My deepest concerns could not be satisfied. I had rung Daphne’s place for most of the night, but to no avail, she was not home to answer my calls. My curiosity could not be quenched, so I would have to take another avenue and be weary of Teddy’s presence. He had been kind to me, yes, but I knew by now that men’s actions were often conducted by an ulterior motive.
As I walked up the long hill, I could not help but ponder the simple fact that Teddy was speaking to someone - an unknown being when he believed I wasn’t around. There was something he was hiding from me, a secret that was connected to his ancestral home. A secret that I was almost sure he would take to his very grave.
He gave no signs of being mentally disturbed, no troubles of the mind that made me believe he had some sort of sickness. Teddy appeared completely sane, but then again, I had only known him for a single day.
As I reached the top of the grassy hill, I could see the faint outline of the grey building. From this distance it appeared to be a very normal house, quite beautiful. Though I was young, I had experienced enough of the world to know that appearances could be deceitful. Instinctively a guard was put up, a wall for my own well-being since I knew the master of this house had a certain partiality towards me. His motives were unclear, but I knew for certain he was going out of his way to please me.
I walked along the stony path, seeing the pale grey sky that shielded the morning sun. It was likely to rain this afternoon if the clouds continued this way.
With each step forward, I could feel my heartbeat escalating, aware that there was a blackness about this house and around the man that owned it too.
The front door drew open, and to my surprise Teddy appeared over the doorway and stepped down onto the rocky pathway. He closed the door behind him and leaned his back against it. He wore a white dress shirt and khaki pants that appeared to be freshly ironed. I could feel his earnest gaze as I slowly approached him, reveling in the scenery that he clearly delighted in.
I stopped in front of him, ensuring there was enough distance to keep me in check. He stared at me intently, though it gradually ebbed away. “Forgive me for staring,” he stated in an almost charming voice. “I trust your journey was well?”
“Yes, Teddy.”
He brought his hands behind him, letting them lean against the door that he rested upon. I wasn’t sure if it was intentional to block the doorway, or if it was a subconscious action. “Would you like to have coffee with me before you begin?”
I bit down on my tongue, unsure of the answer I should give him. He waited ever so patiently for me, taking in my countenance to get a hint of my inner thoughts. “Yes,” I found myself replying. Teddy leaned himself off the door, and then latched his right hand over the doorknob to push it open. The hallway was dark, making me hesitant to walk inside of it.
“Come along now, Sela,” he spoke out in a charming voice. He slipped into the darkened hallway, compelling me to follow his example. I took one last look behind me, seeing the bleakness of his front yard where the distant cliff overlooked the sea. Courage rose within me, and I stepped over the threshold to enter Teddy’s household. It took me some time to remove my yellow spring jacket and high black rubber boots. Teddy was waiting for me down the hall. He stood there watching me, taking in my every movement with care. When I was finally near enough, he almost looked like he wished to smile at me, but he would not allow himself such luxury. “I hope you don’t mind muffins again.”
“No, I don’t mind.”
He stepped over to the right, leading me down the small steps to get into the kitchen. Warmth immediately flooded my senses, making me look over to my right to see the oven was on at a low setting. The scent of coffee filled the air once I approached the rounded table. A platter of fruits rested over the table, its colour losing its vibrancy because of the dimness of the room lighting. Luna was fast asleep upon her master’s chair. Teddy was facing the window, taking hold of matching ceramic cups to lay it out on the counter-top.
“Do you need any help?”
“Everything is ready.” He went over to the oven to turn it off. “I have your carrot muffin ready for you.”
“But I thought I ate the last one!” I exclaimed with an air of disbelief.
“I bought some more.” He retrieved the muffins out of the oven, making sure to lay it out on neat little plates with a napkin at the side. “I purchased enough to last the week.”
“Of carrot?”
“Yes, I imagined it was your favourite,” he replied in a monotonous voice. He turned in my direction and laid the pastel blue plate in front of me. “Do you approve?”
“I feel grateful.”
“As long as I win your approval,” he charmingly replied. “That is all that matters.”
“You go to great lengths of it.” I lowered my gaze, feeling a sense of shame. “But I am grateful for it… truly.”
He turned away, hell-bent on filling our small mugs with fresh coffee. I watched his precise movements, the way his head was bent low as he poured out piping hot coffee into each mug. He returned to my table to set the beverage down, and then smiled slightly at his cat that had taken over his seat. “Luna is tired today,” he observed.
“Cats often sleep at this time.”
“They sleep all the time.” He went over to the counter to retrieve his mug, sliding it over gently to the far end where his refrigerator was positioned. A small amount of dairy satisfied him, and then he spun his spoon around to mix in the sugar that he added for a sweet flavour. In time he returned to the table, using one hand to lift his cat off the chair and delicately settle her over his lap. Luna stirred briefly, but a calmness soon came over her until she was fast asleep once more. A natural silence descended over the kitchen. We drank our beverages calmly, listening to the rushing wind bursting through the tiny crack of the window.
“What did you do with the rest of your day?” Teddy inquired. “Did you work all evening?”
“I was done at five o’clock.”
“And then?”
“I was exhausted,” I laughed to myself. “I think I came home, took a shower, and then put my feet up for the rest of the night.”
“What did you do then?”
“I called my friend.”
“Friend?”
“Yes, Carla.” I looked down at my untouched muffin. “I went to school with her. She is married now, so it is hard to talk nowadays. I suppose that is what happens when you get a husband.”
“I wouldn’t know.”
“Have you ever been married?” He shook his head in reply, shooting down that idea immediately. “Not everyone gets married.”
“I agree,” he woodenly replied. “The bachelor life isn’t so bad. I don’t think I have been with someone for almost five years now. I thought I would marry her but then…”
“Yes?”
“Everything went wrong,” he miserably droned. “Have you ever thought you knew someone, only to find out it was all a lie?”
“Not really.”
“She thought that way about me,” he mused aloud. “That is what she told me.”
“Do you believe her?”
“I think she wanted to change me.” He brought the mug up to his lips. “But as you know, you can’t change a person’s character.”
“Were you different with her?”
“I’m not sure.” He drank his coffee solemnly. “The past haunts me. I don’t think I can live a normal life like everyone else.”
“Why?”
“Because the things I have heard… the things I’ve seen…” He stopped himself short and glanced past me to stare at the chained-up door. “She wanted me to get married and shut up the house, but I could never do that.” His face visibly hardened, becoming stone cold. “She was asking too much, and quite frankly, I didn’t think that was fair.”
“You have to be selfless in marriage.” His eyebrow quirked up in shock. “Perhaps, it was better that you didn’t marry.”
“My, my,” he softly chided. “Don’t you have a firm opinion on the matter?”
“No, not really.”
“Being an only child might change my view on things. When you are the focus of attention… purely doted on…” He wore a shadow of a smile then, as if memories of the past had suddenly seized him. “I imagine it would be harder for me to be, as you call it ‘Selfless.’” Teddy took to sipping his cup of coffee, appearing to be done with this turn of conversation.
“I disagree with you.”
“Do you really?” he asked with a hint of sarcasm.
“You have made a cup of coffee for me,” I pointed out. “Heated up muffins to bring out its flavour. Offered to drive me to the station.”
“I have done all that,” he conceded, with a certain look to him.
“And you have asked nothing in return.”
“No, I have not.” He set his mug down with purpose. “But I believe doing something right for someone will come ‘around in the end.”
“Karma?”
“No, Sela. Something more than that.” He took up his coffee again, seemingly pleased with his answer.
I took my time eating my muffin, enjoying the flavour even more than I did yesterday. Teddy decided to not have anything to eat, so his left hand was occupied with stroking his beloved cat.
The clouds darkened even more, threatening to rain. I hoped it wouldn’t come to that, or there would be no purpose of me being here. My troubled thoughts must have been portrayed by my expressions, because when I looked to my right, I realized Teddy was staring at me. “It will not rain,” he told me.
“It looks like it.”
“The clouds will pass,” he told me with confidence. I had trouble believing him, but I thought it was best not to argue with Teddy. “And even if it did, I hope you will stay.”
“And do what exactly?”
“Be company,” he suggested with an open expression. “I have a library that could occupy you. It might be a benefit to have an outsider’s perspective on my most recent paintings as well.” He pushed away his empty mug. “Or you could listen to music.”
“Do you ever perform for anyone?”
“Like an audience?”
“Yes! In public.”
In a low drone he answered: “No. I don’t think that would be a very good idea.”
“You’re good enough.”
“I thank you.” He brought Luna upwards, and rested her on the kitchen floor. Teddy retrieved his mug, intent on cleaning it in the kitchen sink. He took to washing his mug, giving me enough time to finish up my pastry. I could see now that he desired my company, but I was not sure of the cause for it.
Teddy returned to the table to clear up my plate, softly inquiring if I desired anything else. I felt touched by his concern, but assured him I was quite satisfied at the moment. It felt like he was doting on me, intent on ensuring my happiness, but I could not understand the cause of it.
Luna awoke from her slumber, stretching herself upon the floor to my own amusement. It must have dawned on her that I was around, for Luna came pouncing towards me. She rubbed her head over the side of my leg. I smiled at the sight of her, and since I had finished my pastry, I lifted Luna up and placed her over my lap. Her white fur was stroked softly, watching the way her chin perked upwards to lock eyes with me. Luna was pure and good, and I could not help but love her.
“You grow on her,” Teddy observed. He was drying his hands now, letting a peaceful gaze fall over my visage. “Soon she will follow you everywhere.”
“Does she follow you?”
“To most places,” he quipped with something of a smile. He pulled out his chair and descended over it with certain grace. Teddy let his elbow rest over the table, letting the palm of his hand support his head. He had no qualms to stare at me, making the sides of my cheek blush with nerves. “What are you thinking?” he questioned me with a certain playfulness to his voice.
“Oh, I…” Teddy pursed his lips, trying to suppress a laugh. My nerves were shot, and it was only getting worse. “I seem to have forgotten.”
“Should I help you?” he teased.
I picked up my mug, hoping the last of my coffee would be a welcome distraction. Luna was placing her claws over the bottom of my stomach, trying to getting my attention as well.
“I feel very comfortable with you,” he mused aloud. “Do you get that a lot?”
“No, not really.”
“There is a sort of peace to you.” He let his fingertips dip into the side of his cheek, highlighting the defined cheekbones he wore so well. “It helps calm my nerves.”
I offered him a soft smile, feeling at a loss of how to answer this man’s statement.
He moved his head back, letting his thumb scrape over the last of his chin. “I suppose it is time to get back to work. I suddenly feel inspired to paint.”
“Oh, of what?”
“I’m not sure.” He dropped his right hand downwards upon the table. I watched him push in his chair, drawing himself closer to me. “It’s just a feeling.”
“What kind?”
“Like profound passion!” he blurted out. “Ecstasy! Something of that inspiration.” He stretched out his hands towards me. “May I have Luna now? I am becoming extremely jealous.”
I laughed at his words, finding them somewhat amusing. Luna was placed over the table, and she naturally walked over to her rightful owner. Teddy took to petting Luna, appearing pleased that his cat had returned to him.
“What are your plans today?” He raised Luna upwards until she was standing on her hind-legs. “In the garden?”
“I know I have to mow the lawn.”
“Yes, I seem to have been putting that off,” he contemplated aloud. “My mind is everywhere these days.”
“Oh, I don’t mind doing it.”
“If you need any help let me know,” he consoled. “I don’t want you to overexert yourself.” He looked over his shoulder to see that it had not rained just yet. “And if it does pour, I want you to come inside right away.”
“Yes, Teddy.”
“Best be off then.” He rose out of his chair, bringing Luna with him. “I’ll walk you to the door.”
“Shouldn’t I wash up the dishes?”
“Don’t bother.” He motioned his hand for me to rise off the wooden chair. I could feel his intensive stare as I made my way over to him. There was a tension in the air, I could feel it. “I might come out and visit you later,” he informed me. He dropped his gaze in a bashful manner. “If I need any more inspiration.”
Speechless, I walked past him and headed towards the door. His soft footsteps were barely heard behind me, but I knew he was near enough to me. Once I reached the front door, I took a hold of my coat, wanting my back to Teddy as I threw it on. A tiny meow filled the air, making me look over my shoulder to see Teddy was a few steps away.
“I might have Luna go out in the garden.” He massaged the top of her brow with profound devotion. “We could join you for a bit.”
I leaned my hand against the wall as I slipped on one boot at time. Teddy must have noticed my silence, but I thought it was for the best.
“Hold her for a bit, will you?” The cat was placed into my arms, and then he took a close spot beside me to slip on his shoes. “I don’t think I will put on my jacket just yet.”
“But it’s windy.”
“I like the cold,” he piped up with agreeableness. “And I live next to the coast, it’s to be expected.” I opened the door for Teddy, catching him off-guard. “No, you go first.”
“Alright.”
“Let me have Luna.”
His cat was coddled in his arms tightly, and with a short nod of his head upwards he encouraged me to move forward. We exited the house together, and to my surprise Teddy made the best effort to walk by my side.
“Take the key for now.” He pulled it out of his pant pockets to hand it over to me. “Have to lean in more, I can’t drop Luna, can I?”
I chuckled lightly, and then leaned into his arm just a bit to retrieve the key. He made sure to let his dark brown eyes fall over me, taking care to watch my every expression. I swallowed hard, and then clutched the key to the shed tightly in my hand. I was almost certain he had an attraction towards me now; that look of his explained everything.
We reached the shed; Teddy lowered himself to the ground to let Luna pounce out of his arms to scamper towards the front of his shed. I fidgeted with the key shyly, knowing that most of his attention would turn to me. Teddy exceeded my expectations, examining my profile as we walked side by side. I reached out for the doorknob, letting the key gently slip inside of the lock. His voice broke the silence as he inquired: “What do you think of my house?”
“I like it.”
“Yes, but could you elaborate on it a little?” He watched me turn the key to unlatch the door. “I think it deserves a little more than that.”
“It is beautiful. How could you not like it?” He tilted his head questionably. “It is located by the sea.” I propped the shed door and moved backwards to let it swing open. Teddy watched me step through, taking on a vow of silence for some unknown reason. I turned on a light switch, noticing how it flickered on and off. I did my best to find the lawnmower, keenly aware that Teddy was standing just outside the door.
There was rubbing of flesh against a hard surface, and when I turned my head it was to see him standing there with his arms outstretched to rest his hands over the sides of the door-frame. “And is that all?”
“I’m sorry.” I rubbed the back of my hand against my nose since it was so dusty in here. “What do you mean?”
The light flickered off just as Teddy stated: “Your opinion on my house.”
“Well… what am I supposed to say?”
“My grandfather fell in love with this place the second he saw it. The former tenants had been living here for generations, only selling it when they suffered through financial hard times. They told my grandfather it was built by blood and sweat alone.” He raised his chin up proudly. “But perhaps I put too much thought into it.”
“There is nothing wrong with being proud of it.”
He stepped forward, and then flickered on the light switch a few times until it came back on. “I must fix this,” he muttered. “Add it to my list.”
I had my back to him, not liking how we were trapped in this tightly enclosed space. The light flickered on, creating a strange yellow halo just over my head. I blocked the light a bit with my hand, so I could see the very back of the shed. “The lawnmower must be here.”
“Here let me,” he insisted. I felt his arm brush over mine as he passed by, and then he knelt downwards to have a better look. “I should have a flashlight or something here.”
“It would be safer.”
“Yes, add that to my list as well,” he drawled out softly. “Do you see it?”
“There are boxes in the way.”
“Yes, but I haven’t cut the lawn myself in quite some time.” He scratched the top of his head, brushing up his short brown hair. “I guess we can’t call her?”
“I tried last night, but she wasn’t home.”
“Call Daphne?” he said with a note of sarcasm. “Whatever for?”
I chose to avoid eye contact with him as I lied: “Ask her about the garden.”
“If you have any questions on the design of the garden then it would be better to ask me.” He let his hand rest at the back of his head. “A change in lighting and now I can see it. Rather small, isn’t it?” He pushed a cardboard box aside to take a hold of the heavy machinery. “I think I will do it.”
“Teddy,” I scolded, hardly believing a word of it.
“No, I will cut the grass!” he argued back. “Take a step back, my dear. You are in the way.”
I had to backpedal until I was out of the shed, seeing him cart it out with certain ease. He brought it down onto the grass, letting out a shrill whistle to Luna that had softly padded over to us. “Luna is in the way.”
“Carry her back to the house,” he quietly instructed. “No! Let her be. This machine is quiet, and it has a manual handle. She won’t be in the way.” He left me to retrieve something else in the shed. I crouched onto my knees to pet Luna, liking the soft purring noise that escaped her as I stroked my hand over the side of her. Teddy returned to my side with sturdy gardening gloves in hand. “I see there are some weeds along the side of the hut. Would you remove them for me please?”
“Certainly.”
“Try and keep Luna near you.”
I left his side to retrieve gardening gloves as well and a small bag to put in the yard waste. Teddy returned to the shed to speak to me, trapping me in completely. “Everything alright?”
“I’m fine.”
“Do you have any food allergies?”
“What?” I nearly laughed since I was so caught off-guard by his inquiry.
“Once I am done with this, I hope to prepare lunch.”
“Oh! No, I am not allergic to anything.”
“Thanks.” He left the shed after that, intent on mowing the lawn near the front of the house. We would be separated for quite some time, but luckily, I had little Luna as a friendly companion. The wind was brisk, although it was not intolerable. As a matter of fact, it was very peaceful out here today, almost making me forget the occurrence of strange incidents around this household. Teddy didn’t seem to be in any trouble, and I saw no signs of him speaking to anyone aloud. He appeared quite content as he rolled the lawn mower over the grass. I watched his tall figure, the way his long legs outstretched themselves as he moved forward. I did not find him a handsome man at first, but he did have some qualities that made him attractive.
I went to the side of the shed and began to pull out the prickly weeds, knowing the feisty dandelions were the next to go. If we weren’t careful it would take over the whole lawn. Luna was out on the field, chasing after a moth that captured her attention. I laughed at the spectacle and then continued with my work.
I thought it was ambitious for Teddy to want to mow the entire lawn in one day, mainly because his property was so extensive. It was so large that he didn’t need a fence to divide his property, there was nothing but wide open fields. In the distance of his backyard I could see a line of trees, tightly clustered together to give a natural shelter to the outskirts of his yard. It was nice to see him take pride in his home. I lived in a small flat, barely enough room to move around, so it was a sharp contrast to see the enormous house belonging to Teddy. He appeared to be proud of this ancestral house, but I did notice he had not spoken much about his family. He was an only child, yes, but shouldn’t Teddy have been close to his parents? He mentioned his mother died. Did she pass away recently or when he was a child? He hadn’t made one mention about his father yet. As a matter of fact, Teddy did say he was taught how to play the piano by his guardian. Did that mean he was an orphan?
So many questions.
I looked over, seeing the current homeowner was cutting the grass with a peaceful air about him.
And so little answers.