Jarek paced the floors of his bedroom, clenching and unclenching his fists. He had never experienced heartbreak as a human and he didn’t intend to start as an immortal but the truth was, he couldn’t get her out of his mind. There was no question about whether he wanted to join his pack on the roadtrip or not; the answer was a given. Fearless and always up for an adventure, he relished the idea of heading to New Orleans to seek out the almighty Lucius for some quality one on one time.
He had never been able to adapt to the idea of living as a pack despite the warm feelings he had for his family, and could think of no better way to extricate himself from his forced union than to seek out the headmaster himself. His desire to remain solo had nothing to do with his love for his family but everything to do with his innate need for independence and freedom. He felt a surge of relief at the possibility that he could one day live alone again and answer to nobody but himself. It was the one thing he missed the most about his human days and the one dream he had held tightly to every single day since his turning eighteen years before.
Jarek felt no dismay or fear over the possible dangers ahead. He knew there would be resistance along the way but confrontation and the threat of battle appeared on his list of pros rather than cons. He was beginning to experience a surge of hope that he might finally get his wish after all and receive a blessing from the League that forbid vampiric individuality and disentangle himself forever. Nothing would stop him from accompanying his pack on its mission. Jarek vowed to ensure the safety of his family before saying goodbye to them and walking away from the world that kept him bound.
His only issue of contention had to do with Raina and the consequences to their relationship. Jarek loved her, there was no doubt about it, but League laws prohibited them from coupling. The rules dictated that all females belong to their pack, and therefore, to every male within that pack. He knew that even if Lucius gifted him with the ability to travel afar and remain on his own, it was much less likely Raina would be allowed to go with him. He understood Dominic’s struggle when having made the choice of leadership over the woman he loved but knew he would have chosen differently. He would have found a way to make it work, even if it meant running for the rest of their days.
Whenever images of their separation intruded upon his thoughts, he felt an ache in his heart unlike he had ever known. Jarek had never felt the sting of a painful separation because he had never before known real love. As a human, he had been married for many years but had never experienced the agony and ecstasy that were attached to his feelings for Raina. The jealousy, the insecurity and the euphoria had exposed him to emotions he hadn’t known existed. Though he had been dutiful and loyal to Victoria, he had never been able to offer her the love that she had wanted and deserved; had never before been victim to the illogical passions he had only heard about. His marriage had been of such little significance that he hadn’t even sought out his widow to bid her a final farewell after his rebirth.
Jarek had never been bothered by his loose and selfish lifestyle. A loner since birth, he had figured it was his destiny to find fulfillment in the material gifts the world