letting and al manner of bodily functions. In view of your 6
Charismatic Female….
by Francis Chadwick
Dear Desdemona,
I must tell you about Agatha. She has been a devout member of Agatha’s arms were raised with their usual vigour but her con-the Fifth Avenue Charismatic Church for as long as I can centration was also directed sideways rather than heaven-remember. Her hands have been raised in praising the Lord wards. The two gaunt gentlemen caught her eye and her heart since the age of three, though they have also accomplished raced within her as one pair of eyes caught hers. Agatha’s red many other less devotional achievements.
hair gave her away. His furtive glances gave an extra sense of purpose and a renewed impetus to her hand waving. For the Her flat chested childish figure has matured from the
first time in her devotional life she felt spirit filled with a stately curves of her youthfulness to the ample bosom, and charisma of overwhelming proportions.
even more ample posterior that now accompanies her on al her travels. To her grief, romance, other than the romance of her Like many congregations these days the time came for
energetic hymnody, including her spirited rendering of Onward them to exchange the peace, which was accompanied by a
Christian Soldiers, has passed her by. In her time she made wide variety of emotional contact; from the stately shaking of a approaches to several previous ministers, but their devotion to hand, to people advancing upon one another, arms out-the Lord always prevented them from acknowledging her in any stretched, in the offer of a warm passionate embrace.
other capacity than that of a faithful member of the congregation.
Agatha and her friend advanced towards the two stony
faced, rather embarrassed gentlemen, putting on their warmest She then found employment as a waitress at Dunking
summer smiles, even though they were experiencing the dank-Doughnuts, where the management, viewing her ample pro-est September since records began! They were ardently regret-portions, hired a designer label organisation to craft her a uniting the omission of winter cuddles from their description on the form in the shape of their chief product, with a little jam gently Internet. But was it not after all their plain duty to welcome leaking from the bite on her left buttock, and peppered all over strangers to the Fifth Avenue Charismatic Church?
with silver sparkles to resemble a newly sugared specimen of their best selling line. Despite her valiant efforts no male The two professional gentlemen were invited to join
customer so much as pinched her mouth bitten posterior, nor them and their fumbling hands were guided through the hymn dipped his finger in the leaking jam.
books, but such tactile fingering as there was aroused no emotions within the hearts of their would be gallants. Their Down in spirits she began to pray fervently to the Lord, attempted hymnody was halting, tuneless, and lacking all verve whom hitherto she had only praised with uplifted arms. One and vivacity. The Fifth Avenue Charismatic Church was just not quality with which her membership of the Fifth Avenue Charis-their scene!
matic Church had equipped her most generously was the ability to speak in a loud loquacious manner; in her case not so Later the gentleman who had caught Agatha’s eye
much ‘speaking in tongues’ but speaking with her tongue! Her suggested that they all dunked a doughnut for light relief.
fellow worshippers often couldn’t get a word in sideways let Dunking Doughnuts had been their favourite dunking den for alone edgeways! She possesses very few edges! And now for some time. Unbeknown to her, Agatha, her red hair, and her some time the Lord’s ears were relentlessly, continuously and jam leaking half-bitten posterior, had been under close scrutiny rumbustiously bombarded with her plaintive requests.
for several months. Doughnuts duly dunked, despatched, and delivered to their destiny, she found herself sitting on a damp Agatha shared her ample proportions with a close friend. park bench being assaulted by the professional passion of a Recently they together mastered the intricacies of the Inter-youth and middle age that had never known such freedoms, net .Their single fingers stumbled across the keyboard, slowly and she began looking forward to a season of winter cuddles, dabbing at the il -assorted letters of the alphabet to concoct an metaphorically throwing her heavily entangled arms high in the entry in the Lonely Hearts column.
air, and praising the Lord with an exuberance she had never before experienced in al of her 51 years.
“Two, not too devout, but vivacious, passionate, and
sensual y charismatic Ladies, would like to meet tall profession-With much love from
al, assertive, honest, sincere, passionate gentlemen for summer smiles.” After mature consideration they had omitted