13.
They cuddled on the couch forgetting about the world outside. For the first in almost two months they had finally gave into their feelings and it felt so right. They both knew they had to talk but neither of them wanted to ruin that moment.
Rachel was laying on top him resting her head on his chest. With his left arm around her he fondled her hair gently. With the other hand he played with her fingers. She could feel his heartbeat, he was peaceful now.
“We can’t do this…” - he finally said. She sighed.
“Sweetheart, I don’t like it more than you do, but we have to face it.” – he insisted.
She knew he was right. She took a deep breath and sat down.
“Okay, let’s talk about it” – she had a feeling this was not going to be an easy talk.
“We can’t be together…” - he started. “Stop saying that!” – she supplicated. “It’s true.”
“Why? Why does it have to be like that? Why can’t you even consider it?” – she asked him.
It was hard enough to convince himself they’d have no chance together, David wasn’t sure if he would be strong enough to convince her too.
“Come on Rachel you know I’m right. We have to be rational.”
“I don’t want to be rational. I want you” – she argued – “and unless you don’t want to be with me I don’t understand why we shouldn’t be together.”
“You’re honestly telling me that after all I’ve told you about my life, about me, you didn’t change your mind?”
“Change my mind about what? I don’t care about your past, babe. I like you for who you are. I probably respect you even more now that I know all that you’ve been through and how you still managed to become the wonderful person you are today.”
He had imagined different scenarios on how Rachel would react when she found out the truth about him but not in a thousand years was he expecting it to be like this.
“Remember how it was with Chase” – David told her.
“What?” – now she was confused - “why are you even bringing that up? It’s a totally different situation.”
“I know. I’m just saying that I remember how crazy you told me it was. Everyone talking about your life. People making up stories about you, pushing you down…”
“So?” – she asked.
“So, what do you think it will happen once they find out you’re dating an ex-drug dealer with an alcoholic history?”
She was starting to get his point.
“I don’t care” – Rachel said calmly – “I don’t. I’ve tried too hard to please everybody. It’s never going to happen. So I don’t want to waste anything else in my life because of that.”
“You told me that things were finally settling down and that it felt good. You don’t need this publicity now” – he insisted.
“Do you want to know what I need? I need people to stop making decisions for me!” – she freaked out. Then calming herself down added – “I need people to see me as a regular girl. I need someone that cares about me. I need to be loved. That’s what I need.”
David looked at her. She was right. Behind that famous, perfect and gorgeous woman there was a lonely girl desperately trying to find love.
“I get what you’re saying” - he said – “and you deserve all that, but sweetheart, I just don’t think this is it” – it killed him to have to say those words.
Rachel didn’t say anything else. She liked him. She was willing to put up with all the press frenzy, but she couldn’t force him to have a relationship with her. She tried to understand his point of view. For the last two months they had been seeing each other almost every day. They had talked about a lot of stuff and even shared private feelings, but still until that day he had kept his past secret. If it had been so hard for him to open up to her it had to be terrifying to imagine his life being excruciated in the public eye.
“I’m being selfish” – she admitted – “this is my life, I chose it. I mean, not the gossiping and all that, but I knew it would be a consequence, but you didn’t. I understand that you don’t want that for your life.”
She was being honest. She really understood him. A lot of times she had wished nobody knew who she was. It was ironic how most the time she had to worry about people only getting close to her because of her fame and this time it was the opposite. Being famous was becoming a curse.
“It’s not about that Rachel” – it wasn’t. He was sure he wouldn’t exactly enjoy all the attention, but he was genuinely worried about her.
Rachel was facing down. Defeated. He lightly pulled her chin up to face her – “Think about it….”
“You’re thinking too much” – she moaned.
“You’re not thinking at all” – he said tenderly – “Sweetheart, I know it feels good. I wish things were different too, but even if we decided to give it a try in four months I’ll be gone.”
“It doesn’t have to be like that.”
“You know it does. I have Lea back in Portugal, and you have your life and work here. It wouldn’t work.”
“Why can’t we just enjoy the time we have and think about all that when the time comes?” – Rachel asked. She knew it wasn’t going to be easy, but she didn’t want to spend the rest of her life wondering how it could have been. She wanted at least to give it a chance.
“Why are you willing to face all the media and all it’s going to come with it for something that might not work?” – he admired her. Hayley had broken his heart and left definitive marks, but in spite all that had happened with Chase, Rachel somehow still manage to be open to love.
“There are never guarantees in love. I agree with you, babe, the odds are against us, but maybe we can make it work. Trust me, I’m aware of all that’s going to come, but I’m willing to go through all of it, to try. The question is, are you?” – she asked looking him in the eyes.
“I’m just trying to protect you” – he explained – “I don’t want to mess up your life.”
“What if nobody knew?” – she said suddenly.
“What?”
“We could keep it private. We don’t need to tell anyone. We can give it a try. See how it goes without having to deal with all that pressure.”
He smiled. She had found a way around it – “Let’s do that” – he agreed.
They kissed passionately and Rachel gently nibbled his full lips. David pulled her towards him and slowly passed his hands over her body caressing every inch of it.
He whispered tender words in her ear and she let him know how much she wanted him. Rachel wrapped her arms around his neck and he kindly picked her up. Carrying her into the bedroom David laid her on the bed and looked her in the eyes. With his fingers he appreciated the beautiful features of her face. The deep brown eyes, her mile-long eyelashes, her gorgeous smile, and those sexy dimples, everything about her was perfect.
Pulling off his shirt David laid on top of her sliding his hands under her top. Grabbing her perfectly toned thighs he kissed her stomach smoothly. Rachel rolled over and sat on top of him. Running her hands through is bare torso she kissed his chest. She felt his hands on her back while his strong arms embraced her. He kissed her shoulders as she felt herself melting and their bodies becoming one.
“I don’t ever want to leave this room” – she told him afterwards, snuggled in his arms and resting her head on his chest.
Her alabaster skin contrasted nicely with the dark chocolate tone of his body.
He kissed her forehead rubbing her shoulder gently with the tips of his finger – “If only we could…”