IV. The Beginning of Something New
11.
It was Sunday evening and Rachel hadn’t heard from David yet. She wanted to call him but after Kimberley told her what had happened at the party she was too embarrassed. She was hoping he would show up for work like he had done last time but around 7.30pm she got a text from him
Hello. I won’t be able to finish the work at your place. I can try to find someone to take over if you want.
She finally got the courage to call him. He was a private person and for some reason that she couldn’t quite get something was holding him back. So Rachel knew that if she didn’t want to lose him she’d have to be the one making a move.
She called him once, twice, and it wasn’t until the third attempt that he picked up. He didn’t say a word but Rachel could hear him breathing heavily on the other side of the line.
“Please don’t do that” – she started – “I know I messed up last night, but that’s not who I am.”
“You own me no explanations” – he said calmly. He’s voice didn’t sound mad, it was more disappointment – “don’t worry I’ll find someone to replace me fast.”
“I don’t want someone else” – she moaned. He didn’t respond – “Can we at least talk?”
“There’s nothing to talk about. All I need to know is if you want me to find someone to replace me” – he insisted.
“I’ve told you I don’t.” “Okay, fine then.”
The silence was killing her – “I’ll try to call you again in a few days.”
“Whatever you want. Bye.”
Rachel tried to get her head around it. First came the urge to apologize because she felt like she had betrayed him. But the more she would think about it the more confused she would get. David had done everything to pull himself away from her. Apart from that one kiss David was very clear that he had no intentions of developing a romantic relationship with Rachel. So why was he behaving like that? He had seen a side of Rachel that he didn’t know and that she wished now he had never met, but was it so bad that he had to pull himself away like that?
Rachel had to talk to someone. She wanted to call Dee, she might help. The thing was she was David’s friend too and Rachel had realized that they had a very special relationship. She didn’t want to put her in the middle of it. Rachel had not told her about the kiss either. She didn’t want to have to admit she had been rejected.
She called her anyway. She needed something to keep her distracted. She didn’t plan to talk about it, but Dee easily noticed something was wrong (unconsciously Rachel knew she would).
“Do you want to talk about it?” – she asked. She wanted to. Badly! – “No” - she lied.
Dee didn’t believe her – “Are you sure?” “I just… I messed up.”
“Go on…”
“I did something stupid and I think I’ve hurt someone along the way” – she explained not giving too many details.
“You think?”
“Well, I’m not sure if the person is hurt, mad, disappointed, or if he even cares!”
He. Rachel tried to keep it vague but she had already let that detail slip. Dee pretended not to notice.
“To be honest I’m not really sure what’s happening” – Rachel confessed.
“That’s the first thing you need to figure out” – Dee said patiently.
“I wish I knew how.”
“Have you talked to that someone?” “I’ve tried…“
“Maybe it’s too soon. Maybe you have to wait a bit before you try again. Sometimes people need time to process.”
Without asking too many question or speaking a lot Dee always managed to say so much.
“Yes, maybe you’re right, but what if I can’t?”
“You can’t force someone to open up to you. but I find that most of the time people just need a little push, and if that person is really that altered with what happened I would say it’s because it matters.”
“Thanks, honey” – Rachel said from her heart – “You always get it.”