-Track Fourteen-
Billy Numan sat in a large leather armchair looking out of a window overlooking London and delighted with his new office on the top floor of Broadcasting House.
“Your two o’clock appointment has arrived in reception, sir,” Billy’s secretary announced through the intercom. “Great, Okay Eileen, please have her escorted up here.”
Billy looked forward to meeting Doctor Fossdyke and intrigued by her phone call a few days earlier.
Eileen, Billy’s secretary, had taken a call from Doctor Lucy Fossdyke, who claimed to be a close relative of Steven, Strat, Baker and said she had vital information about Steve and the rest of Fossils that she needed to give Billy direct, as she didn’t want it overheard and misconstrued.
After checking, Billy found out that Doctor Lucy Fossdyke, nee Baker, was a respected local G.P. who also owned several properties in Cleethorpes, including a residential home, so he called her.
“Hello, Doctor Fossdyke. This is Billy Numan, head of production and promotions for Fossils. I believe you and Strat are related, so what can I do for you?”
Lucy nodded and told him that she had information and photographs of Steve and the other band members that she would only show him and discuss in person.
Billy bragged about himself, before telling Lucy what he would do for her son's band. Lucy chuckled, ‘Arrogant little twerp, thinks I am Steve’s mother.’ she thought.
Billy arranged an appointment and said. “I look forward to meeting you, Doctor Fossdyke, okay… later.”
Billy smiled, put his hands behind his head, and thought, ‘Strat’s mother a doctor, what a great story on how the band's leader became a humanitarian. Once I get the photographs from her, I will call a press conference to announce that I will release photographs of the band,’ he smirked. ‘Then I will call the newspapers and claim the rewards.’
Lucy and Cosmo went up the elevator to Billy’s plush office escorted by a burly security guard whose stern expression never changed, and Cosmo thought. ‘This giant could easily rip our heads off without breaking a sweat.’ He then chuckled when the guard nonchalantly dropped them off with Eileen and trudged away mumbling about being dragging him away from his desk to take a couple of unimportant people in an elevator. He reminded Cosmo of Marvin the Paranoid Android, from Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy.
Eileen took Cosmo and Lucy into Billy’s office.
“Doctor Fossdyke,” said Billy, coming over to shake their hands. “I’m Billy Numan, Head of Fossils production with the BBC.”
“Hello Mr Numan, call me Lucy.”
Billy then looked at Cosmo and Lucy smiled and said, “This is Cosmo, a family friend who drove me here.”.
“Okay, Lucy and Cosmo it’s nice to meet you both, would you like a coffee, or maybe something stronger?” asked Billy smirking, assuming Cosmo must be her boyfriend.
“Coffee please,” said Lucy and Cosmo nodded.
“Latte, cappuccino, or almond Mocha?” asked Eileen.
“Two lattes will be fine,” said Lucy.
Eileen left the room and Billy directed them to chairs at his desk. He sat behind the desk and smirked.
Cosmo looked around the plush office.
“Pollock’s,” said Billy, noticing Cosmo looking at the artwork
‘Bollocks to you too mate,’ thought Cosmo as Billy told him they were prints of Jackson Pollock’s art, but expensive ones.
Cosmo smiled, thinking he had seen similar art on the Wellow’s Ladies’ toilet floor; a mixture of vomit, blood, faeces, and discarded vindaloo.
Lucy removed a folder from her briefcase as Eileen brought in coffee and left the room.
“Okay, Doct...err, Lucy, what startling revelation have you got for me about England’s newest superstars?” asked Billy with a smirk.
Lucy put the folder on Billy’s desk and opened it. She shuffled papers and handed an A4 sized sheet to Billy.
Billy smiled and read the names on the paper.
“You’re advertising Fossils as a boy band,” said Lucy.
Billy nodded.
“Who told you that they were young?” asked Lucy.
Billy thought, sighed, smiled, and said. “Lucy, everybody knows that. And judging by your age, I imagine your son to be in his early twenties.”
Cosmo smirked as Lucy pointed to the paper and said. “Their names are Elvin Stanley, Wayne Logan, Charles Clark, and Steven Baker.”
“We already know that, and their stage names: Strat, Chippers, Sticks, and Nobby. But thank you for that piece of information,” he said sounding sarcastic. “Was that all?” Billy asked. He stared at the middle-aged doctor and the rough-looking man who said nothing.
Lucy smiled, pulled photographs from the file, leaned over the large desk, and placed them separately in front of Billy.
Billy looked at the photographs, frowned, and asked. “Who are these old men?”
Lucy smiled and tapped on Wayne’s photo.
“Wayne Logan… Sticks,” she said, and pointing at two others told him. “That’s Charles Clark… Nobby, and Elvin Stanley… Chippers. And he...” said Lucy picking up Steve’s photo, “… was the man you spoke to in the Philippines... My Father, Steven Baker... Strat.”
Billy looked dumbfounded. He stared at the photographs in disbelief and exclaimed. “Your Father!”
Billy looked up, glared at Lucy and Cosmo, and snapped, “I don’t know what game you’re playing.”
“I would listen to what we want,” said Cosmo, “ because if you throw us out, we will contact John Alton, or his boss, James Wilson, at the Daily Nation. If you didn’t know about the band before, you do now.”
Billy looked at Cosmo. ‘I recognise that voice,’ he thought and bawled. “Sugden!”
Cosmo smiled.
“So you’re trying to blackmail me; what do you want?” snarled Billy.
“We want this nonsense to end, so my father and his friends can come home without you, your company, or the press persecuting them,” said Lucy.
Billy stared at the pair and looked again at the photographs. He then sneered and said. “Oh, I see now, it’s becoming clear. Sugden, you are angry because you will not profit from the band, so you and this woman concocted a story to frighten me into believing about wanting nothing so I offer you more money. Great story.” said Billy, who chuckled as he picked up the photos, handed them back to Lucy, and said, “These could be of anybody. If you are indeed Doctor Lucy Fossdyke, I bet they are geriatrics from your old folk’s home… Yes, I did my research. Good try. Now, enough of this nonsense, I am a busy man.”
He pressed his intercom. “Eileen, get security up here these people are leaving.”
“You should have done your research more thoroughly,” said Lucy as Cosmo handed her the camcorder they’d brought with them. Lucy fiddled with the controls as Billy glared at her, so Cosmo slipped his hand into his jacket pocket and switched on another device.
Lucy pressed play and handed the camcorder to Billy.
“We have copies,” Cosmo told him, as the recording that Bernard made at Fossdyke played.
Billy watched and listened to the short film, showing the four old men playing tracks from the Hope album.
Billy noticed the footage dated back to before Fossils won the regional competition.
Cosmo and Lucy smirked when Billy turned pale.
“The security guard’s here, sir,” said Eileen.
“Send him away,” snapped Billy as he watched the screen.
Cosmo chuckled when he imagined Marvin’s reaction.
Billy switched off the camera, placed it on his desk, and stared at it. He knew that this evidence was irrefutable, and the supposed vibrant young band members are unmarketable old has-beens. Billy knew that if this information ever became public, the press would accuse him of duping the British public into believing that the washed-up old geriatrics were young musical marvels. He would be embarrassed and ridiculed within the music industry and by his peers, knowing his bosses would fire him.
“Well,” said Lucy “So now you know my Father and the other Fossils are old men, what are you going to do about it?”
Billy looked up, glared at the Doctor, and said, “Whatever I do, has nothing to do with you, or him,” he pointed at Cosmo and warned. “If either of you breathes a word of this to anyone, the BBC will sue.”
“Sue for what?” asked Cosmo, “for giving you the facts.”
Billy inhaled, leaned back in his chair, and looked at the pair while he considered what to do next. He then leant forward, pressed his intercom, and yelled. “Get Nutley here, immediately.”
Kipper, as usual, was in his office emailing his growing list of fans. Eileen’s voice came over his intercom telling him to report to Billy’s office straight away. Kipper ambled to Billy’s office, wondering what was so urgent to disturb him from his fan mail.
Eileen ushered Kipper into Billy’s office, where an angry Billy glared at him. He then gasped when he saw Cosmo and Lucy and realised from Billy’s angry expression that he knew the truth. With his palms sweating, he stammered. “H...Hi Cosmo... Hello Lucy.”
The pair looked at him with disdain.
“Sit down Nutley,” snapped Billy. Kipper did as instructed, and Billy slid the camcorder over to him.
Kipper watched the camcorder while Billy and the others glared at him. When it finished, he looked at Billy and said. “That’s Fossils!”
Billy flew into a rage and yelled. “Nutley you have misled me, the BBC, Virgin, and the British public. I will make sure you go to prison for a long time, you bastard. You told us that Fossils were abroad, so you could con everyone.”
Kipper trembled as Billy ranted and raved.
When Billy had finished yelling, he glared at Kipper and snapped. “Well, what have you to say?”
Kipper looked at the floor and mumbled. “They are abroad and I never said that they were young, when I tried to tell you, you ignored me.”
“What?” Billy snapped.
Cosmo and Lucy remained silent as the enraged Billy Numan tore into Kipper again. They felt pleased that Kipper was about to get his comeuppance for the trouble he had caused, although they realised that most of the problems came down to Billy Numan’s arrogance and ambition. Cosmo knew Kipper had always been stupid, but never malicious.
“So what are you going to do to make this problem go away and allow my father and his friends to return home unhindered?” interrupted Lucy.
Billy seethed. Even though Kipper was correct about him never actually saying anything about Fossils being young, he said. “This was entirely your fault Nutley, so it will be on your head the axe will fall.” He glared at Kipper, realising that he must limit the damage now knowing the truth about Fossils and knew he had one thing in his favour but needed to manipulate the facts.
Billy smiled, and said, “I am sorry for my outburst Lucy and Mr Sugden. But as you heard, I knew nothing about this.”
Lucy and Cosmo looked at the now smirking Billy Numan.
‘Slimy git, what’s he up to?’ Cosmo wondered as Billy continued. “I will do everything in my power to allow your father and his friends to return home unhindered. Please give me time to arrange things. In the meantime, I will book you into a hotel at our expense until I’ve spoken to my people and found a satisfactory outcome for everyone.” Billy glared at Kipper and pressed the intercom button.
“Would you like a double or two single suites?” asked Billy smirking.
Marvin came to the office and escorted them out, grumbling about having to take the same unimportant people down the elevator... twice.
Cosmo smiled, put his hand in his pocket, and switched off his recorder.
Lucy and Cosmo waited in the limo in the underground car park. Kipper came out of the elevator, got in the car, and stared at the floor as the car pulled away.
‘That’ll stop him wandering off,’ thought Billy. ‘With the animosity those two showed towards him, Kipper will stay in his room.’
Once Kipper, Lucy, and Cosmo left, Billy called his team together. They worked on a damage limitation plan. After many hours of deliberation, Billy came up with a strategy that would clear him but put Kipper well and truly in the poop.
There was an awkward silence in the chauffeur-driven B.B.C. limousine as it drove to the Hilton.
Lucy broke the silence as they pulled up at the Hilton. “Why didn’t you just tell them the truth, you are a stupid boy?”
“I tried, but nobody would listen,” stammered Kipper.
He rushed from the car, into the hotel, and up to his plush suite feeling dejected and alone.
Cosmo and Lucy enjoyed the glamour and opulence of the Hilton. They saw how this lifestyle had captivated Kipper, but they could not forgive the trouble he had caused.
As Billy figured, Kipper stayed in his room, not wanting to run into Lucy and Cosmo. Kipper’s phone rang several times, but he ignored it and sat in the dark.
The following morning, Billy Numan summoned Kipper to his office. A company lawyer interrogated him and told him what action they intended to take. The lawyer cited prosecution laws, which he claimed Kipper had broken and he faced a long prison term unless he accepted an alternative. Kipper felt afraid and not understanding anything being said, accepted the offer.
Billy then sent a car along to the Hilton to pick up Lucy and Cosmo and they went to his office.
“Lucy, Mr Sugden, I have sorted out our problem and your father and his friends can come home soon. Isn’t that great news?”
Cosmo and Lucy listened while Billy outlined the plan which sounded vague to Cosmo and Lucy. They gleaned enough to realise that Kipper would be fed to the British media like a lamb to the slaughter, while Numan and his team would not only get away unscathed but would profit considerably. However, it sounded the only solution.
“I do not need to tell you about the importance of keeping everything secret. Once we have announced everything tomorrow at a press conference, there must be nothing to suggest otherwise,” said Billy.
Lucy and Cosmo nodded. “We understand,” said Lucy.
“What will happen to Kipper?” asked Cosmo.
“We will not prosecute Mr Nutley, so all this should blow over soon, and your family and friends can return safely. You are both welcome to attend the press conference tomorrow afternoon,” said Billy.
Lucy looked at Kipper staring at the floor and said. “Yes, we will be there.”
“You can both enjoy another night at the Hilton,” said Billy, sounding smug.
After they’d met with Billy Numan, Kipper, Cosmo, and Lucy returned to the Hilton where Kipper rushed to his room. Lucy and Cosmo went into the plush lobby area and chatted. They hoped that after tomorrow’s press conference, their family and friends could return home unhindered. At 4:30 pm in the UK. Lucy called Steve to give him and the others an update.
“I still don’t trust Billy Bullshit,” said Cosmo. “He has something up his sleeve.”
Kipper sat in his room feeling ashamed. He gazed out of the window at the dark rain-clouds that he wanted to engulf him and carry him away, knowing he was about to be labelled a fraudster and conman and hated by the entire country. Like a condemned prisoner awaiting execution, he sat on the bed with his head in his hands. With his dreams now shattered, his nightmare was about to begin.
Cosmo and Lucy were just finishing dessert when Kipper came to their table.
Lucy and Cosmo glared at Kipper, who sighed and asked. “Can I sit down, please?”
An air of tension lingered at the table when Kipper sat down and a waiter came over. “Good evening Mr Nutley, would you like to order?”
“I’ll have a glass of water please,” said Kipper.
Cosmo saw tears in Kipper's eyes and seeing how miserable he looked, said. “You are a stupid twat, Kipper!” he said and smiled.
“I know and I am sorry. I never meant to hurt anyone, especially my friends.” Kipper wiped away a tear and told them. “I never wanted any of this to happen but they wouldn’t listen. Even after Steve told them that they did not want a record contract, Billy manipulated him and me. I went along with everything as I didn’t want to give up this lifestyle.” Kipper sighed and looking around the Hilton, said, “I should have known I didn’t fit into all this… I am just DJ Kipper; Wellow’s resident DJ.”
The waiter brought over Kipper's water and seeing him crying asked.
“Is everything okay Mr Nutley?”
Kipper nodded.
“My daughter thinks you are terrific.” said the waiter and walked away.
Lucy and Cosmo felt sorry for Kipper. He had been stupid and naive, but they could do nothing with their priority being the safe return of family and friends.
“Wellow resident DJ, and now a sex symbol by the sound of it,” said Cosmo smiling.
Kipper wiped away more tears and looked at Cosmo and Lucy.
Lucy put her arm around him and said. “Don’t worry, we will be there tomorrow.”
“Yeah,” said Cosmo. “Let’s get tomorrow over with and we can get back to normal. And stop crying,” he pointed at the waiter and added. “You don’t want him telling his daughter that her sex god is a Jessie.”
Kipper felt relieved; at least he would see familiar faces amongst the vultures baying for his blood and as the evening wore on Kipper chatted about his time in London, and several hours later they went to their respective rooms. Cosmo and Lucy felt sorry for their gullible friend and his impending public disgrace and knew he would ne terrified but felt powerless to intervene.
However, Kipper felt overjoyed. He hoped the old fellas would forgive him and he no longer felt concerned about the upcoming press conference nor any consequences or punishment. He just felt happy to have rekindled an important friendship.