Chapter five, A horrible cold and a missing visitor.
All this excitement and the opening of our visitor day must have had a deliberative affect on my health because I woke up the following day with a tremendous cold and a heavy headache, so bad that Tom called down to Dulcie that he thought I was dying.
"Nonsense Tom, his Grace has a habit, one which I strongly disprove of, a reason to stay in bed for a day and coincidently be served hand and foot by us all, well especially by you and Maise, I'm coming up." Dulcie, and indeed she did come up and I'm pleased to say she finally realised my true state for now my nose was streaming and my face was flushed.
"A hot sweet lemon drink and no visitors Tom please." Then turning to me. “Absolutely no Nicolas Robin or Fig so I'm taking the lolly jar away so there will no temptation to come up and visit!"
'They come to see me to hear my tales and not for the sweets Madam!'
"Don't you Madam me with your nose streaming muck, you need to clean yourself up my man. So where did you collect this infamous cold, in truth Heir I've never seen you in such bad state, so you stay in bed, I'll get a bottle and Maise will bring you up a large glass of hot lemon."
Before I could answer she had swept from the room so Tom held out a wad of tissues with which I could dry myself.
'I prefer cotton handkerchiefs Tom if you don't mind.' As I snorted into them and placed them in the paper bag he had laid on the bed.
Then I remember one of the visitors yesterday, a grey bearded oaf short in stature sidled up beside me and asked me in a quavering voice who the bloody duke was, worst of all he had snot in both his nasal passages. I replied.
'He be not here probably counting all his pennies. You know dukes have a propensity to hide their wealth, sneaky bee's the lot of them. How much did you pay to get into here?'
"A fiver."
'Bloody hell that was cheap.' Said I, 'Still I expects he's hunched over his desk counting that fiver as we speak.'
"It were only a single note I gave."
'Well he's probably counting it over and over again, amazing how they make it last.'
"You work here?"
'Sometimes'.
"What you do?"
'Lounge about mostly and chuck people out who have unhealthy dispositions.'
"Like what?"
'That nose of yours.' I think he got the point but not before the oaf coughed all over my second best tweed. I heard a polite cough behind me, must have been Finlay admonishing me, after all, nose or not, the man was a paying guest. It was then that I decided to ask Robroy to draw up a notice forbidding entry into the house for those obviously suffering from colds or flu. Too late for me now as I drank Maise's glass of sweet lemon with definitely a taste of honey.
Some hours the doctor called up.
"What might be the problem your Grace?"
'Your bedside manner and your inability to remember my wife's comments, she did ring I presume?'
"Indeed, my we are a bit testy this morning." I glowered.
'So I have a vicious cold so what do you propose?'
"Lemon and honey and solid rest in bed."
'Already done that, so why it not working?'
"Give it a day or two and be patient, take an aspirin and a glass of sherry to improve your temper."
'Tom throw him out please. Then find me the aspirin.' Exit flushed Doctor.
Later the boys came up via the kitchen stairs so avoiding Dulcie and Tom, by the time they all scrambled in, the room was full of concerned little faces.
"Thought you were dying Uncle?" Jarvis the elder Aussie lad.
"Yes heard Cook say you was croaking like a cane toad." Brigan the brother.
'Were, and toads don't croak.'
Then Robroy came between them.
"Not one of your better days then Grand-papa, those hankies are sodden I'll get you some fresh."
'Thank you but use those plastic gloves and take them over to the sink and open up the hot tap then leave them. You children are rather naughty, her Grace explicitly told me none of you were allowed here. What I've got is very catching.'
"But Mother has received a letter to say your Aunt Vi is coming." This from Tommy.
Aunt Vi was Tommy's grandmother, why the Aunt word?
'Tommy and you Jess, have you fallen out with your grandmother?'
"No Mother has." This from Jess.
So here am I bed ridden and another family problem arising. Then I heard Toms heavy footsteps approaching.
'Away you lot, quickly back you go.' I had pointed to the back stairs and they all vanished. The last was Robroy's hand in a waving motion as the door closed and my bedroom one opened.
Tom was not to be fooled, he had that knowing look over his face. But he did not say a word. Tom has become an important friend since I employed him as a valet, as previously written I had had others who were either indolent or plain nasty so Tom was a refreshing change. He and Maise I would defend with my life. I always wished they would both hit it off so to speak, but alas as yet they were merely friends in the service to an old grumpy Duke now snivelling into a monstrous handkerchief and ready to have another blasted sneeze. Ten o clock and gates opening time for more visitors hopefully without colds. So I lay back and snuggled into my bed under the counterpane and then began to sweat, I suppose that was the whole idea of Dulcie's hot bottle, bless her.
I must have slept for two or three hours and no I did not feel any better but that hacking cough had stopped so I raised myself up and decided to venture to the window. Over on the far right I could just see the new car park my two boys had installed with a fair number already there, cars I mean. To my extreme left I saw some of my great nephews playing cricket on the lawn, then in the distance lay the Cafe and tea rooms. I wondered what my twelve year old grandson was doing when all a sudden he was there with his young sister in a pram munching on a bun and guiding her along the path to the castle. Then they began to run at first hesitantly but gradually increasing their pace until they reached the steps and Robroy lifted his sister in his arms and carried her up those blasted stairs. I returned back to bed and I presumed they were heading up to my bedroom. They burst into the room a few minutes later.
"Cash stolen from the safe!"
'Now take a few deep breaths Robroy and you did not carry your sister up my bedroom stairs, they are difficult to walk the best of times.' Sharp cough from me and a shake of his head from him now almost recovered from his run.
'What cash?'
"Cafe's cash the strong box opened like a tin can!"
I'm not surprised I suggested to Mr and Mrs Evans to buy a proper safe but the female of this partnership said her old orange coloured metal bread bin with attached latch would do nicely thank you. Well apparently it did very nicely to the thief.
'Any ides who?' he indistinctly knew I was thinking of the Anderton lads but he shook his head.
"They've changed their ways but I'll ask them to help me, its my grandparents livelihood!"
'I doubt that, but I guess you could try, Leave the baby in the pram with your mother then off you go and carry out your investigation, but I suggest you ask your grandparents to ring the police sergeant in the village before you subject the box to minute inspection.'
"How did you know I was going to look at the box Grand-papa?" I just nodded but thankfully Tom came is just in time to gather the baby whose name I had quite forgotten, must ask Edith again. Robroy shot out downstairs relieved of his little sister.
He was back within the hour.
'And.' said I dragging myself up against the bed head.
"Seems it was a broken catch in the kitchen, and some spilt flower by cook gave a fair impression of the thief. Apparently a child s foot size."
Naturally the Anderton's were clear but there was more to follow.
"The Sergeant acknowledged a Leslie Thomas might be the culprit."
'He knows all the shoe sizes of every child?'
"Not him but Tom Anderton ventured a name and the sergeant just nodded."
'Poor lad caught by his own reputation.'
"What Grand-papa?"
'Never mind, hung drawn and quartered before a trial.'
"Well I expect the sergeant will visit his parents first, he being only nine."
'Nine!'
"Yes grand-papa the kitchen window was one of those narrow ones at the top of the main one."
'And I suppose you deducted.....'
"Indeed." said the boy wonder. Anyhow some days later the money was recovered, the boys backside was whacked by his embarrassed father, and the Evans bought a strong safe which they had screwed into the concrete floor. I admit to a brief thought passing my mind, had it been one of our children in a lark, so I was re leaved when the truth came out and Robroy got a double pear drop for his service though I suspect he did even better from his grand parents in the Cafe, though he did not let on to me, just accepted his sweets as perfect recompense for a job well done.