cause of chaos, conflicts and confusion in our lives. This is definitive design of disaster for most of us. We have to be self-aware of choices.
Now, the most important aspect of consciousness needs to be accepted. This acceptance is the golden wisdom, which we all need to internalize. This acceptance is the core and cardinal hypothesis of the idea of happiness of loneliness.
Science is always very helpful, if we remain warned of its populist extrapolations. Scientific research has established that a normal grown up brain is only 15 percent genetic; remaining 85 percent is environmental. This means, we are born with a brain structure, which evolves and shapes as we mature. It is the elements in our ambient cultural and physical milieus, which form the majority part of our brains.
We have already talked about how many of us feel that average healthy kid is born with a genius brain and the cultural elements turn him into a stupid. What this stupidity is all about. This stupidity is chaos, conflicts and confusion, which cultures and other milieus loads on our minds as we grow and mature. This stupidity is the prime source of the most calamitous disease of humanity called hypocrisy.
This is the point, we have to accept and work our ways with. Human kids have long maturity periods and for long years, they are dependent on parents, families and society for their life-living decisions. Science says, a human brain matures fully at the age of 25 years. It goes through a long process of development, altered by learning and unlearning. For this long period of maturity, the values, ethics, life-living choices etc are all directly or indirectly decided or influenced by others’ brains, very seldom our exclusive brains. This means, there are loads of learning, which we unconsciously or subconsciously imbibe into our mind consciousness. Many of these elements and factors, which become part of our consciousness is not what our brain types may be. This surely is a conflict situation.
What we need, when we attain an age of 18 and above, is quality leisure time for retrospection and rumination. If we keep pace with the drift and flux of external cultures and milieus, we can never ascertain, what is causing split and conflict in our consciousness. As we accept the utility and fruition of positive loneliness, a conscious choice of functional solitude, we are in an empowered space of life. We can then ruminate. We can then have an exclusive dialogue with self and ask key questions about appropriateness of so many elements in our consciousness. We can then check out the utility of those elements, which are either causing conflicts or lying untapped within. We can then finally redesign and reshape our consciousness by pruning things from our life-living choices, which are detrimental to our overall homeostatic equilibrium.
The true and lasting happiness has a sure and settled mechanism. We need to be in good homeostatic poise to be in true and lasting happiness. Not only that; our consciousness must be empowered enough for we to have the self-control and self-discipline to adjust our actions and behaviours to keep returning to the set point of homeostatic equilibrium. Self-indulgence or elements in external milieus may occasionally disturb the poise in our lives but we must always have this self-control to hit back to the set point of poise.
Loneliness is happy situation because this facility extends us the golden opportunity to have enough personalized latitude for manoeuvring our best resources to keep maintaining poise in life. The happiness of loneliness is in being the master of your life and cease to be a slave of external elements. The happiness of loneliness is in the feeling of empowerment, which ensures that your life-living choices are shaped, coloured and designed not by anything external to you, but by the internalized elements, your higher consciousness is in perfect control of.
What is the thrill and ultimate joy of life-living experiences? Different people may describe it differently. Most however may not, as there is little conscious awareness in most things we all do in our action-reaction auto-mode behaviour. Still, many may admit that the biggest thrill and ecstasy in life is this very intangible emotion of being in perfect control of things.
A best-paid soccer star once said about one of his favourite goals. He said he enjoyed it more than sex with his girlfriend. How can we explain that? Can kicking a stupid ball in a wide net be a joy more intense and satisfying than sex, that too with your beloved? It definitely looked so. Most of us have seen how the goal-makers in intense soccer matches throw themselves into wild exhilaration and boisterous celebrations after a goal! Surely, not many get such a huge kick in sex to behave uprooted like that!
The simple fact is, soccer is a tough game and things are always so uncontrollably on the move and drift. Like life, a soccer game has so many randomized potentials, which may land either way, in quick turn of time and space. Landing a goal is very tough as it needs so many elements in combination getting right. Still, the ultimate and most crucial punch is the very critically timed and most controlled execution of the push or slide by the goal-maker. The goal-maker knows it deep within his subconscious mind that a goal is usually the outcome of a very self-controlled execution in last seconds of a long build-up. The mad celebration is of the ecstasy and thrill of the self-control – the self-control of not only the individual goal-maker but also the entire team members, who build up a possibility with skilled conscious self control.
Life is also very tough like a highly intense game of soccer. The chances of success in life are as tough and rare as a goal in soccer. The potentials are also quite randomized. The real happiness, thrill and celebration in life is also about successes. Success, like landing a goal, is very tough as it needs so many elements in combination getting right, at one point of time and space. We also know it very well that like a goal, success is usually the outcome of a very self-controlled, high precision execution of some very personalized elements, after of a long and tiring build-up. In celebrating successes, we all actually celebrate the intangible element of meticulous control and precision of personal or group actions and behaviours.
Therefore, the simple fact is – when we derive so much thrill and ecstasy in being in control of so many external factors, how happy we shall feel, when we are in perfect control of our own inner self and consciousness. If control over external factors and elements of milieus can be called success, isn’t it that the same control over internal and intangible elements should be considered larger and better success!
However, this does not happen in our lives. We seldom consider the inner success as real thrill and happiness. This is pop cultural influences in our consciousnesses, which we have to unlearn. This is crucial unlearning as this very insistence on celebrating only external successes and not the internal ones has caused so many troubles in the contemporary cultures. This is the dysfunctional worldview of contemporary celebrity culture.
If winning and losing is a brutal function of just a stupid kick of the ball, into the wide net, then it translates into trouble for humanity. If successes and celebrations of sports are confined only to the incidence of goals, then this success is not only very scarce, but also divides humanity into two classes – one who celebrates and another who feels depressed and uncelebrated. The true and real celebration is sports, the rhythm and excellence of the sportsmanship. The true and real success is that of the spirit of intangibles of the game – the energy, perseverance, skills, artistry, bonhomie, competitiveness, compassion between two sides, etc.
Celebrations of successes of tangibles and materials only are calamitous. We know, only 5 percent of people own 95 percent of global resources. It is calamitous to confine the celebration of success of goals in life’s game to only 5 percent people. The cultural realism, in which tangible and material success is so rare and scarce, vast majority of people can never be in happy situations. Everybody needs success and celebration in life. We all have equitable rights to be happy and thrilled in life. But this pop culture and contemporary liberal worldview has managed a calamitous situation, where only a few could manage to hit a goal in the game of life. Only a few celebrate and rest remain depressed. Only a handful is celebrities and vast majority remains uncelebrated. This surely is a recipe of calamity for humanity.
However, what we are talking about is true empowerment. We are talking about altogether new game of life, where this stupid rule of winning and losing does not work. In our game of life, everyone is a winner and nobody is depressed of losing. We are talking about the celebration of the successes of internal self-control. We are talking about the game of life, where our higher consciousness plays the sports with intangibles. In our new game, success is how we enjoy intangible elements, which are within us, in our consciousness. And that is why we are in true and lasting self-control of everything. We are in control of the elements of the game and we ourselves assign value and utility to what we do in our game. We are in self-control of our consciousness and that is why we enjoy sports, the rhythm of the game, the spirit of sportsmanship. We not only play the game, we own it, we make the rules and our celebration is not the success of a goal or two, but of the sports itself.
The true happiness of loneliness is in being our own masters. Masters of our own destiny, masters of our own happiness, masters of our own celebrations. The few may have the whole of universe in their castles but we have all our attainments and possessions within us, within our higher consciousness.
We are lonely, we are in control, we are happy, and we are surely truly empowered. We celebrate, not successes but life itself. We are happy and thrilled always because we are what we are. We are lonely and at our best.
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