FOURTEEN
When Rachel poked her head around the door she was surprised to see that Mary was out of her seat and standing over by the window at the far side of the room staring out into the dark beyond.
“Hi, Mary, good to see you on your feet. How are you feeling?” She asked and closed the door gently behind her.
“Numb,” the girl said to the window. “Where am I again?”
“You’re at the lifeboat station you were brought here after...” She let her voice trail off.
“I’m on an island.” Mary said.
“Yes that’s right,” Rachel was about to say its name but thought better of it remembering how she had reacted last time. “Don’t you remember how you got here?” Rachel thought she caught the slight hint of a smile from the girl’s refection in the window. “You smiled.”
“Did I?”
Rachel moved into the room, she could see from the empty mug on the coffee table that Mary had drained the remainder of the hot chocolate. That at least was a good sign. “Look, Mary. Why don’t you come and have a sit down. You won’t see much out there just more wind and rain.”
“It’s so dark out there,” she said almost inaudibly.
“Don’t worry, you’re safe in here. There are two police officers doing a quick circuit outside. They know what they’re doing. And once this storm clears we can get you some real help.”
Did she just see the girl flinch at that? “Mary, we need to know what happened tonight. I know it’s hard but a man’s dead, the police think his killer is still on the island.”
Mary slowly turned away from the window and looked straight at Rachel her face had such a haunted look to it that the doctor almost winced. She felt so out of her depth, she knew she needed to ask the questions but she couldn’t help but fear she would drive the girl back into that near catatonic state she had been in when she first arrived. Christ, she thought, the things this poor girl must have seen.
“Such a nightmare,” Mary said. “Did you ever feel like you were asleep but couldn’t wake up? That’s what this is like.”
“Come on, sit down before you fall down,” Rachel told her.
Mary shook her head suddenly agitated. “I shouldn’t be here,” she said.
“Mary, please.” Rachel moved to take the girl’s arm, but she pulled violently away.
“Don’t touch me!”
“Sorry, sorry. Mary, I’m trying my best here but I need you to trust me. Let’s start with why you were out in this weather in the first place. Do you live at the retreat at the other side of the island, are you a student there? Did you know the man who was killed?” Rachel instantly regretted blurting out the torrent of questions but it was too late now.
“What, no, I mean I came here...” Mary shook her head in frustration clearly fighting to find the right words.
“Were you on a date?” Rachel asked lamely.
This won a cry of derision from the girl. “A date?”
“Mary, please I’m sorry, no more questions for now.” Rachel had to bite back a sob, she was supposed to be helping the poor woman but she was just making matters worse. “I’m sorry,” she repeated.
This seemed to calm her somewhat. Mary screws her eyes tight shut and seemed to concentrate on regulating her breathing. “It was all so vivid at first,” she said her eyes still closed. “So many forgotten things, hitting me all at once, it was so over whelming, so disorientating. I wasn’t prepared for that.”
“Of course not,” Rachel said.
“But now,” Mary continued. “It’s like it’s all just slipping away from me. The pictures in my head, the sound of it all fading away.” She made a strange rolling motion with her shoulder and straightened her back as if surprised she could move it so freely.
Mary finally opened her eyes to look at the doctor. “It’s bliss,” she said with the hint of a melancholy smile.