10. Apologize
I don't know about you, but I hate apologizing to people. Here's a quick mental health life hack that I learned though: If you don't like apologizing to people, quit doing dumb stuff that requires that you apologize to people.
Apologizing is a necessity if we're looking to improve our mental health. You're reading this book because you want to be a better person, and one of the best things you can do is ensure that you go to sleep each night with a clear conscience. If you yelled at someone that day and felt bad about it, it's going to be hard to go to sleep guilt-free. Something that may help you with apologizing for your behaviors is being selfish about it. What I mean is that you're apologizing for yourself and not for them. I know that I'm trying to teach you to quit being so selfish, but trust me, people will like you a lot better for the selfish act of apologizing to feel better when you've been an asshole. It's a win/win situation.
Something that I learned about apologizing is that people don't like to do it because it means admitting that you were wrong. While this is true, you're not always wrong about everything. The reality is that not only can we be assholes, but so can other people. Remember my son's mom? She said a lot of hurtful things to me when I was trying to turn my life around, and she also accused me of many things while I was trying to turn my life around. She was 100% wrong to do these things. I never want you to feel as though controlling your anger means you have to be a punching bag, but that's why there's a whole section that you already read about telling them how you feel without expecting anything.
Although I don't deserve to be talked to like that, this anger management thing is for me more than it is for anyone else. Regardless of what they say, remember that it's a lot easier to fix you than it is to fix the rest of the world. You need to apologize for your part. This goes back to the quit making dumb decisions section.
The best way you can do this is by separating parts of the situation so you can take responsibility for what you did wrong. You can apologize without admitting the other person was right for what they said. What the hell do I mean by that?
There were times where my son's mom called me names, accused me of relapsing or lying, and she was wrong. Although she was wrong, it was wrong of me to raise my voice at her and call her names. So, when apologizing, I'd apologize for raising my voice and calling her names. Those were my part.
Homework:Start apologizing for your part in situations and see how many people end up apologizing as well because you took responsibility and didn't point the finger back at them.
