My Own Worst Enemy
(Outro)
By
Robby Richardson
I fell through the glass and could feel myself hit a wooden floor. Dust flew and hit me in the face. Although it was short fall the impact seemed to have winded me more than I thought. My chest felt tight like I had just been punched in the stomach. As I opened my eyes it took me several minutes to realize that they were actually open. I had to lift myself up slightly as I stared at the only light in the room. It seemed to catch my eye as I heard faint muttering in the distance. The muttering was random but seemed to be partaken between two individuals. Although when I raised my head I had noticed that only one man occupied the small dusty office. I noticed that the windows were boarded up and even the door lay so covered with grim the words were lost behind it.
The man looked foreign to me yet the closer I approached him the more familiar he became. His tongue lay slightly out of his mouth has he scribbled furiously on a scrap piece of paper. I didn’t know what to say or what to do. He didn’t even gaze at me as he continued to scribble. I came closer, “hello,” he began muttering with speed. I came closer watching the dusty desk becoming clearer, “hello,” I repeated a little louder this time. The man did not raise an eye or bat an eyelash. Through the curly locks I stared down at a face that would have made any other man’s mouth drop in horror. However I was used to seeing myself, “Robby,” he slammed down the pencil and finally his eyes rose up to me. They lacked my baby blues and all that was there was the white. I watched myself backed away, “who . . . who are you”? This was something that I had not expected. I didn’t even have a moment to stare at the note. Clothed in an outfit of all white, he moved like a monster around the desk. Stalking . . . hunting, as his eyes never left me. “Whoa . . . listen,” but my words seemed lost as I hit the back wall. My double’s hands outstretched towards me, “no just keep away”! I raised my fist back, feeling the oddest sensation and the realization of my actions. My fist collided with my face and his head turned without the slightest bit of discomfort. However the moment that my fist made contact an invisible force seemed to clobber with the side of my own face. I felt the lights immediately go out of me like a pop. I seemed to spin on the spot as I hit the wall falling to the floor. My jaw felt broken as I watched my double dance before me. It was hard to talk with a mouthful of blood, “don . . . da . . . it”. His hands outstretched as I tried to speak. I tried to get up, but I grabbed at his wrist but his strength was abnormal. He wrestled me down as his cold hands clenched around my throat. I tried to scream but the more I tried to scream the tighter his hands got. I grabbed his wrists but blacked out to my own face strangling me utter loathing in every boyish cheek.
I woke up standing, which was out of the ordinary because I have never slept standing in any form. I moved slightly and realized that my hands were tied and my feet in the same situation. “My mouth seemed clear of all the blood, “what’s going on,” I felt something burning around my neck and realized that the noose that I had seen earlier was now around my own neck. “HEY GET ME OUT OF HERE,” I screamed as I shook on the wobbly table, “I wouldn’t do that if I were you”. I turned to see me again but this time I saw the boyish blue eyes that I was known for. He smiled up at me, “what the hell is this shit? You told me that you were going to show me . . .” he smiled “yes the edge of insanity. But this isn’t insanity”. I closed my eyes confused, “what are you talking about? “I am about to hang myself ”. He smiled at me as he edged his way around the desk, “This is insane,” he shook his head, “this isn’t insane. Before I leave you here,” “leave me here”! He smiled wider, “why of course. Only one can go through the mirror”. “Now like I was saying you wanted to know insanity. I can tell you what insanity is.” I raised my hands and tried to fumble with my rope, but the bindings made it useless. I groaned realizing the uselessness. I turned to myself who smiled back, “insanity . . . true insanity is life”. My eyes narrowed, “you mean my life”? My double shook his head, “no, life in general.”
“So the very edge of insanity is life,” “of course . . . you don’t agree”? Shaking my head, “how could you say something like that”? My double walked around the table and stood in front of me, “there’s just no . . .” he waved his hand as if the situation was humorous. “What’s the word I’m looking for,” he snapped his fingers several times before he finally found what he was looking for. “No purpose, you see the more I watch the more pointless it becomes. And when one step’s away from the picture one must realize that a new canvas must be used. Even serial killers and mass murderers have a purpose, whether it’s personal, revenge, hatred, beliefs, whatever the cause for their rage there is purpose”. I shook my head, “but I’m nothing like that. I’m not a serial killer”. “No,” he said simply, “no your not . . . but I am. I’m more than just Dr. Billy Khydd. I am your beliefs manifested into a physical form”. He pointed up to me, “You wanted to know insanity? Life is true insanity. You and your kind whine and complain about taxes, politics, scandals, but what it comes down to is your all to chicken shit to become what were born to be”. My eyes watched him as he began to lick his lips, “You live life this way because you all choose to live it. You have the power. We all have the power to change this world. We don’t have to live in fear. We are fear . . . I am fear. Now let me bring sense to a world gone mad”.
He turned from me, “Wait . . . wait don’t leave me here. You can’t leave me here”. My double never looked back as the tiny desk rattle below me. I knew one slight move and the desk would give from beneath me. My legs shook as I felt tears enter my eyes a plea in my voice, “please . . . . please you don’t have to do this! You don’t have to . . . let me go”! He made his way to the small rectangle of motioning gray liquid that led to my bathroom. He clapped his hands together as he grabbed the sides. “Please,” I screamed, “you don’t have to do this. Don’t leave me here!” He stuck his leg through the hole, “why are you doing this”?! “So kings may rise Robby, so kings may rise,” the remainder of his words were lost as his body fell through the mirror.
Crash!! Stephanie’s eyes opened with a blood shot gaze towards her door. She turned in her bed, “Jesus can’t he be quiet”? She rose out of her bed and moved out her door, there came a shuffling from the bathroom. Knocking on the door, “Robby,” she called out. Regretting the possible nightmare that lay behind the door she gulped. She opened the door a little, “Robby are you alright? I’m coming in” She entered the bathroom and saw her brother standing in the middle of the room. He was covered in water and was drying himself off with a towel. He turned, “yeah Steph, what’s up”? He ran the towel through his dishwater blond hair, but her attention was immediately drawn to his eyes. His dark black eyes, empty almost soulless, “Robby, oh my god are you alright”? His eyes narrowed, “yeah everything is fine. Why is something wrong with you?” She pointed to his eyes, “it’s just your . . .” he turned and saw his reflection in the mirror. “Oh,” he turned back and waved at the lights, “well my eyes have to adjust you know been in the dark”?
Stephanie shook her head in confusion, “since when do you take a shower at three in the morning? I didn’t even hear the water running or anything”. He shrugged, “Is there anything you need? I have to get to bed I got a busy day tomorrow”. Stephanie gulped a little as she turned from his gaze, “no . . .” She paused and then shook her head trying to shrug it off, “can you keep it down?” He nodded, “sure will, I’m going to go to bed right now actually”? His smile sent a chill down her skin as she turned from him, “yeah,” she began to close the door. “Good night Steph,” she nodded, “yeah night”. She retreated back to her room her mind ran over her older brother. He sure was acting weird.
The End