Part 2
10
I attempt to open my eyes. My upper eye lid is stuck to the lower. I force them shut; then force them open. They become unstuck, but my lashes stick to my cheek. I use my index finger and thumb to pull my upper eye lid away from my eye, which allows the lashes to return to their natural position.
I try to focus, my sight is blurry. I’m welcomed to an uncomfortable burning sensation.
My sight regains some of its clarity. As I continue to stare straight up from my position, I identify a fierce ball of light, burning my eyes. I remember, the hover craft shooting at me, chasing me, trying to kill me… It killed Anna!
Tom screamed in fear. He reached to his right and grabbed the nearest object. A pint glass of water sat on the table beside him. He clutched the glass, using his stomach muscles to sit on his knees with the heels of his feet on his backside to balance him, which allowed him to throw the glass up at the light. As the glass smashed on the ceiling, the light disappeared and water flicked onto his face.
Tom looked up to the ceiling and saw the remains of a light bulb.
Confused and disoriented, he looked down to his clothing; he wore a white suit, an all in one paper suit. He looked at his surroundings, staying still on the bed he was on.
The walls and all the objects were white. The walls were plain; the bedside table had a vase and a dead plant. The leaves from the plant were scattered on the top of the table. They were brown and looked like ash. The stem in the glass was a lifeless green and yellow.
In frustration, Tom wiped the water off his face, but as he did, he stopped himself. He felt his face, it felt different. He used his fingertips to stroke the side of his head, from his forehead down his cheek to his chin. It felt lumpy and uneven. Tom jumped out of the bed and looked at his arms. He had severe burns. As he felt his burns, he had a flashback of killing his father. He saw his father squirming on the floor in desperation, scissors poking out of his neck, blood running out like a river. His father’s death left his mind and a smouldering inferno entered, it destroyed the walls around him, it blasted toward him, the heat was excruciating.
He jolted from the memory. He felt his face again, feeling the right side and then the left. The right felt lumpy, whereas the left didn’t. He felt his nose, which was nonexistent on the right side with some remains on the left. Tom let out a cry of resentment.
‘What the fuck? What the fuck is this? Where am I?’ Tom shouted and continued to scream.
He moved toward the corner of the room to his left and leaned against it with his shoulder, facing the corner. There was a thunderous knock on the door.
‘Mr. Williams, are you okay?’ asked a female voice behind the door.
Shaking, he lifted his right trouser leg; there were some brown burn marks and no leg hair. He lifted his left side up, it was a mess. Although his leg felt normal, it wasn’t. Holding his prosthetic leg in disbelief, he used his muscles to tense the leg that no longer existed. It felt as if it was still attached to him. He then moved his big toe, followed by the others. As he moved parts of the leg that no longer existed, he looked at his prosthetic leg which didn’t move in the slightest.
Tom began to scream and to punch and head butt the wall repeatedly.
‘Mr. Williams, calm down right now!’ the woman said sternly.
Tom continued to punch and head butt the wall, harder and harder.
‘Right, Mr. Williams, you’ve given us no choice, we’re coming in.’
An unlocking sound came from the door; it swung open, hitting the wall. Two men quickly entered the room. They wore white jackets with blue trousers. At the entrance stood a woman, she wore the same type of clothing.
Tom turned from the wall and swung his right fist at the first man and hit him on the left side of his jaw. The speed of the man’s pace and the strength of the punch knocked him onto the floor. Tom saw the other man pull out a police bat from the back of his trousers and charge towards Tom. Tom kicked him with his prosthetic leg in the stomach; which winded the man, he remained standing as he hit Tom on his left cheek and his nose which knocked Tom forcefully to the side. Tom looked up, his eye watering and his nose bleeding. The bat neared his face again; Tom ducked and ran toward the man. Tom grappled with him, wrapping his arms around the man’s waist, digging his shoulder into his lower stomach, and forcing him into the wall.
Tom heard the bat bounce off the floor behind him. He grabbed the man, pulled him away from the wall, shoved him forcefully back into it again, and punched him repeatedly in the face. As the man slanted down the wall, unconscious, the other man began to stand. Tom grabbed the bat off the floor and walked toward the man who struggled to stand. Tom hit the man on the top of his head, and knocked him out. He landed on the floor face down.
Tom looked at the two men on the floor and looked at the door, ready to make his exit. He was stunned to see the woman at the door holding a syringe was Lucy.
‘What the fuck’s going on Lucy? Where’s Dan?’
‘I don’t know what…’
‘Lucy, it’s me, Tom!’
‘Mr. Williams, please calm down and get back into bed.’
‘Lucy, Stewart is dead and so is Anna. We’re next if we don’t move.’
‘Get into your bed now!’ Lucy said, clutching a bat in her shaking right hand and a syringe in her left.
‘Fuck sake, Lucy.’
Tom walked up to Lucy, but as he did, she swung the bat and hit him on the head. Tom staggered to his left. As he regained his focus, Lucy tried to stab him in the neck with the syringe. Tom grabbed her arm and knocked the syringe out of her hand onto the floor. He continued to hold her arm, grabbed her white jacket and threw her across the floor to his right. She slid and stayed on the ground curled up.
‘Please don’t hurt me,’ cried Lucy.
Tom didn’t say anything; he was confused about why Lucy didn’t know him.
He left the room and entered the shadowy corridor, which was as dull as the room. It looked grey with nothing in sight, except shadows.
He looked around to determine his best route of escape. To his right was a man in an army uniform with a gun. Tom decided to run to his left. The man shot at Tom, but missed.
As Tom neared the end of the corridor, another man appeared. He darted from behind the wall at the end of the corridor and shot at Tom. He missed the first shot but then hit Tom in the chest, halting him in his tracks. Tom felt the piercing pain, followed by another two. The third shot hit him in the throat; Tom struggled to catch his breath. He was hit with another bullet on the pectoral muscle, knocking him flat onto his back.
Tom clutched his throat, trying to breathe; then looked down at his body, realizing there was no blood from the wounds.
As his vision blurred and the room darkened, he saw Lucy standing over him looking down. She paused before pulling a syringe from her pocket. She knelt down, plunged the syringe into his neck, and injected the liquid.
11
Tom lay in bed, unconscious. Three men stood around him. The two men on either side of the bed wore white and blue uniforms; the bald man at the end of the bed wore a brown suit.
‘He’s a very sick man. I thought he was getting better, but obviously not; we’re back to stage one,’ the suited man said.
‘Should we keep him sedated?’ asked one of the other men.
‘No, we’ll keep him tied down for now. I suppose we should have expected this; good days and bad days. I’ll speak to him when he comes round.’
The other two men departed, leaving the suited man and Tom alone.
‘Mr. Williams.’
Tom heard the voice echo throughout his head.
‘Mr. Williams, if you can hear me, I need you to try and focus. We need to have a chat about this situation and remind you why you are here.’
Tom tried to wake up. The voice continued to echo through his head. ‘Get up, Tom!’
Tom jerked awake and sat up. He tried to move his hands but they were secured in brown leather cuffs to either side of the bed.
‘Good. Mr. Williams are you listening carefully?’
‘Where am I?’
‘Right. Listen to me. You’re not well, you’ve been here a long time now, we made progress but you have now reverted.’
‘Where the fuck am I?’
‘Mr. Williams, occasionally you have memory lapses when your illness worsens. I’ll remind you. You’re in a mental institution. We’ve made progress with you, but now you seem to have reverted back to this stage.’
‘Mental institution? You must have the wrong guy. I’m completely sane. Let me out of here.’ Tom struggled weakly as he tried to break the cuffs. ‘Let me out right now!’
‘Mr. Williams I need you to calm down and listen to me.’ The man leaned toward Tom and asked, ‘What is my name?’
‘I don’t fucking know who you are, I’ve never seen you before.’
‘Mr. Williams, this is very disappointing. You’ve been here for more than a year and you don’t know who I am.’
‘I have not been here more than a year.’
‘Yes, you have. Do you want me to show you all the records and tests? You have been here more than a year after you decided to kill thousands of people. You killed parents, grandparents and children. Do you even remember what building it was? Sorry to sound harsh, Mr. Williams, but you obviously do not remember the drastic actions you decided to take.’
‘What? No I didn’t do that! I was in…’
‘Let me guess. You were in a lab. Your dad was there, Anna’s and Stewart’s corpses were hung upside down; you killed your dad and made the building self-destruct by pressing a red button. Does that sound about right?’
Tom paused and stared at the man.
‘What? How?’
‘We know each other better than you think. I would shake your hand but… obviously your hands are tied. I’m Doctor Miller. I have been fully involved in your recovery. I’ve helped you.’
‘I don’t know what’s going on, just please let me go.’
‘I’m afraid that’s never going to be possible. You, Mr. Williams, have been deemed by the courts a danger to the public. Although, I would love to get you back out there working and earning a living.’
‘If all this is true, how do you explain Anna’s, Stewart’s, Danni’s, and my father’s deaths?’
‘They never existed. Well, not how you imagine them. You killed your father in the blast. Anna is still alive, but the last time you saw her, you refused to believe it was her. Stewart was an old school friend as were as Dan and Lucy; you haven’t seen them for years.’
‘Lucy works here! I saw her, she injected me with…’
‘That is a woman named Lucy, yes, but she only works here. She isn’t your old school friend.’
‘Well how did I recognize her from here if I’m thinking about someone else?’
‘You are altering your reality to fit your fantasy. Since a woman named Lucy works here and happens to have the same name as a girl named Lucy you remember from your school, you’ve managed to work this Lucy’s face into your quite elaborate fantasy.’
Tom lay back on his bed and stared at the ceiling.
He thought of the trauma he’d been through. Anna’s death had felt so realistic. He remembered cutting down her corpse and holding her dead body. He remembered the destruction, the smell of smoke returned to his nose. He even felt the pain of the burns on his flesh. He remembered meeting Graham and Danni on the underground and watching Graham go crazy. He clearly remembered murdering his own father, in order to save others. After thinking things through for a bit, he looked over at Doctor Miller who stood to his left.
‘That’s it. Take a deep breath in through your nose, out through your mouth. That’s it. You’re back in the real world now.’
‘What happened?’
‘You entered a fugue state. You do it quite often, you ‘zone out’ on us. We’ve determined you aren’t having seizures, but believe you think you are having some sort of flashback to perceived events in your falsified past. What did you think of during this state?’
‘I dreamt…’
‘A memory? Was it what happened in your past before?’
‘No. I dreamt of a long distant memory of me at Disney World Florida with my parents.’
‘Oh brilliant, this is a good start to your recovery, Tom. Keep having these real, happy memories and we can move on from this mad obsession you have with this fake memory.’
‘Is London normal then?’
‘London is as perfectly normal as it ever has been. We can go there if you want, I will show you around. I’ll organise a day for us to go, but for now, you need some rest. Here, take this…’ Miller pulls out a small white tube from his jacket, pops open the lid and tips two red tablets into the palm of his hand. ‘This medication will keep you relaxed so you can get a good night’s sleep for tomorrow and I will see if we can go into London.’
Tom paused and looked at Miller more closely.
He appeared to be in his fifties; he was bald, with dark eyes that looked black. His suit was clean with no flecks of lint, dandruff or other specks of dirt to mar its appearance. His name badge read ‘Dr. Michael Miller’. He was almost petite, his bones were so small; he was only about five foot, seven inches, with narrow shoulders.
‘Come on Tom, open your mouth.’
Tom hesitated, but eventually opened his mouth. Miller put one tablet in Tom’s mouth, poured some water into his mouth and allowed him to swallow the tablet. Then he put the other tablet in Tom’s mouth and gave him more water.
‘You will feel drowsy very quickly. Once you fall asleep, I will un-cuff your wrists. I will see you in the morning, Tom.’
Miller stood by the bed until Tom’s eyes closed. Miller sighed as he un-cuffed Tom’s wrists, then, he left the room, locking the door behind him.
12
Tom and Miller walked along the Jubilee Gardens.
It was a sunny day in London; the sun glistened off the river Thames and the surrounding buildings. The London Eye gleamed from the rays. The grass looked green and healthy, with no dead spots in sight. The Thames was dark blue with boats cruising along the river and seagulls fluttering around the water.
‘See Tom, London is normal. You are very sick and in need of my help. You just need me to help you.’
Tom and Miller walked to the London Eye, Tom looked up at it smiling.
‘Last time I was here, this was scattered all across the gardens there.’ Tom looked to the green, open field.
‘Well, in your dreams, hey Tom?’
A light, engine sound echoed through Tom’s ears.
‘Can you hear that, Doctor?’
‘Hear wh…’
Miller was shot before he could answer Tom. Miller collapsed to the ground covered in bullet holes.
Tom looked behind him to see the surrounding buildings exploding into smithereens. He watched as the trees lost their leaves, the grass turned into nothing but mud, the swings and climbing frames burned into orange and grey rust. The children sitting on the swings burst into flames and disappeared.
Soon, Tom was alone; even Miller’s body had disappeared.
Then he heard a creaking sound followed by a number of snapping sounds. Tom watched as the ground ahead of him, the London Eye moved inland. Tom turned around and began to walk backward; he saw the London Eye falling. As it reached him, he could hear Dr. Miller’s voice fading in and out and echoing eerily in his mind.
‘Mr. Williams. Mr. Williams. Wake up.’
The Eye was a foot from hitting the ground; it exploded violently, launching Tom into the middle of the street. He hastily got back onto his feet. As he turned to run, Anna stood right in front of him. Her pupils were a deep red, blood trickled from her eyes, leaking down to her cheeks and onto her blood-stained neck, which was covered in bloody hand marks. She had no expression, her skin was a light cream colour and her neck was covered in black, thick veins. She smiled, revealing yellow stumps for teeth and pitch black gums.
A hovercraft distracted Tom from looking at Anna any longer. It arose from seemingly nowhere. Anna began to scream, the scream pierced Tom’s ears. He stared at Anna’s mouth opening wider and wider. The hovercraft shot the ground around Tom and Anna. It shot a bullet towards Tom’s head that seemed to travel in slow motion, as it reached his face, it forced him to awaken from his nightmare.
Tom sat up straight, short of breath, sweat dripping down his forehead and running down his stubbled face in rivulets. Miller stood at the end of the bed.
‘You okay, Mr. Williams?’
Tom paused as he tried to catch his breath. He grabbed the glass of water next to his bed, sipped, and stared at Miller.
‘Yeah, just a bad dream.’
‘Care to share?’
‘I can’t really remember it, but I think my Mum was killed, was a childhood nightmare.’
‘Okay, Mr. Williams. I have some good news. We can go into London today, but I need to introduce you to someone. Come in, Smith.’
The door opened and a young man entered. He wore black shoes, trousers, blazer and tie, with a white shirt and identification badge on his right pocket on the blazer. His blonde hair was spiked at the front. His shoulders were wide and sloped, his arms hung loose as he swaggered toward the bed. A gun was strapped to his waist.
‘Mr. Williams, this is Agent Smith. He’ll be coming to London with us. I trust that you’ll be on your best behaviour, but rules are rules. You’re a danger to the public, so we have to take precautions, I’m afraid.’
Smith folded his arms, revealing bulging biceps. ‘Good to meet you, Mr. Williams. If you decide to make a run for it, I will not hesitate to shoot you, and these are not rubber bullets, understood?’
‘Understood,’ Tom said sarcastically.
‘Good to see you two getting on so well already. Agent Smith and I will leave you to get ready now. I have left you some normal clothes to wear while in London. I’m assuming you don’t want to wear that white, unflattering all in-one paper suit,’ Miller chuckled.
Miller and Smith left the room and shut the door. A faint locking sound could be heard after the door closed.
Tom walked toward the chest of drawers opposite his bed. There were clothes folded on the top of it. Tom took the clothes and placed them on his bed.
The clothes Miller left him were identical to the clothes Tom wore at Jubilee Gardens with Anna. Tom thought of the sun shining into his eyes, Anna’s eyes sparkling, the deep blue water full of energy, he remembered the breeze blowing across his skin.
These are memories; they are not hallucinations. How could I have been fooled! They must be covering up what happened. I cannot be the only one to be alive after it. I need to get out of here.
Tom unzipped his jumpsuit and let it drop onto the ground. It gathered at his feet and he kicked it aside. He quickly grabbed the shirt and blue jeans and got dressed.
He looked at himself; he imagined the grass stains from Jubilee Gardens on his knees, the loose grass on his shirt and bits of grass floating to the ground from his hair as he wiped his head.
Tom looked at the drawers where his clothes were. Next to the drawers were a pair of white Nike trainers and a pair of socks. Tom picked them up and sat on his bed. He put on the socks and forced on the white, undersized Nike trainers.
‘Mr. Williams, are you okay?’ Miller’s voice sounded muffled from behind the door.
‘Yes, I’m ready now.’ Tom said confidently.
As the door unlocked and swung open, Smith walked into the room. Tom launched himself at him and swung his fist. Smith ducked under Tom’s arm and grabbed his torso, lifted him up, and slammed Tom down onto the ground. Tom let out a grunt as he landed hard on his back. Tom grabbed Smith by the collar and threw another punch toward him. His knuckles dug into Smith’s eye, forcing Smith to lose his grip. Tom kicked Smith’s face over and over; Smith covered his face with his hands.
Smith held his eye in agony. Tom turned to the exit, but was confronted by Miller, holding a rifle. He fired at Tom, who felt a sharp pain in his neck. Feeling drowsy, Tom slid his fingertips down his neck, grasping something pointy and sharp.
He attempted to pull it out, but the room became dark, and his eyelids felt heavier and heavier before he finished. Tom lost all feeling and thumped to the floor.
13
Miller’s voice faded in and out. The words were unclear.
Tom began to regain his senses. A cooling breeze caressed his body; he heard a light drone of traffic and children’s laughter nearby. The sun began to touch his skin; he smelled hot dogs and sunscreen.
Tom opened his eyes and sat up. As his sight improved, he recognised the sounds and smells of the location; he knew exactly where he was.
‘Hello, Tom, nice of you to join us, finally,’ Miller said smugly.
He looked around Jubilee Gardens, looking at the grass, the trees, the birds, the River Thames and, of course, the London Eye.
How can this be? I saw all this; it was mud and was completely fucked. Maybe I did dream it, and I’m really ill. There’s no way I could see the Eye destroyed like it was and it still be here now.
Tom didn’t speak and didn’t listen to Miller who was speaking to him. Tom looked at Miller, he was moving his mouth, but no sound was hitting Tom’s eardrums. Miller’s voice was overpowered by Tom’s shock and disbelief and the noise of the laughter from the surrounding crowds.
Smith stood next to Tom with his arms folded, looking down at Tom.
‘I… I cannot… can’t hear what you’re saying Doctor.’ Tom stuttered in disbelief.
‘I said do you want an ice cream?’
‘I… I’m not hungry.’
‘What about you, Smith? Want a hot dog?’ Miller looked up from where he sat, squinting in order to see Smith.
‘Yeah, alright then, cheers.’
‘Fantastic. Get two hot dogs, then. I don’t want any sauces. Thanks.’
Smith looked confusingly at Miller, then pulled out a leather wallet and walked away.
‘Right, Mr. Williams, do you believe me now? You told me once that you came here and it was all dead, everything was burnt and there was no grass and the Eye was gone. Well, here you are, at Jubilee Gardens in the rare sunshine here in London.’ Miller looked at Tom, waiting for a response, but Tom only stared at the green grass. Miller continued, ‘This is the real world. The one that seemed so real to you is not real. There is no virus or any lunatics running around and Anna is still alive.’
‘To me she isn’t.’
‘Tom, you can move on and live a happy life. You can recuperate mentally and try to regain your normal self and live the rest of your life. Do you want to meet her?’
‘Meet who?’
‘Anna, of course.’
Tom turned his head while still looking at the grass.
‘Okay, then whe…’
‘Okay good. Tom, I’d like you to meet your girlfriend, Anna.’
Tom looked behind him and saw a brunette woman with a young boy, no older than six. The boy held tightly to the woman’s hand.
She wore a yellow, flower print top with denim shorts that clung to her thighs and ended two inches above her knees. The boy wore an orange t-shirt with a cartoon character on the front.
‘And your son, Jack.’ Miller said slowly.
Tom stood hastily and turned towards them both. He took a step. Anna smiled at him, while Jack hid behind her leg.
‘Don’t be shy Jack, it’s your daddy.’ Miller strained to stand.
‘Hi, Tom.’ Anna said.
Tom stared at her in silence. He folded his arms and turned toward the River Thames.
This can’t be happening. I’d remember having a kid!
‘Why didn’t you tell me I had a child?’ Tom turned and shouted at Miller. ‘Tom, not now, or I’ll have to take you back. You are embarrassing yourself by shouting out loud here.’
Tom stared at Miller and Miller stared into Tom’s eyes.
‘This isn’t Anna and that’s not my son.’
‘How can you say that?’ Anna shouted. ‘You come here right now and say that to his face and mine.’
Tom walked up to Anna and looked her right in the face. She looked similar to the way he remembered Anna. He looked at her freckly nose, as she tried to hold back her tears; he noticed her nose crinkle as she frowned. Tom squatted next to the child. ‘Hello. Do you know who I am?’ Tom asked Jack.
Jack stood there as he looked at Tom. He hesitated for a moment as he looked up to Anna.
‘You’re Daddy.’
Tom looked into Jack’s light blue eyes, as shiny as crystals. His light brown hair was soft and neatly brushed to one side. Tom stroked Jack’s soft and spongy cheek. Tom’s eyes began to water and the tears dripped off his lower lashes. He stood up and stepped back from Anna and Jack.
‘Is that enough, Tom?’ Miller asked.
Tom didn’t answer as he began to sob. He put his hands over his mouth and nose and turned again to look at the river. His crying continued as he kept his back turned to the others.
‘Tom please…’ Miller interrupted Anna.
‘I think that’s enough for today, Anna. Let him rest. We’ll see you again soon.’
Anna stood waiting for Tom to turn around to look at her.
‘Come on then, Jacko. Daddy’s still not well.’
‘Sorry about this, Anna. Sorry, Jack, but Daddy is a bit upset today.’
Smith returned with two hot dogs and an ice cream.
‘Here you go Jack, an ice cream for you.’ Miller snatched the ice cream from Smith’s grasp and gently held it in front of Jack, who took it slowly from Miller’s hand. Smith sighed as he began to eat his hot dog.
‘What do you say, Jacko?’ Anna nudged Jack.
‘Thank you, Dr. Miller.’ Jack said, under his breath.
‘That’s okay. Me and Daddy’ll see you soon. Bye bye. Bye, Anna.’
Anna and Jack looked at Tom before they turned and walked away.
Smith handed Miller a hot dog and they both walked to Tom.
‘I know that must have been hard for you but…’ Tom interrupted Miller.
‘Shut the fuck up. I have no fucking idea who they were. That was not Anna and that was not my son.’
‘It is. That’s the only family you’ve got Tom. Everyone close to you is dead and you need to realise it. Move on from this fantasy world you created.’ Miller grabbed Tom’s shoulder and pulled Tom toward him. ‘You need to get a grip Tom, we’ve come backwards here. You’re ill. That was your real family. Stop focusing on that dream you had and that fake life of yours. You’re here and you’re living right now.’ Miller loosened his grip while Tom stared at the River Thames.
‘We gonna go back soon?’ Smith mumbled with his mouthful of hotdog.
‘Yes, I think that may be best.’
‘Can we walk toward the footbridge on the main road that leads to Waterloo station?’ Tom asked.
‘I’m sure we can. We can’t take too long.’ Miller replied.
Miller and Tom led the way and Smith swaggered behind.
‘Why do you want to go walk here?’ Miller asked.
‘Because I want to see more people.’
Tom experimented walking with his prosthetic leg. He didn’t struggle and it felt completely natural.
‘How does this leg feel normal to walk on? I could run with this leg if I wanted to.’
‘Well, don’t attempt it, or Smith will have to kill you. But it’s got joints allowing you to bend and move your ankle and foot and it is linked to your nerves so that it feels as if you have a normal human leg. I created it myself.’
When they reached the road, Tom breathed easier as he watched black taxis, red buses, cars and pedestrians. The footbridge was very congested with people and Tom began to smile.
It’s all so normal, as if nothing happened. Maybe nothing did happen and I am well and truly unstable.
But how could I not remember Anna or my own son or killing a lot of people? This still doesn’t make sense.
Tom’s thoughts were interrupted when he saw a girl lying in the middle of the road, her legs were missing. Blood stained the road around her. The road began to crumble and shake. Tom felt lightheaded; he exhaled slowly. He leaned forward clutching his knees as he bent over. Miller looked down at Tom and moved his hotdog toward Tom’s face.
‘Here Tom, eat some of this. You need energy.’ Miller said calmly.
Tom began to stumble backward; Smith grabbed him to keep him from falling.
‘Jesus, what the fuck’s up with him?’ Smith shouted at Miller.
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