The wind blew in Raina’s eyes but she didn’t flinch against it. She welcomed the chilling breeze as much as she welcomed the rain, the thunder, and the lightning. Something about a wilder sky and a restless climate helped her embrace her favorite combination of feelings – invigoration and peace. The whirling winds made her feel as though the universe was trying to communicate with her in the most tangible way it could and she stood still at the doorway with her face tilted upward to enjoy it. Smiling at the sight of the swaying trees and the leaves that flew freely through the air, she pretended nature was playing a game of hide and go seek with the passing breeze.
The sun had retired only minutes before Raina stepped out onto the porch with a fat mug of steaming coffee in her left hand and five thick newspapers clutched in her right. It was her evening ritual that always began at seven p.m. and only ended after each of her pack mates had chosen their night’s dinner from the delectable pages of the New York Times. The stories within provided the sustenance they would need to recharge their fleeing souls for another twenty-four hours. Raina was always the first to awaken to prepare their meals. She was the nurturer of their family and she played many important roles to the men she loved. To all four, she was a mother, a sister, and a daughter. To two of them, she was a wife and a lover.
Breathing in the scent of the coming rain, she willed herself to let go of her anxieties and inhale the freedom and independence that came attached to her time alone. Her sheer, blood red nightgown reached the cement, which felt cold and unforgiving beneath her bare feet. Walking toward their large round breakfast table, she giggled as the wind played with the lacy bottom hem of her silk gown and when the breeze transformed into another powerful gust, she laughed out loud as it blew her gown high above her waist. Instead of pulling it back down, she dropped the coffee and newspapers onto the glass and allowed the soft fabric to slap playfully at her face. Reaching her arms up toward the sky as she silently dared the universe to throw another gust her way, she dropped her head backwards with her eyes closed, and stood still in her position until the wind surrendered itself entirely and she was satisfied that she had won the mystical game. The short, precious thirty minutes she had by herself would come to an end once her family opened their eyes and she intended to enjoy every delicious moment of it.
Raina sat down on the chair reserved for her and looked out at the four empty seats before her. Tossing a newspaper toward each of them, she looked around thoughtfully at the dimming sky and willed her spirits to remain high. Trying her best to not focus on the disappointment of her losses, she watched as the last hint of light disappeared into darkness. It worried her pack that she rose sooner than she should but Raina felt the risk was worth the few moments of sun she allowed herself. Though she knew she was playing with literal fire, it helped her to stay positive in the face of constant darkness and worked to relieve the self-pity that threatened to bring her down.
Her days were spent in reluctant slumber and the forced late risings were the most painful reminder of the light she could never have again. The ability to bask in the