Chapter 9: Helligan And High Winds
The next morning the weather was bright and clear. Joe awoke, washed, dressed and went into the kitchen for breakfast. Bridget was there as always, with the inevitable tea pot. Joe wondered if he could broach the subject of the Lugnasadh Games with her so he cleared his throat and started with:
"I've heard about these games coming up soon. Does everyone go?"
Bridget sat herself down and looked across at Joe.
"Pretty much everyone, yes. Why would you be asking a thing like that?"
"Oh, just curious. What goes on there?"
"Games," she said. "People competing. What else would you expect at something called the games?"
"Good point," admitted Joe. "Are there prizes? Trophies for the winners?"
"Ah no to be sure. Just the satisfaction of winning."
"So no one ever cheats to win, then."
Bridget looked appalled, and angry.
"Fancy asking a thing like that!" she exclaimed. "What kind of creatures do you think we are?"
"Sorry, sorry, just wondering, no offence meant.," said Joe.
Bridget humphed and waddled out of the kitchen, clearly annoyed.
Oh dear, thought Joe. Now I've done it.
He was saved from further embarrassment by Tallin arriving at the house.
"Well, me boyo, what are we going to be doing next?" asked the elf.
Joe thought for a moment then said, "Let's have another look at that list of competitors. The guy yesterday said something about his wife. Now, that might suggest family involvement. A son, perhaps, or a brother."
"Ah now, you may have something there," agreed the little man, "that's a good point, that is, to be sure."
So Tallin took out the list he'd obtained and read out the names on it. It was far too tiny for Joe to read in his present size. Even with a magnifying glass he'd have had trouble, as he didn't understand the written Elven script.
"So, anything strike you as odd?" he asked.
"Hmmm. Hard to say," sighed the elf. "No one named Florendel anyway."
"But if it was a brother, say, of the wife, he wouldn't be called that, would he?"
"Ah begorrah aren't you the man? Sure and he wouldn't at all."
"So how do we find out what her name was before she married into money."
"We ask at the records department o' course," the elf replied. At the Elf information and advice building."
“Right. Ok, then, let's go."
They made their way to the building in question, Joe now shrunk down to elf size, more or less.
Behind the large wooden desk in the marble entrance hall sat an attractive elven female receptionist. Tallin asked her where they needed to go to inspect the records they needed: birth, marriage, and death. The receptionist told them to go to the third floor and ask the receptionist there. So off they went, up wide marble staircases, up and up until they reached the third floor.
They they quickly found the BMD records receptionist at a somewhat smaller desk. Tallin asked her to point them in the direction of the marriage records, if she would be so kind. The little female came out from behind her desk and told them to follow her.
She walked past row upon row of shelving, packed with ledgers. Joe was pleased to see that these records were in good order, tidily stacked. Clearly with a female in charge things got done a bit more logically. He couldn’t imagine this female engaging in the kind of mayhem he’d seen back at the Elf Centre. She looked far too sensible. Pretty too.
Joe stopped himself thinking along those lines. He wasn’t missing his wife that much after all. But when all was said and done he was only human. And a man at that. And from what he’d seen of Tallin it seemed to be common in males of other species too. Still, he needed to concentrate on the task at hand and not the attractions of the little female elf walking ahead of them.
When she stopped and pointed to the shelving they wanted, they thanked her but waited until she’d gone back to her desk before searching for the names they had in mind. It wouldn’t have been a good idea to let anyone know what they were looking for.
They found the Florendel name easily, in fact too easily. There were loads of ledgers bearing the name Florendel.
“Right,” said Joe. “What’s his first name?”
“Ah, now then. Would that be the father’s name you’d be meaning?”
“Yes. That’s the marriage we need to investigate.”
“Ah. Right you are. Now let me think. What was it now...I know it, really I do...it’s on the tip of me tongue so it is.” And he tapped his head and screwed up his face. “Yes,” he said eventually, “I have it! It’s Idris.”
Joe sighed. Things could take a long time at this rate. “Ok,” he said. “Let’s find Idris Florendel.”
They started along the row, looking for the ledgers marked Florendel I-J and found it quite easily. Taking it down they took it across to a nearby table and leafed through the pages to find Idris. There were five.
“Come on, don’t do this to me!” muttered Joe. “Tallin, which one?”
It was Tallin’s turn to sigh. “Well now, I suppose the date would be the way to know that.”
So by comparing the dates of each marriage they finally came to the Idris Florendel who had been married at the right time. Poring over it, they found that his wife’s name was somewhat illegible, but appeared to be Felagund.
“Ok, we’re getting somewhere at last,” said Joe with some satisfaction. “Now, is there a Felagund anywhere on that list you’ve got? The competitors.”
Tallin pulled the little notebook out of his pocket. He’d carefully folded the sheet of paper and put it into the notebook to save it getting lost. He took the paper out now, and ran a finger down the list of names, his lips moving as he read.
Getting to the end of it he looked crestfallen. “No Joe. No Felagunds here.”
“Dammit. I was sure...ok. We need to rethink. Are you sure that’s the right Florendel we looked at?”
“I can’t see it being another one. Let me have another look though.”
They opened the ledger again and looked at other pages in the section labelled with the letter I.
“Ah! wait now! The man married twice! I’d no idea. He had a previous wife. Let’s see now, what’s her name? Oh jeez, it’s very faint. It looks like...Helligan?”
“Right. Any Helligans on your list?”
Once more the little elf ran his finger down the list of names. “Helligan, Helligan, Helligan...Helligan!” he shouted, to be instantly hushed by Joe.
“Are you trying to get us thrown out or what?”
“Sorry Joe, sorry,” whispered the elf. “I was just so exited, so I was.”
“I know, I know. With luck she didn’t hear what you said. So, it wasn’t his current wife who did this, but a previous wife. Or so it seems.”
“Yes, Joe, so it seems.”
“So this son of hers, or brother, or whoever is taking part in the games, what’s his name?”
“It’s Hershel. Hershel Helligan.”
“Right, let’s go to the birth records and find him there, to double check. Find out exactly who he is.”
They had to resort to the receptionist again for that, as the place was so large and full of shelves, and none labelled, that they could see.
She led them again, looking a little less patient about it this time. At another bank of shelving she pointed, sniffed, and went back to her desk.
Tallin went along the rows looking for Florendel G-H. They took down the ledger which appeared to be the correct one and took it across to a table. At this point Joe remembered they’d left the other ledgers out on the other table, and that would have been a dead give away, so he quickly made his way back there, trying to memorise his way as he went, and put the offending ledgers back onto the shelving.
Now he set off back to where Tallin was leafing through the birth records ledger but, try as he might, he couldn’t find the right set of shelves. He went backwards and forwards, to and fro, and suddenly remembered the terrible ordeal that had brought him here in the first place: searching for his apartment which had totally disappeared.
He stopped dead in his tracks for a while, and allowed the terrible sadness to just wash over him, which he’d been keeping at bay all this time.
After a while though he remembered why he was here, and wondered why on earth he couldn’t find Tallin again. And then he remembered that they’d suspected someone would try to stop them. Maybe this was the first attempt. But how would anyone know they were here? He glanced across to the receptionist but she appeared to be minding her own business.
But what about the one downstairs? Might she have sent a message to the Elf Centre somehow? Certainly it was possible. And then some kind of spell could have put his mind in a whirl, he had no doubt.
Concentrating hard now he searched diligently until he spotted Tallin at the end of a row of shelves, and went across to him, before he got sidetracked again.
Quickly, he told Tallin what had happened and asked if he’d find the birth record.
“Ah. Tricky so they are. Indeed. And yes, here he is. Look: Hershel Florendel, father Idris Florendel, mother Morsia Helligan. Gives his birth date so he’ll be the right age too. We’ve found him, so we have. So now what?”
“What indeed?” replied Joe.
On the way back to Erin’s house, where Joe was clearly expected to be in residence for as long as needed, something happened which made it clear to the pair that they were not going to have an easy time of doing their jobs. Joe had seen the instant snowfall Tallin had done to the goblins, but now he was about to find out what else could befall the unwary traveller.
They were walking through some woodland, Joe having declined the “quick way” this time, when suddenly the sky became totally dark, which was rather surprising as it was the middle of the day. Joe and the elf looked around, then up at the sky, but couldn’t tell what was causing it.
Then a strong wind started to howl around them, in a circular motion, like a small hurricane, sending leaves and everything else hurtling around them. Added to this the earth seemed to heave and undulate, as if an earthquake was happening. And this in a land where such things were unheard of.
Tallin screamed at Joe: “ Get onto the ground, quick, man., and hang on to a tree. Don’t be letting the wind take you!”
Joe didn’t argue but threw himself onto the ground which was behaving more like a rough sea and threw his arms around the nearest tree which, thankfully, was managing to remain static.
“Magic?” he yelled to Tallin.
“Oh yes, indeed,” the little fellow bellowed back as loud as he could, for once short of words. He could barely be heard above the noise of the wind anyway, but managed just enough.
Then the goblins arrived.
Joe heard Tallin wailing now, even louder than the wind. It was obvious he had no answers to this latest development. He didn’t have strong enough magic to fight off this attack coming, as it was, from all directions.
Joe was wondering what would become of them now. He wasn’t a religious man so praying wasn’t his thing, and he wasn’t magical of course, so he felt totally inadequate in this situation.
The goblins started attacking by hurling things at the pair, spears, arrows, and when they ran out, chunks of metal, acorns, stones, anything they could find in fact.
It was all getting more than unpleasant now, and all the detectives could do was hang on the those tree trunks and hope it would stop before they couldn’t take any more.
Then Joe thought about someone he hadn’t thought about since he got here. That pesky leprechaun. He wondered if it was possible to contact him some way.
No harm in trying, he thought. After all, the wretched creature hadn’t had any qualms about contacting him. He tried to picture the little man in his mind, and concentrated hard. If you’re there, Og, and can hear me, get your butt over here NOW, he screamed silently.
He didn’t really think it would work, but it was better than just sitting there, feeling helpless. However, after a little while it seemed to him that the wind was dropping, the sky was becoming a little lighter, and the ground wasn’t making him feel so seasick any more.
Gradually this continued until things were almost back to normal, and the goblins began to scatter. Tallin was very surprised, having been convinced that their time was up. He had no idea why things had abated but he was very glad they had.
And then a familiar voice, familiar to Joe anyway, was heard coming through the trees.
“Begorrah, that was fun and no mistake. Oi’ll just bet you was thinking the end was noigh.”
“Og! I never thought I’d say this but am I glad to see you.”
“Ah well now, Oi couldn’t let them kill yous, could Oi? No indeed. Sure and don’t you have a job to do, and very important it is too.”
The woods were now completely returned to their peaceful state. Tallin released his grip on the tree he’d attached himself to, and joined Joe and Og.
“So,”he said. “You’re Og, are you? You’ll be having my undying gratitude, so you will. “
“Ah sure it’s nothing. Nothing at all. Oi’m just happy you’re safe. Oi have to get this man back to his home at some point, and I couldn’t be taking a corpse home, now could Oi? Wouldn’t look good at all.” And he laughed uproariously.
The three of them now repaired to Erin’s home to be comforted with the inevitable tea and a hot meal.
It was agreed that Erin really deserved to know a bit more of what was going on. They didn’t want to put her in danger, after all, although she laughed at the thought of that. She knew that she was pretty safe from elven magic, but she had some powerful friends to call on if necessary.
Og, however, stressed the need to be watchful. Powerful people were behind this after all. Naming no names, but “hoigh and moighty if you know what Oi mean,” he told her, with a large wink.
Erin looked thoughtful then and nodded. “I take your point, Og,” she said.
Heads were put together, to decide what to do next to search out the truth of the gnome’s death. Clearly this “high and mighty” person had succumbed to pressure from a former wife to do something illegal at the games, and the gnome had been hired to do that something which had then gone horribly wrong. And the Elf Inspector had been pressured or otherwise persuaded into covering up the truth.
Having found the illegal substance on the gnome, drugging a mount with performance enhancing drugs had clearly been a part of the plot. Tallin had checked his list again and announced that it was a grasshopper that the suspect would be riding.
So what could have gone wrong? Did the gnome decide to try the stuff himself? It seemed very strange. From what they’d seen with the crystal the last thing he’d known was an elf’s angry face and being told it was all his fault.
Presumably, they decided, if he had this drug in his system and his heart was racing, that kind of shock may have given the poor little thing a heart attack. But the whys and wherefores were still a mystery. And how to prove it?
No-one was going to go to the former wife of the head of the Florendel clan and demand an explanation. That went without saying. And it wasn’t much use questioning the competitor himself. If he knew about the plot he wouldn’t be likely to admit it, and if he didn’t it was equally pointless. And either way, the family would hear about it and, well, not be very happy. To put it mildly.
And the Elf Inspector wasn’t going to admit to anything, or as much as he knew, either.
“Sure, we need a plan,” Tallin announced plaintively and no one disagreed.
Joe suggested going invisible to the Florendel home. That caused some sharp breathing in and looks flashed between the others present. It was possible, of course, but could they get away with it? After the events in the woods it seemed that the Florendels had some pretty strong magic available to them.
He amended his idea. ‘What about the former wife’s home then?’ he asked.
That received very much the same response.
“Ah!” Joe had just thought of something. “Do they do drug testing at these games?” he enquired.
Everyone sat up and gasped. Partly because such a thing was unheard of. Partly because they thought it a splendid idea. And partly because they wondered how on earth they could get it implemented under the circumstances.
“Great, great. That’s a great idea you have there, Joe. But how?” asked Tallin.
Tea was called for as they all got their little grey cells working again.
After a while Joe spoke.
“If,” he started tentatively, “if the inspector was put in a difficult position, what would he be likely to do?”
“Why, what do have in mind, Joe?” asked Erin.
“Well. If we were to go to him and mention the fact that we know there were performance enhancing drugs involved in the death of the gnome, and that they were undoubtedly connected to the games, and that such a thing would bring dishonour on the whole games and all connected with them, and we should therefore establish a drugs test for all the creatures used as mounts - could he reasonably refuse?”
Silence. A long silence, while everyone present considered the implications.
“Ah now. He’d be between a rock and hard place, wouldn’t he?” Tallin observed.
“He would indeed.”
More silence.
“I guess he could just ignore the whole thing, so we’d have to make the connection public. It is in the public interest, after all. I haven’t seen any form of newspapers in this part of the world. Do you have such things?”
“Well not among the faery, no,” Erin told him. “We have other ways of spreading news of course.”
“So what say we start a rumour. Spread it widely. Get people worked up until the Inspector feels obliged to do something.?”
More silence as this was considered.
Og was all for it. Tallin was worried. Erin wasn’t sure. Even Joe had reservations. But all in all it seemed to be the only way forward.
Og the leprechaun, as the person most in favour, was chosen as the source of the rumours getting about. And given his enthusiasm for any task allotted to him, and his loquaciousness, they could be fairly sure that it wouldn’t take long for the word to spread widely.
Joe, Tallin and Erin were still uncertain about this plan but it did seem to be all that could be done in the short term.
They went to bed later that night but didn’t sleep at all well.