Coming towards end of the text it is essential to answer the classic question, in spite of have such simple and clear rules of Human Decision Making, why do we always feel a stretch between what your Heart and Brain says. Listening to your Heart means decision making is guided by Emotions (what is the current Need to be satisfied), whereas listening to Brain means decision making is driven by Know-How of how things work, doing what is necessary as per Individual theory to achieve what is Desired. Let us summarise the entire process of Human Decision Making, it has a target and a process to achieve it.
Target is the Hierarchy of Need, however there are two types of hierarchies; one is natural order or the way nature has designed us (we have been discussing that throughout this text) and other is the one implied by learning, traditions, culture of those around us (their understanding of how to be ‘happy’). I will elaborate with an example; see if you can relate to a college boy who was in love with his batch mate, but was asked to focus on studies to make Natural hierarchy of Needs is not adhered to here. Esteem Need of having Respect from society is given more importance than basic Need (of course there are many more Needs at work in this whole scenario, but the focus Need is highlighted in this example). From another perspective it might even be looked at parents running for their personal Esteem Need. Estimating accurately what’s at play here would need more details about the situation, however, this perspective can give line of thought to be pragmatic in accepting what is taught and aligning it with natural hierarchy.
Process of achieving the target (Individual theory) has to be with intent to Manage Emotions and not Control them. Ever wondered why few parents teach their kids that boys don’t cry. One should not suppress negative Emotions rather should teach to accept their presence and give them what they need.
Usually the natural tendency insists on what is called as listening to Heart, but often the learning from society around, traditions, etc. may not be in sync in with what actually & naturally works for Human Beings (Individual theory being inconsistent with reality), often referred to as listening to Brain. Also it may not be practical to always listen to Heart as Esteem Need is strongly associated with getting Respect from people, gaining Credibility to give them what is Desired by them. However, listening to Heart for sure brings peace and joy.