APPENDICES
Physical Abuse: hitting, slapping, shoving, burning, punching, pinching, kicking, pushing, holding, cornering, stabbing, choking, confinement, using or threatening to use a weapon, abandonment in a dangerous location, murder, etc.
Sexual Abuse: rape and other forced and unwanted sexual acts, refusing to use contraception and/or transmitting HIV and other STDs, forced prostitution, forced sexual acts with others, terminating a pregnancy by force, controlling reproductive decisions, forced pregnancy, etc.
Emotional and Verbal Abuse: yelling, humiliation, derogatory name-calling, threats (such as threatening to take or harm the children), intimidation, making the partner feel crazy, disturbing sleep, isolation from family, friends, and society, stalking, destroying objects, jealousy and
possessiveness, etc.
Financial Abuse: controlling all monetary resources, neglect (denial of essential needs such as food and healthcare), not allowing one to go to work or attend school, etc.
Post-conflict Domestic Violence
Feminist peace activists claim that for women the ‘oppressors’ are found among immediate family or lovers, and that the terror for women is the quite pervasive ordinary terror which happens in the home. In this view, not only is war part of women’s daily existence, but war, violence and women’s oppression all grow from the same root. Military institutions and states are inseparable from patriarchy.147
Because men are able to physically prove their manliness through war, soldiers have become a classic symbol of masculinity. The military has traditionally been an exclusively male sector. The historical exclusion of women has resulted in an extreme power imbalance between the “protectors” and the “protected.” Judith Stiehm argues that the greatest threat to women's existence "comes not from a vicious enemy, but from one's own protector".148
Women become increasingly vulnerable to DV in times of political instability such as conflict and post-conflict situations. This is due to the fact that men are more prone to using violence, as conflict is often triggered by and consists of male generated violence. Reports have demonstrated that cases of DV escalate drastically post-conflict. This was the case in East Timor, where 2002 statistics revealed that DV and other types of MVAW comprised 40% of all reported crimes.149
Numerous factors contribute to the increase in DV in post-conflict situations: the violence males have experienced, witnessed, and/or committed, the availability of weapons, increase in alcoholism, high unemployment rate, disability (such as being crippled or maimed), inadequate shelter and basic services, in addition to psychological trauma, including feelings of frustration, depression, emasculation, disempowerment, and altered gender roles where men now have to Demobilized male ex-combatants often manifest their frustration with reintegration into the community through reasserting their masculinity and control which often takes the form of DV or other outlets of violence such as joining (or rejoining) militias. Since post-conflict societies are often in the process of being rebuilt, the police, welfare, and judicial systems are frequently unavailable or inadequately prepared to provide prevention, protection, punishment, or rehabilitation programs in regard to DV.
Group B Female = 7, Male = 4, Total = 11
Group V Female = 17, Male = 1, Total = 18
DV Group totals = 24 Female, 5 Male, Total = 29/(26)*
Group M = Meditation teachers, Female = 5, Male = 8, Unknown = 1, Total = 13/(14)**
Total Female = 29, Total Male = 13, Total Unknown = 1, Total = 43
Optional Names of participating agencies:***
Group B:
Men Evolving Nonviolently
Emerge, Inc.
The House of Ruth Maryland
ManAlive Violence Intervention and Prevention Training Institute
Women's Resource Center
Project Pride/East Bay Community Recovery
Alternatives to Violence
Marin Abused Women's Services
Group V:
Next Door Solutions to Domestic Violence
A Safe Place
Tahoe Women's Services
Tri-Valley Haven
Su Casa – Ending Domestic Violence
MAITRI
DeafHope
Shalom Bayit
_____________
* RB6, RV15 and RV21 understood “mediation” in place of the word, “meditation,” and therefore those answers which do not apply will be omitted , similarly, any qualitative responses which apply will be included. Therefore, some totals for the RB group will be 10, whereas others will be 11, and similarly, totals for the RV group will be 16 or 18 and for the entire DV group either 26 or 29.
**RM30, is a psychologist involved in an alternative prison project, (not a meditation teacher) therefore, some of her questions have been omitted; thus at times the group total may be 13. Her questionnaire will be translated from Spanish.
***Names of agencies were optional and not all participants included their organization. Lists are not in any particular order. Please note that the individual's beliefs do not necessarily represent the agency.
Group M:
Angulimala
The Association of Happiness for All Mankind (AHAM)
Rime Buddhist Center
Central Valley Zen
Milwaukee Zen Center
Mid-America Buddhist Association
White Heron Sangha Prison Project
Vermont Zen Center
Human Kindness Foundation
Q1: “Do you work with DV Victims, Batterers, or both?”
Group B: 5 work solely with batterers, and 6 work with both batterers and victims.
Group V: 18 work with victims, though 1 has some experience and training in batterer intervention.
Group M: N/A
Q2: “Have you had any experience using meditation with victims, batterers
or both?”
Group B: YES = 2, NO = 4, SOME = 4
Group V: YES = 1, NO = 13, SOME = 2
DV Group Total: YES= 3, NO = 17, SOME = 6, TOTAL = 26 (RB6, RV21, & RV15 omitted).
Group M: N/A
Q2 Comments Group B:
RB1: YES - Relaxation exercise before group sessions.
RB4: YES - The San Francisco Sheriff's Department Resolve to Stop the Violence Project: 3 yrs. Good
RB: SOME - Working in “anger management” services, we have a module that talks about meditation and relaxations as being good tools to prevent angry thoughts and negative self-talk from cropping up. Mostly I have done these services with victims who are required to do anger management.
RB3: SOME - Very little. Just basic guided relaxation exercises.
RB9: SOME - Basically I used it as a somatic grounding exercise when people are feeling triggered or unsafe and did not call it meditation. There is a separate meditation at Project Pride that does not specifically address DV issues.
RB11: SOME - I have not used meditation as part of a program. When I have accompanied victims to testify in court, I have occasionally suggested that victims take a moment before the hearing to shut out everything around them and envision a calm, safe place. Then imagine themselves in the future, living their lives free of fear. I have also encouraged crisis line workers in training to take a moment of time to mentally transition from work to the rest of their lives through meditation. For Jewish crisis line workers who were having trouble leaving work at work, I suggested they place a mezuzah by the door of their office and not only kiss it with their finger tips, as a reminder of the protection they have while there an on the road, but also take a moment to meditate to emphasize the threshold between work and their personal lives.
Q2 Comments Group V:
RV22: YES- When I worked in the Transitional Shelter, we used simple forms of meditation in the children's group, particularly with our kids ages 9-13. They seemed to have a more difficult time focusing on issues in the groups and they enjoyed the peaceful time. It was very simple and had them do some guided imagery for about 5 minutes before a quiet reflection period of 3 minutes. Sharing followed. The children really responded to it and found it helpful when dealing with troubling or difficult times. I do not know if they continued the process after leaving the shelter.
RV12: SOME – I incorporated visualizations into children's violence prevention groups one summer. For example, children were asked to visualize a safe place, somewhere they could return again and again. Children also visualized golden balls of light descending down on them to fill them up with positive, happy energy. We began each group by focusing on our breathing and then entering into a visualization. Children were asked to then describe what they discovered in their meditations with art. These groups were not specified for victims of DV/SA, but it was assumed that a percentage of children were involved in DV/SA issues. I found that some children really liked the meditations and, of course, others could not keep still. The groups I worked with were very large, sometimes 30 or 40 kids and I believe that these numbers were not OK with the type of work we were doing.
RV27: SOME – We have used focused relaxation techniques before doing art projects and counseling sessions.
Q3: “Do you have any personal experience with meditation?”
Group B: YES = 2, NO = 5, SOME = 3
Group V: YES = 6, NO = 5, SOME = 5
DV Group Total: YES = 8, NO = 10, SOME = 8, TOTAL = 26 (RB6, RV21, & RV15 omitted).
Group M: N/A
Q3 Comments Group B:
RB1: YES - Took Vipassana meditation course in India
RB9: YES - Silent retreats and occasional sitting satsangs.
RB3: SOME - Again, very, very little.
RB11: SOME - I have learned some meditation through yoga.
Q3 Comments Group V:
RV12: YES – Vipassana, Chakra mediation, different types of visualization (safe places, angel work), So-Hum mantra meditation.
RV13: YES – I have done seditation when I was in recovery. [Possible typo, seditation = meditation]
RV17: YES – My personal prayer life.
RV27: YES – I have done guided meditation, and personal meditation.
RV28: YES – I have done meditation at home, during yoga, and in a karate class.
RV20: SOME – As part of a pain management program.
RV22: SOME – See above. It was taught to me by a colleague who was a MFT.
RV29: SOME – I have participated in some guided meditations but not many.
Q4: “Do you think it is possible to rehabilitate batterers?”
Group B: YES = 10, NO = 0, UNSURE = 1
Group V: YES = 13, NO = 1, UNSURE = 4
DV Group Totals: YES = 23, NO = 1, UNSURE = 5, TOTAL = 29
Group M: YES = 9, NO = 0, UNSURE = 3, No response = 2, TOTAL = 14
Participant Total: YES = 32, NO = 1, UNSURE = 8, No response = 2, TOTAL = 43
Q4 Comments Group B:
RB 6: YES - If victims can change, so can batterers.
RB11: YES - Rehabilitation may be too optimistic of a word, but I do believe that some people can learn to decrease how much they hurt and control others, as long as they are ready to do some heavy emotional lifting.
RB 2: UNSURE - With a definition of rehabilitation being, “the physical restoration of a sick or disabled person by therapeutic measures and reeducation to participation in the activities of a normal life within the limitations of the person's physical disability,” it is not true that batterers are rehabilitated, but are HABILITATED. Abusers are not sick or disabled, but are making a choice to harm their partners and family. In a sense, abuser education serves to teach batterers methods of acting respectfully toward a partner. As to the general concept behind your question, Emerge DOES believe that abusers can change, but they have to make a choice and a conscious choice to do so, and it is hard work and many don't want to put forward that effort.
Q4 Comments Group V:
RV12: YES – I believe everyone, if he or she is willing, is capable of anything.
RV17: YES – I think it's possible but not common.
RV22: YES – First, there needs to be a sincere acknowledgment of the abusive behavior. Then, a sincere willingness to explore the reasons for the behavior and the ways to alter behavior. Many batterers I have met (both personally and professionally) are not at a place where they are comfortable to admit the problem or the need to change. When confronted or asked to explain, they usually feel very threatened and would go on the defensive. I do not think our current system (both professionally and as a society) allows for a proper ability to change. There is a lot of shaming involved. Furthermore, most people who gain access to “Batterers Treatment Programs” are court-ordered. The sheer idea of being ordered to go to counseling is counterproductive and instills in the person a rejection of the idea.
RV28: YES – Many survivors think that they can “fix” the problem with their batterers. We try to encourage them to focus on themselves instead of trying to focus on their batterers. I think that rehabilitation can happen only if batterers are sincerely motivated to change themselves and learn better communication, better treatment of others bodies and emotions. It is a process that takes many years.
RV29: YES – I believe that it is doable but the batterer has to sincerely want to change and it takes a lot of work.
RV15: NO – There is very little if no information as to batterers never battering because we would have to follow them until death.
Q4 Comments Group M:
RM40: This is not an appropriate question within the Buddhist framework; same as with
questions 5,6,7,8,9, and 10.
RM32: YES – Anyone (including murderers and other violent offenders, sex offenders, drug dealers, etc.) who experiences the true Self, the transcendental Awareness of pure Being, becomes free from the conditioned mind which has led the inmate to indulge in various forms of aberrant behavior.
RM34: UNSURE – I have not studied this I've heard anecdotally that it is very difficult. My own experience with delinquent adolescents, jail and prison inmates leads me to believe that the system itself teaches them to be manipulative and to “talk the talk” and also institutionalizes them and robs them of the ability to stand up so it is doubly difficult to truly change.
RM35: YES – Yes of course, the Buddhist view is that all of us have minds that are infinitely malleable.
RM38: YES – I do not ask the men and women with whom I work the reason for their imprisonment, and although I believe that change is possible and, indeed, observe positive change, I have no guarantee that this change will survive their return to the world “outside.”
RM40: UNSURE – Some, maybe, all? Maybe not.
RM42: YES – Depends on how it's done.
RM43: (no response) I guess that depends upon what rehabilitation means. We don't really try to rehabilitate, or at least we don't really relate to that word. Can batterers become saints? Yes.
Q5: “Do you think that meditation would be an effective way to transform
batterers?”
Group B: Agree = 0, Tend to Agree = 2, Unsure = 5, Tend to Disagree = 2, Disagree =1
Group V: Agree = 1, Tend to Agree = 3, Unsure = 7, Tend to Disagree = 4, Disagree =1
DV Group Total: Agree = 1, Tend to Agree = 5, Unsure = 12, Tend to Disagree = 6,Disagree =
2, TOTAL = 26 (RB6, RV21, & RV15 omitted).
Group M: Agree = 8, Tend to Agree = 4, Unsure = 1, Tend to Disagree = 0,Disagree =0,
No response =1, Total = 14
Q5 Comments Group B:
RB2: Tend to Disagree – I think it can be a good way to teach self-care, possibly, but could only be useful as a combined approach along with holding abusers accountable for their behavior.
RB4: Disagree - Meditation doesn't get to the crucial belief system that drives enforcement of control.
Q5 Comments Group V:
RV12: Agree – With meditation, we establish a stronger connection with our higher selves. Our higher selves have every intention of helping us discover our true paths towards enlightenment.
RV22: Tend to Agree – I think it might help with focus, but I am too unfamiliar with it to make an accurate assessment.
RV27: Tend to Agree – I think it could be used as part of a holistic approach to batterer's intervention. There are so many paths to healing and accountability. I think meditation could work very well for some people if they are willing to partake in it.
RV16: Unsure - I think it might work, it gives the batterers time to think and relax.
RV13: Tend to Disagree – The technique of meditation is good to learn and teach them to calm down, but I believe that some pattern changing and education are also necessary.
RV14: Tend to Disagree – Definitely not by itself.
RV17: Tend to Disagree – I think meditation can be a valuable tool when work with anyone in need of healing, but I think the primary work with batterers needs to focus on accountability for their actions and challenging their beliefs about their right to control their partners.
RV18: Tend to Disagree – Definitely not as a sole means of rehabilitation. Using meditation as one tool for batterers as part of a comprehensive program would be beneficial.
RV28: Disagree – It is easy for batterers to fake sincere interest in trying to change. It's also difficult to prove that they are meditating when they claim to be. Some batterers may have neurological damage so severe that they are unable to meditate deeply....this neurological damage can be a result of chronic trauma at an earlier age.
Q5 comments Group M:
RM37: Tend to Agree - Meditation alone is not enough, peer group anger management and counseling are needed.
RM38: Tend to Agree – Meditation may be a useful addition to a broad program of rehabilitation for batterers. I'm not qualified to speak to other components of such a program.
Q6: “Do you know of any organization that is using meditation as a form of batterer's intervention?”
Group B: YES = 1, NO = 7, UNSURE = 2
Group V: YES = 1, NO = 15, UNSURE = 0
DV Group Total: YES = 2, NO = 22, UNSURE = 2, TOTAL = 26 (RB6, RV21, & RV15 omitted).
Group M: YES = 1, NO = 11, UNSURE = 0, No response = 2, TOTAL = 14
Q6 Comments Group B:
RB2: YES – Emerge discusses self-care issues, and would suggest that as a part of working to be respectful, but only encourages abusers to take care of themselves as opposed to specifically teaching them how to do so.
RB3: UNSURE – I know programs that use guided relaxation techniques.
RB11: UNSURE - I believe that MAWS' ManKind WomanKind use a form of meditation.
RB5: NO – ACT uses components of meditation, has been suggested for people with anger problems.
RB9: NO - As you mentioned in your email – in prisons, but not sure if around DV issues.
Q6 Comments Group V:
RB20: YES – I believe Resolve to Stop the Violence (San Francisco Sheriff's Dept. program) uses meditation in their work with batterers.
Q6 Comments Group M:
RM41: (No response) – Not sure what you mean by this.
RM42: YES – IPP [Insight Prison Project]
Q7: “Do you think anything else would be needed to complement meditation in order to rehabilitate batterers to not engage in partner violence?”
Group B: YES = 8, NO = 0, UNSURE = 2
Group V: YES = 14, NO = 0, UNSURE = 2
DV Group Total: YES = 22, NO = 0, UNSURE = 4, TOTAL = 26 (RB6, RV15, & RV21 omitted in totals).
Group M: YES = 9, NO = 0, UNSURE = 2, No response = 2, TOTAL = 13
Q7 Comments Group B:
RB1: YES – Meditation alone won't do it.
RB2: YES – Stressing accountability, teaching respectful communication, incorporating parenting education, defining harmful behaviors.
RB4: YES – A belief system change approach that validates and helps men change the learning process men went through to expect to have authority and use force to enforce it.
RB5: YES – Accountability for actions; empathy for victims; communication skills; model of equality for relationships.
RB8: YES – Individual or group work focused on batterer accepting responsibility for his/her actions.
RB9: YES – Mediation plus some sort of awareness practice similar to Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT) and psychoeducational.
RB11: YES – A soul-searching and practical set of workshops which require that batterers recognize their reasons for battering—it is a way to get their needs met, a way which is not healthy for them or their victims, and a way which is quietly accepting in our society, but which is also often illegal. There is no way to know if someone who is using meditation as their only form of rehabilitation is actually going to be less violent. While they must ultimately be accountable to themselves, they would need to check in with an authority figure to mark their progress or lack thereof.
RB7: UNSURE – I do not have enough information to answer that question, but am open to learning more!
Q7 Comments Group V:
RB12: YES – Therapy, to help the batterer deal with what comes up from them during meditation. Group excursions overseas to Buddhist countries? Just a thought. Traveling works wonders to open a person up to his/her positive potential as a human being.
RB13: YES – Education, pattern changing and therapy to help them understand why they batter.
RB14: YES – Education, arrest as a swift and certain consequence of probation violations.
RB17: YES – As stated above, I think batterer's intervention needs to focus on accountability.
RB18: YES – Domestic Violence education, anger management, education on healthy relationships, individual counseling, group counseling.
RB20: YES – Group counseling and education.
RB21 (YES) – (Understood “mediation, not meditation) Intensive therapy, need to see the root of their violent behaviors and alternatives to reacting with violence.
RB22: YES – I think it would require a host of things including meditation. A list of rules allowing for open expression, a safe place for both batterers and counselors, and many others that I believe are out of my realm of understanding (meaning my education is not up to that level yet – not that they don't exist).
RB23: YES – Self-Esteem – I often hear men in groups make statements like, “I didn't even care about myself, how was I going to care about how she felt.”
RB24: YES – Anger Management.
RB26: YES – Education, and batterer accountability is a must for any reform to take place.
RB27: YES – Yes, I believe it could be part of comprehensive advocacy and tailored to fit the need of the individual.
RB28: YES – See my answer to #4. [Motivation to change...better communication...better treatment of others bodies and emotions...]
Q7 Comments Group M:
RM32: YES – Meditation is a broad term. At AHAM, meditation generally means to turn one's consciousness inward to the peace and freedom of the true Self and the most direct mean for doing so is through the practical application of Self-Inquiry.
RM33: YES – Creating a non-judgmental, loving and supportive