Laying there with Kellan and AJ made me yearn to find a safe haven for my new found treasure to grow. Azura was quite something unexpected but simply amazing. She just seemed to doze like there wasn’t killer monsters outside who wanted to make her a noon day snack. Being with Kellan and AJ , it made me feel like I had my own little family. I know at first I didn’t want anything to do with Kellan, but I think that he will be the one that I will grow to love, eventually that is. I was the happiest I had been in a really long time and I didn’t want this happiness to end. I knew that it would the moment when we told his parents about our Azura.
Kellan had managed to scrounge up some snacks for us, so we could finally watch this fucking movie and enjoy what he was calling our “Happiness Bubble”. We spent every moment just enjoying each other’s company talking like we used to, about dreams, fantasies, hopes, our life with AJ. Talking about those deep rooted thoughts made me want to find a home that was safe, like a private island deprived of people and animals and the only people allowed there were survivors like Kellan and I. Azura needed that, she needed a safe place to grow up, free from fucking biters who wanted to consume her innards and make her an undead baby.
I know it sounds kind of stupid to dream of a special place like that in a corrupted world like this. I just want AJ to grow up in a normal world, like I did. I want her to play in the sun and go to the beach. She deserves to enjoy her childhood, but not in this hell hole.
“Kellan. I want to leave. Not like leave the house and go back to the bunker but leave this area. I want to find out if there may be a place that is safer than it is here and if there are other survivors or a better place to raise AJ. I want you to come with me. I understand if you don’t want to. I just want her to have a happy childhood and actually be able to grow up, you know?”
“Betts.... That’s going to be damn near fucking impossible to do. There are biters everywhere. I know you want to leave but I just don’t think it’s a good idea. Not only that it’s too dangerous on the road and AJ would be like a biter alarm. She cries when she’s hungry. We can’t take her out in the open. I mean are you fucking stupid today, Betts ?”
“Sorry.... I.... I.... It was just an idea. I just know that we are all going to need supplies soon. AJ needs formula and diapers. Your dad has that armored RV. It should be safe from biters. I mean bullet proof glass, safety metal armor like a tank. So it would be safe to transport AJ in, plus it’s in the garage. Your dad knew eventually if something like this happened you all would have to leave. Why do you think there is two of them ? Think it over, Kellan. Please?”
“I’ll think on it, Betts. That is all you will get from me right now.”
“Okay.”
I guess I had really made my point with Kellan because he had that look on his face that said ‘ I am thoroughly thinking this through right now’. Azura was the quietest baby I had ever seen. She only cried when she was hungry or needed to be changed . She reminded me of those babies on TV commercials. She looked a lot like a cherub without wings, with curling auburn hair and blue-gray eyes. All I wanted to do was just hold her. I couldn’t get enough of her. She smelled of lavender and baby shampoo, an odd mixture but it was beautiful to me . I kept getting this nagging feeling deep down that I would lose her , even though Kellan kept assuring me that it wouldn’t happen.
Kellan and I had fallen in love with this angel and it hadn’t even been seventy-two hours yet. It’s amazing what a baby can do to a person. This baby had brought me and Kellan closer than ever , and that isn’t something that I wanted at all. I just knew that the moment we headed back to the fucking bunker the whole world would go upside down and I would lose everything. Just knowing my luck, Lorna would probably try to sacrifice AJ and that would just give me all the more reason to kill that crazy bitch. I dreaded heading back there. I snuggled next to Kellan and tried to enjoy the few moments of joy and peace I had left before I went back to an excruciating detest of that damn bunker.
AJ let out a little sigh of contentment as she slept in between me and Kellan.
“Betts. I think your right. We need to find somewhere safe to raise AJ. It has to have a large fenced in area with maybe a play gym. A nice house with big windows and lots of room. Trees, there needs to lots of trees. Let’s find that special place for her. We have to do that much if anything for her. She’s the world to me, Betts and I want to make sure that I give my all for her. I don’t care where we have to go but we have to find that place for her. As of now we are AJ’s parents. I think we should get married.”
“Wow Kellan. Are you sure about that ? I mean isn’t there like some fucking paperwork or something ? We’re pretty young and how are you even sure that you even want to be with me in that type of way ? I said find a place to raise AJ not get hitched.”
“So are you saying no ? I am kind of confused here.”
“No. I’m not saying no. But I sure as Hell am not saying yes either. I want to be sure before I just up and marry anyone . Are you wearing a helmet ?”
“Huh?”
“You know, a helmet. Do you eat crayons and lick windows ? Because it seems that you forgot your helmet today or your took it off because it impeded your window licking abilities.”
“Did you just call me a retard ?”
“Me ? Never. I don’t use the ‘R’ word. Your just some kind of special.”
Kellan Smiled. I am not sure that he got the joke or if he did but I managed to change the topic of the conversation.
“Do you think your dad will like AJ ? I picked out the best outfit I could find in the bag . We may find other baby clothes along the way. I hope so.”
“They will love her, well Dad will. You need to get some sleep though. You’re not going to be useful to anyone unless you sleep.”
I just kept getting this gut wrenching feeling that I will let AJ and Kellan down. I am destined for failure or worse. After the movie was over , I laid my head on Kellan’s pillow and pretended to sleep. I kept opening my eyes to check the time. I was counting down the time until we told his parents we were leaving.