CHAPTER X
MARRIAGE CUSTOMS
Big Plume, a Blood Indian from the north, who had been visiting with his family at Heart Butte, stopped at Mad Wolf’s camp on his way back to Canada. The morning after they arrived, I met Bluebird, a daughter of the northern chief; she was a comely girl of sixteen, active and strong, filled with energy and animal life. I saw her climb nimbly into a cottonwood tree after a woodpecker’s nest and bring down the young birds one by one to her waiting brothers and sisters. That same evening our camp was alive with excitement. Bluebird went with some women and children to gather berries on the hills and did not return. No one knew what had become of her.
After several days, with no news of the missing girl, a band of Indians came from Heart Butte forty miles away, with the news that a son of Mountain Chief had also disappeared. He and Bluebird were lovers. They ran away together to the mountains.
Then Big Plume, her father, a silent and unassuming man, came to my lodge for advice. He had known that young Mountain Chief was in love with his daughter; he did not want him for a son-in-law. But the lover was aggressive. At night he lay in wait for the girl; he met her on the trails when she went after firewood, or to the river for water. It was for this reason they left Heart Butte and came to Mad Wolf’s camp; and now his daughter was lost. He wanted to take his family back to their home in Canada, but he could not leave the girl with young Mountain Chief. He was poor and could not support a wife. Big Plume had no faith in him. He felt bitterly towards the man who had stolen his daughter; it was no marriage and his daughter was disgraced.
In tribal life it sometimes happened that a lover asked his sweetheart to marry him through the medium of a relative. But as a rule it was customary for parents to decide on a suitable husband for a girl. A chief who was prominent would pick out a strong warrior for his son-in-law, that his daughter, a child of plenty, might be well provided for.
After the betrothal, it was customary for a girl to carry food to the lodge of her intended and to make moccasins for the members of his immediate family. Her parents gave a feast to which only his relatives were invited; and in this way the match became known.
If the girl’s family were well off, they gave many presents—a bunch of horses and a new tepee completely furnished, with robes and blankets, back-rests, parfleches, and cooking utensils. They also gave their daughter a buckskin dress decorated with elk teeth, and a suit trimmed with ermine tails for her husband. They did this as a parade of their wealth and that their social standing might be recognized by the tribe.
The man presented a number of horses to the girl’s father; and later he would be expected to share with his father-in-law the results of his war and hunting expeditions. If he brought back from a hunt three horses loaded with skins and meat, he gave his father-in-law one of the loads with the choicest parts of the meat. And in return, the father-in-law was expected to give of his property.
There was no ceremony; and the marriage form was simple. The couple took their places in the new tepee and began their domestic life. The husband hunted and looked after the horses. The wife prepared food, tanned skins, and made clothing. The husband had no obligations to his wife in regard to other women; but he held her to strict account for her actions with other men. A husband could kill an unfaithful wife, or cut off her nose, or the members of his society might be called upon to inflict this punishment.
But there was a stronger reason for a woman’s chastity. Only a pure woman could make a vow to the Sun for the recovery of any of her family who were ill and give the Sun Dance in their behalf. Death was believed to be the penalty of a woman who vowed falsely. If a mother was not chaste she could not make the vow to save the life of one of her children that was dying. Besides it was a great honor for a woman to give a Sun Dance; she stood for what was best in Indian life; she had the respect and veneration of the entire tribe; none stood higher than she. Parents pointed to her as an example to their children; like her, they should live straight and be honored by all the people.
A man might have any number of wives, but no woman was expected to have more than one husband. Economic conditions regulated the number of wives. A man who was poor could have only one. A chief might have two or more, because he was expected to be generous and open-handed, ready at all times to share his food supply. He had to be hospitable and entertain friends, relatives, and strangers; as there were no servants, he needed more than one wife.
It was considered desirable for a girl to marry a chief with a number of wives; if she married a poor man who could afford only one wife, her life would be filled with drudgery and hard work. Prominent men sometimes had as many as five wives. But the first was his real or head wife. He cared more for her, and she sat beside him in his lodge. She took the woman’s part in his ceremonies and looked after his sacred bundles. When he traveled, he expected his first wife to go with him. Thus she had to be more strict and careful of her actions than the other wives, who sometimes had secret lovers among the young men.
A man might marry a number of sisters. They were accustomed to living together and less liable to have friction. Then, too, if parents were satisfied with a son-in-law, they preferred such an arrangement. In this way they avoided the risk and social complications of having a number of sons-in-law.
The head-chief, White Calf, had three sisters for wives. Catches-Two-Horses, his middle wife, went to live with him when seven years old. And they were happy in their long life together; he died at eighty years of age.
It was not customary for a man to marry within his own band. There was a feeling that all the people of a band were related, and they always hung together. A girl left the lodge of her parents and went to live among the people of her husband; she and her children thenceforth belonged to his band. The different bands lived apart in the winter, but they always liked to come together every summer in the sun-dance camp.
A man was generally on the best of terms with his father-in-law, but it was not proper for him to ever meet his mother-in-law. It was a breach of etiquette for him to go into the same tepee with her. A mother could not go to visit her daughter if her son-in-law was home; she must wait until he went away. And in order that he might not risk seeing his mother-in-law, he always sent his wife with a customary meat-gift to the lodge of his father-in-law after coming home from a hunt. If he offended her, he must make amends by giving her a good horse. A man never spoke to his mother-in-law, nor to her sisters. He had to be careful what he said before his brothers-in-law and his female relatives; but he could talk freely before the sisters of his wife. They were looked upon in the light of “distant wives.”
There was a “love-medicine,” which was used by both men and women. It was a powder made from plants and roots, and contained in small buckskin bags. Any one who used it had to pray continually and carry out its requirements with the greatest care. Indians used it mostly in love affairs—to win the affection of one who was indifferent. There was also an antidote for persons who did not want to fall in love. But people regarded it with fear, because bad luck might come to the user.
Yellow Owl told me his experience with love-medicine. He tried it when his young wife left him. He said:
“I felt so badly at losing my wife, I tried to find a charm to make her fall in love again. I heard of an old medicine man among the Cree Indians, who was famed for the power of his love-medicine, and made a long journey north to find him. And when I came to his lodge, the old man said:
“ ‘Do you believe that my love-medicine has power to help you? I will not give it to you unless you believe.’
“He asked me that question four times; and each time I told him I believed in his power. Then he gave me his love-medicine for which I paid him a horse. He directed me to get a hair from my sweetheart’s head without her knowledge; I must twine it with one of my own hairs, and put them together in a little bag with the love-medicine and carry it everywhere.
“After that I came home to my tepee and did as the old man advised. I got a woman relative to steal one of my sweetheart’s hairs; I put it with one of mine in a little bag with the love-medicine; I wore it fastened about my neck; and because of its power my wife came back to me. She came one day to my lodge and said:
“ ‘You have some strange power over me; I cannot stay away any longer.’
“Then I told her she could remain with her father if she wished. But she would not leave me. She said some power was holding her. Now I will not release her. I still wear the love-charm of the Cree medicine man; and she has been my only woman ever since.”