Splattered by Tag Cavello - HTML preview

PLEASE NOTE: This is an HTML preview only and some elements such as links or page numbers may be incorrect.
Download the book in PDF, ePub, Kindle for a complete version.


AFTERWORD

***

I have just come from one of the classrooms in the old junior high school where we’re shooting our next book, Desdemona. Tag was with me, as were a number of his ex classmates from those days of his in which yours truly didn’t exist. Someone had given him a mock schedule to follow for a mock school day. We all thought that was funny. Except, well, whoever wrote it must have been a boy, because the handwriting was so poor Tag could only read about half. Then he gave up and handed it to me. I couldn’t read it either. What I could read, however, looked very strange. The name of one of the classes—honest to goodness—was Beautiful. Now what exactly would be taught in a class like that? Who would be the teacher?

Tag wondered too, but rather than employ reason and rationalization to the problem, he made fun of it. He imagined the teacher as being a flamboyant homosexual, strutting in front of a blackboard while giving tips about clothes and make-up and decorating your table for guests. Did we laugh? Oh hell yes we did. Tag can call up a gay lisp that is lispier than any gay’s I have ever known.

My point is this: Even in the worst of times (and things are bad right now, trust me) that guy can make just about anyone laugh. He rarely feels like laughing himself, but he also knows the importance of humor as a way to forget and, ultimately, as a way to heal.

I had high hopes for Splattered when it came out last year. Why not? It was funny, it was fun. My character, Keltie Burke, was sexy and cool. The dialogue was ripping. We had a marvelous supporting cast. Whenever I got the chance I would say to Tag: “Hey, everyone’s going to read this book; everyone’s going to talk about it.”

He never believed me. Turned out he was right. Hardly anyone so much as blinked at Splattered. Still, we were all surprised at how poorly it did, to the point where Tag asked me to write this afterword instead of doing it himself. So here I am.

Sorry you guys didn’t go for this one more. Somebody needs to tell me why. I really do believe it’s a great novel. We certainly had fun making it. Well, maybe not too much fun. We take comedy very seriously. Does that make sense? It ought to. Nothing gets green-lit until we're absolutely certain people are going to laugh. If nobody laughs, it’s the ax right there. Kaput.

You know what’s hard? Being in love with a man who doesn’t believe in himself. I’m in that boat right now. But as the leading lady in not only Tag's books but his life as well, I consider cheerleading as part of my job. He needs my support just to make it through an ordinary day. On the set of a novel (like the one we’re trying to work on now), it’s the very air he breathes. You read that right. I do breath-holding scenes in a lot of our stories; he’s the one who’d suffocate without me.

Not that I’m stupid enough to think I wouldn’t die without him. I absolutely would. We need each other. We really do. And I keep telling him: “One day, baby, we’re going to break through.”

It just didn’t happen with Splattered. Maybe it won’t with Desdemona, either. I don’t know. But I’ll keep cheering. Someone who loves me, who created me, can’t go on without it.

That’s all the motivation I require.

 

Crystal Genesio, January 30, 2018