Let’s talk about sex.
No, really. Let’s talk about sex but let’s talk about it in a different perspective. Let’s talk about it in terms of culturally. Let’s get into the core of what sex positivity really means in today’s society. I want to look at how sex positivity pans out through my own experiences as a young Womanist (or Black Feminist).
Sex positivity is the belief that one should not be shamed or judged for their sexual activity or for how they choose to express their sexuality. Sex positivity is the idea that sex is not taboo. It’s not inherently good or bad. It just and people should allow others to interpret it for themselves without shaming those whose relationship with sex differs from their own. It teaches people to understand that others have their own relationships with respect and we should respect each other’s journey.
I was introduced to the idea of sex positivity through my journey of understanding Black feminism and Womanism. Through my findings and personal experience, I realized that sex positivity is vital for the liberation of women. At the core root of misogyny is the belief that women are simply objects; that our bodies do not belong to us but are for public use and consumption; that we’re not human beings inherently worthy of respect unless we present ourselves in a “modest” way and even then, we still don’t receive the respect we deserve.
When a woman takes control of her body, she’s then chastised. If she exercises her agency against the grain of “modesty” then she’s called all kinds of a “hoe” and “slut.” This harmful beration fuels rape culture; a culture where actions, thoughts, and feelings normalize and excuse sexual assault which makes it hard for survivors to come forward about their assault.
Sex positivity fights against that. Sex positivity argues that women should be able to engage in sex however they want. If a woman wants to be “modest”, she can be. If a woman wants to be sexually active and show off her body, she has every right to do so. When we push the truth--that women are multi-faceted human beings who are worthy of respect regardless of fitting into “respectable”, patriarchal molds, we are slowly but surely breaking down the walls of sexism.
But let’s dig even deeper. What does sex positivity mean for Black women? How does sex positivity work when you complicate it with race? Why is it that when white women exercise their sexual agency, they’re marked as some sort of feminist revolutionary but when Beyoncé twerks, it’s “self-objectifying” and “anti-feminist?”
Sex positivity is vital for my Womanism* and Black feminism because I feel that when we remove the idea that women, specifically Black women, are objects meant for consumption and that respect for us is contingent on how we present ourselves, we break down the foundation that misogyny, but contextually, misogynoir--anti-black misogyny--is founded upon.
This book contains a series of short essays I’ve written that capture what I have come to understand regarding sex positivity and how it relates to Black women and Womanism. Follow me as I examine sex positivity that is inevitably complicated when race becomes a factor.
*Womanism is an ideology that focuses on how race, gender, and class impacts Black women. The term was coined by author Alice Walker in her book,